Best Week Ever |
- Video: Le Man And Le Dog In Le Snow
- Royal Wedding Coin Gives Prince William 10,000 More Hair Follicles
- PROOF: ALF Was A Womanizing, Racist Nightmare
- Hot Israeli Soccer Player Is Very Very… Eh…
- Your Christmas Gift: Shaquille O’Neal Conducts The Boston Pops
- Here’s A Dog Nativity Scene Even Jesus Would Love!
- Larry King Does Stand Up Just The Way He Promised He Would
| Video: Le Man And Le Dog In Le Snow Posted: 22 Dec 2010 08:55 AM PST When I was young, my mom took our dog, Major, out for a walk in the snow. When she returned to the house, she was carrying Major. He was an English Springer Spaniel, which is a medium sized dog-not easy to carry. She said that he had suddenly stopped walking and that he must’ve injured his paw. She was really worried about him. She put him down in the kitchen and he pranced off as normal as can be. Basically, my dog Major was a huge pussy and his feet got cold in the snow so he pretended like he couldn’t walk to get a free ride from my mom. What a jerk. In a slight twist on this story, this man and dog seem to have a symbiotic relationship wherein it is understood that the dog shall not walk in the snow, but shall instead perch like a parrot on his owner’s shoulders. The soundtrack makes it sound like one of those charming French or Italian films. Man And Dog, by Federico Fellini. Or, this is just a Pixar short waiting to be animated.  |
| Royal Wedding Coin Gives Prince William 10,000 More Hair Follicles Posted: 21 Dec 2010 02:08 PM PST
Also, Kate Middleton looks like a 55-year-old yoga instructor or something. She looks like a boxer. And his hair? Extremely generous. Who designed this coin? BEHEAD HIM.  |
| PROOF: ALF Was A Womanizing, Racist Nightmare Posted: 21 Dec 2010 01:25 PM PST ALF is one of the remaining puppety icons of the 1980s, and I should know: The stuffed animal version of ALF has followed me from my toddler years all the way to college and to the West, where he lays, embalmed, in a bag somewhere, the last tangible remainder of my youth. That glass shattering? That’s the sound of my dreams, which have collapsed ‘neath the weight of this MINDBLOWING REVELATION: ALF was a womanizing assh*le who says the N WORD. Yes, that word. Witness: A Youtube commenter points out that ALF is just impersonating a very famous episode of L.A. Law where someone with Tourette’s Syndrome is interviewed on the witness stand. Despite myself, I must admit it is pretty hilarious… (and well acted!) But still, ALF, was that really necessary? The straddling line? The N Word? All of it? You were my favorite little person in an alien costume, and now? Now, you’re just another sleaze muppet.  |
| Hot Israeli Soccer Player Is Very Very… Eh… Posted: 21 Dec 2010 01:44 PM PST I know basically nothing about this video. I don’t know the name of this Israeli soccer player (Shlomi something), I don’t know why he’s so handsome, and I don’t understand why in a country full of fluent English speakers, he is a veritable caveman. But do we even need answers to these questions? No, we don’t. Because I still sat through the entire thing at least 7 to 9 brillion times, because, well sh*t, we in love. “I think only win”: I mean, sh*t, he don’t need to speak English. In fact, I prefer him this way. (I am so sick of English.) I passed this along to my mother, a fluent Hebrew speaker with a side of German, and what amused her the most were the This video has gone incredibly viral in Israel and beyond, and has even spawned some hilarious response videos. Our favorite is ahead, and involves “the weather.” Honestly, I wouldn’t not talk to the animated version of him.  |
| Your Christmas Gift: Shaquille O’Neal Conducts The Boston Pops Posted: 21 Dec 2010 11:40 AM PST You had no idea you wanted this for Christmas, but it turns out you did. It turns out the thing you most wanted in the world was for Shaquille O’Neal to put on an enormous tuxedo and conduct the Boston Pops as they play Sleigh Ride. This is great. And it might even be classier than Ron Artest‘s rap song about Michael Jackson. This is a Kazam wish come true.
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| Here’s A Dog Nativity Scene Even Jesus Would Love! Posted: 21 Dec 2010 11:33 AM PST
Fab Life editor Lauren Deiman forwarded this photo her aunt sent to her of an almost entirely accurate nativity scene made up of dogs and a very happy-to-be-included horse. The dogs, on the other hand, could not are less. Seriously, dogs, this is going to be forwarded to hundreds of thousands of relatives. Perk it up, pals. You can click on the image for a larger, more wallpaper worthy size. The Baby Jesus chihuahua is a sweet touch, as he truly looks like a godly little newborn, though we’ll always wonder what the donkey hidden behind the entire scene was thinking. Like, I’ll be wondering about it for hours. In the meantime…   |
| Larry King Does Stand Up Just The Way He Promised He Would Posted: 21 Dec 2010 12:40 PM PST
Last night on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Larry took his first steps toward becoming the Louis C.K. of his generation (the generation from 6 generations ago). Sometimes it can be tricky to navigate your way through crazy old man stand up, so we’ve made a guide for you below. We’ll walk you through this and provide your thoughts for you. (00:06) “I don’t do jokes. I do stories.” Oh, good. That ought to comfortable to watch. (00:27) And when Jay asks you to do jokes, YOU DO THEM!! (00:38) Wait, did he steal this joke from an algebra text book? (01:24) The woman in this joke really loves exposition. (01:40) Nice. (02:14) If this is a civil rights allegory, it’s about to get very uncomfortable. (02:40) Oh snap! Just kidding.  |
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