Saturday, February 12, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever


The Cee-Lo Green Valentine’s V-Card: 100% Guaranteed to Get You Laid

Posted: 12 Feb 2011 07:46 AM PST

Men, VH1 and BWE have joined forces with Cee-Lo “The Lady Killer” Green to help you step up your love game for Valentine’s Day. Don’t bother with gifts like flowers, chocolate or jewelry. So unoriginal. And definitely don’t take her out to dinner at an overcrowded restaurant with a lame, overpriced prix fixe menu, where you’ll probably be sandwiched between spit swapping teens with pimples. Not an aphrodisiac! You only need to forward The Cee-Lo Green Valentine’s Video Card to one or more special ladies. They’ll laugh. They’ll cry. They’ll associate a bit of Cee-Lo’s “cool factor” on you without even realizing it. It’s a fail-proof recipe for getting some. Trust us. Just choose the Cee-Lo video that works best for your particular situation (more videos after the jump):

A Sweet & Romantic Message of Love

Link: http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1657795

R-Rated & Nasty Seduction

Link: http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1657795

In Case You Forget Valentine’s Day

Link: http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1657795

For the Ex You Want Back

http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?id=1657795

Kardashians Possess An Ass Of Many Talents

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 02:22 PM PST

I seriously cannot GET OVER how talented the asses of the Kardashian girls are. Look at Kourtney Kardashian’s ass! It can play the f**king piano. Can any of the Kardashian sisters play the piano? Of course not. But their asses? MAESTROS. With a little help from sister Kim or course.

And to think, those asses are grazing the same surface Tom Hanks’ feet once skipped over in Big… Mr. Hanks, you should have your feet bronzed for the honor.

[Photos: Splash News]

10 Family Feud Answers That Make Steve Harvey Pretend Shocked

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 01:54 PM PST

Very often on the show Family Feud (also the first line from my wedding vows), a contestant will give an answer that is either unexpected or slightly dirty. Whenever this happens, host Steve Harvey looks absolutely shocked for about three minutes, even though half the time the answer was clearly prompted by the question and another half the time the answer is correct (not always the same half – it’s a Venn Diagram sorta deal).

Because Harvey’s only reaction gets funnier every time you see it (and because some of the answers are legitimately ridiculous), here are 10 Family Feud Answers That Cause Steve Harvey To Make His Shocked Face:

10. Penis


9. Crack Head


8. Good Sucker


7. Naked Grandma


6. Potato


5. A Joint


4. Asparagus


3. Shoots His Gun


2. The Big One


1. Breaking The Fourth Wall

CRAIGSLISP: Stupid Idea Becomes Genius Internet Reality

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 01:48 PM PST

The internet hath done it again. Presenting Craigs-lisp.org. It’s kind of like a toothless Craigslist. Once again, the internet has taken a fairly stupid idea and pun and made it a reality. Which is why we love the internet.

Now, if you’ll excuthe me, I’ve got some Mithed Connectionth to pour over and pray about.

POLL: WHICH GOAT IS THE BEST GOAT?

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 12:12 PM PST

Presenting Best Week Ever Polls, where we ask you a question and then poll you on it. For our inaugural poll, we decided to choose a subject very close to our hearts. Goats. We love goats. Everything goat. And we thought, you know? There’s never been a poll about goats. Namely, which goat is the best goat? Prepare to make the most difficult decision you have ever had to make in your life…



















This should be interesting. With thanks to Lauren Deiman for her goat skillz.

Follow @Michcoll On TwitterFollow @BWEtv On Twitter

MATT LAUER: Even Hotter With Hair

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 11:38 AM PST

Admittedly creepy title, as Matt Lauer is only a teenager here. But it just goes to show that with hair, without hair, underaged or baked to 53 degrees Farenheit, Matt Lauer is hot as sh*t. These photos were taken from his Greenwich High School yearbook photos way back when in 1975, clocking him in at around 17.

Ahead, we have his “formal” shot that is 1000 percent more news-anchory than the one you see above, along with his yearbook quote. Underaged Anderson Cooper does not hold a candle to this guy.

Lauer’s Yearbook quote is courtesy of English author William Hazlitt, and it says: “He will never make true friends who is afraid of making enemies.” Please, God, hear me now: Never make me an enemy of The Lauer. He is too good, too pure.

[Photos: Splash News]

The 2011 NewNowNext Award Nominations Announced!

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 11:00 AM PST


The 2011 "Cause You're Hot" Nominees. Image via NNN Blog.

It seems like only yesterday that the 2010 NewNowNext Awards came and went. It was in that year that my future Gossip Queens co-host Alec Mapa handed me the award for 2010 Brink of Fame Comic. Sure, I didn’t write an acceptance speech, and ended up pulling a move on stage that can only be described as “exasperated giant Kate Winslet,” but still, it is one of the fondest memories of 2010, and I’ve put it away along with a lock of my updo hair in a locket to give to my children.

Wistful memories aside, it is a new year, and with that, new nominations! Sadly, they’ve done away with the Brink of Fame Comic category (does this mean I’m the winner for all of eternity? And by that logic, will I be on the Brink of Fame forever?), but THANKFULLY they’ve kept some of our favorite categories! Liiiike Most Addictive Reality Star, which pits one of our favorites, Tabitha Coffey of Tabitha’s Salon Takeover, against one of the Teen Moms (genius). Or the Best New Indulgence Award, which has the OWN Network competing against the NKOTB/BSB Summer Tour.


CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITES!!

We’ve got all the NNN Nominees ahead… Take a look!

Nominees for the 2011 "NewNowNext Awards"

Brink of Fame: Actor
• Andrew Garfield (Spider-Man)
• Darren Criss ("Glee," FOX)
• Donald Glover ("Community," NBC)
• Emma Stone (Spider-Man)
• Nicholas Hoult (X-Men: First Class)
• Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)

#zOMG Internet Award
• @CarrieFFisher on Twitter
• DamnYouAutoCorrect.com
• JamesVanDerMemes.com
• Mike Tompkins
• Sassy Gay Friend

TV You Betta Watch
• "1 girl 5 gays" (Logo)
• "Pretty Little Liars" (ABC Family)
• "Skins" (MTV)
• "The Game" (BET)
• "Tosh.0″ (Comedy Central)
• "The Vampire Diaries" (The CW)

Best New Indulgence
• Angry Birds
• Netflix Watch Instantly
• OWN (The Oprah Winfrey Network)
• New Kids On The Block/Backstreet Boys – Summer Tour 2011
• TJ Kelly, from "The A-List: New York" (Logo)

Most Addictive Reality Star
• Tabatha Coffey, "Tabatha's Salon Takeover" (Bravo)
• Tyler & Catelynn, "Teen Mom" (MTV)
• Carmen Carrera, "RuPaul's Drag Race" (Logo)
• Josh Kilmer-Purcell & Brent Ridge, "The Fabulous Beekman Boys" (Planet Green)

'Cause You're Hot
• Amber Heard (Zombieland)
• Archie Panjabi ("The Good Wife," CBS)
• Ben Cohen (Rugby Player, Activist)
• Jesse Williams ("Grey's Anatomy," ABC)
• Joe Manganiello ("True Blood," HBO)
• Sofia Vergara ("Modern Family," ABC)

Next Must-See Movie
• Bridesmaids
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
• The Smurfs
• Water For Elephants
• X-Men: First Class

Brink of Fame: Music Artist
• Oh Land
• Sleigh Bells
• Two Door Cinema Club
• Willow
• Wynter Gordon

Carla From Top Chef Does Her Jimmy Fallon Segment, Is Really Carla

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 10:56 AM PST

Here’s Carla Hall from Top Chef appearing on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon for her cooking segment that she won on Wednesday night’s episode (Super Minor Spoiler! Also, Bruce Willis was a doctor the whole time.)

The best part of the segment actually occurs right at the beginning, which Eater.com has charitably taken the liberty to GIF:

The rest of the segment is disappointingly free of muppet-flopping, as Carla basically just cooks chicken pot pie and is very good at it, like some well-trained good-cooking A-HOLE. Booooo! More giffable dancing! Less being good at what you do! (This request applies to everyone I ever interact with, for the record).

You can check out the entire (really complicated) chicken pot pie recipe on the Late Night blog, and watch the full Carla Fallon segment after the jump:

Here’s A Free Awesome 90-Minute Conversation With Conan O’Brien

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 10:58 AM PST

Ever since the Conan Thingamabob last year (got tired of re-typing it every time, now it’s Thingamabob and let’s move on) and the initial inception of his TBS show, the ‘net has been relatively quiet on the Team Coco front, though not for any particularly negative reason, but just because his new show has quickly taken its place alongside The Daily Show and Colbert as completely standardly reliable shows that occur so frequently and are always so consistent, there’s really nothing noteworthy to say about them. “Hey, that guy we like is still doing a show that we like.” Who’s got time for useless info like that when our blog has so much crucial world news to cover?

I bring this up today because Conan O’Brien just appeared on the Jimmy Pardo “Never Not Funny” podcast for a special free 90-minute episode that is — even going in with a high expectation that listening to Conan d*ck around in a studio for 90 minutes would be obviously great — absolutely awesome. Like, people on the subway glaring at me cause they think I’m laughing at them awesome. Which happens even if I’m not laughing. But it’s still awesome.

Click here to download, or click my excellent homemade player below to listen:

For the record, I have no promotional interest in this podcast, but it’s one of like, three things on the internet I actually pay for (the other two are pornographic trade rumors sites), and the opportunity to listen to a full one for free is one you should take.

Think of how good an internet thing has to be to get you to pay for it. If VH1 charged you to read my garbage, even my mom would be like “Credit card security code? But my wallet is so closed…..”

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

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