Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Watch: The National’s New Music Video Starring John Slattery And Kristen Schaal

Posted: 09 Mar 2011 08:59 AM PST

This is the music video for “Conversation 16″ by The National. It’s directed by comedy writer and all around good guy Scott Jacobson, and it stars Mad Men‘s John Slattery and the brilliant comedian Kristen Schaal who you’ve seen in everything from The Daily Show to Flight of the Conchords.

We need to see more female comedian presidents. USA! USA!

Graaaampa, He’s Not Called Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog

Posted: 09 Mar 2011 07:43 AM PST

Here’s Alan Simpson, former senator of Wyoming and current Still High Enough Up In Government For This Clip To Be Really Funny, ranting about the ungrateful kids of today and blaming two of the rappers that kids really look up to. I’m gonna have to Altavista these names real quick, but I’m prettttty sure he did not say the names of those rappers correctly:

So he’s the guy who decides the Grammy nominations. I always thought CBS turned into a human once a year and just dished them out.

(Ed Note – I spelled “Dog” with one G in the title because there’s no way that someone mangling those first three words that badly would know or care about the double-G spelling, and I don’t want to give him false misleading credit.)

(via Buzzfeed, also Everyone)

Zach Galifianakis SNL Promos: There Will Be Comedy

Posted: 09 Mar 2011 07:24 AM PST

Zach Galifianakis is hosting SNL this week, with musical guest Jessie J. It’s just as well that he’s not teamed up with The Strokes, I might have exploded. And no one wants me to spontaneously combust, no matter how cool it would seem at the time, at least from a scientific point of view. Anyway, here are the promos:

Not for nothing, my friend Jessie Cantrell and I have a “got your nose” bit. I’m sure everyone has their own “got your nose” bit, but ours goes thusly:
Jess: (Playfully) Got your nose!
Sarah takes out a knife and cuts off Jess’ nose
Sarah: NOW I HAVE YOUR NOSE!!!
Maniacal laughter from Sarah, blood spurts from Jess’ face.
And scene.

We do that bit allllllllllllllllllll time time.

Someone Get Carl Reiner His Own Talk Show ASAP

Posted: 09 Mar 2011 07:19 AM PST

Remember the talk show Shatner’s Raw Nerve? Thought about Carl Reiner a lot in the past couple days? If you said “no” to both questions as all humans not related to either person in those questions would almost assuredly say, then it doesn’t matter, watch this clip anyway, it’s ridiculous and has nothing to do with anything.

Joe Mande has strategically re-edited a long, rambly Carl Reiner response for no reason, and the result is inexplicable internet hilarity. I cannot stress enough how on the internet this video is:

Carl Reiner’s Raw Nerve from Joe Mande on Vimeo.

10 Less Volatile Replacements For Charlie Sheen

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 02:15 PM PST

Following Charlie Sheen’s unforeseeable dismissal from Two And A Half Men this week, CBS currently has a “short list of potential replacements” for Sheen, including Rob Lowe and other comparably less-crazy celebs. If CBS is truly worried about another Sheen-style blowup, they’ll hire someone even more predictable — to help out our Viacom cousins, here’s a list of 10 Potential Replacements Who Are Less Volatile Than Charlie Sheen:

1. Mel Gibson


2. This Bob-omb

3. Anton from The Brian Jonestown Massacre


4. The Bears From Grizzly Man


5. Frankenstein’s Monster Holding A Zippo


6. A Plague Of Locusts


7. A Microwave Filled With Shrapnel


8. The Ark Of The Covenant


9. Fire


10. Gary Busey

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The 14 Creepiest Statues Of Michael Jackson

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 02:17 PM PST

Michael Jackson may be gone, but we’ll always have the following 14 statues to remember him by…

14.


(click pic for more detail)

13.





12.





Be Warned: #1 is borderline #NSFW…
11.





10.



9.





8.





7.





6.





5.





4.





3.





2.





1.





And a necessary close-up:


(Photo courtesy of Edmond Handwerker)

Trailer Mix: Fast Five=Ocean’s Eleven + Thelma and Louise

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 02:02 PM PST

The Fast and the Furious franchise found a way to keep the alliteration alive with Fast Five. And now they’re in Rio! In it, George Clooney and Brad Pitt lead a gang of master criminals in an elaborate heist to knock off a-oh, wait. No, what happens is Paul Walker and Vin Diesel go on a roadtrip where they learn a lot about themselves, life and love and then drive a car off a cliff. Wait, that’s not it either. Just watch:

I realize I forgot to mention Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s torrid love affair with Vin, culminating in The Rock stealing Vin’s wallet. Not cool, The Rock.

Yahoo

The 10 Best Celebrity Twitter Profile Pictures

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 12:24 PM PST

A STORY IN GIF: The Zombie Golden Girls

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 11:30 AM PST

Artist Chuck Hodi brings us the above portraits, The Zombie Golden Girls, which are available for purchase on his Etsy page. I came across these on the recommendation of a friend, and now can’t get the image of Sophia saying “Picture It. Sicily. 193-Brains.” out of my mind. The cards are $15 each. The GIF, however, will last a lifetime.

GUESS THE NY POST HEADLINE: Martin Scorsese Tax Evasion

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 11:01 AM PST

Martin Scorsese has been slapped with a $2.85 million tax bill from the IRS for back taxes and related interest and penalties. The New York Post seized this prime opportunity with an excellent “Tax-ie Dodger” headline, but with so many Scorsese movie options available to us, why stop the pun party there?

Leave your own Scorsese Tax Evasion Headlines in the comments. We’ll get you started by upping the painful ante:

Last Evasion Of Christ

Wage-ing Fool

Lien Streets

The Culprit Of Money

The Evade-iator

Gangs Of Due York (starring Man You’ll Pay Lewis)

Shut-Your IRS-Lend

Cash? He? No.

This Tax Thing Doesn’t Look Good, Fellas

Better ones? Worse ones? Better worse ones? Leave em in the comments.

PETA Ad Not So Much Good As Bad

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 10:30 AM PST

Not to be all “Who the f*ck is Arcade Fire” on Waka Flocka Flame, but who the f*ck is Waka Flocka Flame? Don’t answer that. I’ll turn to my Google device. But for now, I know that he is the star of the least appealing PETA ad I’ve seen to date. FAMILY JEWELS INDEED.

So, according to Mr. Flame, I either wear a mink or tattoo my entire body? F*ck. This is a tough one. I’ll have to think abou-nope. Fur. I choose fur.

I hope one of those diamonds isn’t a blood diamond. That would really dilute the message.

Popeater

SNL Power Rankings: Miley Cyrus Is The Poor Man’s Emma Stone

Posted: 08 Mar 2011 02:17 PM PST

While watching this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live, a sensation not unlike déjà vu washed over me. At first, it was tough to place, considering Miley Cyrus had never before hosted the show. However, by the time the “Les Jeunes de Paris” sketch came around, I figured it out: The show’s writers gave Miley basically the same material to perform as they did when Emma Stone hosted SNL back in October. Careful watchers will note that both did Lindsay Lohan impressions, both danced it up with Taran Killam, and Lorne even decided to rerun the “Baby Spanx” commercial that first aired during Stone’s ep. What gives?

Well, it’s probably this: Although I love Emma Stone’s work in film, both her and Cyrus demonstrated during their respective hosting stints that they’re not natural sketch comediennes. I can only assume that the writers panicked a bit when Cyrus showed up early last week to begin preparing for the show, as they relied on her ability to sing (however thinly) as a crutch repeatedly during the episode. She wasn’t exactly January Jones terrible, mind you, but it will likely be some time before she’s invited back to host again.

And man, what was up with the Strokes? They’re one of my all-time favorite bands, but after seeing them perform two bland songs with what amounted to be no real sense of passion, it’s fairly clear that they all hate each other these days. This comes as no surprise to anyone who read Pitchfork’s ominous “This Is It: Ten Years Of The Strokes” piece yesterday.

But now, without any further ado, here are this week’s patented SNL Power Rankings!

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: 3/5/11 (Host: Miley Cyrus; Musical Guest: The Strokes)

1. Abby Elliott (36 points): I have been accused of being too hard on Abby Elliott by you, the loyal readers, in the past. So, in honor of her first week atop the SNL Power Rankings, I’ll say this: She wasn’t terrible this week! Sadly, though, she wasn’t very good, either. Her Khloe Kardashian impression irks me to no end; yes, I’m aware it’s supposed to be a broad parody and not a Darrell Hammond level mimicking, but still. Also, I’m sad to admit that Elliott’s #1 ranking this week also highlights a slight flaw in my scoring system; most of her work this week, save for the “Our Time” sketch and the “Duh, Winning!” cold open, was of the background variety. She didn’t have a memorable role or performance this week, yet here she sits… (Well, there goes my attempt at being “nice” to Abby!)

2. Bobby Moynihan (32 points): Like Elliott, Moynihan benefited greatly from playing a number of background roles this week. That said, his portrayal of Anthony Crispino, Weekend Update’s secondhand news correspondant, continues to get better and better. He’s got a strong rapport with Seth Meyers, which contributes greatly to how the audience perceives him. However, as careful eyes would note, Moynihan was NOT spotted behind the drum kit during “The Miley Cyrus Show” sketch this week, a place he had occupied during the previous three incarnations of this sketch. Controversy! (PS: Bring back Mark Payne!)

3. Taran Killam (31 points): Here’s a question for you — Between Taran Killam and Vanessa Bayer, who’s having a better rookie season? It’s pretty evident that we can rule both Paul Brittain and Jay Pharoah out of the equation, so who would you say? Personally, I’m leaning towards Bayer, but Killam demonstrated this week that he’s going to be a talent on the show for some time to come. His John Galliano during the cold open was hilare, and “Les Jeunes de Paris” is one of my favorite recurring sketches of the season (also see: the Emma Stone episode).

4. Jason Sudeikis (29 points): A pretty good week for my boy Sudeiks (at least, by this season’s standards). His turn on “Weekend Update” as the Devil was his clear performance highlight, but the sight of him sporting a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet in “The Miley Show” will go down as one of this season’s best sight gags.

5. Kristen Wiig (26 points): “The Rock-A-Billy Lady Party Facial Cream” sketch was one of this season’s low points. Sure, it wasn’t helped out by Miley Cyrus and her wooden demeanor, but this was an excruciating way to spend three minutes and forty-four seconds of air time.

6. Vanessa Bayer (24 points): When the moment comes (nearly) each week where Vanessa Bayer gets to play the lead in a sketch, it’s almost certain to be that episode’s best moment. Bayer is always impeccably prepared and consistently hilarious, which bodes well for her future on the show. Most impressive, though, was her ability not to corpse while sitting directly across from the target of her most popular character to date, Miley Cyrus.

7. Nasim Pedrad (23 points): Is there anything cuter than the Pedrad dancing? Answer: No. Also, she did a fairly cramazing Mary Kate Olsen in the “Beastly” parody (which, otherwise, was not very good at all).

8 (tie). Paul Brittain, Kenan Thompson (22 points): Kenan carried the alp.de.ap/Taboo sketch, “Our Time,” but this was an instance of a sketch’s premise being funnier than the actual execution. His Raven Symone was passable, too.

As for Brittain, well, he was definitely there on Saturday night! That much can be said for him.

10. Andy Samberg (18 points): Is it time to admit that it’s been an off year for the Lonely Island triumvirate? When their digital shorts hit, they hit big. When they don’t — like with this week’s “Beastly” parody — it greatly effects the overall quality of the show. I don’t think it’s time for them to hit the road, not even close; I just hope they have another strong sketch ready to go in the final seven episodes (or so) of this season and that they come back with renewed enthusiasm next year.

11. Bill Hader (17 points): As we all guessed, Bill Hader was tapped by Lorne Michaels to do his best Charlie Sheen impresh in the evening’s cold open, “Duh! Winning!” Sadly though, by the time the show aired, the Sheen phenomenon had already soured, and the world learned that the only person in the world equipped to play Charlie Sheen is Charlie Sheen. (Related: I wholeheartedly support the #losingcharliesheen movement.)

12. Fred Armisen (15 points): Armisen didn’t appear much this week, but when he did, it was gold. He got off the best line of the night during his performance as Muammar Gaddafi during the cold open — “I have the courage of the lion, the heart of a monster and I dress like Humpty Hump from Digital Underground” — and I’d love to see more of him as the Freddie Prinze Sr.-esque comedian, Richie Inez Jr.

13. Jay Pharoah (6 points): I’ve still got faith that with time and patience, Pharoah will come around. He’s got HUGE potential, it’s just a matter of him working out his place in the show. Hopefully that will come next season.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS
1. Bill Hader (500 points; Last Week: #1)
2. Kristin Wiig (482 points; Last Week: #2)
3. Fred Armisen (423 points; Last Week: #3)
4. Andy Samberg (395 points; Last Week: #4)
5. Kenan Thompson (361 points; Last Week: #5)
6. Jason Sudeikis (357 points; Last Week: #6)
7. Bobby Moynihan (311 points; Last Week: #7)
8. ⇓ Nasim Pedrad (302 points; Last Week: #7)
9. ⇑ Taran Killam (260 points; Last Week: #10)
10. ⇓ Vanessa Bayer (258 points; Last Week: #9)
11. Abby Elliott (239 points; Last Week: #11)
12. Paul Brittain (194 points; Last Week: #12)
13. Jay Pharoah (155 points; Last Week: #13)

Reference Materials:
Need a refresher on the Scoring System?

Here’s this week’s sketch-by-sketch breakdown:

Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true!
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