Cele|bitchy |
- Hot Guy Friday: Inglourious Dongs
- Megan Fox’s latest movie goes direct-to-DVD: is that a career-ender?
- Brad Pitt lights up on the NOLA set of ‘Cogan’s Trade’
- Lindsay Lohan is even worse than we thought, so says her probation report
- Pink swaddles her bump in a navel-grazing muumuu: disturbing or cute?
- Jane Fonda was smoking pot with her brother at the Vanity Fair Oscar party
- Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel finally, officially break up
- Jennifer Aniston in beige Valentino in Mexico City: lovely or oatmeal-y?
- Eddie Cibrian “likes skinny girls” so LeAnn Rimes is gonna keep her man happy!
- Cops raid Charlie Sheen’s house looking for guns; he’s performing this weekend!
Hot Guy Friday: Inglourious Dongs Posted: 11 Mar 2011 08:52 AM PST Michael Fassbender. Not the first time My Beloved Fassdong has been featured as the headliner (or Irish Creme dong dessert), and it won’t be the last either. It’s been really strange this week - there have been so many new Fassbender photos and interviews floating around, most of it to promote The Fassbender’s work in Jane Eyre, but there’s something else in the air too… it honestly feels like Michael is thisclose, you know? Like he’s at the precipice, and from here on out it’s balls-out superstardom. That’s just my thinking. Anyway, there are new photos of Fassbender, from Entertainment Weekly, Vogue and other sources too. And there’s a video that Allie at PopSugar sent us, because she knows we (the royal “we”) love some Fassdong. Listen to his VOICE. I could come to orgasm on his voice alone. I know that’s OTT, but whatevs. It’s true. And you want OTT? Go here for the literal Fassdong. Tahar Rahim. We've done this lovely French-Algerian actor before, and we've even gotten some requests for him. I tend to think he's adorable and sweet-looking, but he doesn't really have the "naughty" quality I enjoy in men. However, I might be wrong about that. In some photos… he looks like he's up for anything. Anyway, there were some new photos of him this week because he's in that odd-looking Channing Tatum movie, The Eagle, and he's been promoting it in Europe. Also: I like the way this man wears a cap. He doesn't look fancy, he just looks chic. So French. David Morrissey. The British ladies will recognize this guy, but I'm not sure if he has much name-recognition in America. I first saw him in the BBC miniseries State of Play (the original one) - he played the politician, the philanderer, and he was really, really sexy. He's actually a solid-to-wonderful actor, and he works constantly. I was glancing through his IMDB page, and I was astounded by how many films I'd seen him in without realizing it was him - Hilary & Jackie, the latest BBC miniseries version of Sense & Sensibility (he was Col. Brandon), Centurion, The Other Boleyn Girl, and on and on. He's very dashing, I think. And he's super-tall too. He's got one of those lanky, surprisingly built bodies that are my Achilles' heel. Swoon! Justin Bartha. He's newly single and ready to mingle (hopefully) having just split with Ashley Olsen. He's adorable, but he seems to be rather small. Which is fine. I'm always up for another pocket boyfriend. I'd never really paid that much attention to him, honestly, and I think this is his first appearance on HGF. He has lovely eyes, but sometimes he looks a little heroin addict-y in photos. Stephen Moyer. (By CB) It’s been a few months since we’ve featured this smoldering 41 year-old Brit and it’s time we thought about him again. He’s not necessarily my type, but he’s immensely sexy on True Blood. When I hear him in interviews that accent gets me every time. Plus he seems like a very devoted husband to his new wife, Anna Paquin. *Includes bonus pic featuring Ryan Kwanten and Alexander Skarsgard. Robert Buckley (By CB) This came in as a request (thanks Kristin!) just this morning. We haven’t yet featured this 29 year-old cutie from Lipstick Jungle and One Tree Hill, which was obviously an oversight on our part. He may look like a whispy little thing in photos, but just google Robert Buckley shirtless and you’ll see his appeal. (This is my favorite photo of Buckley by far.) Shemar Moore (By CB) My mom suggested this hot piece from Criminal Minds. He’s 40, if you can believe it, and is currently single. From the looks of it he probably has plenty of women vying for his time. What a beautiful man. Jerry O’Connell (By CB) I half-heartedly suggested to Kaiser that Jerry be our headliner this week, but we agreed that he’s a little too goofy. Instead he’s our dorky dong dessert. This kind hearted dad of two is married to the lovely Rebecca Romijn and currently stars on TV’s The Defenders. He did a spot on, hilarious yet somewhat disturbing impression of Charlie Sheen in a spoof skit on Funny Or Die recently. He also does a mean Tom Cruise. Since Jerry is our dessert today, let’s call him bubble gum ice cream. He’s fun, tasty and unexpectedly full of yummy flavors. Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, PRPhotos, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Fascinating Fassbender, Michael Fassbender Online, Superherofan, |
Megan Fox’s latest movie goes direct-to-DVD: is that a career-ender? Posted: 11 Mar 2011 08:33 AM PST A few years ago, Megan Fox and Mickey Rourke filmed a movie called Passion Play. I was always a little sketchy on the plot… something about Megan's character being a circus freak performer with wings, and Mickey is trying to "save" her by cutting off her wings or whatever. It doesn't matter, because you're probably not going to see the movie. Because you won't be able to find it - the reviews are in, and Passion Play isn't even going to get a short, limited release in theatres. That bitch is going straight to DVD! Ha.
[From HuffPo] Yeah, I always wondered what kind of crack Mickey was smoking when he said all of that nice stuff about Megan. Everyone else who has worked with her basically says she's a massive pain in the ass. Maybe Megan gave Mickey a little something extra. Like a beej. Honestly, this probably won't affect Mickey's career that much - he's still working, and he's already easing himself into a career as a character actor. But Megan was supposed to be the next Angelina Jolie, remember? To hear her tell it, she was the only one with talent or intelligence or balls. I would laugh about the once mighty falling, but Megan's career has been in the toilet for about a year now. This is just one of the final nails in her career coffin. Last thing - this was like a half dozen faces ago for Megan, right? Stills from 'Passion Play' courtesy of MTV. |
Brad Pitt lights up on the NOLA set of ‘Cogan’s Trade’ Posted: 11 Mar 2011 08:07 AM PST These are some newish photos of Brad Pitt, still on the New Orleans set of Cogan's Trade. He's still got the slicked-back hair, still doing the "mobster couture" thing. But for some reason, I'm not getting as hot for these photos. Was I just attracted to Brad because of his sunglasses? Were the sunglasses the key to it? Before I get to the smoking… I'd like to have a word about men and facial hair. I've dated guys who do this scraggly goatee thing before, and I don't really hate it. I know some women and completely "anti" any facial hair, especially when it's a guy who would look so much better without it. But my general thought is that if you're going to do facial hair, it should be a full goatee or a full (trimmed, but not excessively so) beard. The key is finding a balance between fussy facial hair and gross facial hair. How does Brad do on that count? Not bad, but not great. Now, as for the smoking. It's my understanding that the character Brad is playing smokes. You can even see Brad, about to get into the character's car, with an unlit cigarette. BUT - Brad is still a smoker. He has gone back and forth over the years, and I do think he is able to quit for months at a time, but he always comes back to his addiction. I think his rule must be that he doesn't smoke in front of his kids, and that he has to go and "sneak off" to have a cig. Just my theory. |
Lindsay Lohan is even worse than we thought, so says her probation report Posted: 11 Mar 2011 07:23 AM PST Because she just did so well coming in late to court and pushing her crack lips and her latex-clad (?) crack tittays out for the judge, Lindsay Lohan treated herself and her little sister Ali to a trip to the hair salon. These photos were taken at the salon, and just after. So… Lindsay paid someone to do that to her hair. She really thinks she looks awesome like this. And she loves being photographed so much. Anyway, TMZ seems to be slowly climbing out Linnocent's ass. While they seemed to report every last piece of Team Crackhead gossip the past few months, they're latest cause is trying to get Linnocent to take the plea deal being offered. TMZ reports that Lindsay STILL isn't interested, though. Even though the judge gave Lindsay two more weeks to consider the 6 month sentence (amounting to 19 days in jail, likely), Lindsay "maintains…why should she go to jail for something she didn’t do." Even harsher, TMZ reported this morning that Linnocent's probation report is particularly damning, and if the crackhead goes to trial, the report will probably be one of the most damning pieces of evidence against her:
[From TMZ] Gee, I wonder what the report would include? Just think back to what Lindsay's cracked-out ass has done over the past two years, stir in some bricks of cocaine, a couple dozen bottles of Adderall, a truckload of vodka and tequila, and you've got your probation report. I would imagine it also includes never-before-heard details about Lindsay beating the crap out of people, and clipping babies, and crack-screaming "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!" at psychiatrists. Oh, and Lindsay was pulled over by the cops last night too. She claims she "waved down a police officer" when a paparazzo was blocking her, but the cops and the media outlets maintain that she was pulled over for running a stop sign. Hey, at least she didn't clip a baby. Also: why is this cracked-out bitch allowed to drive again? |
Pink swaddles her bump in a navel-grazing muumuu: disturbing or cute? Posted: 11 Mar 2011 06:41 AM PST God knows, I love Pink. I really do! She's cool and she's tough but she doesn't try too hard. I even love seeing her "bump" photos - for a while, she seemed to be carrying small, and she was an adorable pregnant lady. Unfortunately, THIS happened. This is Pink at last night's premiere of The Lincoln Lawyer, a film I kind of want to see just because I enjoy cheesy legal thrillers. Pink wore this crazy, navel-grazing muumuu that makes her look like a HUGE blueberry. Now, I'm not opposed to pregnant ladies wearing muumuus, at all. I'm not opposed to any woman wearing muumuus, in general. But not on a red carpet!!! Honestly, though, I think maybe I would have accepted the muumuu if the hair had been better. This hair is ten different kinds of tragic. Grey mushroom cap? For real? Also at the premiere, the star of the film, Matthew McConaughey, who looked all kinds of rough as well. Is it just the horrendous fake tan? It's something else, right? Something weird is happening with his face. I think it may be a combination of orange-ness, receding hair line, hair too long in the back, skin damage, weight loss and just general grossness. Camila looks pretty though. |
Jane Fonda was smoking pot with her brother at the Vanity Fair Oscar party Posted: 11 Mar 2011 06:38 AM PST
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, March 21, 2011] Let’s give the old broad the benefit of the doubt. Medical marijuana is legal in California and Fonda, 73, recently had knee replacement surgery. (Ok it was the summer of ‘09, but still.) She needs a little something to take the edge off and it’s better than pain pills or booze. Who am I kidding, she was toking up at a party like so many people do. Apart from the smoking inside part I can’t fault her for that. Jane recently put out exercise videos for older adults and finished a six week performance of the play “33 Variations” in Los Angeles. On her blog she writes that she plans to “take a vacation; begin my next books about adolescent sexuality and gender and start preparing and rehearsing the next 2 Prime Time workouts.” Here’s Jane at the VF Oscar party with Richard Perry on 2/27/11. Credit: WENN.com. She’s also shown with Ron Kovac, the guy who “Born on The Fourth of July” was based on. That photo is from her website. |
Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel finally, officially break up Posted: 11 Mar 2011 06:18 AM PST FINALLY. At long last, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake have finally split up. God knows how many times JT has screwed around on Jessica, and with God knows how many women. He tried to get with Mila Kunis, who wasn't having it, but there was Olivia Munn and various backup dancers, and Amanda Seyfried certainly seemed up for it. TMZ's source says that the breakup was a "pretty mutual decision … and both parties still 'love and respect each other.'" Us Weekly's source says: “It was mutual. Jessica is doing well.” Considering Jessica and JT released a JOINT statement, I don't think we're in for another debacle where, say, Us Weekly releases a story calling Jessica psycho and clingy and JT a cheater, only to have them still stay together.
[From People] So, JT is finally officially single again. You know Olivia Munn is probably already sexting him, thinking that she's next in line to be his girlfriend. That being said, I doubt JT will go with Olivia for anything more than a fling - he wants a movie star. He'll try for Mila Kunis again, especially given that they're both single now. Don't do it, Mila! As for Jessica… well… I'm about to say something that may disturb some of you. But I've always felt that women like Jessica Biel and her BFF, Jennifer Garner, are the kind of women who won't let their current partner go without a jumpoff in place. I think that's why Garner hasn't left Affleck - she hasn't found his replacement yet. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if, in a few weeks time, we start hearing rumors about Jessica with some dude, someone that she had waiting in the wings. |
Jennifer Aniston in beige Valentino in Mexico City: lovely or oatmeal-y? Posted: 11 Mar 2011 06:17 AM PST I'm sorry we only have this one image of Jennifer Aniston in Mexico yesterday, but I did try to crop our one photo a few different ways, so HUZZAH. She was promoting her eponymous perfume ("Aniston by Jennifer Aniston") at the St. Regis Hotel in Mexico City. The dress is Valentino, and while I normally don't care for everything being the same beige-y color (hair, skin, dress, shoes), something about the tones Aniston picked out really work. She doesn't look washed out, she looks tan, blonder and healthy. However, the print ad for the perfume still cracks me up: Aniston looking "Butlered" - like she's just been nailed by some nameless dude and then left at the beach with no clothes. Why would you pick this image for your perfume?!? While she hawked her perfume, Aniston also did some press for some of the other stuff she has going on:
[From USA Today] She's been talking about that Goree Girls movie for, like, six years. I wonder why it never happens? I'm not asking that as cut on her, either. It seems like Aniston would be able to get that thing financed, and at one point, Gerard Butler was totally attached to do the film with Aniston. Why hasn't it happened? In other Aniston news, In Touch Weekly has a sympathetic Team Aniston piece about how she's selling her Beverly Hills home because she wants to move to New York. That was reported weeks ago, so whatever. But they have new quotes! According to Aniston's friends, "Jen wants to shake up her life… she has vowed that 2011 will be the year she makes all the changes she can, to give herself the best chance at happiness… she wants to live somewhere less fake. And she wants to settle down with someone normal. She's looking for peace of mind." Eh. UPDATE: Okay, we got some additional photos. Question: is the top of Valentino dress diaphanous? I think I’m seeing Aniston nipple in one of these photos. |
Eddie Cibrian “likes skinny girls” so LeAnn Rimes is gonna keep her man happy! Posted: 11 Mar 2011 06:16 AM PST It's no secret to anyone with semi-functioning sight that LeAnn Rimes has been dropping weight. At first, when Eddie Cibrian finally left Brandi Glanville and immediately started up with his mistress/jumpoff LeAnn, LeAnn dropped some weight but overall she looked healthy and toned. And then came the engagement… and all of a sudden, it seemed like LeAnn began looking truly emaciated overnight (see an additional "too skinny" photo here). I figured it was a combination of things - stress of planning the wedding, the stress of being such a crazy famewhore, the constant surveillance on a man known for his wandering eye. But, according to In Touch, LeAnn's emaciation has another purpose: it keeps her man happy!
[From In Touch Weekly, print edition] Does Eddie really like skinny girls? When I saw photos of Brandi when she was with Eddie, she was slender, but not super-skinny. She seemed to have a healthy figure. Same for the other girl, Scheana or whatever, that Eddie screwed while he was married to Brandi. And LeAnn had a healthy, slender figure when they first started cheating on their spouses. So… does Eddie really like bony chicks, or is that just what LeAnn is telling herself? |
Cops raid Charlie Sheen’s house looking for guns; he’s performing this weekend! Posted: 11 Mar 2011 05:53 AM PST
[From Radar Online] Charlie tweeted about the raid afterwards, writing “#fastball; the LAPD were AWESOME. Absolute pros! they can protect and serve this Warlock anytime!!! c” Also on Charlie’s Twitter account is an announcement of his upcoming tour. You might assume that Charlie won’t be performing his one-man rant for some time, but he’ll be in Chicago at the Fox theater for two performances this Saturday! My mouth is honestly hanging open. You can get tickets through Ticketmaster starting Saturday at 10 AM. That’s going to sell out within a few minutes. Charlie writes that the show, titled “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option” will feature “the REAL story from the Warlock.” Crazy like a fox indeed. The dude must have been itching to spew his grandiose metaphors since he stopped doing interviews. Maybe he stopped talking nonstop as part of a strategy to help drum up interest in the show. In other Charlie Sheen news, the National Enquirer is reporting in their print edition that Charlie ODed four times in the last six months but was assisted by people at his house and not taken to the hospital. They also claim he pops nitroglycerin when he takes too much cocaine in order to try and stave off a heart attack. Charlie is said to want to have a birthday party for his seven year-old daughter, Sam, at his house this weekend. Charlie’s ex Denise Richards is keeping her daughters far from Charlie’s craziness and told him there’s no way the party is going to happen. And Charlie and Brooke reached some kind of undisclosed custody agreement regarding their two year-old twin boys. Photos of Charlie are from 3/7/11. Other photos are of the chaos surrounding Charlie’s house last night. Credit: WENN.com. |
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