Cele|bitchy

Ke$ha: “I think Jack Daniels is underrated as an antiseptic”
Hot Guy Friday: Double-Oh-Dong
Enquirer: Jessica Simpson’s fiance told her to lose weight or the wedding is off
Are Brad & Angelina firing off staffers because of money problems?
Pete Wentz “has been crying a lot” since he was “blindsided” by divorce filing
Lindsay Lohan: “I would never steal, I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal”
Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” finally debuts: sounds vaguely NIN-ish?
Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller finally reach divorce settlement
US Weekly: Jennifer Aniston copies Angelina Jolie’s style
Leonardo DiCaprio & Armie Hammer will have “a ton” of kissing scenes in ‘J. Edgar’

Ke$ha: “I think Jack Daniels is underrated as an antiseptic”

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 08:56 AM PST

Ke$ha has a new interview with Vanity Fair, which is good for several reasons. First of all, whatever you may think of Kesha's music or think of her as a celebrity, you should be able to admit one thing about her: the chick gives a great interview. She has a gift for soundbytes and little humorous interview-friendly stories and revelations, and she doesn't take herself too seriously, which also contributes to her being a great interview. Second of all, the VF interview means that somebody is taking her seriously. And that's a good thing, because she's really not the most offensive pop act out there, and in my opinion, a little Kesha every now and then is a good thing. The full VF interview (plus review of her new album) is here, and here are some highlights from the piece:

Eric Spitznagel: On Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, you told Ryan Seacrest that your resolution for 2011 is "to not be a douchebag." How's that been working out for you?
Ke$ha: Thus far, I think I'm doing a pretty decent job. I'm not saying I don't f-ck up here and there. But for the most part, I think the douchery has been kept to a minimum.

If you'd cut back on the douchiness a little earlier, do you think you would've had a better chance of getting a few Grammy nominations this year?
Who knows. Probably not. But it's not that big a deal.

You don't want a Grammy?
Of course I do. I was disappointed that I didn't get nominated. But I've only been around for a year. I'm friends with the Black Keys, and they were nominated for the first time this year. And they've been around for a decade. That's like half my life. So I really can't be a brat about it. I plan on making a lot more records, and hopefully one of them will be Grammy worthy.

On Glitter: The glitter's not really a choice. When you're around me, you're going to get glitter on you. It infuriates a lot of people who hang out with me. They get glitter on them and it won't come off for days and it ruins their game. But I think it's incredible.

What's your glitter budget for a typical year? It's got to be in the thousands, right?
Honestly, it's pretty exorbitant. It's probably more like a few thousand every month. If you come and see a show of mine, there is no shortage of glitter. By the end, everyone from the back of the auditorium to the very front is covered and potentially choking on glitter. I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It's really a big part of what I do. It's my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the f-ck over. I can't do that if I don't have a sh-t-ton of glitter.

Wait, did I hear you correctly? You've got glitter coming out of every orifice?
That's right. I've found glitter in places that will not be named in this interview.

You might want to mention that to a doctor. Would you describe it as a glittery discharge?
No, it shoots out. And it's coming from everywhere on my body. Let's just leave it at that.

If your songs are to be believed, your life is one big lost weekend of alcohol poisoning and recreational sex. But it's all just a metaphor, right? It's like when Bob Dylan sings about working on Maggie's farm. It's not a literal representation of your life, is it?
Everything I write is based on something I've personally experienced, or things that my friends have experienced that I just find horribly entertaining. One of my favorite songs on my first record is about this bitch who stole my car. I also did a song called "Dinosaur," which is about old creepy guys with bad hairpieces who hit on me in bars. I think dinosaurs are the male equivalent of cougars.

I guess. But calling somebody a cougar is much closer to a compliment than calling them a dinosaur.
I mean it as a compliment. I love dinosaurs. I love creepy old dudes. I love that they have so much self-confidence, despite having no evidence whatsoever to back it up.

What about that infamous line in "Tik Tok," where you brag about brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels?
What about it? I do that all the time.

When something like that happens, what's going through your head? Are you like, "How'd this bottle get in the bathroom? What the f-ck am I doing? Oh my god, what's happened to my life? I’ve got to get my sh-t together!"
Absolutely not! Jack Daniels is an anti-bacterial and it's way better than morning breath. Let me put it this way, if you wake up naked in a bathtub and you have the choice between rinsing out with Jack Daniels or trying to make out with some dude with morning breath, I would recommend picking up the Jack.

There's also option C, where you catch a cab and go home and spend the rest of the day doing some serious self-reflection.
[Laughs.] That's no fun. I think Jack Daniels is underrated as an antiseptic. Two nights ago, I was in Dallas for the Super Bowl — I played a pre-Super Bowl party — and I was with my hairdresser. He said he wanted a tattoo, so I whipped out my new tattoo gun. It's really loud; it makes this whirring noise like some scary electronic mouth drill from the dentist. He got really freaked out and said, "No, no, no, just give me an old school tattoo." So I whipped out a sewing needle and ink pen, and I gave him this tattoo. And he was like, "No, first you have to sterilize the needle!" And all we had was some Jack Daniels. We just kind of soaked it for twenty seconds. And the man still has an arm. He didn't get gangrene or any sort of diseases.

I'm less concerned that you're using whiskey as an antiseptic than I am that you own a tattoo gun.
It's great! My manager got it for me as a Christmas present.

Have you actually given anyone a tattoo with it?
Nobody will let me. Whenever I whip it out, they're like, "I was just kidding!" They sober up really quick.

You've claimed that the dollar sign in your name was meant as a joke, because of how ridiculously poor you were early in your career. But now that you're rich, can't you get rid of it? It's not exactly ironic anymore.
I don't care, I love it. Looking back now, over the past year, I'm so happy that I decided to keep the dollar sign. It's the American symbol for money, which is one of the most powerful things in the world. And now, because of me, it's also a symbol for glitter, debauchery, and youthfulness. I love that. Whenever I'm walking by a bank and I see a big dollar sign, I just have to laugh to myself.

What banks have big dollar signs outside? Do you have an account with Scrooge McDuck?
You know what I'm saying. A dollar sign isn't just about money anymore. It's also about glitter guns and whiskey. I really feel like that's the ultimate subversion. I get off on stuff like that.

[From Vanity Fair]

I had to stop because I wanted to put all of her quotes in! She's so funny. My favorite lines are "I think Jack Daniels is underrated as an antiseptic" and "I love creepy old dudes. I love that they have so much self-confidence, despite having no evidence whatsoever to back it up" and "I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body". She's magnificent.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Hot Guy Friday: Double-Oh-Dong

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 08:17 AM PST

Daniel Craig. I've been thinking about Daniel Craig so much lately. I think it's because I keep obsessing over how he might be working with two potential homoerotic fantasies in the new James Bond film - Javier Bardem and Ralph Fiennes. I mean, I could write gay porn spoof versions of that Bond film all day (and night). And then there's the little matter of two of his former leading ladies leaving their husbands shortly after working with him. We all know about Rachel Weisz, who very publicly dumped her husband so that she could run off to England and be loved up with Daniel (who split from his girlfriend as well) in little cottages or whatever. But then came the news that Olivia Wilde had also split from her husband - Olivia and Daniel worked together on Cowboys & Aliens. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe Daniel Craig is a homewrecking slut. Please, please, let him be a slut.

"Drop your pants, Mr. Bond."

Timothy Olyphant. He's one sexy bastard, isn't he? Only he's not a bastard. Apparently, in real life, he's a really decent and lovely guy, and everybody who works with him adores him. He's also happily married too! I'd like to admit something else I find appealing - I LOVE that he's going gray at his temples and I love that he's not dying his hair. It's so, so sexy.

Daniel Dae Kim. We always get requests for Daniel. My guess is it's because of his magnificent cheekbones. And that he looks really, really good in a tight, wet t-shirt. He's another one that seems like a really good guy, too. I have to admit, Daniel is probably too classy for a simple, dirty fling. You’d have to marry the guy and make him your Cheekbony Forever Dong.

Jeremy Renner. I know many of you think he's too little or too unusual, but he's my pocket boyfriend, and I love him. Another thing I love? When I'm looking up a hot guy on Google and I accidentally find my old references to him. Am I the only blogger out here in love with Jeremy? That's fine. More pocket rocket for me. Renner's got his second Oscar nomination in two years' time. He's now one of the most in-demand and versatile actors out there. So you sluts better get on board. And by "on board" I mean "the pocket rocket".

Ken Watanabe. By request. Things that I love about Ken: 1) He's really, really tall; 2) He has a great voice and a really beautiful, soft accent; 3) His face has an enormous amount of character and life - when he smiles, it's enchanting, and when he's filled with emotion, it's heartbreaking; 4) He's extremely polite and gracious; and finally 5) He's a really snazzy dresser. Things I hate about Ken: I can't have him! He's really in love with his wife. Damn it!

Wayne Brady (By CB) Kaiser didn’t want me to add Wayne Brady, who I find so funny and adorable, because he’s not enough of a bad boy for her. Brady seems like dream boyfriend material, and you never know about guys that seem so nice and tame. Sometimes they’re the freakiest in the bedroom.

Also Kaiser reminded me of Wayne’s guest spot on the Chappelle show, when he took Dave on a crime spree. This cracks me the hell up. I’m Wayne Brady, bitch.

Jake Gyllenhaal (By CB) Jake comes recommended by a friend and while we’ve featured him a couple of times we haven’t really given him the attention he deserves. He’s not my type but so many of you love him! It’s easy to see why.

George Clooney (By CB) I don’t care what people say (Kaiser) if you cut that squirrely girlfriend out of the picture, Clooney is still incredibly hot and hittable. An old Italian lady will serve you an incredible breakfast the next day while you’re lazing on giant pillows in a bed that’s impossibly high off the floor, the morning light streaming in off the lake in the background. Clooney will be propped up on one elbow, a smirk on his face as he cracks jokes about your wild night together - one you’ll revisit in your memories for decades. God I love Clooney and I’m not ashamed to say I’d take him over Pitt.

David Duchovny (By CB) This is not the Duchovny circa the unnecessary and terrible last X-Files movie, this is the Duchovny before his inner sleaze came oozing out to the surface like black oil tears. He was our nerdy hot conspiracy theorist for years and we wondered why he wasn’t our boyfriend. He’s still looking good though, and plenty of us would still hit it. (Ok, me.)

John Cusack (By CB) I’m surely giving away my age by including both Cusack and Duchovny but I can’t help it! I’m going for Cusack when he’d matured a bit and was in the Grosse Pointe Blank and High Fidelity era, not around the Lloyd Dobler years, although he had his appeal then too. I love this fast talking geek and the faces he makes.

Keanu Reeves. He is our Hot Dong Dessert this week. I know some of you were hoping for Fassbender, or McAvoy, or Bettany, or God knows who. But I am The Dong Dessert Decider. Plus, we always get requests for Keanu. And why not? He's beautiful and lovely and humble and sweet. He's great to his fans, and he's a dude's dude. Men like him, women want to do him. Plus, he has that wounded puppy thing. Women want to take care of him. With their vadges.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, Vogue, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Enquirer: Jessica Simpson’s fiance told her to lose weight or the wedding is off

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 08:15 AM PST

Here’s a story I’m hoping is made up. The National Enquirer is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s fiance is telling her that she needs to lose weight or he’s breaking up with her. That’s really harsh, and considering how impressionable and willing to please she is, if this happened I bet it was more of a suggestion than an ultimatum. Here’s the Enquirer’s report, which seems based on known details about Jessica’s diet and weight.

“Diet or we’re done!” Jessica Simpson’s expanding waistline prompted an ugly ultimatum like that from her fiance Eric Johnson - and pals say the blonde beauty is heartsick over vicious weight-related fights that are jeopardizing their wedding plans.

The 5-foot-3 singer is rapidly approaching the 150-pound mark because of her love for Mexican food, margaritas and “anything fried,” an insider told The Enquirer.

“And now it looks like her weight gain is ripping them apart!”

Eric, a former San Francisco 49ers football player, proposed in early November after a six-month courtship. “He is in tip-top shape and feels like Jessica is letting herself go,” divulged the insider.

“They’ve recently had some brutal fights, and finally Eric basically told Jess if she didn’t lose weight soon, he was calling the whole thing off. Eric is a vegan. He exercises daily and counts every calorie.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, February 21, 2011]

I don’t see this happening like this, if at all. Eric knows which side his bread is buttered and Jessica may be eager to keep him, but he’s not going to treat her like she’s expendable. Plus she hasn’t gained that much weight since she started dating Eric, and he’s filled out a little too. In my experience guys don’t really notice if you gain 10 pounds. They’re usually just happy to get laid and aren’t a fraction as hung up on our weight as we are. If anything, Jessica is probably trying to diet and lose weight before the wedding and it’s her own idea, as is typical for brides to be.

I wonder, though, if Jessica is going to postpone her wedding or just take it a little slower now that her little sister Ashlee just filed for divorce. It seems like she might take her time with the planning process if she hasn’t set a date yet.

Photos of Jessica and Eric are from 2/4/11 after they went to lunch. I hope she has JBF hair because that’s the only excuse she could give that would explain it. Credit: Fame

Are Brad & Angelina firing off staffers because of money problems?

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 07:39 AM PST

The National Enquirer has one of the more interesting "Brangelina Fighting Constantly, Empress Zahara Calls Her Attorneys" stories that I've seen in a while. Instead of making it about other women or exes or costars or tell-all books or bejeweled cardboard swords for Shiloh, or even gerbils of doom, The Enquirer claims that Brad and Angelina are fighting about something incredibly relatable: money. Now, Brad and Angelina are two of the highest paid stars in Hollywood, and even if they each do only one film a year, that's more than most of us will see in a lifetime, times 20. But, apparently their lifestyle choices (chateaus, endless renovations, nannies, security, gerbils, etc) are an enormous cash-suck. Which… I'll believe. I'll also buy that Brad and Angelina might have let some of their staff go. What I don't buy is that Brad is the one who thinks they should pinching pennies - between the two of them, Brad seems like the one who blows his millions of dollars on art and toys and endless, multi-continent home renovations. Here's the Enquirer's take:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting over money - and it has led to their most vicious blowup ever! Pals say things got so heated between the battling couple that Brad walked out on Angie, screaming "I can't take anymore! You're breaking us up!" before flying to France in a rage.

"Right now Brad and Angie's love affair is hanging by a thread," says an insider.

With mounting debts and crushing overheads to fund their lavish lifestyle, Brad is "demanding that they reduce household staff, scale back on travel, artwork, expensive wine, buying up the most buzzed about scripts and books in Hollywood, and rein in their charitable donations," said the insider.

While their combined net worth is around $250 million, another source maintains, "they're spending more than they're bringing in."

"Brad recently fired one of his most trusted employees as well as the children's French tutor, telling them, 'I can't afford you anymore.' It's hard to believe two fo the biggest movie stars in the world need to pinch pennies, but they are facing some harsh financial realities just like millions of other families all across America."

They allegedly travel with six nannies, three security guards, a private chef, and a small army of doctors, nurses and up until recently, tutors. They also maintain houses in Malibu, New Orleans, Missouri, Cambodia and the $60 million French chateau. And they're building a ranch in Namibia!

They were considering adding a $40 million Italian villa, but "Brad nixed that, and he's overseeing renovations on the French property to possibly prepare it for sale."

An insider says World War III erupted when Brad told Angelina they would have to cut costs: "When Brad warned Angie about money, she called him selfish and petty." She threw in Brad's face his plans to go on a lavish VIP trip to Dallas for the SuperBowl. "he was livid about that…[and it became] the fight to end all fights."

After the fight, Brad stormed out and flew to France, to their Chateau Miraval, which he's threatening to sell. "Brad thinks he could sell the chateau for a big profit, which would help their cash flow."

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

I should mention that in other tabloid coverage of Brad's trip to Chateau Miraval, other sources described it as an act of love, that Brad is overseeing some renovations so that Angelina's favorite home will be just perfect. Whatever - Brad's a total property slut. He loves buying property and renovating it again and again through the years. It's his hobby. And it's an expensive and time-consuming hobby, but it makes him happy.

Anyway, I just thought the story was interesting because I often wonder how many people are full-time staffers of the Jolie-Pitt household, and how much all of it costs. Let's just go with the basics: I think the J-Ps have a lot of security, and their bodyguard bills probably reach into the seven figures annually (IMO). They have… maybe four or five specialty tutors for the kids, but do they even work full-time? And then Angelina has one assistant that I know of, and Brad has… God knows. Plus, staff at every home, right? So, yeah, they're employing a hell of a lot of people. Ridiculous.

One last thing - The Daily Beast sent us this explicit denial from Angelina's representative in Washington (?). Apparently, the British papers were reporting that Angelina was trying to adopt a 4-year-old girl from Haiti. Angelina's rep Adam Waldman tells The Daily Beast: "Earlier this week, the Daily Mirror U.K. and others reported that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in the process of adopting a child from Haiti…There is no truth to these rumors. Rather, Ms. Jolie is focused on enhancing the welfare and legal protection of children within Haiti. As such, she has been meeting with government of Haiti officials, Haitian legal experts and non-governmental organizations regarding a new initiative of the Jolie-Pitt Foundation. The recently launched Jolie Legal Fellows Program will assist the justice system in Haiti to improve child protection."

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Pete Wentz “has been crying a lot” since he was “blindsided” by divorce filing

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 07:28 AM PST

I can't believe I'm still obsessed with this story, but I guess it's because it genuinely took me by surprise. A few days ago, Ashlee Simpson filed for divorce from Pete Wentz, and the back-and-forth, he said/she said commenced. Ashlee's side said he worked too much and was too erratic; Pete's side said he didn't want to divorce and that she's a drunk anyway. Now, a new wrinkle: Radar reports that Pete was completely blindsided by Ashlee's divorce filing, and that he's super-depressed about the whole thing:

Pete Wentz has been left heartbroken and inconsolable since his wife Ashlee Simpson blindsided him by filing for divorce, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.

“Pete has been crying a lot to her about this,” a source close to the couple told RadarOnline.com. “He is crushed, and does not want it to be over.”

But Ashlee, 26, is reportedly done with marriage, and wants the divorced finalized.

“Ashlee is done, she loves him, but she’s ready to move on,” said the source. “When he traveled for work, she had a lot of time to think, and in the end she just felt happier without him. They married really young and have grown apart, she just wants to focus on her child and her career.”

As RadarOnline.com first reported Pete, 31, was blindsided by the break up and was even planning a special Valentine’s Day surprise for the his wife. But Ashlee couldn’t bear her musician hubby’s demanding tour schedule and decided to file for divorce.

Simpson filed the papers in Los Angeles Superior Court on Wednesday, citing ‘irreconcilable differences’. She requested joint legal custody and primary physical custody of their three-year-old-son Bronx Mowgli.

[From Radar]

See, this is why I thought they would work… at least I thought they would work a lot longer than this. Even though Pete parties with strippers, I always thought that he adored Ashlee and was committed to her in his strange way. And I end up coming down on his side, for some reason. I think my perspective on Ashlee is skewed - even though I think she was probably pretty much a single mother, what with Pete's constant tour schedule, I still think it was kind of rude and mean to file for divorce with (allegedly) no warning. Of course, as many experts have pointed out, this whole "I didn't see it coming" defense is a bit more complicated.

Also, I really want to know Joe Simpson's part in all of this. Did he push for a divorce or did he have nothing to do with it? What does he think of these events? Does he have no opinion, because Ashlee is so obviously his second-favorite daughter? Ugh.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Lindsay Lohan: “I would never steal, I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal”

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 06:59 AM PST

It's come time for the part of the Crack Hustle Cycle for both Mother Crackhead and Crackhead Junior to get on their high horses and deny, deny, deny. Yesterday, Dina piped up and told PopEater that Lindsay's felony charge was "all good" because "God has a big plan." Then last night (during the peak crack hours), Lindsay tweeted this crack-filled crack lie:

Was on the phone with my sister&this movie Greenberg is on, i heard my voice which was odd- and ryhs ifans is watching Just My Luck in the movie- made me laugh.. i just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work! fyi- i would never steal, in case people are wondering. I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal… also, what i wear to court shouldnt be front page news. it’s just absurd. god bless xox L

[From Lindsay's Twitter feed]

Where to start? Let's begin with the explicit denial: "I would never steal, in case people are wondering." We're not "wondering,” we know for a fact that she's a crack thief. Since this particular instance of crack thievery, various outlets have compiled (incomplete) lists of what Lindsay has stolen, which include (by my estimation, but not a complete list): a fur coat, a Rolex, leggings "designs", $10,000 worth of clothes from a friend, Parisian jewels in an ingenious heist and $400,000 worth of jewelry from a magazine shoot. So, Lindsay Lohan: Still A Crack Liar, In Addition to Being a Crack Thief.

Next: "I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal" - Yeah, that's not the case, either. Mother Crackhead was the one who taught Lindsay the art of the grift, and now the student has become the teacher, and the old teacher has become the cracked-out enabler.

Next: "also, what I wear to court shouldnt be front page news. it’s just absurd." Well… what Lindsay wore showed her blatant disrespect for the judicial process, considering she was wearing a skin-tight minidress with likely no panties or bra. Oh, and she treated the walk into the courthouse like a catwalk, reveling in the attention. Oh, and she got her hair done and her lips freshly plumped for the event too. Because Lindsay thinks every court appearance is like a casting call in which she'll have to "perform" on her knees.

Last: "I just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work!" No, she doesn't. If she wanted that, she would be taking all of this seriously and she would be doing what it takes to be sober and honest and reliable. Here's the kicker: Lindsay loves all of this. She loves the attention. She loves the hustle. She loves the drama. She thinks her life is one big performance.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” finally debuts: sounds vaguely NIN-ish?

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 06:58 AM PST

I swear to God, in the first seconds of Lady Gaga's new single "Born This Way" I thought she was covering an old Nine Inch Nails song. I’m pretty sure she "sampled" from NIN. As she should - I would love to here Gaga's covers of "Closer" or "Something I Can Never Have". But anyway… yeah, the full single has finally come out, and it's a little disappointing. For me. Because I appreciate Gaga when she's making great dance music, and this isn't really a great dance track. To me. Here you go:

In her Vogue interview, Gaga revealed that she had written the song in ten minutes - which I didn't need to know. Now it's all I can think about - "What if she had taken the time to write something that doesn't sound like an old NIN sample?" In Vogue, Gaga also revealed Elton John had heard the track, and Elton had announced that it was "the gayest song" he had ever heard. In a separate interview, Elton praised her album, also called Born This Way, as "f-cking amazing" and he said the new single "will completely get rid of Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’…This is the new ‘I Will Survive.’ That was the gay anthem. This is the new gay anthem. Actually, it’s not a gay anthem - it can apply to anybody.” Um, really? Ugh.

Header is Gaga's official artwork, additional pics by Testino/Vogue.

Charlie Sheen & Brooke Mueller finally reach divorce settlement

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 06:50 AM PST

I have to admit that I knew that Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller weren’t divorced yet, because I pay close attention to these stupid details for my job. It seems like they should have been long over, but given the immense undeserved wealth that Charlie is so intent on squandering there are plenty of details that needed to be worked out. The settlement has been all squared away, and a judge signed off on it but ruled that they won’t be officially single until May 2 for some reason. Brooke has said that Charlie isn’t cheating on her because they’re separated anyway, so it’s not like an officially married status is keeping Charlie from starting his hooker family.

Brooke is going to get $55,000 a month in child support along with a $500,000 signing bonus for marrying Charlie and at least $300,000 extra. (Her prenup stipulates that she gets $300,000 per year of marriage and they were together for over a year.) So Brooke is going to make some money off of this, but considering that Charlie makes $1.2 million an episode it’s not like she’s getting even 7% of his income for one year. (Based on the amount of episodes last year and factoring in child support.)

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Hank Goldberg finalized Sheen’s divorce from his ex-wife Brooke Mueller Sheen, but the pair will not be legally single until May 2.

The actor and Brooke Sheen filed dueling divorce petitions in November, citing Christmas Day 2009 as the day of their breakup. Charlie Sheen was arrested in Aspen, Colo., that day on suspicion of domestic violence against his wife. He later resolved the case and spent 30 days on probation.

The former couple will split the royalties from baby portraits of them and their twin sons, and the actor will keep his Hollywood Hills home, court records show. The Sheens signed a prenuptial agreement before their May 2008 wedding, which called for Charlie Sheen to pay Brooke Sheen more than $750,000.

The pair will share legal custody of their sons, although physical custody is granted to Brooke Sheen with substantial visitation time allotted for the actor. He is required to pay $55,000 a month in child support, according to the agreement filed with the court.

[From The Huffington Post]

Doesn’t it seem like Charlie treats hookers better than the women he marries? They probably make more per hour, that’s for sure.

There are all sorts of other stories about Charlie. In Touch reports this week that he’s not taking at home “rehab” seriously, no sh*t Sherlock, and that he has those fake teeth over his gold fillings because his teeth are ruined from years of drug abuse. Charlie recently smiled for some paparazzi photos without his fake teeth on and his gold teeth look much better than they did in the TMZ video.

Charlie is expected to go back to work on the Two and Half Men set by the end of the month. He’s offered to cover 1/3 of the salary of the crew, who work as freelancers and go unpaid when the show is on hiatus, in the interim. EW estimates that it will run him around half a million.

If Charlie can hold it together enough to do his job the show will probably go on. His image isn’t even taking a hit from it. A new poll shows that more people think of him favorably after this latest scandal.

Photos are from 2008 and 2009. Credit: WENN.com

US Weekly: Jennifer Aniston copies Angelina Jolie’s style

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 06:33 AM PST

It was just about a year ago that US Weekly claimed that Jennifer Aniston “stole” Angelina Jolie’s look because she dared to wear a dress of a completely different fabric, color and cut that just happened to have a sexy thigh high slit, a designer gown feature that has been popular for years.

Aniston recently wore a strapless black dress with a long sheer skirt, somewhat similar but in no way identical to Angelina’s strapless Elie Saab from the 2009 Oscars. This is not even close to a “who wore it best?” moment, as Aniston’s Dolce & Gabbana dress has a different bodice, neckline, design and fit than Angelina’s. They’re both black dresses with some superficially similar details though, so US is going to go there. Their headline reads “Jennifer Aniston copies Angelina Jolie’s style.” As wrong as they are, I admire that they’re one of the last mainstream celebrity outlets that is willing to be so provocative and bitchy. They sure have it out for Aniston, though, and that’s been true for some time.

Aniston is not my favorite person because I like my celebrities to be able to string a sentence together, but even I will admit that this is a cheap shot. Is she supposed to have her people review all of Angelina’s outfits for the past several years to ensure that she choses something that’s radically different for every event? If Aniston starts wearing shapeless boat neck dresses (and you know that’s not going to happen) then they can make a comparison. She should do it just to get people talking smack, since they’re going to do it anyway.

In related news about Aniston and the Just Go With It premiere, Heidi Montag has backtracked on her comments that Aniston had her banned from the red carpet. The way Heidi explained her gaffe makes it sound like she made up the story.

Oh and it’s also Aniston’s 42nd birthday today! Hope it’s a good one with lots of sun and plenty of margaritas. Or, you know, like any other day for her. Must be nice.

Leonardo DiCaprio & Armie Hammer will have “a ton” of kissing scenes in ‘J. Edgar’

Posted: 11 Feb 2011 06:26 AM PST

Okay, maybe these aren't really the "first" photos from Clint Eastwood's latest film, J. Edgar, the J. Edgar Hoover bio-pic starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer, but these are the first photos we've had access to. And they're good too! We've got Leo (as Hoover) in a snazzy tuxedo, Armie Hammer also in a tux, and even little Judi Dench, magnificent and resplendent in some kind of fur. I didn't know Judi was in this film! She's playing Hoover's mom, and in my head, Judi and Clint Eastwood get along really well. I hope that Judi and Clint adore each other, don't you? I wish they would make a movie about the two of them sitting around and drinking together. I would watch that.

I'm a little out of my element trying to figure out who various actors are playing. Naomi Watts is in it, as is Ed Westwick and Josh Lucas. I think Armie Hammer is playing Hoover's lover? Maybe? Armie recently discussed the film:

Armie Hammer isn’t nervous about kissing Leonardo DiCaprio in new movie ‘J. Edgar’ as he knows the scenes are vital to the movie. Armie Hammer isn’t nervous about kissing Leonardo DiCaprio in new movie ‘J. Edgar’.

The actor will play Clyde Tolson - an associate and rumoured gay lover of Leonardo’s character, FBI director John Edgar Hoover - in the Clint Eastwood-directed biopic but says he isn’t worried about the scenes because he knows they’re important to the film.

He told E! Online: “It’s not a kissing scene. It’s a ton of kissing scenes. I actually just met him for the first time Saturday at the DGA Awards. He’s a talented actor. I’m not nervous or afraid of it being awkward. The script is great. The scenes are in there for a reason.”

As well as Armie and Leonardo, Naomi Watts will star as Hoover’s secretary of 54 years Helen Gandy, who after his death destroyed his personal file containing incriminating material that he used to control powerful political figures.

Dame Judi Dench is set to star as Hoover’s mother, while ‘Gossip Girl’ star Ed Westwick is also part of the cast. The film is set to be released at the end of 2012.

[From Contact Music]

From what little I know about Hoover's personal life, I don't think he had just one lover, you know? I thought there were orgies with lots of nubile young bucks (or as John Travolta calls it, "Tuesday"). That being said, I love that Clint is making this movie, and I love the idea of Armie and Leo making out. It's not as hot as Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy making out, but it's still a pretty good homoerotic fantasy that's got me smiling (in my pants).

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy

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