Cele|bitchy

Linnocent Open Post: Lindsay Lohan wants a crack continuance (update)
Gwyneth Paltrow is tacky, uses Goop to shill for Tracy Anderson’s fraud
Brad Pitt’s new, greased-back mobster look: surprisingly sexy or not hot?
ScarJo & Sean Penn’s sexy romance is full of toupees, chain-smoking
Ashlee Simpson’s “revenge romance” with ex Pete Wentz’s friend
Paris Hilton looks pregnant again, talks about Lindsay Lohan
Katie Holmes flies solo in New York, looks unusually happy and fashionable
Amanda Seyfried gets blitzed on night out with Ryan Phillippe
Charlie Sheen admits he’s broke, co-signs Rob Lowe as his replacement
Michael Fassbender sexes up a screening of ‘Jane Eyre’

Linnocent Open Post: Lindsay Lohan wants a crack continuance (update)

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 08:29 AM PST

Yesterday, I channeled my Linnocent role model and tried to psychologically get into the crack-addled mind of Lindsay Lohan. The result was a major screwup in which I published what I thought was going to be an open post for Lindsay's eventual court appearance, which I truly thought was going to be held yesterday. Her court date is in reality TODAY, so that's on me. I still feel like crap about it, and I'm really sorry for the mixup.

That being said, I'm not the only one with crossed signals! TMZ and Radar have taken their war of butt-hurt media one-upmanship to the Ongoing Crack Tragedy of Linnocent. TMZ reported yesterday that Lindsay and Shawn Chapman Holley were asking the judge for a continuance in which they could negotiate a plea deal further. According to TMZ, the judge had agreed to the continuance, and Lindsay told them: “I am ready for court tomorrow, and I believe that the truth will prevail through all of this.”

BUT! Radar reports this morning that the continuance is a no-go. A source "directly related to the case" (meaning: someone from the DA's office) tells Radar: “There will be NO continuance granted by Judge Keith Schwartz, period, end of discussion. Judge Schwartz told Lohan at the last hearing that he wouldn’t continue the case again.” Radar insists that the standing plea offer is 90 days jail sentence, in which Lindsay would end up spending about 21 days in jail, and that Lindsay has rejected the offer. A source tells Radar: "If Lindsay does decide to do an open plea in front of Judge Schwartz on Thursday, he will likely then set the matter for sentencing, which will then likely be set for another date in the very near future.”

Radar also includes the low-down on what would happen if Lindsay doesn't accept the plea today, and she doesn't get a continuance either. In that case, Judge Schwartz will transfer the case to Judge Stephanie Saunter, who Radar refers to as a "tough as nails, by the book judge". Lindsay will then get a preliminary hearing, and then Linnocent would have to stand trial. Radar notes: "Judge Sautner would likely sentence her on the spot for the probation violation, and remand her into custody immediately."

Anyway, Lindsay is due at the courthouse at 8: 30 PST, 11:30 EST. FREE LINNOCENT. Thanks to IDLITW for the story!

UPDATE: I’m turning this junk into an Open Post for all things Linnocent! Enjoy.

Magazine scans courtesy of CelebsGossip.net.

Gwyneth Paltrow is tacky, uses Goop to shill for Tracy Anderson’s fraud

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 08:13 AM PST

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't mind being associated with fraud trainer Tracy Anderson. And when I call Tracy a "fraud" I mean she's an honest-to-God fraud who has bilked business partners out of hundreds of thousands of dollars, not to mention the "fraud" of telling women that she can remake their body if they only drop to 1,000 calories a day while working out 2 hours a day (how could that NOT work?). Anyway, Gwyneth is now business partners with Tracy, and they co-own some gyms or something. This is all happened around the same time that Madonna dropped Tracy like a hot potato, and I've always believed that Tracy is one of the main reasons that Gwyneth and Madge aren't friends anymore. But I digress - Gwyneth associates herself with Chipmunk McBoltOns, and now Gwyneth is shilling Tracy's "Method" yet again in her Goop newsletter:

By now, I think you all know how amazing I think my trainer, partner and friend Tracy Anderson is, how she kicked my twice pregnant ass into shape, and keeps taking me to new levels. Tracy's dream has always been to be able to make her ingenious customized-to-your-problem-areas program available to any woman who is up for the challenge—and now she has. See below! It's pretty f'ing great ’cause it works!

[From Goop]

Then Goop gives the newsletter over to Tracy for what amounts to a commercial for her "method". Goop also included this video:

Ugh. Okay, I’ve stopped feeling sorry for Gwyneth temporarily. Now I'm back to just wanting to smack the snot out of her. How tacky is this? How cheap and budget is it to promote your fraudulent business partner on your "newsletter"? When did Gwyneth become so "f'ing" tacky?

Oh, well. I guess we should be grateful that Gwyneth wasn’t telling us about some NEW FANCY juice detox. AGAIN. Because Goop can’t poop naturally. That’s for peasants.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame.

Brad Pitt’s new, greased-back mobster look: surprisingly sexy or not hot?

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 07:45 AM PST

Is it wrong that I find Brad Pitt attractive with his Goodfellas styling? Is it wrong that I want to touch his greased back hair and have him tell me "Fuggadaboutit"? Because I am genuinely disturbed by these turn of events. I've always thought Brad was an attractive man - too pretty in his early years, eventually maturing into a handsome-not-pretty man in his late 30s. But I've never really been hot for him. I've never wanted to wrap my legs around him, honestly. But these "greasaball" photos are doing it for me, though. What is wrong with me?!? Anyway, these are new photos of Brad filming Cogan's Trade in new Orleans on Wednesday. Here's a bit more:

While the city of New Orleans was celebrating Fat Tuesday with parades and plenty of partying, one Big Easy resident wasn’t in the French Quarter clamoring for beads. Just three miles away in a warehouse in the Bywater section of town, Brad Pitt reported to the set of his new movie, Cogan’s Trade, which he’s also producing. In it, the leading man, who sported an all-black ensemble with slicked-back hair and long sideburns, plays a mob enforcer.

According to one eyewitness, when Pitt arrived back in New Orleans on Monday, “He genuinely seemed excited to be back in town. Brad waived to fans and had a huge smile.”

After spending the night at the family’s home in the French Quarter, Pitt had an early call time on Tuesday. “Brad arrived on the set bright and early,” a source says. “He was in a great mood and sipped a coffee while chatting with the cast and the crew.”

Angelina Jolie, who has been working on both Kung Fu Panda 2 and her directorial debut, which she’s filmed in Europe, is expected to join Pitt in New Orleans soon, along with their children.

Pitt’s Cogan’s Trade costars include Javier Bardem, Casey Affleck and James Gandolfini.

“Everyone on the movie is very excited that they get the opportunity to work with Brad,” a source tells PEOPLE. “He seems like a very nice guy.”

[From People]

Oooh, Brad AND James Gandolfini? AND JAVI?!? Fuggadaboutit!!! God, this movie is working every bizarre erotic button I have. If they throw in John Malkovich, I'll just melt into a puddle of throbbing, bizarre libido.

Also: you know that Javi is totally hot for Brad too, right? Javi has given several interviews about how beautiful and smart and amazing Brad is, and how their dongs might touch one day. God, I love homoeroticism. I want a Javi-Brad love scene in this film.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

ScarJo & Sean Penn’s sexy romance is full of toupees, chain-smoking

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 06:57 AM PST

Star & Us Weekly both have stories about Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn's whirlwind romance this week. Apparently, things are heating up at a rapid pace. First there was flirting at some parties, and then there was some foot-to-crotch nuzzling, and then there was a romantic jaunt to Mexico where, according to Hollywood Life, ScarJo and Sean "arrived at the Las Ventanas al Paraiso resort a little after midnight and did not emerge from their room until 2 that afternoon!" HL's sources even say that Scar prefers Sean to Ryan Reynolds because Sean "lifts her spirits" and "He'll do anything she wants to make her happy." Wow, even though I think they are a really gross couple, I have to admit, I bet the sex is really, really hot.

But not so fast! You want sexy? I'll give you tobacco-laced romance, curtsey of Us Weekly/Jezebel. According to Us Weekly's source in Mexico, “They were acting like teenagers in love and were all over each other… Kissing a lot and chain-smoking.” Ew. And a source close to ScarJo says, “She’s head over heels, he feels like the luckiest man alive.” Double ew.

Meanwhile, Star Magazine claims that ScarJo was the one pursuing Sean… which I believe. An insider tells the magazine, "she was definitely the aggressor…she looks to Sean as an older, sexy, college-professor type. She thinks he’s a genius and she’s totally into him.” I believe that too. ScarJo isn't very bright, and I could see how she would think Sean was some kind of misunderstood rebel/genius. Apparently, their relationship began when ScarJo was researching Haiti for an upcoming Oxfam trip she's making. Oh, and both Sean and Scar are fine with this relationship being somewhat temporary. Says a source: “Sean has told ScarJo upfront that he’ll never settle down again — he wants to be a bachelor…. [which is fine because Scarlett is] still at the stage where she wants to sow her wild oats, especially after the divorce.”

Also: as I was looking up photos of Sean, it suddenly became clear to me: that is one AWFUL toupee. I sent a photo to CB and now she can't stop laughing at him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ashlee Simpson’s “revenge romance” with ex Pete Wentz’s friend

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 06:41 AM PST

Ashlee Simpson has been linked with a few guys since the news of her seemingly shocking split (to those who care) with Pete Wentz. She’s been rumored to be hooking up with heavy tatted drummer Travis Barker, which would be a dumb move considering Barker’s history of fighting and reuniting with his children’s mother, Shanna Moakler. Ashlee also tweeted a photo of herself out to dinner with the former guitarist for her band, Ray Brady, right before she filed for divorce. (They were there with Ashlee’s friend, stylist Natalie Saidi.) And she’s reportedly been hanging out and partying with some pro skaters. Now Ashlee has been linked with yet another guy, a rocker friend of Pete’s named Craig Owens who is signed to Pete’s record label. They were photographed together and Star Magazine claims that Ashlee somehow seduced this guy, as if guys need seducing usually. Here are two reports on this, from Star and In Touch via Jezebel’s tabloid roundup.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has been seeing Craig Owens from the band D.R.U.G.S., which just released its first album on — DUN DUN DUN — Pete Wentz’s record label. The mag has three pix of Ashlee and Craig hanging out together, and apparently they were seen holding hands at the Beverly Center Mall, and they even kissed on the lips. (There’s a lot of teenage behavior in the tabloids this week.) But Ash & Owen better watch out. A family “friend” says Ashlee’s dad Joe is “looking for a professional athlete for his little girl to date.” - In Touch as told by Jezebel

Ashlee Simpson is having a “revenge romance” with Craig Owens, a longtime friend of Pete Wentz. “She played the part of the temptress, getting Craig to ignore his friendship with Pete,” says a source. “She loves that it worked.” Craig has been Tweeting subtle messages like, “When you wake up to messages from someone special… knowing you’ll look at them over & over throughout the day… Smiling really big each time” and “the faith I have in us will keep you near.” There’s a chance that these are song lyrics, but whatever. “Ashlee’s determined to move on first,” the source says. “She won’t tolerate being seen as ‘the poor ex-wife who got dumped. It’s just not an option.” In Touch as told by Jezebel

[From Star and In Touch via Jezebel]

Star is really phoning it in lately. They have a nice twist on this by claiming that Ashlee somehow tempted the dude, but from most all accounts Ashlee is the one who dumped Pete, not the other way around. She’s not seen as “the poor ex wife who got dumped,” and Pete was supposedly begging her to reconsider. These two were 24 and 29 when they got married. Ashlee is just 26 now and she’s playing the field. She may be dating one of Pete’s friends, but it’s probably just because the guy is convenient and her type, and not necessarily because she wants to hurt her ex. Pete is probably pissed off about it though.

Photo of Ashlee and Pete is from 10/18/10, Credit: PRPhotos. Photo of Ashlee alone is from 11/2/10. Credit: WENN.com. Owen is shown performing (color photo) on 8/23/09. Credit: WENN.com. Other photos are from his Facebook page.

Paris Hilton looks pregnant again, talks about Lindsay Lohan

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 06:17 AM PST

Another day, another set of photos where Paris Hilton looks pregnant. Back in December, Paris walked a red carpet looking really bloated in the abdomen area, and just last month she talked about her recent weight gain, saying that now she was a "normal weight". So… do I honestly think Paris is pregnant? If she is, she has been gestating for a while and yet she's stayed the same (kind of bloated) size. So chances are that she's not pregnant, and she's just gained some weight in her abdomen. That being said, I really do think that Paris will get pregnant some time soon. It's in the air. It's just a feeling I have.

In other Paris news, she recently talked about her old coke buddy Lindsay Lohan, saying that she hasn't "seen" Lindsay in a while, but that: "Lindsay is a good person so I want her to turn it around. We haven’t been in touch recently because our lives have taken a different direction but I only wish her the best."

Meanwhile, Paris got the last laugh regarding her one-time protégé Kim Kardashian. According to Billboard, Kim's first (awful) single, "Jam (Turn It Up)" only got 14,000 downloads in its first 5 days of release, while Paris Hilton's 2006 song debut "Stars Are Blind" sold 52,000 and placed on the charts the first week. Paris is more beloved than Kim Kardashian?!? That makes me want to pull out old photos of Paris and Kim together! Here they are, with their old faces, circa 2006:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Katie Holmes flies solo in New York, looks unusually happy and fashionable

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 05:44 AM PST

It's a very rare occasion when I like an outfit worn by Katie Holmes, but it does happen sometimes. This is one of those days - yesterday, Katie was out and about in New York without Tom or Suri (although I think I see some handlers lurking), and she was wearing an outfit I approve of. I love this coat. This coat is the wrong color for my skin tone, but I love this coat on Katie, and I would wear it. I also love her J-Brand jeans. I love the combo of the jeans with the coat. I love her shoes. I love her Max Mara bag. Katie finally got one right, from head to toe! This just proves to me that Katie's "street style" instincts are much better than her red carpet style instincts.

Anyway, I don't really know why Katie is in New York, and I have no idea where Tom is these days. I think he might be in Canada, somewhere. Those two keep really different schedules, and it seems like Katie and Suri just go off and do their own thing in a different city all the time. Isn't it funny that Katie always looks better and happier when Tom's not around? Right?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Amanda Seyfried gets blitzed on night out with Ryan Phillippe

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 05:33 AM PST

We’ve heard all sorts of rumors about the state of Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe’s new relationship. Ryan seems to be slipping into old manwhore patterns in that he’s taken on yet another attractive young blonde and has proceeded to step out on her at every turn. For her part Amanda seems accustomed to this, and not to expect anything more from the men she dates. Kaiser finds Amanda annoying, which is understandable given some of the dumb sh*t she says, but I see her as naive and stuck in a rut of dating guys who treat her like dirt. For some women it’s like the default setting you have for dating in your 20s. It takes a lot of work to realize that you’re picking the same type that’s bad for you over and over again. Obviously it doesn’t matter how pretty, successful or loaded you are.

Well Amanda and Ryan were photographed out at dinner together Tuesday night in LA, the same day her Elle cover interview went public. She half-acknowledged the relationship to Elle, admitting “yeah, I’ve been seen out with him,” which sounds to me like it’s casual and she’s being played, but can’t admit it. She looked pretty happy to be papped last night, and she looked a little toasty like she’d had a couple of glasses of wine at dinner.

They were out at a restaurant I’ve never heard of called Craig’s (I guess it’s on Melrose and is new) and Amanda was photographed walking her dog the very next day. So is she calling the paps or are they hounding her? I wouldn’t put it past her to tip them off about her dinner date, especially since she didn’t go to a paparazzi hotspot. It’s possible the paparazzi found them without help however since Melrose is so accessible. Ryan hates the paparazzi and has said that they can be persistent and hard to shake. I don’t see him putting up with photographers in order to date Amanda, but he’s probably happy to string her along while it’s convenient for him. He’s not going to change, but maybe she’ll wise up at some point and realize that she deserves better. It took me until I was about 30, but I like to think that I didn’t take the douches as seriously as Amanda seems to. I probably did.

Here’s Amanda with Ryan on Tuesday night and out with her dog and a friend for coffee yesterday. Her dog Finn got his cone off! Credit: Fame

Charlie Sheen admits he’s broke, co-signs Rob Lowe as his replacement

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 05:19 AM PST

Charlie Sheen toned down the crazy from previously deafening levels and now seems to be attempting to play nice. His last video rant may have been his swan song, because he claims it was his final one and he also claims one of his two radio interviews yesterday, was his last. (*sigh of relief with realization that this won’t last*) For him I guess this is progress.

It looks like Two and a Half Men could be proceeding at some point with a new lead, which would make financial sense for producers and CBS in that it remains one of the most popular shows on television despite its mediocrity. Names that have been floated by the press include Robert Downey, Jr. (no chance), John Stamos, and most recently Rob Lowe.

In his radio interviews yesterday, Sheen said that Lowe would be a great choice, and claimed that he’ll get paid for those episodes even if Lowe is replacing him. (TMZ reported a couple of days ago that Sheen has a “Michael J. Fox clause” in his contract that stipulates that he gets paid if someone replaces him. That’s going to be a long court battle.) He also expressed doubt as to how the transition from his character to Lowe’s would be presented on screen. He even apologized, sort-of, to co-star Jon Cryer for calling him a troll. Someone talked some much-needed sense into Charlie or maybe the withdrawal psychosis is wearing off. Sheen half-admitted the rumors that he’s broke (he said “I have no dough“), so that could be the motivation right there. Here’s some of what Sheen said:

On calling Jon Cryer a troll
“I’ll apologize to Jon right now. I was in a mood and I threw that out to somebody… It’s a half apology — it’s an apol! I didn’t know they – well I kinda knew they were gonna print it. Yeah, I knew they were gonna print it. I confuse myself.”

On his financial situation
"There's tons of opportunity…I've got geniuses just waiting for me to say 'let's do this.' I'm not really worried. I've got no job, I've got no dough, but…"

On Rob Lowe replacing him
“He’s a buddy of mine, he’s a beautiful man, a brilliant actor, and I hope he does it and kicks its ass because I still get [paid]”

His advice to his replacement
“Don’t look at the 177 episodes that I brilliantly did. Just park those!” he said. “Ignore the 400 reruns every week that you can’t avoid. Cancel your Sheen app. I’d recommend, in all seriousness, that they make it their own.”

On the future of the show
“I don't even know if they would call the [character] 'Charlie' anymore … how does the show transition?” he asked. “Do you have [the show's creator & executive producer] Chuck [Lorre], that silly sad troll, do you have him talk in the camera and say, 'Here's what happened' and then Rob Lowe comes out? Or do they just do it, without explaining it, and hope no one notices?"

On Saturday Night Live spoofing him
“Those are all warm hugs, they’re all an absolute homage. If it’s done tastefully and with really smart humor, I just think it’s totally gnarls-gnarlington.”

On if he’ll do another interview
“This could be my final interview. This is where it all began and where it all ends.”

[From KEarth101 and The Dan Patrick Show via People, Hollywood Reporter]

It’s telling that Sheen is flattered when people make fun of him while Lohan gets her panties in a twist. So Sheen is just an addict with a creative mouth who managed to squander a fortune on hookers, blow, watches and mansions. He’s trying to tone it down now, and he could possibly be successful with a lot of help. You know that’s not going to happen and it’s just a matter of time before he acts out again.

Oh and I just found out that Sheen shot a video for Funny or Die that’s scheduled to go up today. They previously did a spoof of Jerry O’Connell auditioning for Two and a Half Men and doing his best Charlie impression. It was hysterical.

Jerry O’Connell auditions for Two and a Half Men.

Jerry O’Connell Auditions for Two and a Half Men from Jerry O’Connell

Photo credit: WENN.com

Michael Fassbender sexes up a screening of ‘Jane Eyre’

Posted: 10 Mar 2011 05:19 AM PST

We have ONE new photo of my lover, Michael Fassbender, in New York. Is it now a rule that I must write about The Fassdong whenever there are new photos? Perhaps. I wrote about last week when we got those lovely photos of him, strutting his tight ass around New York, filming Shame. And this ONE photo is from a screening of Jane Eyre last night in NYC. As you may remember, Fassbender is playing the sexiest Victorian ever, Mr. Rochester. Nevermind that Rachester was supposed to be dark and brooding and English and all let's-hide-my-crazy-wife-in-the-attic, and Michael is ginger, Irish, sunny and all let's-bring-my-young-American-girlfriend-to-the-screening. Yes, Michael's girlfriend Zoe Kravitz was at the screening, and she didn't really have her game face on. And they didn't even pose together!

And here is Fassbender's Jane Eyre, little Mia Wasikowska. Mia is the one who "outed" Fassbender as the object of his horse's desire.

Also at the screening - Glenn Close and her wonky hairline. I love Glenn and everything, but what is that?

There are new Fassbender interviews too! Here's one that he did with Salon, and oh, here's a video of Fassbinder & Mia talking about the movie - sweet, sweet Irish dong.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy

No comments:

Post a Comment