Crushable |
- St. Patrick's Day Video: 'Boston Movie'
- The Daily Bieber: Bieber Nails, Y'all!
- How I Learned To Love My Huge 36H Breasts. And You Can Too!
- Movie Plots Reimagined with "If You Watch It Backwards"
- Crushable Books: 7 Signs That Autocorrect Is Planning To Take Over The World
- Fan Fiction: 'My First Saint Patrick's Day' By Zedon, A Foreign Exchange Student From Outer Space
- Gallery: Celebs With Green Hair For St. Patty's Day
- Am I Right Ladies? Lean Cuisine on Me
| St. Patrick's Day Video: 'Boston Movie' Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:50 AM PDT
The best part of this is that the lighting and sets are all so similar — not to mention that you’ve got Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Mark Wahlberg appearing in multiple movies — that, for example, Damon’s Will Hunting “becoming” Colin Sullivan looks realistic. In case you missed them, here are all of the movies from which FOD got the clips:
Post from: Crushable St. Patrick's Day Video: 'Boston Movie' |
| The Daily Bieber: Bieber Nails, Y'all! Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:19 AM PDT
We bet your blue (or green, if you’re in the spirit of the day!) nails look super boring in comparison to these amazing Justin Bieber concoctions. The nail salon Wah Nails decked out some teenage fingers with JB lettering and Canadian flag decals — and we’re totally jealous. Tomorrow, expect us to be typing with Greyson Chance’s face on each of our fingers. Post from: Crushable The Daily Bieber: Bieber Nails, Y'all! |
| How I Learned To Love My Huge 36H Breasts. And You Can Too! Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:05 AM PDT  The author (demonstrating the enormity of her breasts) on her wedding day. I'm a Chesty Betsy, with some tig ole' bitties. Huge knockers. Plus-sized funbags. Basically, I have enormous breasts, is what I'm trying to tell you. I was a 36H the last time I got fitted. 36H. I'll just let that sink in for a minute. For those of you who yearn for larger breasts, let me make it clear. Large breasts are annoying. And I spent a long time hating my giant ta-tas. But I've come to peace with them. And with a few small tricks, you other well-endowed ladies can too.
A quick word about sports bras: you will never be a runner, because there is no sports bra in the world that will let you jog without bouncing. That said, TitleNine makes a bra called, charmingly, The Last Resort, which comes pretty close, if you're an F or under. They don't make larger bras. What's up with that? Avoid turtlenecks. Here's the bad news: you can't wear crewnecks or turtlenecks, because anything with a neckline that completely covers the bust will make you look like you've popped out five kids. Shirts with writing are out: you'll stretch them out and they look obscene. Halter tops are too much strain on your neck. Most devastatingly, the loose, flowy tops and dresses that look perfect on your smaller-breasted friends will just make you look pregnant. The good news: anything else can basically work for you and, thanks to Christina Hendricks, designers are having a curvy moment. Choose pieces that show at least the very tippy-top of your cleavage – otherwise, it looks like no one told your clothes about your boobs. Go for structured tops and dresses – anything with darts or a fitted waist will make you look like a rock star. I wear an 8 or 10 on the bottom, but a 16 on top.
Note: the fact that you want clothing that's fitted and not high-necked doesn't mean you need to walk around in tight, low-cut ensembles (though if that's your thing, rock it). The number one challenge of being ample-bosomed is that, as Tina Fey once put it, "I only have two speeds — either matronly or a little too slutty." Learn to walk the fine line between the two. Breaking: other people notice your rack, which is a whole set of issues when it comes to dating. I'm married now, but toward the end of my single days, I started appreciating my chest as a litmus test. If a dude couldn't stop staring at my cleavage while my clothes were still on (or if he mentioned wanting to put his junk on my breasts two seconds after we started making out) he was probably not "in it for the right reasons," as they say on The Bachelor. I also appreciate the fact that I can tell when someone's comfortable with me by whether or not they mention my boobs, rather than just silently treating them as the lace-covered elephants in the room. If you're extremely well-endowed up top, you will never be a waif. I lost thirty pounds a few years ago and my cup size actually went up. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be. If I can learn to rock my rack, you can, too. But seriously, go get fitted for a bra. STAT. (Top Photo: Inbal Sivan. Other photos: The115, Nathblog) Post from: Crushable How I Learned To Love My Huge 36H Breasts. And You Can Too! |
| Movie Plots Reimagined with "If You Watch It Backwards" Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:08 AM PDT
Post from: Crushable Movie Plots Reimagined with "If You Watch It Backwards" |
| Crushable Books: 7 Signs That Autocorrect Is Planning To Take Over The World Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:00 AM PDT
1) Autocorrect will destroy your relationship with your parents. 2) Autocorrect will also do its best to sabotage your relationship with your significant other. 3) Nowhere is safe from Autocorrect. Especially not the office. 4) Autocorrect is jealous of your ability to eat. 5) Autocorrect can read your mind. 6) SHABAKA! 7) Autocorrect will take over your friends one by one. And once it’s done that… IT WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Post from: Crushable Crushable Books: 7 Signs That Autocorrect Is Planning To Take Over The World |
| Fan Fiction: 'My First Saint Patrick's Day' By Zedon, A Foreign Exchange Student From Outer Space Posted: 17 Mar 2011 10:58 AM PDT
(Zedon is a space alien university student spending a semester abroad in New York City. Weirdly, he’s familiar with of all our culture references except for Saint Patrick’s Day.) As I walked to school this morning I began to wonder if I’d accidentally stepped onto the set of a Target ad scheduled to air during that one week a year NBC gets all hypervigilant about being eco-friendly: everyone was wearing green! However, I was informed by the mint-colored sprinkles on my Dunkin’ Donuts cruller that today is actually something called Saint Patrick’s Day, a holiday named for an Irishman and the patron saint of liver transplants. Americans celebrate this holiday by drinking as much as possible all day long — the truly devoted will start with a shot of Jameson for breakfast and continue imbibing until their internal organs scream and they start to actually find their buddy’s Groundskeeper Willie impression funny and also Irish. Saint Patrick’s Day has its roots in Catholicism, the idea being that folks will overindulge so much that by the end of the day they’ll find themselves praying to God to take it all back goddammit- I mean, uh, sorry, just plain dammit, sorry, ugh and going forward will live a life of extreme piousness so as to never again end up choking on the corned beef-flavored vomit spewed during mouth-to-mouth contact with an overenthusiastic co-ed. Celebrants of Saint Patrick’s Day wear green to express an affiliation with all of the following: trees, Iranian political protest, baby sea turtles, kale, 1994’s Dookie, Kermit the Frog, bile. If a celebrant encounters someone who isn’t wearing green he’s allowed to pinch her, but I recommend against this as I quickly learned it usually results in a long tirade about how Saint Patrick was actually a proponent of religious intolerance and fuck conformity and also did you know Valentine’s Day was invented by a greeting card company? Just like every other holiday in America, a major aspect of Saint Patrick’s Day is the wearing of silly hats. Some people also choose to wear t-shirts decorated with statements like “Kiss me I’m Irish!,” which is their way of letting you know you shouldn’t bother putting money in the jukebox because it’s already blocked off with three-plus hours of U2. A major symbol of “Saint Paddy’s Day” is the four-leaf shamrock, a very elusive weed that’s rumored to be a source of good luck, which is why your son’s off picking flowers in the outfield during his tee ball game again, not because he’s gay. This year, those Americans most devoted to Saint Patrick organized a pilgrimage to Fukushima, Japan where they’re out hunting for the even-more-elusive 16-leaf clover. Food plays an important role in Saint Patrick’s Day festivities. Americans are really into eating Guinness-infused things: Guinness-infused cupcakes, Guinness-infused ice cream, Guinness-infused ham, Guinness-infused Corona. Green foods are also popular, but only if they’re dyed for the occasion and not if they’re actually good for you. The exception, of course, is kale. The most fun element of Saint Patrick’s Day involves the hunt for Seth Green, who’s rumored to be hiding out somewhere with pot and a bunch of gold — but not a rainbow, that’s just a myth owing to confusion with Saint Patric’s day, a celebration of Jason Patric wherein participants recreate that intensely homoerotic saxophone scene from The Lost Boys. Important note: do not let Carrot Top fool you into thinking that he, and not Seth Green, is that special red-headed creature you’re supposed to track down; he has no more gold and is only in it for the blowjobs. (photo via) Post from: Crushable Fan Fiction: 'My First Saint Patrick's Day' By Zedon, A Foreign Exchange Student From Outer Space |
| Gallery: Celebs With Green Hair For St. Patty's Day Posted: 17 Mar 2011 08:48 AM PDT
Post from: Crushable Gallery: Celebs With Green Hair For St. Patty's Day |
| Am I Right Ladies? Lean Cuisine on Me Posted: 17 Mar 2011 08:30 AM PDT
The Book of Truth, Brought to You By TLC. And Loneliness. A page from the Book of Truth, the myth-busting tome from the people of Lean Cuisine that helps women cut through all the lies they've been told about food to create new lies to tell themselves about food. In other words, I LOVE IT. From this page, we learn the valuable lesson of tempering your expectations. If you set out to cook yourself dinner, there's no need to pull out every pot and pan you own. You're cooking for one, not twenty, girlfriend! You'll probably never cook for twenty. And certainly not for your husband and kids – thank God you don't have those to worry about! Anyway, maybe if our heroine started with a small saucepan and a modest skillet she wouldn't have given up so quickly. Tempering our expectations, girls. Good thing there's also Lean Cuisine. You can make dinner quickly and easily, freeing up your rest of the night to spend alone. You Say Panini, I Say I Ate It Already. Lean Cuisine – Cubicle from Lorraine Yurshansky on Vimeo. They make it seem like eating your keyboard is a bad thing. Ladies, I'm KIDDING. But seriously, I believe if some of the custard from your morning donut squeezes out onto your keyboard, there is no shame in licking it off. Just don't announce it to everybody- take it from someone who learned the hard way. Now I may be drinking the Kool Aid a little here (or a lot, I mean have you seen my hips?), but the more fake a food looks on TV the more appealing it becomes to my taste buds. So when it came to the spinach and cheese panini in this commercial, well let's just say hunting season was afoot and I shot those bad boys right through me. Translation: mama enjoyed. My only note is the advertised "grilled-to-perfection" in the microwave factor. My panini came out less grilled and more 100% soggy. Almost unappetizing, but after dipping it in my Diet Coke I barely noticed anymore. Post from: Crushable Am I Right Ladies? Lean Cuisine on Me |
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| Posted: Post from: Crushable |
Remember yesterday when I proposed 
Go get fitted for a bra. Oh my god, go get fitted for a bra. And no, Victoria's Secret is not an appropriate place to do this. Their sales associates are not properly trained and second, they only carry up to a DD (which, BTW, is secretly an E), so they won't tell you you're anything larger than that. Go to the fanciest department store you know of and find the oldest woman there. Tell her you need to get fitted. She'll feel you up (the good ones don't need measuring tape) and spit out a number that will be three cup sizes bigger than you thought you were. Accept it. That's what you are now. Another thing you need to accept: if you wear above an E cup, even remotely pretty bras will run you at least $60 a pop. Suck it up and deal (and/or obsessively look for sales). Once you get a bra that fits right, it will all be worth it. A good bra lifts, separates, and makes you look like you lost ten pounds.
Find a good tailor and make friends with him/her. I buy the biggest size I need and then take it to the tailor or buy a giant waist belt. Done. Button-down shirts particularly want tailoring: buy a size big enough to accommodate your chest without gaping at the buttons and then get the rest taken in.
I love single-subject blogs, so I was delighted when this 
In the age of the smart phone, we’ve all experienced the joys of autocorrect: that feature that in theory should be a wonderful spell-checking tool, and yet in practice does nothing but muck things up. At first, it’s funny. Then, it becomes annoying. Then, one day, it dawns on you: autocorrect is no mere drone. Oh no. It is actually a highly sophisticated piece of machinery that has become self-aware, and Autocorrect has only one goal: to take over the world. The good people of 
If you're anything like me, you only take dinners alone one way: frozen. And when it comes to learning how to cook for myself, well I never got farther than the start button on my microwave. But luckily I found my very own personal chef years ago. My first choice for the job was a stay-at-home hunk who always put extra cheese on my daily personal pizza, but Lean Cuisine fit the bill just fine. Cheap, easy and loaded with sodium – beat that, dream man. So color me heartbroken when I heard Lean Cuisine was recalling 10,000 Spaghetti Meatball entrée dinners due to possible hard, red plastic found in the food. Hey, I've swallowed worse in my day – amirightladies?| You are subscribed to email updates from Crushable To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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