Cele|bitchy

Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to perform at the Oscars: how funny will it be?
Michelle Williams in Chanel & other Oscars luncheon fashion picks
Bristol Palin, 20, to release memoir this summer
Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in first promo image: does she pull it off?
Helena Bonham Carter on her Oscar dress: “It’s probably going to be a catastrophe”
BFFs Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler talk about making quesadillas together
Nicole Kidman says Sunday Rose will choose her Oscar dress & it might be a tutu
Halle Berry on Nahla’s race: “I feel like she’s black, I believe in the one-drop theory”
Charlie Sheen is going back to work in two weeks
Tina Fey writes hilarious essay about working moms for The New Yorker

Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to perform at the Oscars: how funny will it be?

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 08:46 AM PST

Dame Goopy rises from the ashes like a sanctimonious phoenix and awaits her reward for thinking so highly of herself. The reward: Gwyneth has been invited to the Oscars. No, she wasn't nominated for acting, silly! Country Strong was simply too powerful a Britney Spears-esque exploration of being drunk and twangy to earn an acting nomination. And of course Dame Gwyneth would not deign to be a mere presenter. Of course not! Her dear friend Beyonce performed a "musical compilation" (that's what "the children" are calling it these days) at the Oscars, so Dame Gwyneth must follow in her best dear friend's footsteps. So yes, in addition to performing ("performing") at the Grammys, Dame Gwyneth has deigned to grace the Academy Awards stage to perform a song from Country Strong. The song? "Coming Home". Let's see if I can find that junk….

Oooh! Here it is:

Holy crap, IS SHE SINGING ABOUT A DOUBLE WIDE?!?! LMAO.

I can't even finish this junk, I'm laughing too hard. God bless Gwyneth.

Country Strong PR images from All Movie Photo.

Michelle Williams in Chanel & other Oscars luncheon fashion picks

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 08:18 AM PST

These are just a few more photos of the ladies from the Oscars luncheon yesterday - I've already covered Nicole Kidman, Natalie Portman and Helena Bonham Carter's fashion picks. First up: Best Actress nominee Michelle Williams, wearing a Chanel blouse and skirt. The outfit has kind of a mod flare, which suits Michelle, and it also seems little-girlish, which is a fashion flavor that Michelle favors. I would love Michelle to start wearing suits and more business like attire for these kinds of events, but she's not going to. Her vibe is "I'm a fragile little girl" and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Next: Amy Adams in Valentino. What's with all of the redheads in white lately? First Nicole Kidman, then Julianne Moore and now Amy. Amy probably wears white the best out of all of those redheads, but I still think she'd look better in a jewel tone.

Hailee Steinfeld, Best Supporting Actress nominee in Moschino Cheap and Chic. The front is fine, and completely age appropriate, but if you look at the back (go here), it's a reverse tuxedo. It's really fug.

Annette Bening in black (I don't know the designer). Pretty and simple.

Melissa Leo in "Staying Alive, Staying Alive, ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive…"

Jennifer Lawrence in Chloe. I like it - one of Jennifer's better fashion picks for the awards season. I get the feeling that Jennifer is simply too young to really know what looks good on her body, don't you?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Bristol Palin, 20, to release memoir this summer

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 08:16 AM PST

This news doesn’t seem surprising, but it still made me roll my eyes. Bristol Palin, mother, advocate for teen abstinence, highly paid (but controversial) speaker, and former Dancing with The Stars contestant, has penned a memoir at the ripe age of 20. As Radar Online points out, Justin Bieber has a memoir out and Palin has a whole four years on him. Radar forgot to mention what a true piece of crap Justin Bieber’s memoir is and how he has a nation of tweens eating out of the palm of his hand. Bristol has the (assumed) assistance of an arrogant ghost writer who makes pop culture references that only a 35 year-old can appreciate, so maybe her memoir will reflect a level of bitter maturity beyond her years.

Heck — if Justin Bieber can pen his memoir at the age of 16, why can’t Bristol Palin?

Bristol's still-untitled memoir — all 304 pages of it — will be hitting bookshelves June 21, the book’s publisher William Morrow & Co announced, RadarOnline.com has learned.

From her baby daddy drama with ex Levi Johnston to life as a Palin, the memoir should be an interesting read for fans of the 20-year-old Alaskan abstinence advocate.

Bristol follows in the footsteps of her mother Sarah with her foray into the publishing world, as Sarah’s penned best-selling books such as America by Heart and Going Rogue: An American Life.

[From Radar Online]

There’s goes my assumption that Bristol would keep her head down while she went to broadcasting school at Arizona State. She bought a house there and everything, but she’ll be all over the place this summer when the book comes out. Maybe she assumes she can promote her memoir this summer and then head off to school in the fall. At least she’s going to college. With the bank she’s pulling for capitalizing on her fame she easily could have skipped it.

Bristol is shown on 11/24/10. Credit: Fame Pictures

Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in first promo image: does she pull it off?

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 07:51 AM PST

This is the first promotional image of Meryl Streep in character as Britain's former prime minister, Margaret Thatcher. I had kind of forgotten that Meryl was doing this film, because I remember when the project was announced, there was a ton of controversy because: A) Meryl is American, B) Meryl's personal politics are quite different than the staunchly conservative prime minister's, C) Because Thatcher is quite sick these days, and the film reportedly will show some of that (I think it's dementia) and D) Thatcher's family is PISSED that this film is happening. But, whatever, it looks like the film is a go, and I have to say, Thatcher's family should at least be slightly relieved that an actress of Meryl's caliber is playing Thatcher. Meryl looks great, in my opinion. Meryl released a statement with the first promotional image:

“The prospect of exploring the swathe cut through history by this remarkable woman is a daunting and exciting challenge. I am trying to approach the role with as much zeal, fervour and attention to detail as the real Lady Thatcher possesses - I can only hope my stamina will begin to approach her own," says Streep.

[From Deadline]

See? Meryl is handling this with respect, I think, and people might be pleasantly surprised. Oh, and Jim Broadbent is playing Dennis Thatcher. The film is called The Iron Lady. Which… I don't know? I don't really like that title. I get that it was her nickname and everything, but it's just a "meh" title.

Promotional image courtesy of Deadline. Additional pics by WENN.

Helena Bonham Carter on her Oscar dress: “It’s probably going to be a catastrophe”

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 07:23 AM PST

These are photos of everybody's favorite whackadoodle Helena Boham Carter at the Oscar luncheon yesterday. She looks… almost normal. Everything matches, and she's even wearing pearls - which Vogue notes are the "Kailis Scarlet pearl strand" and "Kailis Cascade Rose Pearl earrings (they're from Australia). I even like the dress, although it might have been a bit more flattering if it was just a few inches longer, in my opinion. Anyway, HBC is one of the ladies to watch at the Oscars, not because everyone thinks she will look great, but because everyone can't wait to see how crazy she looks. HBC knows what's up too, and she's having fun with it.

Helena Bonham Carter has warned that her outfit for the Oscars this month “will probably be a catastrophe” - but vowed to at least wear shoes of the same color.

The actress, known for her exuberant clothes and hair - and wearing one red shoe and one green at the recent Golden Globes awards show - said her partner Tim Burton knew how difficult it is to guess what she was going to wear.

“I have no idea,” she said, when asked what she would wear for the February 27 Academy Awards. “Of course I want to have fun … It’s probably going to be a catastrophe. But it’s like, I’m gonna go for it. I’m so indecisive .. I promise I’ll wear the same colored shoes,” she added at a lunch for nominees vying to win an Oscar at the climax to the multi-billion dollar movie industry’s annual awards season. I can suddently I go off piste. But we’ll wait and see. And quite frankly, as my boyfriend knows, it’s right up to the last minute it can go wrong at any time .. It’s a mystery to me at this point."

Bonham Carter is among five nominees for best supporting actress for her role as King George VI’s wife - the late Queen Mother - in British historical drama “The King’s Speech,” which is frontrunner for a brace of Oscars. The actress, who was accompanied by her mother to the lunch, said preparing for the role had been difficult, because she only had three weeks to research after finishing on the latest Harry Potter movie.

“As we all know, the Queen Mother lived for such a long time, so every biography is at least five inches thick,” she said.

To save time she took a shortcut by talking to royal biographer Hugo Vickers, who “gave me the lowdown,” she said, adding: “And I was trying to get beneath the sort of public service that we all know. It’s difficult because I didn’t think particularly, ‘God, I’m a dead ringer to the Queen Mother.’ I thought well I’ve got to catch some kind of essence, but without being a patronizing impersonation. So it was a fine line … it was daunting."

[From The Telegraph]

I loved HBC's portrayal of the Queen Mum - I thought Helena brought a wonderful mix of humor, heart, grit and affection to the role, and the royal family should be thankful that King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, and their relationship, were handled with such respect. Speaking of, the reigning Queen Elizabeth (daughter of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother) screened The King's Speech privately, and producers say that Liz was "moved" by the film. Sweet.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

BFFs Jennifer Aniston and Chelsea Handler talk about making quesadillas together

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 06:58 AM PST

Jennifer Aniston was on her best buddy Chelsea Handler’s talkshow last night to promote her film with Adam Sandler, Just Go With It. We heard some advance details yesterday, particularly that Aniston brought out her 15 year-old dog, Norman, on stage in a little doggie suit. Aniston came across better than I expected, but she still stumbled over her words somewhat, as is typical for her. She seemed relatively sober, she cracked some ok jokes making fun of the tabloid stories about her and Chelsea, and she was really comfortable since she was with her best buddy instead of on a more formal talkshow that may have called for some liquid courage. It’s clear that she’s really tight with Chelsea from the dumb story they told about making quesadillas after they’d probably consumed a bunch of margaritas. It was one of those “you had to be there” stories that wasn’t funny at all. Chelsea also made sure to reference the fact that they were friends. Here’s some of what they said:

They joke about their tabloid stories
Chelsea: I appreciate [you coming on] because I’ve been reading in the press that you’ve been distancing yourself from me.
Aniston: Oh, that’s pretty much what any right-minded human being should be doing when they meet you, Chelse.

Jennifer hired one of Chelsea’s employees to shoot a commercial with her
Chelsea: You were very nice to hire Brad Wallach, one of my employees, in your Smart Water ads…
Jennifer: I ended up having to kick him in the balls all day because that is what they wrote. He had to wear whatdya call it, a crotch guard, because I had to kick him over and over again.
Chelsea: Brad was so excited that he was getting kicked in the balls by Jennifer Aniston.

A story about how they got drunk and made quesadillas
Chelsea: You’re a good cook. You make quesadillas and you make them with love.
Jennifer: Unlike yourself… By the time I pulled out the cheese I pulled out the tortillas, I got the pan salted up… I hear “ding ding,” she’s taken the quesadillas slapped some cheese velveeta, thrown it in the microwave, throws it up against the wall.
Chelsea: She goes “what kind of quesadilla is that?” I’m like “You don’t want my quesadilla?” then I just threw it right against the wall.

Chelsea again references their friendship
Chelsea: Let’s talk about the movie… This has nothing to do with my friendship with you. This movie’s hilariously funny. The thing I hate about you is that whenever you do a movie everyone talks about it like it’s your life. Like that character you’re playing is really you. That’s annoying because that doesn’t happen to every actress.

Jennifer: I know it doesn’t. A lot doesn’t. This one you can’t parallel this one.. no pretending wife, I’m not a pretending wife to anybody. I’m not a doctor… nor have I played one on TV, but I might have a pretend husband somewhere.

Then they talked about a scene from the movie where Jennifer and Adam Sandler were fixing a woman’s botched boob job. Jennifer said that Nicole Kidman was “so funny” and “fun” in the movie as a secretary, and added that Dave Matthews was in it and “hilarious. Come crash into me!”

It was a pretty quick interview and Aniston rolled with it. I’m still struck by how she has trouble figuring out what she’s trying to say at any given time, but she’s always been that way.

In terms of this movie, it looks like Aniston plays the same character she always does, which is why people have a hard time separating her from her roles. It does have Adam Sandler in it, so it could be a funny and successful movie despite Aniston’s involvement.

Jennifer Aniston is shown at the People’s Choice awards on 1/6/11. Credit: Fame. Chelsea Handler is shown looking shiny on 1/5/11. Credit: WENN.com

Nicole Kidman says Sunday Rose will choose her Oscar dress & it might be a tutu

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 06:37 AM PST

Here are some more photos of Nicole Kidman in YSL at the Oscars luncheon yesterday. I know many of you disagree with me (that's part of the fun of it!), but I still like the print and the color, and my main problem is with the fit and weird cut of the top. Anyway, Nicole has some new interviews today. The first one is just more of Nic's Marie Claire interview, which we covered last week. These quotes are new, though:

She’s celebrating her Oscar nomination for her role in Rabbit Hole now, but ten years ago, Nicole Kidman admits she was in a very bad place. Kidman opened up even more at the Cinema Vanguard Awards this past weekend about her painful 2001 split from ex-husband Tom Cruise. She recently told Marie Claire UK she was “really damaged” after the divorce.

At the time of the break up, Kidman, 43, was making the 2002 film The Hours. “I was so depressed…I did not want to do it,” recalled Kidman. She attempted to back out but the film’s producers wouldn’t let her. “So I had to show up in England and I think my inner turmoil was very much a part of the things that [my character] was going through as well.” Her pain paid off: She won a Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of author Virginia Wolff in the film.

Alluding to Cruise, 48, Kidman joked that she appreciates obsessiveness in directors, but “not necessarily in a husband.” Yet despite the couple’s split, Kidman did praise Cruise’s work ethic while filming Eyes Wide Shut.

“Poor Tom. He worked every single day on that film and that’s extraordinary…I remember him just not wanting to let Stanley down and just whatever it was going to take, it was going to take,” said Kidman.

Kidman’s now happily married to country music star Keith Urban, 43. She recalled hearing of her recent Oscar nod while at home with him and their two daughters, Sunday Rose, 2, and Faith, one-month old. “Suddenly they said my name and Keith was like ‘yeah!’ and jumping around the kitchen and Sunday was like, ‘wh-wh-what’s happening? Why are you crying?’ She goes, ‘why are we sad?’ and I said ‘no we’re not sad Sunday, we’re happy.’ So that will be my memory of this nomination: My daughter and my husband jumping around the kitchen."

[From Us Weekly]

Ugh, Eyes Wide Shut. That turd of a movie. I remember the gossip that Kubrick needed to hire some kind of sex therapist for Nicole and Tom for their "love scene". And I do remember those scenes being extremely awkward, although I do give Tom credit for befriending Kubrick and working with Steven Spielberg to carry on Kubrick's legacy. Whatever.

At the luncheon, Nicole also told reporters that her daughter Sunday is going to be picking out her Oscar dress: "Sunday Rose has a pretty strong opinion, and she chooses what she calls ‘pretty dresses.’ She has a strong voice in what I'll be wearing on the night of the Oscars. Fingers crossed, I could be wearing a tutu.” Oh, God. Nicole, no pink, for the love of God. Wear something gorgeous and epic and bright. Stop with the frills and the pastels.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Halle Berry on Nahla’s race: “I feel like she’s black, I believe in the one-drop theory”

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 06:15 AM PST

Halle Berry is the March cover lady for Ebony Magazine, in what I'm assuming was a photo shoot and interview done before the current custody battle exploded. That being said, Halle does make reference to a few things that have come up in the back-and-forth in the media, notably that Halle considers her mixed race daughter black. She tells the magazine:

"I feel like she's black. I'm black and I'm her mother and I believe in the one-drop theory. I'm not going to put a label on it. I had to decide for myself and that's what she's going to have to decide – how she identifies herself in the world. And I think, largely, that will be based on how the world identifies her. That's how I identified myself. But I feel like she's black."

[From Ebony via In the Basement]

Eh. I know a lot of you are going to fight about it, and that's okay, I guess. I'm mixed race - I'm half-white, half-Indian - and I've always felt that mixed-race people can self-identify however they want. I identify myself as mixed race, at times feeling more Indian or Asian, and at times feeling more like a Southern white girl. It depends, but no matter what Halle says, Nahla will make the decision for herself as to how she identifies when she gets older. TMZ has another story claiming that Gabriel Aubry would "go nuts" if someone suggested that Nahla was black - according to sources, Gabriel "insists" that Nahla is white. I have to say, I think in this particular insistence, it's less about race and more about Halle attempting to negate Gabriel's biological contributions, you know? Gabe is white - when Halle insists that Nahla is black, it's like Halle is cutting Gabe out.

Here are more excerpts from Radar:

Halle Berry put aside her bitter custody battle with baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry, as she gushed about the wonders of motherhood in the March issue of EBONY Magazine, RadarOnline.com has learned.

“Being a mother is probably the most important thing in my life right now,” Halle, 44, revealed in an interview with EBONY Editor-in-Chief Amy DuBois Barnett, when asked what motivates her to continually challenge herself in every aspect of her life.

“Career is important, but nothing really supersedes my roles as a mother. That’s the most important thing I’m going to do in this life at this point,” said the Monster’s Ball actress.

Halle and Gabriel are currently embroiled in a heated custody battle over their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Nahla. As RadarOnline.com exclusively reported the relationship between the ex-couple has deteriorated so much over the past week that they are no longer even on speaking terms.

“If Gabriel needs to find out anything about Nahla he goes through the nanny now,” a source told RadarOnline.com. “He and Halle are no longer speaking directly to each other.

“There were still talking, albeit limitedly, up until a week or so ago, but now - nothing.”

The source added Gabriel is concerned that Halle will request that all his visits with their daughter be supervised after various reports have claimed that Aubrey used the ‘N’ word in describing Halle. One source close to Aubrey strongly denies that.

The March issue of EBONY Magazine will be released nationwide February 8.

[From Radar]

In the Ebony piece (which I'm now convinced will be one of Ebony's best-selling issues), Halle also talks about dating - specifically, dating white men: "Well, first thing I want to say is that I'm very connected to my community and I want black people to know that I haven't abandoned them because I've had a child with a man outside of my race and I'm dating someone now outside of my race who is Spanish and French…I have never been more clear about who I am as a black woman. The people I have dated sort of hold up a mirror to me and help me realize more of who I really am." Wait… what? So dating white dudes has made her even more "clear" about being black? Sure.

Ebony cover courtesy of I Am Flashdance, additional pics by Fame.

Charlie Sheen is going back to work in two weeks

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 06:15 AM PST

America’s favorite cockroach with his cock out, Charlie Sheen, is heading back to the set of Two and a Half Men in just two weeks, according to his hardworking lawyer. We heard this was happening, but there was still the glimmer of hope that Charlie and his many enablers would get the message that an extended stint in rehab was necessary to recover from the scandal of hiring 19 year-old hookers from the “Barely Legal” porn series to hold drug fueled orgies. In Charlie’s case people expect him to be even worse than the character he plays on TV and somehow he’s gotten a pass. The guy did “at home” (read: nonexistent, keep your head down and hire more discreet prostitutes and drug dealers) rehab and he’s going back to work very soon.

The actor’s attorney, Yale Galanter, exclusively reveals to E! News that the actor will be returning to the set of Two and a Half Men before the end of the month.

“We are thinking Charlie will be going back to work two weeks from today,” he said.

Galanter refused to comment on Sheen’s current rehab whereabouts, but he did say, “Charlie is fine healthwise and doing really well. Things are looking good. Everybody’s intentions are to get him back in the swing of things as soon as possible.

And despite recent troubles, Sheen’s family is sticking by him.

“They are a very close-knit family,” Galanter tells E! News. “Charlie has seen all of his kids since he was in the hospital. He is even spending time with the boys today.”

[From E! nline]

I hope “seen all his kids” and “spending time with the boys” means while they’re accompanied by their eagle-eyed mothers. Both Brooke Mueller and Denise Richards have been incredibly quiet during this whole scandal, with Denise simply tweeting that she wouldn’t let an adult film star watch her kids. Charlie pays his ex wives a lot of money to keep his secrets, although the people he pays to f*ck him and sell him drugs don’t give him the same courtesy.

Tina Fey writes hilarious essay about working moms for The New Yorker

Posted: 08 Feb 2011 06:14 AM PST

Tina Fey has written an essay called "Confessions of a Juggler" in the new issue of The New Yorker (the one with the Scientology article, I think), all about by a working mom who juggles. Now, I unapologetically love Tina Fey - she's amazingly talented, a wonderful writer and comedic actress, and I love when Tina "gets real". I love when she just says the truth in her own funny little way, which is what she did in this essay. The New Yorker has this brief snippet of her piece:

ABSTRACT: PERSONAL HISTORY about the writer's dilemmas as a working mother. The writer's daughter recently checked out a book from the preschool library called "My Working Mom," which depicted a witch mother who was very busy and had to fly away to a lot of meetings. The two men who wrote this book probably had the best intentions, but the topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield.

What is the rudest question you can ask a woman? "How old are you?' "What do you weigh?" No, the worst question is: "How do you juggle it all?"

The second-worst question is: "Are you going to have more kids?" Science show that fertility and movie offers drop off steeply for women after forty. The baby-versus-work life questions keep the writer up at night. She has observed that women, at least in comedy, are labeled "crazy" after a certain age. The writer has the suspicion that the definition of "crazy" in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f-ck her anymore.

The fastest remedy for this "women are crazy" situation is for more women to become producers and hire diverse women of various ages. That is why the writer feels obligated to stay in the business, and that is why she can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless she does, in which case that is nobody's business. Does the writer want to have another baby? Or does she just want to turn back time and have her daughter be a baby again?

That night, as she was putting the witch book in her daughter's backpack to be returned to school, the writer asked her, "Did you pick this book because your mommy works? Did it make you feel better about it?" Her daughter looked at her matter-of-factly and said, "Mommy, I can't read. I thought it was a Halloween book."

[From "Confessions of a Juggler," The New Yorker]

Tina also writes that "It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam. . . than it is to speak honestly about [working moms].” She also jokes about being asked about her juggling act by nosy people, writing, "Sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I've poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away. There's another great movie idea! Baby Versus Work: A hard-working baby looking for love (Kate Hudson) falls for a handsome pile of papers (Hugh Grant). I would play the ghost of a Victorian poetess who anachronistically tells Kate to ‘go for it.’”

Tina's book - part memoir, part comedic essay collection (I think) - called Bossypants comes out in April. You can preorder it now!