Sunday, January 15, 2012

Crushable

Crushable


Lifetime’s Sexting In Suburbia: The Highlights Reel

Posted: 15 Jan 2012 10:38 AM PST

There are three kinds of Lifetime movies: uplifting, scary, and horribly depressing. Sexting in Suburbia, for all it’s attempts to end on a positive note was incredibly sad. Opening with a mother coming home to find her teenage daughter has hung herself doesn’t normally lead to an upbeat film, but it seemed with every detail that came out about the teen’s final months the story got sadder and sadder. It’s definitely destined to enter the canon of middle school health class films. Check out our highlight reel for all the gut wrenching moments you missed.

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Sunday Cute: A Different Kind Of Sled Dog

Posted: 15 Jan 2012 09:44 AM PST

I’m not sure what this dog’s motive is for being so hell bent on stealing sleds. Jealously of the humans’ winter fun? Maybe a lack of chew toys? Whatever the reason the end result is a blueprint to end childhood obesity. Replace dodge ball and rope climbing in gym class with a hill, some sleds, and this dog that might be morally opposed to sledding, and the kids will burn off all the junk food they can eat. Just look at them run!

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Daniel Radcliffe Was Best As A Dog On SNL

Posted: 15 Jan 2012 09:15 AM PST

Daniel Radcliffe was great as the host of SNL last night, not because he’s revealed he’s a comedic genius, but because he seemed so enthusiastic and committed in every skit. He really shined as Casey Anthony’s dog, not in small part because they let him drop the American accent he was saddled with for most of the other sketches, and they threw him one of their best Harry Potter themed sketches yet. The opening monologue, while funny (Dumbledore working at Harry Potter-y Barn!) might mean Daniel is in for some hate mail. You don’t insult adult Harry Potter fans even in jest. Here are some of his best SNL moments.

You knew they had to work in at least one Harry Potter sketch. Harry as a magical version of the Matthew McConaughey Dazed and Confused creeper is awesome. A Hagrid penis joke is uncalled for.

They really didn’t have to write anything for this concept, just put Daniel behind the desk dressed not just as a yorkie, but a yorkie with a bow. This sketch also marks the second Sarah McLachlan PETA dig of the night. Is she in a fight with one of the writers?

This sketch is funny because of the accuracy of the premise (“twitter famous meaning not really famous”), but it’s amazing because it turns Daniel Radcliffe into a real live leprechaun.

I’ll admit this skit got a little clunky, but at least now we know in a hundred years we can curl up with our pet wolverine and watch the news report about Taylor Swift’s unspeakable crimes.

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Did Lana Del Rey Tank On Saturday Night Live?

Posted: 15 Jan 2012 10:32 AM PST

Last night musical darling/critical lightning rod Lana Del Rey performed on Saturday Night Live. It was only the second time that an artist got a booking in that coveted spot before releasing a single studio album. (The first was Natalie Imbruglia.) Unfortunately for her, it was not her best performance.

Lana is from New York, and her harshest critics might be here. After a successful tour of European clubs and television shows, a performance at The Bowery Ballroom this fall was panned. Lana claimed she had technical difficulties at that show, and the Saturday Night Live stage is known to be a difficult performance venue as well.

Last night, Lana put forth a minimalist performance, standing in front of her band in a floor length white gown. She looked great, but  almost before she began knives were being thrown her way on Twitter.

And it looks like Lana’s nerves got the best of her during her performance of “Video Games.”

For her second set, she played “Blue Jean.”

Things got better in her second performance, but Lana definitely exhibited some awkward performance tics that viewers don’t tolerate in a primetime performance like SNL. And her showing definitely cemented the opinion a lot of critics had that Lana is a manufactured talent sprung from the minds of studio executives. Even actress Juliette Lewis allegedly got in on the trashing, supposedly writing the following tweet (though it’s no longer in her feed):

"Wow watching this 'singer' on SNL is like watching a 12 yearold [sic] in their bedroom when theyre pretending to sing and perform #signofourtimes."

Of course, Lana always looks amazing, and there were plenty of people who enjoyed watching her on the show. But on Twitter, they were severely outweighed by the haters.

The real question is whether the performance will effect sales of her album that’s set to be released January 31st.

On the next page, I’ve included some video of Lana performing at different venues, for those of you who saw her for the first time on Saturday Night Live.

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Mena Suvari Is Getting A Divorce

Posted: 14 Jan 2012 03:14 PM PST

Mena Suvari is splitting with her husband Simone Sestito after a year and a half, proving whatever steps you take to ensure death will be what parts you, your marriage can still fail.

Mena, who specializes in patriotically titled movies (American Pie and American Beauty) married Simone Sestito, a concert promoter, in Vatican City. You’d think exchanging vows that close to the pope would make them extra strong.

The pair also had a long engagement, stretching over eighteen months. Mena is the one who filed for divorce, and the reason sited for the split in the divorce papers is irreconcilable difference, as usual. It’s such a legal catch all, and just once I wish they’d get a little more specific about the differences they just couldn’t get over. Did one think the latest Lady Gaga CD was her best yet and the other couldn’t believe they overlooked the greatness of The Fame? Did one use the other’s toothbrush one too many times?

At least Mena will have promotion for American Reunion coming up to distract her.

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Disney Channel’s Frenemies : Highlight Reel

Posted: 14 Jan 2012 12:45 PM PST

 

Last night the Disney Channel original movie Frenemies premiered. Actually three mini movies strung together it has new friendships, best friendships, inter-species friendships, and polo. The highlight reel will get you up to speed on the plot if you missed it, as well as tackling the bigger questions the film brought up for those who were watching the premiere, like can you have multiple secret boyfriends in the age of Facebook?

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