Friday, January 27, 2012

Crushable

Crushable

Poll: Do You Think The Banned Shame Poster Is Too Graphic?

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 11:04 AM PST

banned Hungarian Shame poster semen

Most of Shame‘s ad campaign has been posters of star Michael Fassbender lying in bed wallowing in quiet anguish; subtler variations just show the crumpled sheets after an illicit hook-up. But you’ve got to give kudos to Fox Searchlight for upping the ante on this international poster. It’s sort of NSFW, but you’ve already seen it and your eyes haven’t burned out, right?

Well, here’s a surprise: Hungary has banned the poster. At least, it’s a surprise to me; I’ve always assumed that Europe has a much healthier attitude toward sex than prudish America. Yes, it’s fairly graphic — that’s Brandon’s semen on some anonymous girl’s back — but it also encapsulate’s the movie’s dark narrative better than the rumpled bedsheets do. Because here’s the actual evidence of Brandon’s addiction.

I’m not saying that it should be hung up at cinemas that play kids’ movies, but I didn’t think the country would wholeheartedly ban it, either.

[Anomalous Material via BuzzFeed]

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Meme Alert: People With Lana Del Rey Lips

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 10:45 AM PST

Love her or hate her, the most recognizable feature of Vegas-bound internet meme Lana Del Rey is those overstuffed lips of hers. But how would said lips look on someone else? Even more ridiculous, of course. The aptly titled blog People With Lana Del Rey Lips is dedicated to Photoshopping her wonky kisser onto people like George Clooney, Justin Bieber, and even the President, with sexy results. Here are some of my favorites.

(Via Idolator)

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Video: Ferris Bueller Is All Grown Up

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 10:30 AM PST

The commercials that run during the Super Bowl have become as much a spectacle as the game, and they often get more talked about then the half time show. They’re re-run and discussed on morning talk shows, circulated on Youtube and Facebook for weeks after they air, and now they’re getting pre-game hype and teaser trailers, which is how we know some very misguided company is going to give the world a middle aged Ferris Bueller.

There are some characters from movies, TV shows, and books that are interesting to glimpse in later years. Watching the Rugrats as pre-teens was fun, and seeing the Harry Potter kids have kids seemed like a fitting end to the series. Then there are characters that need to be frozen in time, forever a certain age. This is slightly difficult when the actor ages, but not impossible. Macaulay Culkin might be a tall thirty-something who’s into playing drug addicts, but Kevin McCallister will always be a precocious little kid fighting bad guys with Christmas spirit and blow torches. And while Matthew Broderick has become a sad eyed forty-something, Ferris had up until now remained a bad-ass eighteen-year-old.

Ferris Bueller is the epitome of the cool teenager. Sure, you might discuss what kind of awesome job a forty-year-old Ferris might have as the credits role, but in truth he’d probably end up one of the ring-leaders of the last big ponzi scheme, running through houses and jumping on trampolines to get back into bed before Sloane gets home with the kids, not wanting her to know he was hanging out at the high school pretending to be a very distinguished looking junior. I don’t want to see that.

While the backer of this Bueller circa 2012 ad isn’t revealed in the clip, there’s speculation Honda created the commercial, so they’re the ones that can do something about it. So hipsters, break out your Save Ferris T-shirts and gather around some Accords. They can age Duckie, Jake Ryan, or even The Geek, but they need to leave Ferris alone.

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Video: Incredibly Offensive Anti-Obama Ad Depicts Him As Captain Of A Slave Ship

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 09:25 AM PST

Florida Congressional candidate Mark Oxner has produced an anti-Obama campaign ad that will probably go down in history as one of the stupidest and most offensive of all time. It depicts the President as captain of a slave ship powered by children. That’s right, a slave ship. As in, the kind of ship that brought a bunch of Africans to America against their will, at devastating cost to human rights and the future of our national conscience. As in, maybe not the best way for a white guy to go after a black guy.

Beyond the offensive metaphor, the ad doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. “I got free healthcare for life,” crows one gleeful woman, as if a.) Obama has actually provided this, and b.) not having to die because you’re too poor to afford insurance is a bad, undesirable thing. “My bank was bailed out by this ship,” said another guy, as if Republicans hate banks and do not want to help them at all. Right after that, there’s a shot of a scary OWS protestor in a Guy Fawkes mask. “Don’t you care about the banks? Don’t you care about the 99%?” Obama’s parrot Alan Grayson (the guy Oxner’s running against) says. Does Mark Oxner realize these two concepts are diametrically opposed?

But going back to the slave ship metaphor…what in the fucking fuck. I would like to know which genius campaign managers sat around at a meeting bouncing ideas off each other until they decided a slave ship was the very best metaphor they could think of. What lost out to the slave ship? Obama as the owner of a cotton plantation? It seems to me like they are subtly daring opponents to call the ad out as racist, or at the least horribly insensitive, at which point they will accuse progressives of reverse racism for daring to say something about it. Or maybe they’re just really, really dumb. Who knows?

For added fun, check out the Oxner campaign getting super defensive in the comments on Youtube.

(Via Youtube)

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Father Of Amy Winehouse Finds Her Tribute At Fashion Show ‘In Bad Taste’

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 09:26 AM PST

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Crushable Presents: Your Very Own Deadly Liam Neeson Paper Doll

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 09:05 AM PST

Liam Neeson paper doll The Grey glass knuckles

In his new movie The Grey, Liam Neeson is the leader of a group of men stranded in Alaska after a plane crash. They have to keep their wits about them while suffering from cold, fear, and a pack of angry wolves stalking them. But the part from the preview that has everyone talking is when Liam breaks a bunch of airplane vodka bottles and makes his own glass knuckles to take on the wolves.

That’s right—Neeson is just that badass. Inspired by this particularly ingenuous move, we’ve created a Liam Neeson paper doll just for you. (Also check out our past projects: Kate Middleton, Robert Pattinson, and naked Scarlett Johansson.) But instead of new outfits, Liam comes with a bevy of regular, seemingly harmless household items. Except in this guy’s hands, they’re the perfect weapons.

In The Bourne Identity, Matt Damon relied on a rolled-up magazine as his only defense; Liam Neeson has a spork for a shiv, cheese grater as a torture device, and a homemade garrote via iPod headphones. (The Kindle is for catching up on his subscription to The Economist… and then cracking over a kidnapper’s head while shouting, “Where’s my daughter?”)

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Watch 30 Rock‘s Fake Trailer For The Martin Luther King Day Movie

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 08:54 AM PST

Emma Stone and Andy Samberg in 30 Rock's Martin Luther King Day movie

A few weeks ago, word leaked that Emma Stone and Andy Samberg had joined the cast for a Martin Luther King Day movie in the vein of sappy ensemble romantic comedies like Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve. However, we quickly learned that it was actually a gag from an upcoming episode of 30 Rock.

Then last night, the fake trailer kind of came and went. It was definitely funny, but it took up less than a minute of airtime. I think that we all on the internet just got way psyched about this parody and built it up to be more than it was. Still, you have to admire Emma and Andy — excuse me, “Andrew Samberg” — for playing up the lovelorn platonic coworkers.

And Nick Cannon‘s line “Sounds like… you have a dream” is delivered perfectly. So, enjoy the trailer for an ensemble movie that could be ironically funny.

That said, my favorite will still be the fake movie from Friends with Benefits, starring Jason Segel and Rashida Jones as a couple prone to such unintelligible lines as “Looks like New York’s all out of blueberries.”

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Mary-Louise Parker To Replace Demi Moore As Gloria Steinem In Lovelace

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 08:19 AM PST

Following her hospitalization for “exhaustion,” Demi Moore has reportedly been replaced in the role of feminist leader Gloria Steinem in 70s porn biopic Lovelace by fellow ageless beauty Mary Louise Parker.

According to Us Weekly, the film was left looking for a new Gloria Steinem after Moore dropped out earlier this week, and Parker fit the bill. I know it’s hard to keep the two bipoics straight, so I’ll remind you that this is the one that stars Amanda Seyfried as the troubled porn star and never tarnished its name by casting Lindsay Lohan. Gloria Steinem will not play a major part in the film, but is an important (and largely beloved) historical figure whom I imagine most actresses would be excited to play.

My first thought on hearing this news, as well as the previous news Moore would play her, was to be annoyed that someone so glamorous was being tapped for this part. Not only that, but Parker has made a name for herself on Weeds playing a selfish character with little political consciousness who gladly engages in gender normative behavior to get what she wants. But a closer look shows that Parker does bear a passing resemblance to Steinem, and you pretty much have to be glamorous to be a Hollywood actress, so there’s not much to be done about that. It’s also kind of weird that only actresses 10+ years older than Steinem was when Deepthroat came out are being cast in the role, but the 47-year-old Parker could probably pass for 38. I guess they’re accounting for the difference in aging between a regular person, and an actress who devotes lots of time and money to looking as young as possible for as long as possible.

(Via Us Weekly)

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Cutegreggator: A (Cute) Conspiracy Of Lemurs

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 06:37 AM PST

conspiracy of lemurs

Yesterday we learned that a group of lemurs is called a conspiracy. A conspiracy of lemurs! For some reason, that just sounds hilarious. But if you Google Image Search that, you come up with some pretty terrifying, orange-eyed devils who look like they’d sneak under your car at a gas station and cut your ankles out from under you. So… we’re going with cute lemurs today. Happy Friday!

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Crush Links: Angelina Jolie Headed To Rehab?

Posted: 27 Jan 2012 06:34 AM PST

• Angelina Jolie pregnant and headed to rehab? (Celeb Dirty Laundry)

• Eva Mendes great body from hard work. (Have U Heard)

• Oprah to be Baby Blue’s god mother. (Celebuzz)

• Ashton speaks out about Demi’s hospitalization. (Celeb Dirty Laundry)

• Teen Mom 2, Leah Messer is a good mom. (The Stir)

• A proclamation without Blair Waldorf. (Lainey Gossip)

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