Cele|bitchy

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• Russell Brand & Katy Perry are officially divorced: any takers?
• Breaking Bad season premiere: “yo, what about a magnet?”
• Uma Thurman & Arpad Busson welcomed a baby girl on Sunday
• Did Blake Lively piss off Karl Lagerfeld when she signed on to Gucci?
• Kate Upton responds to unhinged, pro-ana criticisms that she’s “fat” and “lardy”
• Katie Holmes is being publicly urged to adopt a rescue dog from a shelter
• Michael Lohan probably impregnated his domestic violence victim Kate Major
• Hugh Jackman shirtless on the beach: wet, beefy and bearded: would you hit it?
• Lindsay Lohan crack-lied about her Porsche’s brakes failing, shock
• Ryan Gosling, Michael Fassbender are ‘favorite’ choices for lead in ’50 Shades’

Russell Brand & Katy Perry are officially divorced: any takers? Posted: 16 Jul 2012 08:41 AM PDT Out of all the telling photos of Katy Perry and Russell Brand’s relationship, I have to admit that this one, taken in November 2011, is one of my favorites. This was the romantic bike ride that wasn’t, and now Russell has moved on to enjoying subsequent bike rides with the butts of random brunettes. Not that Russell is alone for moving on so soon, for Katy is allegedly already shacking up with Robert Ackroyd of Florence + the Machine. Good news though! Now Katy and Russell are officially divorced. Anyone want to get in line for a quick shag? Katy Perry and Russell Brand are officially no longer a part of each other. E! News has confirmed that the “Part of Me” singer’s marriage to the British funnyman came to a hard, court-sanctioned end Monday, closing the book on one of showbiz’s oddest couples whose 14-month union seemed to end as quickly as it began. The couple reached an agreement about their divorce back in February but, per California law, had to wait for six months for the union to be officially dissolved. The duo married on Oct. 23, 2010, but Brand filed for divorce the following December, citing irreconcilable differences. And although they officially became single today, that hasn’t stopped either from jumping back into the dating pool: Back in March, Perry burned up the Paris party scene with hottie French model Baptiste Giabiconi and then, just a month later, was spotted packing on the PDA with Florence + the Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd at Coachella. Brand, meanwhile, was linked to Hungarian model Nikolett Barabas in March. That doesn’t mean there isn’t some remorse, though: In May, the funnyman confessed to Ellen DeGeneres his affection for his ex, saying, “I still love her as a human being” and added that he’s only got “love and positivity for her.” Still, don’t start busting out the Kleenex: Perry and Brand have been keeping plenty busy these days to mope over anything. [From E! Online] The couple was married for just fourteen months, and the divorce took six months to finalize, which perhaps reinforces the fact that both of them leapt into a presumably serious relationship without thinking. Oh well — they wouldn’t be the first ones to do so, and they won’t be the last. Meanwhile, Russell is preparing to perform at the Olympic closing ceremony in London. He’ll be singing Beatles and Sex Pistols tunes with comedy duo French and Saunders, and then afterward, Russell will probably go shag a few hundred athletes in the Olympic village. Those who perform are supposed to represent the “Best of London,” but we’ll see about that. As for Katy, her stylist (Johnny Wujek) has given a recent interview about how she loves to walk around nude backstage and doesn’t care who sees it. At the same time, Katy’s insurers have put the kibosh on her trademark spinning peppermint bra because her hair wigs keep becoming entangled in the wheels. Such problems. So what’s the over/under on whether Katy or Russell will remarry first? Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet

Breaking Bad season premiere: “yo, what about a magnet?” Posted: 16 Jul 2012 08:40 AM PDT Spoilers for previously aired episods of Breaking Bad follow The first episode of the bittersweet last season of Breaking Bad premiered last night and it was epic. I didn’t realize how much I really missed this show and these characters until they came back and reminded me. In this episode, we got to see Walt and Jesse struggling to pick up the pieces, and cover their asses, after Walt’s assassination of their boss, Gus Fring. We also saw how loyal Jesse is toward Walt, a loyalty based on a supreme lie that we now know their lawyer, Saul, was in on. (We didn’t know that until now, did we?) Here’s a recap from CBS, which is good overview of what happened but it doesn’t really capture how excellent this episode was. I doubt words can. There were a lot of brilliant lines and darkly humorous moments. My favorite was when Mike and Walt were arguing about blowing up the evidence room by planting an incendiary device and Jesse was in the background trying to convince them to use a magnet to erase the laptop’s hard drive remotely, which they ultimately did. The episode, titled “Live Free or Die,” mainly focused on the aftermath of last season’s explosive finale, but first we see chemistry-teacher-turned-meth-dealer Walter White (Bryan Cranston) having some breakfast. (Warning: Spoilers ahead.) When the episode begins Walt is sitting at a Denny’s, where he just ordered bacon and eggs. He arranges the bacon into a “52″ on his plate, and tells the waitress it’s his birthday. He also shows her a fake ID and tells her he’s from New Hampshire. (Something to note: “Live Free or Die” is the state’s motto.) Another man enters the restaurant and both head into the bathroom. There, Walt passes him an envelope and then man gives him a set of car keys. In the parking lot, Walt opens a car with a New Hampshire license plate and grabs a gym bag. He then opens the trunk of another car in the same parking lot, which has a machine gun inside. He places the gym bag inside and the show cuts to commercial. The scene is likely a flash-forward, which means Mr. White will stay alive – for now, at least. Back in the present, Walt needs to destroy evidence that links him, Jesse (Aaron Paul) and fixer Mike (Jonathan Banks) to Gus Fring (Giancarlo Esposito), the fast-food mogul/drug kingpin he killed at the end of last season. He remembers that Gus had cameras set up in the meth lab and needs to get rid of that surveillance footage. Mike tells Walt that the footage all went to a laptop that was in Gus’ office – a laptop that is now in police custody. But that doesn’t stop Walt, who uses his science background to figure out a brilliant way to destroy the computer without stepping foot inside the police station – a super-powerful magnet. Walt gets a giant magnet and sets it up in the back of a van, which they pull up alongside the station. It works – first a tricycle starts moving, and soon the laptop is in a pile of damaged evidence. When Mike asks if they can be sure the magnet scrambled the laptop, Walter responds coldly, “Because I said so.” If last season’s finale didn’t cement it, this does – we’re dealing with a different kind of Walter White now. Walt’s wife, Skyler (Anna Gunn), meanwhile, is terrified of him. When she asks about Gus’ death, which is all over the Albuquerque news, he tells her, “It’s over. We’re safe. I won.” But she doesn’t feel safe at all – she now knows he’s not just a drug dealer, but a murderer too. At the end of the episode, he comes back to the house and forgives her for lending her former boss/lover Ted money, letting her off the hook for taking his funds, but also, chillingly, letting her know that she’s stuck with him. One other thing to note: As officers were going through the items destroyed in the evidence, room, they noticed something hidden behind a smashed picture frame from Gus’ office – a handwritten note in the corner that says “Bancsuisse Cayman” above what looks like a routing number. [From CBS] Walt is in control now, and we saw him assert that in the car with Mike, when he said that Mike would have to trust him that nothing in the magnet truck would be traceable. We also saw it come out big time when he got all up in Saul’s face and told him that their relationship wasn’t over until he said it was over. In that scene, Walt had one of my favorite lines. “You took it upon yourself to give away $622,000 of my money to a man who had been sleeping with my wife.” Later, Walt goes up to his wife Skyler and tells her he forgives her, presumably for having an affair. We all know that she’s not the one who needs forgiving. So what was future Walt running from at the beginning of the episode? And will the money ultimately lead back to Walt and Jesse? Is Walt’s cancer going to get him before the feds do? I’m so excited, but I know it’s going to go fast. This season is airing in two parts, with eight episodes this year and eight episodes next year. We’ll have to savor it. Photo credit: AMC TV

Uma Thurman & Arpad Busson welcomed a baby girl on Sunday Posted: 16 Jul 2012 08:26 AM PDT Uma Thurman has given birth! Uma and her baby-daddy/boyfriend Arpad Busson welcomed a baby girl yesterday in New York (I think it was NYC). They haven't released a name yet. The little girl joins her half-siblings Maya (13) and Levon (10), the two children Uma had with Ethan Hawke. I'm predicting a relatively normal name for this little girl… something kind of boho, but not crazy. Like Summer Arabella Busson or something. Uma’s a mama again! Uma Thurman gave birth to a baby girl on Sunday, a source confirms exclusively to Us Weekly. No other info was immediately available. It’s the the third child for the 42-year-old Oscar nominee, who has two children — Maya, 13, and Levon, 10 — with ex-husband Ethan Hawke, and her first with financier beau Arpad Busson. The Smash guest star and Busson, 49, called off their engagement in 2009, but reunited last year. “Uma was definitely not planning on having another kid. It was a surprise,” a source told Us, which first broke new of Thurman’s pregnancy back in February. “But she’s over the moon about it, very excited.” Thurman and her daughter-to-be were feted at a small baby shower in NYC May 31 thrown by her half-sister Taya Thurman. Among the two-dozen guests at the baby pink-elephant themed bash were Thurman’s Smash costars Debra Messing and Will Chase. Thurman’s ex-husband Hawke has also become a parent again following their 2004 divorce; the actor, 41, and second wife Ryan are parents to young daughters Clementine, 3, and Indiana, 11 months. [From Us Weekly] Congrats to the happy family! Hopefully they're happy about it, because I really do think this pregnancy was a complete surprise. Uma announced her pregnancy earlier this year, after there were some suspicious blind items that may or may not have been about Uma's early pregnancy-partying. Uma was also photographed with a wine glass full of some light liquid back in March, when she was on vacation in St. Bart's with Arpad and her kids. Hopefully, the baby girl is perfectly healthy and we'll find out the name soon enough. Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Did Blake Lively piss off Karl Lagerfeld when she signed on to Gucci? Posted: 16 Jul 2012 07:59 AM PDT Last year, Blake Lively became the face of Chanel's handbag line. It was said that Blake was hand-chosen by Karl Lagerfeld, acting on advice from Anna Wintour – Wintour is a big fan of Blake's Mall Girl aesthetic, and Blake has already scored two Vogue Magazine covers. Karl Lagerfeld photographed the ads himself, and the end result was… not all that exciting. The images weren't bad or anything, they were just kind of boring. Blake said in a magazine interview that getting the Chanel contract was a dream come true, and that she had turned down other modeling offers because she was holding out for Chanel. When she finally did get the contract and everyone saw the boring ads, SOME critics were like, "Eh, why did Karl Lagerfeld choose a Mall Girl to represent Chanel? DOWNMARKET." Still, the ads ran and most people just kind of ignored them. Blake was "the face" of Chanel's handbags for a year, and I haven't seen any new Chanel ads with Blake this year…? I kind of suspected that Blake's contract had run out and she was simply not asked back, which freed her up to become the face of Gucci's new perfume, Premiere. I coverd her Gucci ad earlier this month – it was pretty boring too. Blake is simply a boring model, in my opinion – she's pretty, she's got a wholesome, slightly budget Mall Girl vibe, and I'm simply not buying her as "the face" of a major brand. But here's the thing – rumors are flying that Blake has pissed off Karl and the House of Chanel! But why? Reports have swirled of a rift between Chanel and Blake Lively, who's an ambassador for the fashion house and appeared in ads for its Mademoiselle handbag last year. But she skipped Chanel's couture show in Paris last month and then announced a deal to be a spokeswoman for Gucci fragrance Première, which will go on sale in September. She then wore a gorgeous yellow Gucci gown to the New York premiere of her film "Savages." This all led some to believe there was friction with Chanel. But sources say all is fine. "Blake is still an ambassador to Chanel and regularly keeps in touch with designer Karl Lagerfeld. She was invited to the couture show but couldn't make it because she was promoting 'Savages.' She still wears Chanel whenever she can." Lively, who famously doesn't have a stylist, has publicly proclaimed her love of the Parisian house, telling reporters at the time of her Mademoiselle campaign announcement: "I had other opportunities, and I would say, 'Thank you so much, but I am holding out for Chanel . . . That's who I want to be the face of.' And people would say, 'Well, that's unrealistic. They only hire Europeans,' and I said, 'Well, how great. I'll be the first then.' " A rep for Chanel did not get back to us. [From Page Six] I would love it if Karl and Blake (and Anna Wintour!) were all part of some massive, Chanel-clad bitchfight. But I think this is what really happened: Blake got her Chanel contract, Karl shot some unimpressive ads, Blake's promotion of the brand didn't do much, and it didn't add anything to the image of Chanel, plus Karl was roundly criticized by his staff for hiring Blake. Some time passed, Blake's contract ran out and she got the hint and signed on to Gucci. It wasn't some massive bitchfight, it was just Karl and Blake both taking the hint, you know? Photos courtesy of Chanel, Gucci, WENN.

Kate Upton responds to unhinged, pro-ana criticisms that she’s “fat” and “lardy” Posted: 16 Jul 2012 07:20 AM PDT There was a controversy last week that we didn't cover. I can't speak for why CB and Bedhead didn't discuss it (we didn't talk amongst ourselves on this one, oddly enough), but I chose not to cover it because A) I didn't want to give pro-anorexia ("pro-ana") sites the added publicity and B) I honestly thought it was such a dumb controversy and I couldn't work up the energy to discuss it. Kate Upton, 19, is having a great year – she scored the cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition, she just got the cover of GQ, she's getting lots and lots of modeling gigs, and she's getting a lot of criticism from prissy high-fashion types. You know you're getting somewhere when the prissy fashion people are mad. But I don't think Kate Upton was expecting to become the victim of one of the nastiest, craziest online diatribes I've ever seen. The site Skinny Gossip wrote a post about Kate and how she is "fat". Some of the criticisms? Upton has “huge thighs, NO waist and big fat floppy boobs.” Also, “She looks like a squishy brick. Is this what American women are ‘striving’ for now? The lazy, lardy look. Have we really gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for? Sorry, but: eww!" Skinny Gossip's author, the anonymous "Skinny Girl", ended up responding to the backlash she caused by writing, "As a thin person, I was annoyed by our double-standards around weight. For example, people think nothing of telling a thin woman — to their face, in front of an entire group of people — how skinny they are and even to suggest what they should eat." And that's really all we need to hear from that crazy woman, okay? So, I wouldn't have blamed Kate either way if she ignored this or if she called a press conference to call blast this critic an unhinged wingnut. Instead, Kate responded in a low-key way, having her spokesman say, "It's absurd. Kate is gorgeous and very healthy." Then Kate issued a simple statement to the press: "I'm not going to starve just to be thin. I want to enjoy life and I can't if I'm not eating and miserable." Okay. Good. Kate looks fine. Enough. Photos courtesy of GQ.

Katie Holmes is being publicly urged to adopt a rescue dog from a shelter Posted: 16 Jul 2012 06:46 AM PDT In yesterday's Katie Holmes post, I mentioned that Katie, Suri and some "friends" (!!) had made a visit to a pet shop in Manhattan over the weekend. Katie and Suri left empty-handed (and with Suri in tears because her mom wouldn't get her a puppy!), but I do think that a pet is probably coming. Katie seems to be sending the message to the world: she's putting down roots in New York City, Suri will be a New York girl, and everybody better get used to that. I said that I hoped that Katie and Suri would end up with a kitten – to me, an indoor cat just makes more sense when you're living in the city. I kind of ignored the "controversy" over the fact that Katie and Suri were looking at puppies in a pet store rather than a shelter – which… is this a thing? Yep. A national pet shelter organization is urging Katie Holmes to consider adoption after she was spotted shopping for a puppy in a Manhattan pet store, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. The Batman Begins actress took her daughter Suri to a high-end pet shop on Saturday. A sales assistant took two of the pups out of their display cases to show the actress. One of the tiny dogs was a French bulldog and the other looked to be a Morkie, Yorkshire Terrier/Maltese mix. Holmes ultimately left the store without a puppy and that had a disappointed Suri in tears. But now the North Shore Animal League America – the world's largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization – is inviting the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs. Tom Cruise to visit their facilities and adopt a dog through their organization. “It’s a matter of education,” Devera Lynn, spokesperson for the Animal League, tells Radar exclusively. "Unfortunately most pet stores are provided their dogs from commercial breeding organizations otherwise known as puppy mills. The breeder parents are not kept in conditions that are acceptable to caring for companion animals. They don't get the medical care they need. They are overbred and when the dog is no longer able to breed they either sell them to auctions or kill them." The New York-based organization is inviting Katie to follow their motto to "adopt a pet and save a life." "If you go to a shelter you're going to find beautiful, healthy puppies, even purebreds,” the spokeswoman says. “Not only that you will also be saving a life. We would love to show Katie the animals we have if she is ready to adopt." [From Radar] Ugh. I've always gotten my animals from the pound or from friends who have "rescued" an animal but can't commit to a pet long-term (that's how I got my current puppy, who was 5 pounds when I got him and is now a 100-pound monster). I believe strongly in adopting from shelters and adopting "rescues". I also believe this shelter has a right to get some publicity and educate the public by using Katie and Suri's visit to a pet store. But I don't think Katie and Suri should be tagged as "bad people" or "bad pet owners" if they don't end up with a rescue. Different people want different things, and Katie has a lot on her plate right now. If she does get Suri a puppy, she might be looking for a specific breed that will be good with children, good with city life, good with apartment living. I’m not saying that Katie couldn’t find a puppy like that in a shelter – only that she shouldn’t be harshly judged if she does end up with a pet store puppy. Or she could just get a cat! Incidentally, my mom just got a kitten and then she promptly left town, so I've been looking in on him – this kitten is absolutely CRAY. And he's a rescue too. I should donate him to Katie and Suri. Suri will be able to keep with him (my mom named him Opossum). Meanwhile, Radar has another story about Tom Cruise and Suri video-chatting with each other. It feels like we've already heard that story…? A source tells Radar, "It’s all part of the divorce settlement that Tom be allowed to video chat with Suri. Likewise, when Suri is with Tom, Katie can video chat with her… Tom and Katie were advised that this could be a very useful tool to help Suri with the adjustment of her parents getting divorced. Tom and Suri have been video chatting and Tom just lights up when her face appears on the computer screen. Tom and Suri also communicate on the telephone and there is no limit on the contact for either parent. If Suri wants to talk to Tom she will call him, with help of course." I wonder if Suri tearfully told her dad that EVIL MOMMY wouldn't let her get the puppy she wanted? Hopefully, Tom backed up Katie on that one. But that might be too much to hope for right now. Tom probably screamed, "PUPPIES FOR EVERYONE!" PS… I am SO OVER Katie's booties. But I grow increasingly enamored with her lovely purse. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Michael Lohan probably impregnated his domestic violence victim Kate Major Posted: 16 Jul 2012 06:12 AM PDT For the most part, I'm happy to ignore Michael Lohan. I wish he didn't exist, and he's completely worthless (at best) and (at worst) a violent, abusive, vagina-kicker. But Michael Lohan does exist, out there in the world, when he's not in jail for DUIs or kickin' vadges. For more than a year, Michael had an on-and-off relationship (that's seriously the best way I can say it) with former Star Magazine reporter Kate Major. Major also had a brief affair with Jon Gosselin, and after Gosselin dumped her, Major started up with Michael Lohan. It's not like Major and Lohan have some great love affair or anything – she's called the cops on him, he's called the cops on her, she's given interviews about his physical abuse, and CB is sure that Kate has a drinking problem to boot. Michael has substance abuse problems as well, just FYI. The last time CB wrote about Major was January of this year, when Major was arrested in Florida (where else?) for beating the crap out of her neighbors and being a violent, racist, crazy bitch. So you know where this is headed. This delicate flower and her immortal beloved have made a baby together. There’s going to be a new addition to the Lohan litter — but fear not … it’s not Lindsay who’s preggers. TMZ has learned Lindsay’s gonna have another sibling, courtesy of Kate Major and Michael Lohan. According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal. Our sources say Michael has not told Lindsay or any of his other children the happy news yet. So Lindsay, we’re pleased to inform you you’re gonna have a brother or sister to whom you can teach the ropes. A rep for the couple confirms the pregnancy, but wouldn’t comment further. [From TMZ] So… yeah. This is probably happening. Only Michael Lohan would get a woman pregnant WHILE SHE HAD A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM. So trashy. So typical. I'm going to light a candle for this poor baby. Kate Major has a Twitter too – she hasn't confirmed the news yet, but she has been tweeting about going to church and being on a "health kick". So…I don't even know. Photos courtesy of WENN.

Hugh Jackman shirtless on the beach: wet, beefy and bearded: would you hit it? Posted: 16 Jul 2012 05:57 AM PDT The last time we covered shirtless Hugh Jackman, not many people commented so I’m hoping that by phrasing this title in the form of a question we’ll encourage more reader participation, as it were. Otherwise the next time Hugh has a hot, wet beach photo op we won’t be so likely to cover it. Which is fine, but I’m crying inside a little. There’s very little I like covering more than shirtless Hugh Jackman. Unless Matt Damon strips down and does the equivalent of a vacation commercial. Which you know isn’t going to happen. The last time we saw him shirtless on the beach was three years ago and he was still pudgy from his Informant weight gain. He needs to show off that Elysium body. This is Hugh’s rough and ready Wolverine body. He’s due to start filming the Wolverine sequel at the end of this month. If you compare how he looks now in these fantasy-ready candids on the beach in Australia yesterday, with how he looked less than a month ago, he’s even more defined. This is a man who is supremely committed to his craft and my God does it show. This has got to be my favorite photo, where his shirt is half off. He’s getting ready to come over to rub sunscreen on my back, with slow strong hands. Anyway here’s what the Daily Mail says about these photos, and about the filming schedule, which takes place in Hugh’s native Australia. Unfortunately Jessica Biel is going to be in it. Why?! Strapping star Hugh Jackson showed off his famously muscular physique today on Bondi Beach in his native Australia. In a sight that surely left women swooning, and men envious, the X Men actor stripped off for a swim in the sea, revealing his rock solid set of abs. The toned 6ft 2inch performer enjoyed the warm weather and showed off his athletic prowess… Jackman’s stay in his hometown of Sydney is not purely for play as he will begin filming X-Men sequel The Wolverine at Fox Studios within a matter days. According to reports, Hugh’s list of requests, a private gym has been set up for him on set and a temporary home has been found for his family in Woollahra. Local media also estimate the movie will provide an $80million boost to the Australian economy. Just last week it was revealed that Jessica Biel will join Jackman in the cast. Biel will play Viper in the sixth installment of the series of films. According to Marvel's website, Viper originates from a war-torn Eastern European country and is involved in several parts of Wolverine's story. [From The Daily Mail] The film is scheduled for release next summer. For now we have these lovely photos of Hugh looking like an advertisement for just about anything that anyone would buy. You’ll excuse me while I have trouble gathering my thoughts. This is such a nice way to begin a Monday. Photo credit: FameFlynet, Inc: Bigoz

Lindsay Lohan crack-lied about her Porsche’s brakes failing, shock Posted: 16 Jul 2012 04:35 AM PDT Back in June, just a week into the filming of Liz & Dick, Lindsay Lohan crashed her Porsche into the back of an 18-wheeler on the Pacific Coast Highway. IT WASN'T HER FAULT. It's never her fault. Why would you think it's a crackhead's fault? You're prejudiced against crackies. You should be IN JAIL. That was basically what it came down to – in the days following the crash, Team Lohan (Lindsay + Dina + a gallon of tequila) tried various excuses in the press – the truck cut off Lindsay! Lindsay wasn't driving! Lindsay didn't try to escape via another car and pay off the driver she hit! Lindsay was headed to work and she was already in character as Elizabeth Taylor! And of course, Lindsay claimed the Porsche's brakes failed. That was one of the many explanations for why there were no skid marks at the accident site – nevermind the less complicated reason of "Lindsay was too cracked-out to brake." Anyway, the Porsche dealership (or whatever, the company maybe?) tested the "failed" brakes on Lindsay's totaled Porsche and guess what? Crack liars tell crack lies. Lindsay Lohan’s brakes couldn’t have failed last month — moments before she slammed her Porsche into an 18-wheeler — because sources tell TMZ, Porsche itself tested the car after the crash … and the brakes passed with flying colors. TMZ broke the story … Lindsay blamed faulty brakes for the accident.– telling friends she slammed on the brakes when the truck allegedly cut her off … and nothing happened. As it happens, we’re told Porsche caught wind of Lindsay’s excuse and contacted the company that rented Lindsay the vehicle — asking if it could formally test the car. According to sources, the rental company obliged — and Porsche ran its tests, finding the brakes that had been installed on the car were A-OK, and showed no evidence of malfunction … which blows Lindsay’s bum brakes excuse out of the water. A rep for the Santa Monica PD had no comment. A rep for Porsche also had no comment — but did say they’re cooperating with authorities. Calls to Lindsay were not returned. [From TMZ] So, Lindsay lied about the brakes failing, she lied to the cops about who was driving the car (she told them her assistant was driving), she (likely) hid drugs and alcohol she was carrying in the car, and on and on and on. And still… nothing. Originally I said that the cops would likely penalize Lindsay with "a friendly slap on the firecrotch" but they won't even DO THAT. The cops are all "Meh, why go through the trouble of even making it look like Lindsay Lohan isn't above the law?" Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and PCN.

Ryan Gosling, Michael Fassbender are ‘favorite’ choices for lead in ’50 Shades’ Posted: 16 Jul 2012 04:30 AM PDT I'm not even going to pretend that this story isn't anything other than fluff, filler, and just an opportunity to look at pretty pictures of Ryan Gosling and Michael Fassbender. So what do Gosling and Fassy have in common these days? Both are two of the most in-demand actors out there, flitting from project to project, often working back-to-back with some of the most acclaimed and interesting writers and directors out there. Both are considered just on the cusp of A-list – Gosling is probably more A-list than Fassy, actually, but Fassy is definitely getting there. Both have die-hard fanbases of mostly women who think dark and inappropriate thoughts involving Fassy and/or Gosling in various stages of undress, performing sexual acts that are wholly inappropriate. Which brings me to another thing Fassy and Gosling have in common: both are the "fan favorites" to play Christian Grey in the film adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey. People are actually betting on it, and Fassy and Gosling are the odds-on favorites, along with… Ian Somerhalder. Ladbrokes have posted their odds on who will grab the titles character roles in the upcoming adaption of hit novel Fifty Shades of Grey with Ryan Gosling in the lead. Bookies have jumped on the books current success and joined in the fascination with who might play the characters of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in the movie version. Drive star Ryan Gosling is currently the favourite with odds at 2/1 followed by Vampire Diaries hunk Ian Somerhalder at 5/2. With odds at 3/1 third place was given to hunky German actor Michael Fassbender who recently portrayed a sex addict in the raunchy film Shame. According the The Independent one convinced female punter placed a three figure sum on Fassbender landing the coveted role. Heroine of the book, Anastasia Steele, is thought to be most likely given to Friends with Benefits actress Mila Kunis at odds of 3/1 with actress Scarlett Johansson closely behind with 4/2. Other contenders for the female lead include Elizabeth Olsen (9/2) and Gilmore Girls Alexis Biedel (5/1). The novel, which was branded 'mummy p0rn' has dominated literary conversation recently with masses of fans pondering who will play the much loved (or lusted after) Christian Grey. "The nation has gone 50 shades of crazy for the book so it's impossible to see how the film won't be a success either,” Jessica Bridge of Ladbrokes said. “The odds suggest 50 Shades will cane its competition in the box office." [From Entertainmentwise] As I keep saying, Ian is the only actor who is probably in "serious" contention for the role, just because he's so obviously C-list (sorry VD fans) and because he's been so vocal about wanting the part. No actor with any kind of real profile and A-list career (Gosling, Fassbender) would touch this piece of junk film adaptation with a (their?) ten-foot pole. So while you're wanking to your image of Christian Grey-as-played-by-Michael-Fassbender, just know that there's no chance in hell that he would actually do it. The book is terrible, and the film is going to be terrible too – there's simply no way to avoid it. The heroine (Anastasia Steele) is just awful, and the best way to kill this film adaptation is by hiring a cast straight out of the CW, which is exactly what it deserves. Still, it's good to fantasize. I can't see Ryan Gosling spanking anyone… he seems like he would be "too cool" for that. But Fassy? That man has a spanker's face. Bless him. Photos courtesy of WENN, PCN, Interview Mag, GQ, etc.

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