Cele|bitchy

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• Merry Christmas and happy holidays (here are some hot guys and links!)
• Is Courteney Cox spending the holidays with her jumpoff, Brian Van Holt?
• LeAnn Rimes joins the PTA for Eddie’s son: is that appropriate?
• Elisabetta Canalis allegedly wants to have George Clooney’s baby
• Ryan Reynolds officially files for divorce: no prenup, no drama?
• Lisa Rinna’s newly repaired duck lips aren’t healing properly
• “John Mayer’s white supremacist dong wants you to talk dirty” links
• Did Keira Knightley & Rupert Friend split up after five years together?

Merry Christmas and happy holidays (here are some hot guys and links!) Posted: 24 Dec 2010 06:03 AM PST Hello, Celebitches! I just wanted to wish all of you a happy and safe holiday, from me and CB. We'll probably be gone most of the weekend, unless something horrible and/or juicy breaks (engagement, death, surprise baby, arrest - hopefully not all at the same time). Be safe on the roads and try not to get into some bitter, violent, eggnog-soaked bitch fight, okay? While we're away, we wish our link partners a happy holiday as well! Demi Lovato settled with that chick she punched. [Celebuzz] Johnny Weir released a single… and it is not good. [Dlisted] Ashley Greene thinks she's special, gets a rude awakening. [LaineyGossip] Kate Middleton looks all kinds of wrong on the royal coin. [ONTD] Rachel Zoe still doesn't look pregnant. [Pop Sugar] Raccoon McPantless gets pwned. [Agent Bedhead] Cameron Diaz & A-Rod are still on vacation. [Radar] Kiki Dunst in Blackbook. [The Blemish] The Bieb does a nice thing. [PopEater] Jim Carrey looks nice. [ICYDK] Rabbit Hole, reviewed: Nicole's face moves! [Pajiba] Herpes-ridden blind item: totally Chelsea Handler & 50 Cent. [Evil Beet] Zac Efron looks cute. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?] Naomi Campbell's sketchy hairline is revealed again. [Bossip] Ricky Martin is scruffy, hot. [A Socialite Life] These are just a few of the choice holiday dongs I'll be enjoying this Christmas. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone! Photos courtesy of WENN.

Is Courteney Cox spending the holidays with her jumpoff, Brian Van Holt? Posted: 24 Dec 2010 05:04 AM PST It's no secret (to me) that Courteney Cox and David Arquette's marriage ended around the same time that Courteney began boning her Cougar Town costar, Brian Van Holt. There were rumors about Brian and Court last spring, and while David Arquette seems to be the one willing to take the blame for the failure of the marriage, Courteney hasn't said one thing about her relationship with Van Holt, which I think is on-going, and has been for most of this year (at least). Now Star Magazine is reporting that Courteney and Brian are planning on spending the holidays together… with Cox and Arquette's daughter Coco. Leaving David alone for the holidays. Damn, bitch. That's harsh. It's Courteney Cox's first Christmas without her estranged spouse of 11 years, David Arquette. But she's not staying at home stewing. Instead, Courteney and her beau and costar Brian Van Holt are planning a cozy getaway, likely in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, or Hawaii, joined by her daughter Coco, and a nanny. While David is heartbroken his family will be away for the holidays, "Courteney needs this badly," says a friend. "She intends to make this an amazing time with Brian." One way she's insuring that the trip is extra special" by stocking up on $5,000 worth of lingerie at La Perla! "She says that Brian makes her feel wonderfully free and sexy," says another source. "Courteney is having a blast for a change." [From Star Magazine, print edition] If this is true (why not?), then Courteney is an even bigger jackass than I thought. David has been a complete mess since their split, and although he tried to take it back later, I do think he's probably had some kind of nervous breakdown. And she's going to leave him alone on Christmas? Not even let him see his daughter? All because she wants to have some holiday dong in a warm climate. Ugh. Of course, my "that's nasty" opinion could come from me not find Brian Van Holt attractive in the least. He seems like a dumb meathead who would taste like cheap beer and Funions. Photos courtesy of Fame.

LeAnn Rimes joins the PTA for Eddie’s son: is that appropriate? Posted: 24 Dec 2010 04:37 AM PST Is it appropriate for a man's girlfriend to join the Parent-Teacher Association if she has no legal connection to the dude's children? That's the question to ponder. Would it make a difference if it was LeAnn Rimes who joined the PTA, because she wanted to support Eddie's son Mason? Yes, Mason and Eddie's other son Jake both live with LeAnn half of the time, because Eddie and LeAnn live together now. So LeAnn is part of their lives, and she's there to act as a step-mother. But the PTA? When she's not officially a step-mother? Is this just another way for LeAnn to Hand That Rocks The Cradle Brandi Glanville? She's not a mom - or even a step mom - yet, but that hasn't stopped LeAnn Rimes from joining the Parent-Teacher-Association. She and Eddie Cibrian aren't married, but LeAnn has gotten very close to Eddie's sons, Mason and Jake. She's so involved in their lives that she recently joined the PTA at Mason's school. "LeAnn loves those kids like they're her own sons," a friend explained. "She wanted to get involved in Mason's school. Of course, Eddie thinks it's a great idea, and he's very happy about it." [From In Touch Weekly, print edition] Since I know I'm going to be yelled at, let me say again: I don't think there's anything wrong with a dude's girlfriend loving his kids, and embracing his kids as her own. I think that aspect of it is nice, and obviously, LeAnn does give the image of a loving and doting sort-of step-mother. BUT - LeAnn is psychotic and hyper-narcissistic. And she often steps WAY over the line of propriety and decency regarding those kids, and there have been many occasions where she's flat-out disrespectful to Mason and Jake's mother, who is very much part of their lives. LeAnn refers to them as HER boys, and she makes judgment calls about their well-being that are inappropriate - remember how one of the boys had to go to the emergency room and LeAnn didn't even bother to inform Brandi, yet LeAnn somehow had time to tweet about it? By the way, I'm expecting LeAnn and Eddie's engagement announcement any day now. I'd be surprised if we didn't hear anything by New Year's.

Elisabetta Canalis allegedly wants to have George Clooney’s baby Posted: 24 Dec 2010 04:37 AM PST Elisabetta Canalis and George Clooney have been together a year and a half. That's a long time (for Clooney), and it's much longer than I had in my own private betting pool (me and my dog). Throughout their year-and-a-half relationship, there have been various tabloid stories about how Canalis had "tamed" Clooney, and how this was finally the girl who would get Clooney down the aisle. You've just got to roll your eyes, because they said that about all of Clooney's other girls too. It's a national pastime, theorizing how long Clooney's latest escort/girlfriend will last. Personally, I think Canalis has lasted this long because she's one clever hooker. Of course, I also think she must have accumulated some really disgusting and embarrassing dirt on Clooney that she's blackmailing him with. Just a theory! Anyway, this In Touch Weekly story is most definitely crap, but it amused me to no end: Is the world's best-known bachelor about to turn in his little black book for baby booties? George Clooney, 49, has been dating Italian television star Elisabetta Canalis, 32, for a year, and now she has started hearing the ticking of her biological clock. "She wants a baby with George," the insider says. "As much as George has recently fought the idea of marriage and family, he is finally thinking about settling down. But Elisabetta doesn't even really care if they get married. She has a laid-back European mentality and doesn't need a wedding right away." [From In Touch Weekly, print edition] A few of points: *Elisabetta is 32? My ass. *Of course Elisabetta "doesn't even really care if they get married". As I said, she's a clever hooker. Why sign up for a lifetime when you're getting paid by the week? *I think the tabloids are using euphemisms at this point. "Laid-back European mentality" = cocaine, threesomes and light bondage. *Not to get too harsh (whatever), but would Eli be able to reproduce naturally? Wasn't she born a man? She has an Adam's apple. *Does anyone else enjoy that Eli's descriptor is now "Italian television star"? You know what they're talking about, right? Her completely ridiculous and embarrassing appearance on Leverage! She's a television star now! Photos courtesy of WENN.

Ryan Reynolds officially files for divorce: no prenup, no drama? Posted: 24 Dec 2010 04:36 AM PST Very interesting… on Thursday, December 23rd, Ryan Reynolds officially filed for divorce from Scarlett Johansson. TMZ reports that Ryan and ScarJo coordinated the filing so that Ryan "went first" and ScarJo "responded" to the filing at the same time. So… even though (my opinion) Ryan has been whining like a baby to whoever will listen about how ScarJo is a horrible, immature, self-absorbed, frigid monster, they are still on good enough terms to coordinate the end of their marriage. Almost as if ScarJo just wants to get the hell out, and she doesn't care if she looks like the bad guy? Ryan Reynolds just officially filed for divorce from Scarlett Johansson, but all signs point to a more-than-amicable parting of ways Scarlett’s response to Ryan’s petition was filed at the same time — a strong indication the two of them coordinated the court filings. Neither party is asking for spousal support. Sources tell TMZ there is no prenup, and Ryan made more money than Scarlett during their 2-year marriage. Ryan lists the date of separation as December 14, 2010. Scarlett agrees on the date. Since everything they earned is community property, presumably it will be divided 50/50, though the petitions say property rights are yet to be determined. Although the divorce is friendly, they aren’t taking any chances. Ryan has hired disso-queen Laura Wasser, and Scarlett has retained Lynn Soodik. [From TMZ] Here's something interesting - in People Magazine's online version of this divorce filing announcement, there is no mention of coordinated filings. People's version: Just a few weeks after their separation was announced, Ryan Reynolds has begun the process of officially ending his two-year marriage to Scarlett Johansson. The actor, 34, filed for divorce from Johansson, 26, Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court. A source told PEOPLE recently that the couple grew apart under the strain of managing two thriving careers. They were married in a private ceremony in Canada in 2008. [From People] People Magazine and Us Weekly have taken suspiciously pro-Ryan stances in their reporting, which is definitely a head-scratcher. My take is still that Ryan is pushing a version of the story in which ScarJo is the villain and Ryan is the poor, defenseless nice guy who just wanted babies and a wife who gave up her career to be at his beck and call. You've got to wonder why he's pushing that version so hard… is it because ScarJo was screwing around (with Liev Schreiber and God knows who)? Or is it because Ryan got dumped for good reasons, but ScarJo doesn't care enough to make those reasons public? Or a little from Column A, a little from Column B…? Photos courtesy of WENN.

Lisa Rinna’s newly repaired duck lips aren’t healing properly Posted: 24 Dec 2010 04:36 AM PST Back in October of this year, Lisa Rinna finally went in to a plastic surgeon to have his horrible duck lips repaired, after a silicone tragedy befell them many years ago. You see, Lisa used to get hot lead (or whatever) injected into her lips back in the '80s. And something happened and the procedure became permanent, and Rinna became known as "that chick with the disgusting lips". So she had them worked on… only now the cure seems worse than the disease. Prepare yourself, this gets GROSS. LISA RINNA is trapped in a plastic surgery nightmare - her surgically altered “trout pout” lips won’t heal! The former Melrose Place star, 47, recently underwent a procedure to remove silicone from her lips that had been implanted back in 1986. But now her recovery hasn’t gone well - and she’s terrified that if she smiles too much her lips might bust open! “Her doctors told Lisa it’s going to take months longer for her to heal,” a close pal told The ENQUIRER. “Lisa’s trying not to talk or even smile for long for fear of popping open her lips. She told a pal, ‘I look like I’m mad all the time, but I’m just trying to get my lips to heal properly!’” While lip injections are popular in Hollywood, the procedure can lead to serious complications, Dr. Anthony Youn, a leading cosmetic surgeon told The ENQUIRER. “Any time you have anything permanent injected into the lips, you are playing Russian roulette with your face,” Dr. Youn divulged. "There are serious risks." While Rinna was under the examination table, her doctor warned her: "The tissue is under tension. It's not coming together." According to Dr. Youn, her lips could take up to six months to heal. Her pal said: "The whole thing has been driving Lisa crazy!" [From The National Enquirer, print and online editions] The Enquirer's print edition has absolutely disgusting photos to go along with the story, which I'm very glad we can't reprint here. Her mouth basically looks like (AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU GROSS OUT EASILY) a ripped, bloody anus. It's disgusting. And unsanitary. I don't see how she can even function with her mouth like that - how does she eat? How does she brush her teeth? Ugh. Photos courtesy of Bauer-Griffin and Fame.

“John Mayer’s white supremacist dong wants you to talk dirty” links Posted: 23 Dec 2010 10:58 AM PST John Mayer's white supremacist dong wants you to talk dirty to it. [Gawker] Mila Kunis's year of style. [Go Fug Yourself] More Miley Cyrus photos "leaked". UGH. [IDLITW] Landon Donovan files for divorce. [LimeLife] Lisa Robin Kelly is a meth-face. [Yeeeah] Cameron Diaz's plumber's butt in a bikini. [INFDaily] Cartoon version of Blohan's Shirley Temple debacle. [Next Media Animation] Chloe Sevigny wants somebody to pull her hair. [The Frisky] Teen Mom Amber claims MTV paid her to hit Gary. [Crazy Days and Nights] Nicole Kidman, Keith & Sunday are Down Under. [Celebrity Baby Scoop] Kelly Osbourne hangs out with Miley Cyrus. [Bitten and Bound] Goldie Hawn in Aspen, looking wrecked. [Hollywood Rag] Bret Favre is such a douchey sleazeball. [Celebs] Kitties & puppies who spent the holidays NOM NOM NOMing. [CityRag] The Best 50 Movies of 2010. [Moviefone] Sofia Vergara's bodacious ass from behind. Amazing. [Starpulse] Bob Newhart on NCIS! Amazing! [Accidental Sexiness]

Did Keira Knightley & Rupert Friend split up after five years together? Posted: 23 Dec 2010 10:23 AM PST Keira Knightley has enjoyed a relatively low-key relationship with Rupert Friend for several years now. I think they met on the set of Pride & Prejudice - she was Lizzie Bennett, he was Mr. Wickham. If they met on the set, and started dating, then they've been together for more than five years, probably closer to six. For the most part, they keep their stuff relatively free of drama, neither pushing nor hiding their relationship. My point is that there is rarely any dirt about them, so that makes this piece of gossip somewhat exciting… The Daily Mail's Richard Kay is theorizing that they've split up, and that it happened a little while ago and nobody is confirming it yet: Just the other day, lissom Sienna Miller was talking about how much she envied Keira Knightley's perfect life and wonderful relationship with handsome actor Rupert Friend. But now I hear that all may not be well with Britain's most bank-able film star's five-year romance with Friend. The first hint of possible problems came last week when Rupert — who first met Pirates Of The ­Caribbean star Keira when they appeared in the film version of Pride And ­Prejudice — arrived without her at the ­London Coliseum gala production of English National Ballet's The Nutcracker. On Rupert's arm was his mother, Caroline. 'We all wondered where Keira was, because it was a magical show,' says a fellow guest. 'But Rupert offered no explanation.' Other guests at the high-profile event included Kate Moss, Sadie Frost and Natascha McElhone, who greeted Rupert in the interval with hugs and kisses. And although Rupert looked happy enough that evening, friends fear that behind his smiles, all has not been entirely well with his live-in relationship with Keira, 25. Indeed, some are saying it could be all over between them. It was only last week that Sienna revealed how she admired Keira's quiet life with Friend, describing how the couple spend their evenings reading books and discussing topics. 'It's the kind of life I aspire to,' Sienna said. Rupert, who is a year older than Keira, became an overnight celebrity when he kissed Johnny Depp in the period drama The Libertine. When he first met Keira, she was still with her long-term boyfriend, model and actor Jamie Dornan and he thought he didn't have a chance with the Golden Globe-nominated actress. But they got together at Christmas 2005. Sadly, there is speculation about whether the couple will be pulling Christmas crackers together ­during the festive season, and Keira, I am told, may be looking forward to a new life on her own. Keira's agent says: 'We don't comment on personal matters.' [From The Daily Mail] Lainey at LaineyGossip thinks that there might be something there, which I think too. It's mostly because you never hear anything about them, so if friends are starting to creep out to the tabloids and giving random quotes, something is probably up. Also: the guy who wrote this piece, Richard Kay, is a major British gossip guy. He was Princess Diana’s go-to mouthpiece for years when she wanted to get a particular side out. Just sayin’. Of course, Lainey also thinks something is up with Keira in general. What could it be… drugs? She looked kind of drugged out and glassy-eyed when she was promoting Never Let Me Go. Hmm… what's happening, Keira? Photos courtesy of WENN.

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