Monday, December 13, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Has Anyone Ever Actually Been To The “Oooh Girl Who Did Your Hair Salon”?

Posted: 13 Dec 2010 09:04 AM PST

My friend Chris Bletzer sent me this photo of my new favorite hair salon in the Western Hemisphere:

Makes me want to open up a “Girl, You Know That’s A Family Secret! Salon” right next door.

And in my search to find out if this was a real place and what sort of Yelp reviews it had going for it, I learned that it was in fact Julia Segal who Tumbl’d this way back in September. (Hat tip to her, wait a minute, girl, where did you get that hat? Haberdashery.) Strangely, though, no reviews for this salon.

Which leads me to ask a question that none of us wants to know the answer to: Does this place actually exist? Guess I’ll have to keep going to my usual place, the “Get IT Together Salon,” until we have an answer.

Asked About Crying, John Boehner Responds By Crying… Twice

Posted: 13 Dec 2010 08:32 AM PST

John Boehner! If you don’t remember, he is the man who will become Speaker of the House when the new congress is sworn in in January. And the main thing about that guy is that he cries a lot. That is absolutely the main thing about him. It is so the main thing about him that even his name almost being Boner isn’t main thing about him.

On election night, John Boehner gave a victory speech in which he cried, which would have been understandable except for the fact that he was talking about himself at the time. “I spent my whole life…. chasing the American dream…” and the sobbing began. So, during his interview last night on CBS’s 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl asked him about his tendency to cry and then he cried.

Whoops, we all have to go into the other room now. The Speaker is making us uncomfortable.

This Video Of The Metrodome Roof Collapsing Is Insane

Posted: 13 Dec 2010 07:25 AM PST

Yesterday’s Giants/Vikings game in Minnesota was canceled after the roof of the Metrodome collapsed under the weight of a large amount of snow, because no one could have foreseen a large amount of snow falling in Minnesota in December. The video of the roof collapse is absolutely ridiculous, looking more like a CGI’d movie trailer moment than an actual, real-life…anything.

“It’ll be fiiiine!” – Guy from The Day After Tomorrow trailer and Head Metrodome Roof Maintainer:

FAAAKE! Eh, not really. But it should be.

Andrew Wilson Bitten By Super Uncool Shark

Posted: 13 Dec 2010 08:09 AM PST

Splash News is reporting that Andrew Wilson, of the eponymous “Wilson Brothers,” has been bitten in the leg by a shark this weekend while swimming near brother Owen Wilson’s house. Reports have stated that the injury is minor, meaning he hopefully still has his leg, but no word if he has been released from the hospital yet.

This isn’t the first time Andrew has suffered an injury in an incident related to his brother Owen. As a child, Owen once fired a BB pellet into Andrew’s hand which remains there to this day. You have seen this pellet in The Royal Tenenbaums. And now, a shark attack.

Which leads us to this next point: Hey world, give Andrew Wilson a break for God’s sake. He’s the least famous Wilson, and the grizzliest. Loosely translate that sentence into reading “he’s our favorite Wilson.” You look at him and think “Hot Homeless,” but then he opens his mouth and it’s like “Oh, right, Wilson brother.”

Updated to add: Yes! This is a real, true story that we are reporting as news.

Ahead, a quick interview with Andrew on the set of Whip It, a movie where unbitten shark legs are crucial to the plot. Also, any excuse to listen to a Wilson brother’s Texas drawl for 2 minutes.

Vladimir Putin Wows Crowd On New Fox Show “Singing Dictators”

Posted: 13 Dec 2010 06:35 AM PST

Forget the X Factor finale last night: Vladimir Putin is by far the bigger story when it comes to “people with future’s in the music industry.” And that’s because he will gladly hold a rifle to the head of a record exec (shirtless, duh) like a bald, barrel-chested Kim Zolciak as he insists you “Положите эту композицию вниз,” or “lay this track down.” And he won’t even be talking about his music. He’ll mean actual railroad track, which you’ll need to lay down so that Putin won’t miss his 5 PM meeting with Diddy.

Here he is, singing “Blueberry Hill.” OK, he’s not so much singing as moving his lips while the karaoke backtrack drowns out his terrible voice. Let us pray the terrorists do not have Youtube.
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