Best Week Ever |
- Dreams Do Come True: Alexander Skarsgard Is Stephen Moyer’s B*tch
- Woman Trips During News Broadcast; Reporter Unfazed
- 20 Most Bananas Photos of Single David Arquette
- Christian Bale Has Gone Full Pirate
- SNL Power Rankings: Robert De Niro Makes January Jones Look Like Jon Hamm
- NFL WEEK 13 RECAP: Hotels Skip This Week
- World’s Easiest To Guess News “Revelation”
- Walking Dead Producer Reveals What Jenner Definitely Whispered To Grimes
- The Hasselhoffs Episode 1 Anti-Recap: This Is NOT A Recap
- Door To Door Atheists Give Mormons A Taste Of Their Own Knock-Knock Medicine
- Animal Pees All Over Fran Drescher; Mr. Sheffield Nowhere To Be Found
- Bears Don’t Shake Hands, Bears Gotta HUG!
- Happy Holidays From Aretha Franklin!
| Dreams Do Come True: Alexander Skarsgard Is Stephen Moyer’s B*tch Posted: 08 Dec 2010 08:17 AM PST Although, I might’ve preferred it the other way around. Or not. True Blood, holding steady with basically being girl porn, on and off set:
Oh, this was for charity. Stephen raised more money than Alex so he made him wear this HILARIOUS shirt. These shirts anger me because TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS WHY ARE YOU WEARING SHIRTS. And stop with the stupid faces. Smolder! Smolder, I say! More stupid shirts and stupidly attractive stupid faces after the jump.
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| Woman Trips During News Broadcast; Reporter Unfazed Posted: 08 Dec 2010 07:58 AM PST Thank God this clip happened, it’s been minutes since a wacky local news gaffe made the internet rounds. Only this time, it’s not the reporter messing up, it’s the extra walking behind him (the reporter, actually, remains remarkably undeterred.) Don’t you see? The MESSER UPPER has become the MESSER UPPED! It’s just like Predator, if he slipped: (via Gothamist) |
| 20 Most Bananas Photos of Single David Arquette Posted: 08 Dec 2010 08:19 AM PST After the break up of a serious relationship, both parties are of course sad. This period of mourning can last for a while or a short time, but when it ends, it dawns on both that they are SINGLE and ready to SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH SINGLE. In other words, time to party. David Arquette, more than anyone else, ever, knows how to do this. This is the light that has been hidden under Courtney Cox’s proverbial basket…until now. Here, in no particular order, David’s predilection for wacky fun and hanging out with little people (not that there’s anything wrong with that). 20.
18. 17.
8. |
| Christian Bale Has Gone Full Pirate Posted: 08 Dec 2010 07:58 AM PST
Here is Christian Bale at the premiere of
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| SNL Power Rankings: Robert De Niro Makes January Jones Look Like Jon Hamm Posted: 07 Dec 2010 04:31 PM PST
It’s fair to say that a lot of memorable things have happened in each and every one of our lives since December 18, 2004: Among other things, we elected the first African-American POTUS in the history of our country, we suffered through one of the worst financial crises in our nation’s history, and, of course, we learned about the mysterious origins of Justin Bieber’s tattoo. Which is to say that you’re totally forgiven if, over the course of the last six years, you forgot how bad of an SNL host Robert De Niro is. Don’t kick yourself with regret; after all, Lorne Michaels forgot, too!
But hey, the host is only one part of the show, right? No no no, we’re not going to discuss the manner in which Puff Puffy Diddy Daddy Combs embarrassed himself with his Grade-Z Kanye impression. Rather, now is the time of the week in which we (belatedly!) discuss how the cast performed this week with our SNL Power Rankings.
2. Andy Samberg (37 points): What did we all think of this week’s Digital Short, “Party At Mr. Bernard’s”? I didn’t think it was nearly weird enough, although I did appreciate the short break that it gave viewers from seeing Bobby De Niro reading off cue cards. However, what this short lacked, Samberg’s outstanding work as Blizzard Man more than made up for. He was also charmingly hilarious during Weekend Update as the fourth Spider-Man stand-in. 3. Bill Hader (33 points): Hader‘s impression of Fleetwood Mac frontman Lindsey Buckingham as a bleached blond mute should win some sort of award for World’s Least Grounded In Reality Impression. I am not sure why it is hilarious, but every time I see him, I laugh. And just when I thought I would be over Vinny Vedecci, he makes me laugh again. 4. Kristen Wiig (31 points): This week had just the right balance of Wiig. While the decision to allow her debut a new character, a manic aerobics instructor named Janet Judy Tran, on Weekend Update will go down as one of this season’s most confounding creative choices, her work as a weirdo avant garde singer in “What Up With That?” was inspired. 5. Bobby Moynihan (30 points): This episode marked the second time we have seen Moynihan’s Keith character, who has his charms but, sadly, is kind of one-note. BRING BACK MARK PAYNE! 6. Fred Armisen (27 points): Outside of the Cold Open (in which he played BOTH Obama and Qadafi), there wasn’t much for Armisen to do this week. However, it is important to note that he DID manage to hold onto his role as the POTUS. More on that when you get to the Jay Pharoah section of this recap. 7. Kenan Thompson (21 points): Oooh, whee! There is no doubt that Diondre Cole and “What Up With That?” is one of the best original sketches to come out of the last few years, but dare I say that the bit is getting close to running its course? Yes, I dare say so! Thanks to the always handy and incredibly comprehensive SNL Archives site, I learned that this is the seventh airing of this sketch since its debut in October 2009. To me, this is a few airings too many, and it reminds me of what happened to pitchers like Kerry Wood, Mark Prior and Stephen Strasburg when they threw too many innings too soon after their respective debuts: What could’ve been a very promising career was cut short due to overuse.
9. (tie) Vanessa Bayer, Paul Brittain (16 points): If this were a report card, I’d grade both of their work this week as Incomplete. 11. Taran Killam (12 points): Can I say one thing about Killam? I really, really hate that he stole Will Forte’s character in “What Up With That?” wholesale. He could’ve at least added a new wrinkle or two to the performance, but NO. Ugh. 12. Abby Elliott (6 points): Speaking of ugh… 13. Jay Pharoah (2 points): Did unveiling his Obama impression on Late Night With David Letterman land Jay in Lorne’s doghouse? Impossible to say, but I’m going to exercise my right to wildly speculate and say quite undefinitively, “Yes, yes it did!” SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS Reference Materials:
Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true! *I will begrudgingly admit that I kind of liked his work as Blizzard Man’s mom. “What up, snitches?” And if you made it this far, my apologies for filing this so late. I was sick over the weekend, my bad. |
| NFL WEEK 13 RECAP: Hotels Skip This Week Posted: 07 Dec 2010 03:23 PM PST Your NFL Week 13 Recap, in the form of stupid pictures:
Miami’s playoff hopes are looking slim after this loss, though on the plus side, receiver Davone Bess finally perfected his Yoga Flame:
The Bears needed a late comeback and another questionable call to surpass Detroit on the road, but regardless, they’re now celebrating a 5-game win streak:
I’m getting VH1′s money out of that bear pic, con sarnit…
The Steelers forced a timely fumble to grab a late comeback win, though Ben Roethlisberger’s postgame jubilation was short-lived:
The Packers played this game in their 1929 throwback unis, which was cool:
What wasn’t cool: The Packers also forced their players to wear leather helmets and only allowed whites to play. Can’t question the commitment to authenticity though.
With this convincing road win, the Raiders are still fringe contenders. Relatedly, Tom Cable is still a Guy Ritchie character:
Even the Bengals’ cheerleaders have given up on the season by this point:
With the Jaguars’ home win and Indianapolis’ rough home loss to Dallas, Jacksonville now sits alone atop the AFC South. Oh, NFL…
Brett Favre left this game injured and his status for next week is questionable, putting his consecutive games streak who gives a sh*t about this news he’s obviously going to play and the Vikings’ season is over regardless so let’s drop it already.
I appreciate the Eagles’ celebratory re-creation of the famous internet turtle-frog-spider pic:
This Broncos fired head coach Josh McDaniels following another sad defeat. This postgame photo now seems awfully prophetic:
Washington’s O-Line simply didn’t have an answer for the Giants’ new Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyiora’s Transformers “Devastator” creation:
Ugh. Was this televised? Sorry, those people.
Ugh. Was this televised? Sorry, those people. Wait, the Rams are gonna make the playoffs? Sorry, everyone.
Odd that “Raiders” and “Buccaneers” are basically the same thing, and yet, Raiders fans are terrifying, while Bucs fans are, well, this guy:
The Cowboys beat the Colts in Indianapolis to improve to 3-1 under interim head coach Jason Garrett, thus worsening their draft pick while also making Jerry Jones’ decision to hire a new coach next year much tougher. But hey, you won!
Yikes – This ended up not being the Monday night barnburner that everyone was expecting. The Patriots were too fired up by Tedy Bruschi’s jersey retirement and topical inspiration:
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| World’s Easiest To Guess News “Revelation” Posted: 07 Dec 2010 02:07 PM PST |
| Walking Dead Producer Reveals What Jenner Definitely Whispered To Grimes Posted: 07 Dec 2010 01:38 PM PST
After Sunday’s The Walking Dead finale on AMC, all the water cooler talk the next morning (meaning me with a cup of water shouting at random people when they walked in) was about what Dr. Jenner, the lone CDC scientist, whispered to Rick Grimes right before Grimes left the building. Numerous (spoilery!) theories emerged online, speculating that Jenner told Rick that his wife was pregnant, or that the wife was specifically pregnant with Shane’s baby, or that the wife was a couple months pregnant and thus couldn’t be his baby, or any number of unrelated things (my college Mark Graham suggested he just whispered the same thing Bill Murray whispered at the end of Lost In Translation). Today, in an interview with EW, executive producer Robert Kirkman dropped this bombshell:
“Hey, watch out for those zombies out there, dude!” That HAD to be it, right? And Kirkman is just covering for his slip-up by saying it wasn’t. My theory: Jenner literally told Rick “Hey, watch out for those zombies out there,” and when Frank Darabont saw the footage, he cut the audio out and immediately fired the entire writing staff. Also, Lori is pregnant. But Jenner was much more concerned about making sure Rick watched out for those zombies. It’s good advice! He’s a zombie doctor. |
| The Hasselhoffs Episode 1 Anti-Recap: This Is NOT A Recap Posted: 07 Dec 2010 12:33 PM PST
The episode begins with what turns about to be the first in a long series of instances involving David Hasselhoff and his two daughters, Taylor and Hayley yelling and talking over each other. Oh yeah, I should explain. David Hasselhoff has two daughters named Taylor and Hayley.
Isn’t that nice how I explained that clearly? Guess where that wasn’t explained clearly? IN THE GODDAMN SHOW. They don’t really explain that in the show. It just starts off with David Hasselhoff and two young women yelling at each other. Upon rewinding, you can notice David Hasselhoff screaming into his flipcam that Taylor is his daughter while she yells over him, but I for SURE am the only person in the United States of America who bothered to rewind any part of this show.
And, by the way, this might not even be the first episode. You can’t even tell which episode is supposed to be the first episode! The “second” episode, which aired immediately after the “first” and WILL NOT BE DISCUSSED EVER, shows the younger daughter moving back in to the Hasselhoff house after she was already living in the house during the “first” episode. So unless this is a show about some very subtle Hasselhoff time travel, they are already off to a terrible, terrible start. Back to the yelling: it continues. And for some reason, Poland is mentioned while David Hasselhoff repeatedly tries to plug his website called Hoffspace. Yikes. So, after all the yelling, the Hasselhoffs start talking about how much they are all addicted to caffeine. David Hasselhoff makes a bet with his daughters that whoever can stay off caffeine the longest will win $1000. David Hasselhoff then immediately explains to the camera that he plans on cheating and will not be off caffeine during the duration of the bet. Oh, so this bet in which the viewer already had no stakes has even lower stakes than we previously thought? Awesome, David Hasselhoff. Also, he sometimes pronounces caffeine with the stress on the second syllable. Caf-FEINE. It’s horrible. “But, how,” you might ask, “did they transition from yelling into making a bet about caffeine?” They did it by yelling. Next, the show introduces us to story line B. The younger daughter calls a pet psychologist to come help out their dog, Coco. What’s the problem with the Coco? She is “addicted” to tennis balls.
See, the Hasselhoffs are addicted to caffeine and the dog is addicted to tennis balls. The episode has a theme! A lighthearted addiction theme. And, really, it makes sense that they would bring up addiction in in a lighthearted way in this episode because it’s not like anyone on this show has ever had an actual serious addiction that was wildly disturbing.
So, the daughter gets the pet psychologist on the phone and the psychologist says, “Yeah, just stop leaving 40 tennis balls around everyday.” Story line: finished. Just kidding; that doesn’t happen at all. The pet psychologist has to come to the house, and she has a completely sane expression on her face.
When David Hasselhoff hears about the pet psychologist, he thinks it’s ridiculous. He says that there’s no way the dog is addicted to tennis balls. He decides to have a private discussion with Coco. You know, just a nice private discussion with his dog, the way everyone does when they’re not on camera and not the star of a transparently scripted reality show.
Now here’s where things gets super uncomfortable. Because David Hasselhoff doesn’t think the dog is actually addicted, he advises the dog to start hiding the tennis balls so that she won’t get caught with them. He tells the dog an anecdote he finds very amusing. “During my drinking days, I used to hide my ‘ball’ in the gutters. No one would ever go up there, so I would go up on the roof, and in the gutter is where it was! No one ever found it up there. Hahaha!” Hahaha! You used to almost kill yourself everyday by getting black out drunk on a roof! Funny story, David Hasselhoff! And while that is undeniably HILARIOUS, there are a couple of things that don’t add up. You had previously said that the dog isn’t addicted to tennis balls. But, if in your metaphor, your “ball” represents alcohol, then that would presuppose that the dog is addicted to tennis balls. And then you give him advise on how to hide his addiction. And you do it while laughing. That’s messed up, David Hasselhoff. This show is the opposite of Intervention. The pet psychologist ends up telling them that the dog is feeding off the family’s energy of caffeine addiction and that’s why she’s addicted to tennis balls. Sure. By the end of the episode, the older daughter loses the caffeine bet by drinking a Red Bull. They all laugh about it. Total LOL moment.
Then, after that, David Hasselhoff catches the younger daughter in the bathroom drinking a Red Bull. She’s totally busted lying on the floor, feeding her addiction.
And that’s another total LOL moment because it is not at all reminiscent of a disturbing image of another Hasselhoff lying on the floor, feeding an addiction.
The episode ends with the daughters figuring out that David Hasselhoff had been cheating the whole time and never actually gave up caffeine. David Hasselhoff fesses up and has to pay the younger daughter the $1000 because she, in fact, lasted the longest. So that’s it. The episode ends there. See? It’s the worst. Don’t watch this show ever again. I certainly won’t. |
| Door To Door Atheists Give Mormons A Taste Of Their Own Knock-Knock Medicine Posted: 07 Dec 2010 12:27 PM PST Documentary filmmaker and very Australian man John Safran was sick and tired of Mormons banging on his door. (Is this something that happens in Australia? Or is he just pissed off on behalf of all Salt Lake City residents? It is never fully explained.) Anyway, he bought himself a button down and tie, a ticket to Utah, and began his crusade as a door-to-door atheist. As you can imagine, the locals were not amused. But frankly, whom among us would be? A girl scout could knock on my door with free cookies and I’d probably still Home Alone a BB gun through the dog flap to get her the f*ck off my porch. Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons – Watch more Funny Videos (via Derek Hartley) |
| Animal Pees All Over Fran Drescher; Mr. Sheffield Nowhere To Be Found Posted: 07 Dec 2010 11:46 AM PST I’ve often said, it isn’t a talk show unless you’ve got two things: Fran Drescher as a host, and an animal peeing all over her. This clip of BWE friend Dave Salmoni with a — wait, what is that? Lemur? Anyway, facts, who needs em? UPDATE: It’s a kinkajou. — fulfills all of the above required dreams. Fran Drescher and animal urine. "The Fran Drescher Show" can be seen on FOX 5 NY at 12 noon, FOX 11 (Los Angeles) at 2:00pm, FOX 29 (Philadelphia) at 12 noon, FOX 10 (Phoenix) at 1:00pm, FOX 9 (Minneapolis) at 1:00pm, FOX 35(Orlando) at 11:00am. |
| Bears Don’t Shake Hands, Bears Gotta HUG! Posted: 07 Dec 2010 01:02 PM PST Awww, photos of two brother bears hugging at a national park in Alaska! It’s all the adorableness of Grizzly Man, but without any delusional cause-addicts getting themselves predictably mauled!
Cuuuute! Though I’m sure some buzzkill scientician will explain that this isn’t actually a hug, it’s probably some horrible instinctual behavior that looks like a hug (they’re resting up to tag-team murder their cubs so their females go back into heat or something), but whatever it is, it sure looks adorable to me, and that’s the only science I care about! Also, ichthyology. After the jump, two more pics of the brother bears bro’in it up:
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| Happy Holidays From Aretha Franklin! Posted: 07 Dec 2010 12:15 PM PST Two things we love in one convenient GIF: Aretha Franklin and Holiday Wreaths. And so, here is the only Holiday GIF you’ll ever need… it’s Awreatha Franklin:
Well, what are you waiting for?? Send this to Friends and Family immediately! Tweet it! Facebook it! Get in there, Awreatha-style. |
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