Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Crushable

Crushable

Crushable

Stay At Home Daughters: Hiding From The School, But Not The Internet?

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 11:17 AM PST

For those of you tired of having to support yourself in the workforce, we just learned of a new movement called the “Stay At Home Daughters” movement. It involves quitting your job, staying home and learning how to be a good wife. And listening to whatever your dad tells you to do until you get married and your husband takes over your life. Crap! There’s always a catch, isn’t there?

Looks like we won’t be quitting our day jobs. But Bitch magazine has a very interesting profile of the Stay at Home Daughters movement, which encourages young women to refrain from school and learn how to be "keepers at home." Which mostly means supporting their fathers in anticipation of their lives as wives and mothers.

Interestingly, they’ve taken to the internet with their beliefs, through blogs, YouTube videos and audio tapes. According to Bitch:

“Young women pursuing their own ambitions and goals are viewed as selfish and antifamily; marriage is not a choice or one piece of a larger life plan, but the ultimate goal. Stay-at-home daughters spend their days learning "advanced homemaking" skills, such as cooking and sewing, and other skills that at one time were a necessity—knitting, crocheting, soap- and candle-making.”

The girls who are sharing their lives with the world online seem plenty happy to do this. Like The Smiling Sisters, who have just launched a YouTube show:

But the movement is decidedly run by parental units, and moreover, fathers.

According to Jezebel:

“We’re sure plenty of these adherents are happy in their lifestyle, but what’s troubling — obviously — is that, despite the rhetoric, it’s not a choice. It’s a dictum, being enforced on a lot of women.”

And Doug Phillips, the founder of Vision Forum (part of the Christian Patriarchy Movement), isn’t shy about that. From Bitch:

"Daughters aren't to be independent. They're not to act outside the scope 
of their father. As long as they're under the authority of their fathers, fathers have the ability to nullify or not the oaths and the vows. Daughters can't just go out 
independently and say, 'I'm going to marry whoever I want.' No. The father has 
the ability to say, 'No, I'm sorry, that has to be approved by me.'"

It’s that paternal decision element – and the fact that the stay at home daughters movement discourages educating females – that makes it so disturbing.

And yet, it seems like sharing this lifestyle with the internet is the easiest way to get feedback, from both adherents and those that disagree with the ideals behind stay at home daughters. Hopefully these girls read their own emails. And for good measure, here are some ways to contact them:
The Visionary Daughters: damsels (at) visionarydaughters (DOT) com
flibbypie(at)yahoo.com
misspoppins(at)bellsouth.net
biblicalmaiden(at)gmail.com

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Stay At Home Daughters: Hiding From The School, But Not The Internet?

Video: Tracy Morgan's Incoherently Awesome 'Star Wars' Recap

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 11:11 AM PST

This clip from Late Night with Jimmy Fallon might perfectly encapsulate Tracy Morgan’s brilliance as a comedian. He’s always been known for giving rambling, drunk-sounding interviews, but I’m pretty convinced the man is actually a genius. Watch as the 30 Rock star gives what might be the most Dada-ist interpretation of Star Wars ever, while still revealing that when it comes to Return of the Jedi, this guy knows his Hoth.

Best moments include: Calling Jimmy PCP-3PO; that time Luke fell off his “whop”; scruffy little herd-nerder; “Obi-Waaaaaa!”

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Video: Tracy Morgan's Incoherently Awesome 'Star Wars' Recap

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:43 AM PST

Michael Ian Black Is On Fire – No, really. (College Humor)

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Crushabe Books: The Multimedia 'Music' Experience By Andrew Zuckerman

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:28 AM PST

It’s rare that I review something that I actually like, since it’s so much easier to be funnier and witty about things that suck. And you know what? That’s just lazy. So in the holiday spirit, I picked up Music, Andrew Zuckerman’s beautiful hardcover photography book filled with these intensely personal portraits of 50 famous musicians – ranging from Karen O. to Laurie Anderson, Russell Simmons to Trey Anastasio – and accompanied by lengthy, insightful interviews of the artists talking about their craft.

It’s the kind of book that you want to buy a coffee table for, just to put it on. And I never thought I’d say this, but Kid Rock is pretty damn insightful.

You can watch the trailer for the book:

Andrew Zuckerman Music Trailer from Andrew Zuckerman Studio on Vimeo.

Or watch short clips of all the interviews online:

Russell Simmons 30 from Andrew Zuckerman Studio on Vimeo.

But of course, what Music really is about is the stunning combination of stark images and words.

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Crushabe Books: The Multimedia 'Music' Experience By Andrew Zuckerman

Video: Balloon Rudolph Impales Himself On Traffic Light

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:15 AM PST

“Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say/Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh right into a traffic light and ruin this parade for everyone tonight.”

We feel terrible laughing at this, but we just can’t stop. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow-motion, and then watching the train deflate into a sad heap, and then watching the passengers continue to celebrate anyway. (The tragicomedy starts around the 2-minute mark.)

(via The Hairpin)

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Video: Balloon Rudolph Impales Himself On Traffic Light

Dear Angelina Jolie: Give It Up. You've Had Work Done.

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:04 AM PST

Angelina Jolie has such a great life. She’s stupidly hot, and whenever she wants something, she gets it. Brad Pitt? Sure. (Sorry Jennifer Aniston!) A new baby? Yes! (Sorry third world mother! It’s for a good cause!) Plastic surgery? Yes, that too.

But now Angie has come out saying that she’s never had any work done. Really? REALLY?! That’s just blatantly untrue. And what purpose does it serve to lie about your nose job, Angie? To make people even more infatuated with your unattainable beauty? Please. That’s borderline pathetic.

Angelina Jolie is an almost untouchable celebrity. Just when you’d think the world would turn against her for breaking up America’s favorite couple Brad and Jen, Angelina became an intense UN Ambassador, traveling the globe trying to end world suffering. Besides, Brad and Angie are so hot together! Who could stay mad at her (other than Chelsea Handler)?

But claiming she’s never had any work done? That’s just absurd. Angelina Jolie has clearly had a nose job. And considering how much weight she’s lost over the years while retaining her bust, chances are she’s had implants as well. When well-endowed women lose a lot of weight, their breasts usually get smaller (just ask Scarlett Johansson).

And yet, she tells The Daily Mail:

“I haven't had anything done and I don't think I will. But if it makes somebody happy then that's up to them. I'm not in somebody else's skin to know what makes them feel better about themselves. But I don't plan to do it myself.”

What purpose does this lie serve?

For those of you doubters, check out these side by sides of Angie as a teen compared to today, courtesy of the OCRegister:

Noses do not change drastically as you age.

Angelina Jolie is one of the world’s most attractive women, regardless of whether she got a little work done or not. But perpetrating the lie that she just woke up one day looking like Laura Croft isn’t helping anyone.

Angelina’s nose is supposedly one of the most requested noses in plastic surgery offices. That’s not to suggest that she didn’t come by it naturally. But this photo is:

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Dear Angelina Jolie: Give It Up. You've Had Work Done.

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:00 AM PST

Justin Bieber’s prank mustache inspired by his meeting with John Waters - Because that is a thing that happened. John Waters and Justin Bieber were together in a room, touching shoulders. And there’s photographic evidence. What would Divine say? (Vulture)

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Posted: 07 Dec 2010 10:00 AM PST

Want to get $$$ for using Facebook? – Suggest Crushable to your friends on Facebook and you could win a $200 gift certificate to JCPenney. That will help you with your holiday shopping! You have until December 12 to enter, and you can find all the details here.

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Crushable's Cat Lady: Robot Fetishes And Cat Costumes

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 11:25 AM PST

Dear Cat Lady,

I was snooping around on my boyfriend's computer – I just wanted to find out if he had pictures of his ex-girlfriends in compromising positions, or if he were secretly storing videos of the Miss Teen USA pageant – but I found something so much worse! He has all sorts of pictures of me that he's Photoshopped with lights and wires and weird uniforms so that I look like a robot or an android or something! Gross, right? What do I do – or is it my fault for spying on him?

Non-Robotic Girlfriend

Dear (allegedly) Non-Robotic Girlfriend,

What about me made you think I would be mad at you for spying on your boyfriend? I try to dispense my life lessons and wisdom accumulated through years of bending men to my will. If I had my way, men wouldn't even be able to turn on their computers without female supervision. In fact, to help achieve this goal, I'm going to set up a website, with the help of Henry, my computer-savvy nephew, in which masochistic men will pay money to have all their computer usage monitored and critiqued by attractive and domineering women. So far, Henry has reported that the address www.whydidyouclickonthatyounastynastyman.com is available, but he says that I'm going to have to wait for his programming help until after he finishes his big diorama for social studies class. I forget what he's making. Oh, right, I remember – The Alamo.

So, congratulations on a job well done. You've discovered that your boyfriend has a thing for robot girls. Even better, you've discovered that he is secretive and ashamed of it. Perfect! You'll be able to manipulate him with tiny promises and threats for years to come. You might even get enough out of him to support not one but TWO cats in the style to which they are accustomed.

First, though, you'll have to figure out what he really wants. You see, there are two types of people who dress their cats up in costumes, and I have to believe that the same dynamic applies to people who want to dress their girlfriends up like androids.

The first type of cat costumer wants a complacent kitty – one that will just lie there and think of catnip while it gets dressed up in a baby bonnet with matching binkie and receiving blanket, and then is happy to be carried around like a big, fat, hairy baby. These people want their cats to be just like a baby, only with less interest in boobs.

By contrast, the second type of person who dresses up their cat is only interested in the funny things the cat does once costumed – walking with stiff legs, attempting to claw off a bonnet, assuming an outraged and disdainful expression, etc. These people enjoy the contrast between the cat and what it is not.

So does your boyfriend dream of you pretending to be a robot without protest? Or does he Photoshop while fantasizing of you fighting against your role, all your robotic circuits overloading as you try to be a real girl? Figure this out, buy some silver face paint, get a few strategic piercings, and you'll be set for life.

Just don't get rusty!
The Cat Lady

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Crushable's Cat Lady: Robot Fetishes And Cat Costumes

Sneaker Roundup: Festive Christmas Shoes!

Posted: 07 Dec 2010 09:39 AM PST

If you’re anything like us, you love dressing up for the holidays but can’t quite commit to a wardrobe of Santa sweaters and red-n-green plaid. The solution? Christmas sneaks! We were surprised to discover just how many 25th of December-inspired shoes are out there, but we’re certainly not complaining. Maybe a pair or two will magically appear under the tree for next year?

  • Pair with all black.
  • Xmas slip-ons.
  • Grinch Cons!
  • These Adidas say
  • Another of the collection.
  • Snowy!
  • These look warm.
  • More slip-ons, this time with wreaths.
  • A subtle direction.
  • Santa probably owns these Nikes.

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Sneaker Roundup: Festive Christmas Shoes!
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