Cele|bitchy

Tom Cruise “rocks out” on a balcony to universal cringes
Did Jennifer Lopez dump Marc Anthony because he was too controlling?
Linnocent “has never, ever owned a firearm” despite showing a gun to Vanity Fair
Kris Jenner debuts her freshly “lifted” cat-face, looks more “surprised” than ever
David & Victoria Beckham debut baby Harper Seven

Tom Cruise “rocks out” on a balcony to universal cringes

Posted: 17 Jul 2011 08:20 AM PDT

I don't even know how to describe what's going down in these photos. Fame Pictures describes it as, "While on the balcony of his SoHo hotel room in Miami, Florida, the ever charismatic “Rock of Ages” star, Tom Cruise, gives the crowd below a little taste of the upcoming film as he gives a shirtless demonstration of his ability to ‘rock out’ with a microphone on July 16th, 2011." So this is Tom Cruise, "rocking out" and/or advertising his rock-star O-face for the Miami hustlers? I know everyone is going to yell at me about Tom being an evil, auditing brain-washer who married a robot and raises his kids in a destructive cult, but I honestly feel bad for Tom. It's flat-out pity at this point. He's trying so hard, and he just reeks of… desperation. I guess I feel pity because I'm old enough to remember a time when Tom could do no wrong, when he was the #1 Box Office Star, Ever, when he wasn't reeking of desperation. Cringe through more photos of Tom's unhinged "Rock Out" face:

And what does Katie think of this? REBOOT. REBOOT.

If all of that wasn't gross and sad enough, Tom also went for a pool dip with his girls. He left his hat on, because…? Because he's balding? Because Xenu gave him a toupee? Because it's his new thing? Because he's constantly thinking about The Full Monty? I still find his happy trail/L.Ron Trail so, so disturbing. It wasn't always like that, right? It wasn't always just that random tuft of damp, wiry hair, glistening in the sunlight? *vom*

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Did Jennifer Lopez dump Marc Anthony because he was too controlling?

Posted: 17 Jul 2011 07:48 AM PDT

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced their split late Friday. My take, at the time, was that it sounded like both Marc and Jennifer were totally done with their marriage, and that they weren't even playing the "maybe we'll reconcile" game. Many of you have theories about their marriage, and now, their separation. Some have brought up those old(er) tabloid stories about Marc being physically abusive to Jennifer - I've always had a hard time believing those stories, but maybe that's just me. What is being said by many is that Marc is very controlling - CB pointed out this story, about Marc "coaching" Jennifer during the commercial breaks on American Idol. LaineyGossip also noted that Marc often seems "intense" and jealous with Jennifer. I could see him being emotionally, psychologically abusive… much more than physically abuse, but once again, we don't know for sure.

Despite my surprise for their split, I also thought that the signal - the event which should have raised the alert for all of us - for the breakup was that Jennifer took her mom to meet Prince William and Duchess Kate last weekend. Usually Jennifer never missed an opportunity to trot Marc out, so we should have known that something was up. The Mail claims that it was last weekend, the weekend that William and Kate were in LA, that Jennifer and Marc's marriage officially fell apart:

It should have been the glittering highlight of their seven-year union. Multi-millionaire superstars Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were due to be guests of honour at the top table with Prince William and Kate at last weekend's glittering Bafta gala in Hollywood.

Instead, J-Lo sashayed down the red carpet in a provocatively clinging green Pucci gown accompanied by her mother, Guadalupe, a former kindergarten teacher from the Bronx. She was also missing her wedding ring. Royal aides, along with the singer-actress's millions of fans, were mystified. But on Friday night in a statement issued through J-Lo's publicist, the couple, worth an estimated £240 million, announced they are to divorce. They called the decision 'painful' and 'difficult'. But The Mail on Sunday has spoken to several of the couple's closest confidantes and can reveal they began to drift apart three years after their marriage in June 2004.

'This is not a surprise,' J-Lo's stylist Phillip Bloch said in an exclusive interview last night. 'Marc is very controlling. In the beginning she liked that because he stood up to her, and in the early days he was very much in love with her and she was with him.'

But the couple are said to have begun to squabble soon after 41-year-old J-Lo's mother moved into their Long Island, New York mansion in 2008 to help look after their newborn twins.

'They also clashed when she learned he owed millions in unpaid taxes on the Long Island estate,' said film-maker Ed Meyer, an associate of J-Lo's first husband, Cuban-born club-owner Ojani Noa. 'The other problem was that they couldn't agree where to live. J-Lo's career is in Hollywood and she wanted to live in their Malibu mansion and Marc loved New York. She was going to move to New York in a last-ditch effort to save the marriage. But last Monday I heard it was all over.'

In November 2002 – after a second failed marriage, to backing dancer Cris Judd – Jennifer became engaged to actor Ben Affleck, declaring he was 'the one'. But The Mail on Sunday has learned that years before, another man, top Latin American recording artist Marc Anthony, had become infatuated with her. J-Lo broke up with Affleck in January 2004. That June Marc, now 42, finalised his divorce from former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres. Four days later they married at Jennifer's home in Beverly Hills.

They presented themselves as a fairytale couple. But soon after the birth of the twins, the couple are said to have begun to argue.

'J-Lo's mother wanted to run her life and Marc wanted to run her life and I don't think J-Lo wanted anyone to control her,' said Meyer.

Friends say J-Lo made one last attempt to save the marriage with her offer to move back to New York.

'She fought to make it work for the sake of the children,' said Phillip Bloch. 'She desperately did not want a third divorce.'

[From The Mail]

Hm… it's interesting that a named source - a powerful hair stylist with his own elite circle within Hollywood - is going on the record about Marc and Jennifer's relationship, it's interesting that Phillip Bloch is blaming Marc's controlling ways, and it's interesting that this is being done so soon. I'm telling you… it's going to get intense, I think.

Meanwhile, Jennifer is already reportedly heading out of the country for her first post-split gig, in the Ukraine. She's being paid $1 million to perform at a wedding on July 19. E! News's source says, "It’s a wealthy guy who wanted J.Lo and was willing to pay top dollar." And Max and Emme aren't coming with her.

Here's another thought… Jennifer always bounces back very, very quickly. Who will her jumpoff/rebound be? For some reason, I really, really wish Simon Cowell was still doing Idol, because I think Simon and Jennifer would be… awesome. My theory? She's not going to go for another actor like Ben Affleck or something. She'll go for a power-player, maybe someone behind-the-scenes, a producer or the head of a studio or label, something like that.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Linnocent “has never, ever owned a firearm” despite showing a gun to Vanity Fair

Posted: 17 Jul 2011 07:12 AM PDT

Here are some more photos of Linnocent from another day/night of shooting that music video. Yes, Linnocent is a music video girl now. She is not shooting a video for her new single or anything, this is for a band called The Miggs, who must suck. Hard. As for Linnocent's costume… er… I guess she's wearing panties or something underneath that jacket? I hope so. I think so… it looks kind of like her ensemble is a black one-piece swimsuit, a hooded thigh-length jacket and a thigh-high boots? So, basically, she's going to steal this outfit for her future street walking…? She looks pretty crackie, in any case, but when doesn't she look crackie at this point?

Meanwhile, do you guys remember Linnocent's Vanity Fair Italia cover shoot and interview from just a few weeks ago? I asked Italian-speakers to translate part of the interview for me, and they followed through! In the interview, Linnocent was described as pulling out her infamous furry pink jacket and showing the Vanity Fair reporter a gun. Linnocent then allegedly told the reporter, "I've got a permit to carry a firearm, but it's not loaded, I keep it in the house in case someone tries to get in." Now, weeks later, Linnocent's publicist is denying that. Seriously?

Lindsay Lohan is setting the record straight about a controversial new interview in which it is alleged she boasts that she owns a gun.

In the August issue of Vanity Fair Italia the embattled starlet poses for a steamy photo shoot and interview with famed photographer Alan Gelati, during which, he claims: "[Lindsay] brings out a pink fur jacket and a gun: 'I've got a permit to carry a firearm, but it's not loaded, I keep it in the house in case someone tries to get in.'"

However, Lindsay emphatically denies that she ever said that, and insists that she doesn’t even own a gun.

“Lindsay has never, ever owned any type of firearm in her life. I have no idea why someone would say that,” Lindsay’s publicist, Steve Honig tells RadarOnline.com.

In the interview, Lohan also (allegedly) commented on her recent lucky escape from serving time in jail, after being sentenced instead to house arrest following a probation violation: "Unless you're a killer, I don't see a reason to stay there. I never hurt anyone but myself."

Meanwhile, Lohan has a progress report hearing on July 21 for her misdemeanor grand theft case at the LAX Airport Courthouse. Lohan won’t be required to be there unless Judge Sautner is concerned about Lilo complying with terms of her probation.

[From Radar]

A denial from Linnocent's publicist means absolutely nothing. The bitch is a pathological liar and she only hires enablers, so who knows if Linnocent lied to this guy, or if he's just lying to us. I believe Linnocent has a gun. I believe she keeps it in her sketchy pink fur coat. I believe she's gets cracked out of her skull and pulls the gun out to show to whoever is in front of her, be it a journalist, a dealer or her sister.

By the way, here's an interesting thought: why did Linnocent's publicist come out to deny this particular story WEEKS after the Vanity Fair interview went public, especially considering there was a particularly damaging NEW magazine interview that came out just this past week in PLUM Miami? Next month, will Linnocent's hack publicist finally get around to denying the stories in that magazine? I would love to hear Linnocent's denial for claiming that she should have been up for a part in Black Swan.

Oh, and Linnocent also took part in another photo shoot with her enabler, Tyler Shields. You can see the full shoot here, but here’s one photo I think you’ll like:

More from her music video shoot:

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Kris Jenner debuts her freshly “lifted” cat-face, looks more “surprised” than ever

Posted: 17 Jul 2011 06:33 AM PDT

Last week, Khloe Kardashian "outed" her mom, Kris Jenner, as a victim of yet another facelift. Kris Jenner's face is already pulled too tight - her kat-face seems like the inevitable conclusion for her daughter Kim's kat-face. So why did Kris go in for another procedure? Because Kim is getting married next month, and Kris wanted to look "refreshed" I suppose. Anyway, these are new photos of Kris and her new face.

I have to say… I can't really tell a difference between the new face (above) and the old face (below).

Her eyebrows are higher… so she looks more permanently "surprised" than before. Plus, the skin around her mouth looks somewhat tighter too. But if I didn't know that Kris had another surgical procedure, I wouldn't have noticed it, honestly. Should be applaud Kris for getting "minimal" work done, and for getting such minor tweaking that she still looks like herself (or the same old kat-face)? Eh. I bet she would look prettier with her natural face, honestly.

You know what bugs? Kris is telling her girls - in words and in action - that growing old naturally is unacceptable. It's her prerogative, of course, but she has FIVE daughters, and all of them started out pretty, naturally. When Kris smothers them with her kat-face, they're all going to end up these frozen-faced, overly made-up famewhores. I guess I just don't get this - I look at my mother's face, who is aging naturally and really, really well, and I feel good about myself and not doing anything crazy to MY face. Kris is just a bad role model, in my opinion.

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and WENN.

David & Victoria Beckham debut baby Harper Seven

Posted: 17 Jul 2011 06:09 AM PDT

Ooooh! David and Victoria Beckham have debuted the most beautiful girl in the world, their daughter Harper Seven on their respective social networking sites. David put a photo of Posh and Harper on his Facebook page (with the message “I took this picture of my two girls sleeping”), while Posh put a photo of David and Harper on her Twitter (with the message “Daddy’s Little Girl”). At this point, all you can really tell about Harper is that she seems to have her mom's dark hair and her mom's little upturned nose. Hopefully, there will be a good dash of David in there too! Speaking of, David once again tried to explain why in the world they chose "Harper Seven" as their little girl's name:

Harper Seven Beckham’s name symbolizes more than just her dad’s soccer jersey number. In a video posted Friday on his Facebook page, David Beckham explains the significance of his and wife Victoria’s newborn daughter’s unique moniker.

“A lot of people have assumed that it’s just because it was my shirt number that I wore for many years, and part of it is,” the 36-year-old father of four says. In addition to Harper Seven, born July 10, the Beckhams have three sons: Brooklyn, 12, Romeo, 8, and Cruz, 6. “Part of it is because I had so much luck around wearing that number, wearing it for England, wearing it for Manchester United. It was such an influential number throughout my career, and a lucky number, but that wasn’t the main reason.”

So what was? “It symbolizes spiritual perfection, Seven Wonders of the World, seven colors of the rainbow, and in so many cultures around the world, it’s regarded as a lucky number,” he explained. “We love the name. We love Harper Seven.”

Their daughter’s first name, Harper, was a beloved “old English name,” he explained. Also, Victoria’s favorite book, the classic American novel To Kill a Mockingbird, was written by author Harper Lee.

[From Us Weekly]

Posh's favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird, one of the most classic American novels of all time? First, that's nice, if it's true. I love TKAM, it's one of my favorite books, and there's a reason everyone always names it as their favorite: it's a beautifully written piece of literature. Second, as Lainey pointed out, at one point, Posh claimed she never reads books. Like, ever. Maybe she was just misquoted, maybe she finally got around to reading a book and it was TKAM. I don't know. But if Posh just named her daughter Harper to seem fancy and like she reads books…ugh. She would have been better off naming the kid Birkin. Or Vogue. Or Manolo.

Photos courtesy of Posh's Twitter, David's Facebook & Fame.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Cele|bitchy

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