Cele|bitchy

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• “Alexander Skarsgard is really sweet with a child actor” links
• Princess Charlene has “banned” Albert from seeing any of his baby-mamas
• Hulk Hogan spent his 58th birthday looking at nude photos of his daughter

“Alexander Skarsgard is really sweet with a child actor” links Posted: 12 Aug 2011 11:20 AM PDT This little girl has found the great love of her life. No one else will compare. [Pop Sugar] Rest in peace, Jani Lane. [Dlisted] Chris Martin respects Justin Timberlake (as a musician). [LaineyGossip] What is it with closeted gay Republicans & Craigslist stranger dongs? [Gawker] Jennifer Aniston is a bad actress?!? Haha. [Pajiba] I don't get this look, Lea Michele. I don't understand it. [Go Fug Yourself] Gisele Bundchen and her little guy at the beach. [Yeeeah] The chick beside Christina Ricci has amazing skin. [I'm Not Obsessed] An Eddie Murphy/Ben Stiller movie that actually has a plot! [ICYDK] Ah, Angelina choppered to Cornwall to see Brad (booty call). [A Socialite Life] Khloe Kardashian does something for Make A Wish. [Evil Beet] Ben Stiller's See Jennifer Aniston Naked Foundation commercial. [The Frisky] 50 Cent really has a thing for 50-something blondes. First Chelsea Handler, and now Goldie Hawn. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?] Blind items! I want #3 to be Bradley Cooper. Bitch! [CDAN] Bert & Ernie are not boning, y'all. [PopBytes] I loved Jon Stewart's take down of Megyn Kelly last night. [Jezebel]

Princess Charlene has “banned” Albert from seeing any of his baby-mamas Posted: 12 Aug 2011 10:31 AM PDT We might have an explanation for Princess Charlene's surprisingly “together” behavior at last weekend's Red Cross ball in Monte Carlo. If you remember, Charlene actually looked halfway decent, and she didn't look like she had spent the last 72 hours locked in some bathroom, sobbing her eyes out. Of course, she still looked kind of drugged out, in my opinion, but she was lucid enough to dance with Prince Albert and not vomit, so… SUCCESS! Anyway, The Mail's sources claim that Charlene's functioning appearance last weekend was the result of her laying down the law on Albert: no more new baby-mamas and no more old baby-mamas up in Charlene's grill. No more screwing around. No more running off to the Whore Yacht (I think that's a thing). Their marriage famously began under a cloud when Princess Charlene fled Monaco two days before the wedding after learning of her husband’s lovechild. But after finally putting on a show of unity last week, Prince Albert has been given pretty clear demands from his wife if their new love is to last. Jealous Princess Charlene, 33, has banned her playboy husband from coming into contact with his legion of ex-lovers. Under his new strict instructions, the famously wayward 53-year-old will not be allowed to contact Nicole Coste, the Togo air hostess who fathered Albert’s third lovechild during his engagement to Charlene. After being ‘talked down’ by palace officials, the couple married in July before being hit by further claims they spent a night in separate hotels on their honeymoon. But the Princess is now reported to be stamping her authority on her new husband, who already has two illegitmate children. Paris Match magazine revealed this week that the former South African Olympic swimmer had Ms Coste, struck off the guest list to Monaco’s lavish Red Cross ball. Ms Coste is the mother of Albert’s six-year-old love-child Alexandre. He has another daughter Jazmin, 19, born after a brief affair with American estate agent Tamara Rotola. In both cases, DNA tests were needed before Albert admitted he was the father, and agreed to pay for their upbringings. A source close to the Monaco Royal palace told Paris Match: ‘Charlene had to tolerate the presence of Ms Coste during last year’s Red Cross ball when they were engaged. But now they are married, she has put her foot down and had Ms Coste struck off the guest list. She does not want to give her the status of a privileged guest at an official function, and does not want Albert to consort socially with any of his previous lovers.’ Rumours of a marriage rift - which the couple have strongly denied - erupted after reports that Charlene had bolted for Nice airport two days before their wedding. French magazine L’Express said she had discovered Albert had had a third lovechild during their relationship. It also reported that he had undergone a DNA before jetting off on honeymoon to Durban. Charlene spoke earlier this year about her ‘loneliness’ in Monaco, and added: ‘I only have two people I consider friends here.’ Monaco insiders told the French media last month that a ‘deal’ had been brokered between the Prince and his reluctant bride after she fled to ensure she provides her new husband with a legitimate heir. Under Monaco’s constitution neither of Albert’s children can take the throne because they were born out of wedlock. One source added: ‘Charlene will provide an heir, then if things don’t go well, she will receive a generous divorce settlement once she’s served a decent amount of time.’ Before he met Charlene four years ago, Albert dated dozens of the world’s most famous and beautiful women, including Angie Everhart, Brooke Shields, and supermodel Claudia Schiffer. He also battled persistent rumors he was gay. Monaco government spokesman said that once he met Charlene, Albert knew he had finally found the woman he wanted to provide an heir. The spokesman told France’s high society Point de Vue magazine last year: ‘Charlene has beauty and style, and we are all praying that she will ensure the royal succession in our principality. Albert has never settled down in the past, but knows that the time is now right to produce the next ruler of Monaco.’ [From The Mail] 1. I can't believe Albert has the gall to invite his baby-mama around his fiancé/wife. WTF? 2. Don't call Charlene "jealous". It's not "jealousy". It's "being devastated to learn that the man you married is a womanizing son of bitch, and you were forced to marry him because his henchmen stole your passport." 3. I'd be willing to bet that this most recent paternity debacle, the one that came up right before the wedding, did turn out to be Prince Albert's kid. I think he's paying a lot of money to keep the whole thing quiet. 4. Poor Charlene. 5. Seriously, what is the problem with Andrea taking the throne? He seems like a nice enough young man, and getting Albert a legit heir is proving to be more trouble than it's worth. 6. WTF is up with Caroline? She's like "FML." Photos courtesy of WENN.

Hulk Hogan spent his 58th birthday looking at nude photos of his daughter Posted: 12 Aug 2011 09:56 AM PDT Hulk Hogan celebrated his 58th birthday last night by taking his 20-something blonde girlfriend to see his 20-something blonde daughter's nude photo exhibit. You think I'm joking. I'm not. Ordinarily, I'd rather eat death than write about Hulk Hogan or anyone vaguely related to Hulk Hogan, but this was simply too ridiculous to pass up. Brooke Hogan had posed for a photo series called, I kid you not, "Women In Cages". It was sponsored by PETA, because… you know, animals are kept in cages, so how best illustrate that point than by getting Brooke to take off her clothes and pose inside a cage? For real. And her dad came out to see it, on his birthday! Because what father wouldn't want that for his birthday? And there's all of the kissy-faces that Brooke always makes around her dad. Okay, surely someone is with me? This is gross, right? I'm not the most physical person, especially with my parents, so maybe that's why this is so gross to me. But I cannot imagine being an adult woman and making kissy-faces at my father. By the way, Hulk recently called into a BBC radio show, and he had some thoughts on the London riots: “I just heard what’s going on in the streets, man, and I thought just maybe Hulkamania should run over there, start dropping legs, start hitting people with big boots and just stop the action. Let’s rethink, brother, rethink this whole thing and get these kids together and change their thinking in a positive direction and break the cycle of this craziness of where they were raised and where they’re at. Everyone’s got a story, which is ‘So what?’ but what now? That’s what needs to be done. Change the direction of the youth over there. Everybody wants the kids to get back on track. It doesn’t matter if Hulk Hogan’s over there, body-slamming all the youth like I did Andre the Giant. But at the end of the day we need to grab these kids, shake ‘em and say stop. Just regroup - look at yourself in the mirror and say, ‘Is this what you want the mirror image of your life to be? Is this what you want your destiny to be?’ Now it’s time to change directions, even if the state has to step in and really focus on getting these kids back on track, brother, but you know what? I will do anything, because I love my UK Hulkamaniacs, brother.” [From Digital Spy] I can't. I won't even start. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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