Thursday, August 25, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy


Do you love Pauley Perrette? Do you love her even more with puppies?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 09:41 AM PDT

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These are new photos of Pauley Perrette, one of the stars of NCIS, at last night's Patterns for Paws event in West Hollywood. Do you watch NCIS? I watch NCIS. I watch the marathons on USA, and I watch the new episodes on CBS. It's the only CBS show I watch, because whenever I switch over to CBS, I feel like I've just added 20 years to my age. Oh, well. I'm an old fart, and I love NCIS. I love Mark Harmon, I love Cote de Pablo, and I especially love Pauley "Abby" Perrette. You wouldn't think that Pauley, with her dyed jet-black hair, thick bangs, dozens of tattoos, piercings and God knows what else would be so popular. But the character she plays is so appealing, and Pauley herself seems like such a lovely woman, people just fall for her. EVERYBODY loves her. Literally:

For anyone who can't get enough of those feisty naval investigators, this information should not come as a surprise: The most popular actor in primetime right now is NCIS' Pauley Perrette!

That's according to the latest Q Ratings, a survey taken a few times a year to judge who are the most popular stars, based on audience awareness. In fact, NCIS actors occupy most of the top slots, save Nathan Fillion, the star of ABC's Castle. The geek god is ranked No. 6.

So who's after No. 1? Next up is Cote de Pablo, who plays Ziva on the CBS drama. No. 3 is Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory, No. 4 is NCIS lead Mark Harmon, No. 5 is David McCallum (Dr. Donald Mallard), and No. 7 is Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, aka Michael Weatherly.

Q ratings come in handy when networks want to gauge whether an actor is worth the time (and money) to cast and/or keep on the payroll. So expect at least 20 more seasons of NCIS. Kidding! (We think).

[From EW]

Would you like to have your mind blown? Pauley is 42 years old. 42!!! I think the Abby character is supposed to be about 30, and even then, Pauley sometimes seems too "young". She has such a great face, and she's one of the rare women who looks really great with bangs. And she looks great with puppies too:

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Dakota Fanning’s NYU enrollment & email leaked by curious, stalking students

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 08:43 AM PDT

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Back in June, we reported that Dakota Fanning had graduated high school and was, in all likelihood, planning to attend NYU for the upcoming fall semester. Well, thanks to a loophole in NYU’s email system, the students who run the NYULocal website have confirmed Dakota’s status as an enrolled student. Further, the publication has revealed to anyone with access to the NYU email system just how easy it is to locate Dakota’s student email address. If I were Dakota, I’d be more than a little creeped out by this over-enthusiastic, warm welcome:

Dakota Fanning has been found out by her fellow students.

The 17-year-old star of “The Runaways” will be attending New York University beginning this fall — and a loophole in the university’s email system confirmed it.

Student-run website nyulocal.com followed up on the actress’ visit to the school last spring by using NYU’s email system, which allows students to search for one another by name.

Typing in “Dakota Fanning” revealed the star’s new @nyu.com email address and made it clear that she’ll be landing in New York City for the coming school year.

Fanning won’t be the only famous face on campus. Currently, “The Sixth Sense” star Haley Joel Osment attends the university as do former Disney stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse.

And there are plenty of famous alumni as well: James Franco attended, Alec Baldwin once studied there and comedian Aziz Ansari graduated in 2004.

Welcome to New York, Dakota! And if you like school, just remember that it’s easy enough for celebrity students to stick around and teach.

[From NYDailyNews]

In this day and age, the hunting and gathering of a celebrity’s email address isn’t entirely unexpected, but this still reminds me of that time when Emma Watson was stalked by Harvard jackasses after she first arrived at Brown University. However, I think once the initial rush of having Dakota at NYU will soon wear off, and it should be easier for her to blend in at NYU (which doesn’t have a traditional campus layout and is spread out in various locations throughout Manhattan) than it would be at most other universities. The positive thing here, of course, is that Dakota’s starting college; and she’ll hopefully do as well for herself there as she did in high school. Also, there is apparently an option for NYU students to “opt out” of the email directory, so Dakota needs to do so, like, yesterday.

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Photos courtesy of Fame

Charlize Theron says she “wants a baby” & she’s open to adoption

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 08:28 AM PDT

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Did you know that there's a German edition of In Touch Weekly? I didn't. Well, Charlize gave an interview to the German edition (I guess…?) and Charlize talks BABIES. She's talked about babies before, of course. Back in 2009, when she was with Stuart Townsend, she said: "I've always known that I wanted to be a mom. I love children. I've always loved children. But I'm not like, 'Oh my god, I really must have kids right now.' I've never felt this pressing urge that some biological clock is ticking. We both want to be parents one day, but I've no idea when that will be." And then when Charlize had her little thing with Ryan Reynolds - what it was, it only lasted a month or two - the rumor going around was that Charlize was all "I WANT BABIES" and Ryan was all "Um, we've only been dating for a hot minute." Some of you didn't believe that version of events, but this new interview with Charlize definitely shows that she's got babies on the brain:

The actress has been single since ending her brief fling with Ryan Reynolds earlier this month, but she's not about to let her solo status stop her starting a family!

Single Charlize Theron is so desperate to start a family, she's considering following in the footsteps of Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie and Denise Richards and adopting a baby!

"I want a baby," Charlize coos in an interview with Germany's In Touch magazine. "If it would happen tomorrow I would still be very happy about it."

The 36-year-old South African ended her nine-year relationship with Irish actor Stuart Townsend in 2010. She dated Ryan Reynolds earlier this summer, before that romance fizzled out — leaving Charlize single again.

But she has no problem adopting and raising her baby as a single mom, adding, "Why not? I'm open to everything in life."

[From Holly Baby]

So… that doesn't make it sound like she's actively seeking out a baby, like she's already started the adoption process or she's looking for donors or something. It just sounds more like, "I'd really like a baby, that would be nice. And a Caesar salad, thank you. How does one go about acquiring those things?" But if Charlize wants to be a mom, more power to her. I hope it happens for her.

Oh, and I thought she was pregnant back in June, but I now think it was just a bad dress.

By the way, here's the teaser commercial for Charlize's new J'Adore Dior campaign. I like her outfit in this spot:

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Pippa Middleton is doing a “trial marriage” (British-speak for “shacking up”)

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 07:53 AM PDT

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Here are some new photos of Pippa Middleton in London from the past few days. Even though I don't think Pippa Middleton is anything special (or interesting), I get a little tired of everyone saying that she's fug. She's not. She has angles where she's really pretty, and angles where she's just sort of average-looking. I think she looks like a average-pretty girl who tries to emphasize her positives and take care of herself. She fake-bakes too much, her style is pretty bad, and she shouldn't go so long between waxes (or she should invest in a slip), but overall, I think she's attractive. And I'll give the Middleton sisters one thing: although I don't usually care for their style, they both have great taste in jackets and coats. I love this grey coat Pippa is wearing. I would wear the hell out of it.

Anyway, here's the random Pippa story today - she and her on-again boyfriend Alex Loudon are having a "trial marriage". Meaning that they're just shacking up together without getting engaged. In other words, "The Duchess Kate Nine-Year Plan".

Pippa Middleton’s parents had better think twice about putting their wedding outfits into storage.

We can reveal that, hot on the heels of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s big day, little sister daughter Pippa, 27, is getting very serious with long- term boyfriend Alex Loudon.

Though she’s been linked to Prince Harry and pursued by Hollywood hottie Justin Timberlake, Pippa’s made it clear Alex is the only man for her.

She’s moved her vast collection of wedge heels into the investment banker’s pad as part of her plan to see if they’re ready to take the next step.

'They’re experimenting with a “trial marriage” to find out how they cope with living together - so far, so good,’ says our source.

[From Now Magazine]

I would love to know what went down with Pippa and George Percy. She hasn't been spotted with him in a while, not since she did the walk of shame in the wee hours of the morning after spending the night with him, at his place, back in June. My theory is that Percy's parents, the Duke and Duchess of Northumberland, put the kibosh on their son spending any serious time with a Middleton upstart. I know, I know - Pippa and George already dated, back at university. But Pippa dated every eligible dude back then, and now she's the sister of the future queen. It's different!

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

US Weekly’s Aniston ‘baby countdown’ story, did her rep sign off on it?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 07:52 AM PDT

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I get that you guys think that I’m jumping to spurious conclusions or whatever by assuming that Aniston’s rep plants or at least signs off on a lot of these stories about her. When that junk is in US Weekly, though, it makes me wonder. They’ve run a ton of very in depth Aniston-friendly stories lately. US has even been touting the Aniston-camp version of the timeline of her relationship with Justin Theroux too, and at least at one point was trying to smooth over those homewrecking rumors that his ex girlfriend mom’s pretty much confirmed.

So two weeks ago US ran a cover story about how Aniston and Theroux were trying for a baby. That must have been a good seller for them because they have a very similar story this week about Jen’s Baby Countdown. It’s kind of ridiculous to me, but it’s standard tabloid fare. Here’s a little of US’ story.

Jennifer Aniston - in attendance [at an anniversary party for Ellen and Portia] “wasn’t drinking alcohol,” says one partygoer of the star, who is usually spotted at parties clutching a cocktail. “And she looked pregnant. People were noticing and talking about it like it was a fact.”

If the actress has her way, it will be soon. After six years of broken relationships, the star knows she’s found The One…

“She has been telling those close to her that this is the year she’s going to get pregnant,” says a friend of the 42-year-old actress…

“The plan is to get pregnant this summer, said the friend…”

“[Theroux] is 100 percent on board - the last few months they have been in baby-making mode.”

[From US Weekly, print edition, September 5, 2011]

Then they go on to give circumstantial evidence that Jen is either pregnant or really close to being pregnant. She slept late on her Hawaiian vacation, she skipped breakfast once “because just the thought of food turned her stomach,” and she quit smoking and drinking. Plus she’s supposedly gained a little weight. Then the article mentioned that she’s moving into a new home with Theroux in L.A. that they just bought. It’s all very Aniston-friendly and touts how great and perfect her relationship is.

Life & Style has another Aniston pregnancy story. They’re claiming “It’s Twins!” Only as Jezebel explains, the real article is all about how Aniston wants to get pregnant with twins. Typical, and very familiar.

In March I did a recap of past Aniston fake pregnancy cover stories, so given the latest rumors I would recommend that you revisit those for some sh*ts and giggles. (I would include them here but with the other two recent tabloid covers it could get confusing.) The Aniston pregancy rumors go way back, and she’s been pregnant or adopting or rumored to be pregnant ever since the triangle started.

So is this US Weekly thing a kind of nod to those covers, like an acknowledgement that the rumors only help Aniston’s career? She’ll tell you in interviews how much she wants kids, so I think the answer is “yes.” There are a couple of other possibilities. Either US is making this story up because Aniston pregnancy covers sell or she really is pregnant and her people are trying to prepare us. That would be a shocker after all the years of tabloids crying wolf.

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Tabloid covers via Jezebel Other photos from 7/20/11 at the UK Horrible Bosses premiere. Credit: WENN.com

Linnocent is “just like Marilyn Monroe” according to Linnocent

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 07:18 AM PDT

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Linnocent thinks she's just like Marilyn Monroe. She's always been obsessed with the tragic actress, and it's just… gross. I don't even feel like sarcastically going through the comparisons. Marilyn was a very talented comedic and dramatic actress, adored by the world. She was truly vulnerable and sweet and kind of crazy and everybody - men and women - loved her. She appealed to many demographics, she had big romances, and she died suddenly, alone in her home at the age of 36, after a full and varied career in film. Linnocent is a crackhead who hasn't had a real acting job in years, and very few people like her, adore her or even have a twinge of sympathy for her. She's a narcissist, and most of the time, I only worry about the people around her who might be harmed during one of her meltdowns. So, when it came time to ask someone to write a forward to a new Marilyn Monroe book, I guess the publisher thought it would be funny to ask Linnocent. It's just sad.

It is no secret that Lindsay Lohan has been trying to channel Marilyn Monroe for a long time — she even recreated Bert Stern's 'Last Sitting' for New York magazine back in 2008. But now the young actress is actually comparing herself to the screen legend in a forward she wrote for Susan Bernard's new book, Marilyn: Intimate Exposures.

"Marilyn was the beautiful bad girl in that tight, rose-colored dress. The character she played was strong and taking control, which I unconsciously knew at that young age [12] was a necessary quality for a woman." Lindsay writes. "I can understand the photographer Bernard of Hollywood's [Bruno Bernard] statement, 'it took a superhuman effort to be Marilyn.' I identify."

But Lohan doesn't stop there when it come to drawing the similarities between herself and the bombshell icon.

"People in their mind have created who I am and act as if there is no real person inside of me. Just like Marilyn," Lindsay continues. "Marilyn never wanted to be just a celebrity. Neither do I … I had always thought that movie stars were in films that would last forever in your mind. But now the films don't. I don't want to be remembered as someone who just wanted to be photographed, who goes out at night, and gets in trouble."

Just like Monroe, Lohan wants to be loved for her talent rather than her infamy.

"Heath Ledger once said to me, 'It's built you up to knock you down and that's all it is,'" adds Lohan. "Marilyn said she had no foundation. But she said she was really working on it. I've been trying to do the same thing … I believe in myself and I'm a good actress."

[From PopBytes]

There isn't a BITCH PLEASE big enough for this crackhead. Truly. To not only invoke Marilyn in the same breath as herself - that's bad enough. But to bring Heath Ledger into it? Why? Just to remind people that she KNEW Heath?

What's scary is that this really is a glimpse into how Linnocent sees herself, and the dichotomy between Linnocent's view of herself and the reality of how the world sees her. It's stark. And sad.

UPDATE: Oh, and there’s this story about Linnocent and Steven Soderbergh, who refused to hire LL as a stripper on Magic Mike.

“Her people called up, begging Steven to say it wasn’t true,” says a source thisclose to SS. “He said no.”

He said no to that request because it is true, of course.

In fact, we hear that Linds was S.S.’s top pick to play the part (he thought she’d be perfect for it), but after approaching the party gal (and her peeps, too) about a potential big screen comeback role, decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble.

[From E! News]

Because who cares? I mean, it’s Linnocent. No one even cares enough to deny that she’s a mess.

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Archive NY Magazine photos of Linnocent trying to be Marilyn.

Christina Aguilera denies abusing her son, Max just likes to “chase squirrels”

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 06:59 AM PDT

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Yesterday, I did a post on Christina Aguilera - go here for the story. It was mostly about how Kim Kardashian wanted Christina to sing at her wedding… for free. Christina refused, of course. Anyway, at the end of the story, I included these strange photos of Christina and her 3-year-old son Max at the airport. I also included Fame Pictures' note that Max seemed to have two black eyes, and that there were "rumors" that Christina might be a bad or abusive mother. Honestly, I thought Fame was just still stirring the pot - little boys get into things, they play rough, and sometimes they get bruised or worse. I thought it was unfair to automatically assume that Christina was, like, hitting her kid or whatever. I think she's a boozehound monster, but I won't even consider the idea that she's hitting her child.

Well, Christina and her people were pissed off that so many people were muttering "abusive" when they saw the photos. So they sent "sources" out to tell TMZ and Us Weekly: "Any reports stating she isn’t a good mom are incorrect. The reports are actually disgusting. Christina is an amazing mom. Max is a happy playful and active boy who has a loving and safe home.” Sure. But here's the kicker: Max got two black eyes from chasing after… squirrels?

Christina Aguilera is firing back at rumors she’s somehow responsible for a giant bruise on her son’s face — telling friends little Max simply had himself a little fall at the park … chasing squirrels.

The photo was taken yesterday afternoon at LAX — with rumors circulating that Christina’s “erratic behavior and alleged booze-filled outings” somehow contributed to Max’s accident.

But sources tells us, that’s total nonsense — 3-year-old Max was out with his nanny last week, chasing around squirrels … and the kid tripped over a rock and bruised his face.

According to our sources, Max was taken to the doctor immediately and everything was fine. No broken nose, no stitches. Just your average boyhood bruise.

As one source put it, “Christina is a great mom … Max is her #1 priority.”

[From TMZ]

Is that something 3-year-old boys do? Chase after squirrels? I thought it was just dogs. Both TMZ and Us Weekly got the "squirrel" excuse, so obviously, this is the official story: squirrels. Why not just say, "Max was playing in the park and he tripped"?? I don't understand.

So you know how I just defended Christina's honor as a NOT abusive mother? Here's the kicker: Christina being such a boozehound is another form of abuse. If Christina is drinking as much and as often as I think she is, then it is affecting her as a parent, and in the years to come, it will be a form of emotional abuse for Max. I'm just sayin'.

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

Joe Manganiello’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About”: crush killer or interesting?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 06:56 AM PDT

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Back when I was dating, I had a rule to avoid guys who were so into Ayn Rand that they mentioned it on the first date. Like it was fine if they read some of her books, but if they read them and ascribed to her philosophy so thoroughly that they were preaching to me about it, that was a deal breaker. This was after a hot guy tried to pick me up at a bar and then proceeded to spend the next 40 minutes telling me about Objectivism like he was doing me a favor. From then on, I considered a strong interest in Rand a warning sign that the guy was annoying, and that rule served me well a couple of times afterwards.

(Disclosure: I read half of Atlas Shrugged at one point, but found it interminable. This was years ago, and maybe I didn’t “get” it.) So it’s disappointing to me that “True Blood” hottie Joe Manganiello just has to mention in his “25 Things You Don’t Know About Me” profile that The Fountainhead is his absolute favorite book. Really? He’s never read a better book than that? I don’t care what kind of abs he has, I’m getting a flashback to my 21 year-old self, stuck in the bar with that dude who looked promising until he tried to convert me to Rand’s “amazing” philosophy. I think I was so bored my mouth was hanging open. Mangy’s other 24 things seem to be about his various accomplishments, and it’s less interesting than boasting. Is he one of those guys who talks endlessly about himself? Maybe that’s unfair given that he’s supposed to do that here. Still, I’m not impressed.

1. I am excellent at knife-throwing.
2. My eyes are so bad, they can’t be corrected by laser surgery.
3. I made the junior Olympic volleyball team when I was 16.
4. I worked as a roadie for the rock band Goldfinger.
5. I was an altar boy.
6. I once planned on playing college basketball and joining the FBI.
7. I love Disneyland.
8. I was asked to skip two grades in elementary school but chose not to.
9. I shaved my head twice and got my front teeth pulled out for stage roles in college.
10. I sang backup on one of The Used’s albums.
11. I love karaoke.
12. My favorite city is Venice, Italy.
13. My favorite movie is Fight Club.
14. My first concert was Pantera.
15. I won third place in a chess tournament when I was 6.
16. I got a 750 on the mat portion of the SATs.
17. I am a die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan.
18. I trained as a boxer and was a sparring partner for an NHL player.
19. At age 16 I got paid to dress up like Captain Morgan at abrs.
20. My favorite play is A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennesse Williams.
21. Last summer, I caught a touchdown pass from Joe Montana in a charity game.
22. My favorite book is The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.
23. I appeared full frontal nude in an off-Broadway play.
24. I have a bachelor of fine arts degree in classical theater.
25. When I was young, I prayed that God would turn me into a werewolf.

[From US Weekly, print edition, September 5, 2011]

The rest of the “25 Things” are mildly interesting. Like he seems like he’s had various interesting experiences. They sound braggy though, and I know that’s the nature of these lists but the posturing seems obvious to me. Maybe it’s the Rand connection, which that one guy ruined for me that fateful night. I hope he grew out of it. It strikes me that Manganiello hasn’t read much if that’s his favorite book of all time. Maybe Kaiser is right about him. Hot but dumb. I’m so team Eric now. I would still like to see full frontal pictures of the guy on stage though, if they exist.

Photo above is from from 8/23/11. He’s just not doing it for me anymore! (credit: Fame) He’s also show strategically trying to remove his sunglasses in London on 8/3/11. (credit: WENN) And shirtless from GQ

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Jim Carrey declares his love for Emma Stone: creepy or harmless?

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 06:55 AM PDT

I saw this video (^above^) last night, and it really creeped me out. At first, I only read the transcript, and I thought, "Oh, that's not so bad. Jim Carrey is just declaring his love for a young actress, it's kind of sweet. Everyone loves Emma Stone and her vagina dust ruffles." But then I saw the video, and… NO, it's just creepy. Jim Carrey put the camera right up to his face, the way you would if you were making a hostage plea or a suicidal rant. Plus, I have discomfort because I worry about Jim's mental health, and this kind of thing piques my concern-troll. Here's the transcript:

I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. We’d laugh all day long and go camping and play Yahtzee and tell ghost stories by the fire. And the sex?

Everyday for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you. But I’m not. I’m 49. I have lines on my face, sometimes a little grey in my beard, and it takes me a little longer to pee than it used to. Those are the only discernable signs of aging that I can find so far. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I felt. You’re pretty special, and I wish you continued success and artistic fulfillment, but most of all, I wish you love and contentment. That’s all.

[Via HuffPo]

He's 49, she's 22. What would you do if some dude 27 years older than you made a vlog about how he wanted to get you pregnant? Would you alert the authorities? Or would you just laugh it off as harmless? I do think it's harmless, by the way. Like, Emma's not in any danger, and Jim's interest in her, while creepy, is inoffensive. I don't know… I would probably take it as a compliment and just move on. Which is what Emma will probably do, I guess.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

Brad Pitt’s attractive assistant, Lara Marsden, gets the tabloid once-over

Posted: 25 Aug 2011 06:44 AM PDT

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I'm not trying to start another WAR about Brad Pitt and his assistant. Too many of you threw fits when I dared to suggest that a young, attractive assistant might need to be reassigned from her Brad Pitt duties on the set of World War Z. Y'all defended this girl's honor, saying that she's just doing her job, no one should be fired (I never said she should be fired), and Brad would never cheat. It was a difference in opinions, let's just say that. Personally, I think Brad would and could cheat, and I don't think he or any other man is above feeling like they "deserve" a little strange. Just because I think Brad could cheat, doesn't mean he is, and doesn't mean he is with this assistant, whose name is Lara Marsden. My point was lost amongst the Brangeloonie warriors - so I'll try to clarify: Angelina makes the effort to avoid looking "too friendly" with other men, because she knows the gossip, and she pays attention to the gossip. I think she also avoids looking "too friendly" out of respect for Brad, who she adores. Why can't Brad do the same?

Anyway, as I predicted given the new photos of Brad and Lara Marsden over the past week, the tabloids are really giving this girl the once-over. So now we know even more about her. According to OK! Magazine:

The mag has discovered the truth about Brad Pitt’s “mystery woman,” otherwise known as his assistant. Lara Marsden, a fetching 25-year-old, is constantly by Brad’s side — because that’s her job. The editors raided her MySpace page and discovered that she bites her nails, declares, “[I] don’t read books,” and once wrote on a boyfriend’s wall, “We’ve f-cked more times than there are drops of water in the sea.” Her mother must be so embarrassed … that she still has a MySpace page.

[From Hollywood Life & Jezebel]

Here's one of Lara's MySpace photos - she's a pretty girl. Doesn't she look like Jennifer Morrison, formerly on House? You can see even more photos of her here, at The Superficial.

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Here are more pics of Brad on set in Scotland. You know what's weird? Brad has been getting pap'd constantly on the Scottish set, and Lara Marsden hasn't been photographed at his side in DAYS. Interesting. It's almost like Angelina ordered Brad to get the young hottie reassigned. Weird. So, obviously, Brad's probably trying to bone this soldier/actress:

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Photos courtesy of Fame, Pacific Coast News.

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