Cele|bitchy

Prince Harry, Prince Charles & Camilla celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee
Julianne Hough wears red Kaufmanfranco to the CFDAs: sexy & pretty?
Lindsay Lohan is already falling out of her dress while filming ‘Liz & Dick’. Of course.
Is Halle Berry’s plan to move to Paris coming together, or is she delusional about it?
Duchess Kate wears soft pink McQueen for Jubilee church trip: lovely?
Kristen Stewart on Vanity Fair: “I’m a weirdo, creative Valley Girl who smokes pot”
Lindsay Lohan channels a cracked-out version of Liz Taylor: horrible & offensive?
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen in The Row at the CFDAs: not all that bad, really?
Kate Winslet covers Vanity Fair Italia: “I am sincerely grateful for my buttocks”
Maggie Smith got an American producer of ‘Downton Abbey’ fired, just because

Prince Harry, Prince Charles & Camilla celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 08:21 AM PDT

We have 20 million new photos of the royal family and the Diamond Jubilee celebrations, and there are plenty more yet to come (the royal family on the balcony!). I'm at a loss for how to organize this stuff, so this post is just a compilation of photos I enjoy, mostly of the Queen and Prince Harry, and some of Camilla (Duchess of Cornwall) and Prince Charles. I already covered some of the new Duchess Kate photos here.

Queen Elizabeth had to go "solo" for yesterday's Jubilee concert and today's church visit because Prince Philip had to go into the hospital. He has a bladder infection and apparently, it's pretty rough stuff – especially for a man of 91 years (his birthday is Sunday). Allegedly, Philip is "desperately upset" that he has missed his wife's celebrations, but he is recovering nicely. And I kind of like how it wasn't even a question as to whether or not the Queen would cancel her celebration – of course she would NOT. So the Queen was forced to spend more time with her son, the Prince of Wales, and his wife, Camilla. Camilla even sat next to the Queen during the carriage ride from the church to the Palace. Poor Queen Elizabeth.

I'm also including lots of photos of Harry, just because he's super-cute and GINGER THUNDER and all of that.

PS… Do you think Camilla's hat is big enough?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Julianne Hough wears red Kaufmanfranco to the CFDAs: sexy & pretty?

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 08:08 AM PDT

Julianne Hough fared much better last night at the CFDAs than in the midriff-bearing black number she wore to the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday evening. Here she looked both boobtastic and sophisticated in a fire-engine red Kaufmanfranco stretch-crepe gown. It’s rather unusual for Julianne to show so much skin in the upper-body area, but she looks sexy enough here without coming off as trashy. Julianne also went low key in the accessory department with only diamond drop earrings and a gold clutch to mix things up and not draw too much attention from the main attraction. She looks great here with the smoky eyes and slightly messy updo. This is a fashion win for Julianne.

Selita Ebanks fared slightly worse in the gown department, and I’m not really sure what she was going for other than a Vegas red carpet vibe. Her white and gold dress is both matronly and boob squishing, and this reminds me of something that Ivana Trump might wear. Seleta is so, so pretty though, and that makes this dress even more unfortunate. Perhaps an updo might have helped? Oh who am I kidding — not much could disguise the existence of this gown.

Kyra Sedgwick walked the red carpet like a pro in this black pantsuit that might have had the likes of Tilda Swinton drooling in envy. Of course, Kyra doesn’t quite have the fashion presence of Tilda, but Kyra is also no slouch in the poise department. She looks classy and lovely here too. Love the silver, peep-toe sandals.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Lindsay Lohan is already falling out of her dress while filming ‘Liz & Dick’. Of course.

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 07:44 AM PDT

Some of you dismissed my earlier Lindsay Lohan post – you seemed to think that my "offensive" label was somehow too hysterical for what amounted to Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor in a movie-of-the-week. It's true – this is for Lifetime, and it's extremely budget. But even in the world of budget MOTWs, surely they could have found someone else to play Elizabeth Taylor? Someone less crackie, someone with some acting skills, someone who wasn't going to flash her crack nips the first chance she got. Yes, these are even more photos of Lindsay filming Liz & Dick on that same boat in LA. And yes, Lindsay's boobs fell out of her dress during filming. Repeatedly. Almost as if she knew the paparazzi were there, chronicling her every move? CB pixilated some of the nip-shots so you don't have to worry about seeing anything that we haven't seen a million times before.

Also, some of you were fighting me about the fact that she's wearing a really busted wig. Apparently, TMZ got the "tip" that Lindsay had "reluctantly" cut and dyed her hair to look more like Elizabeth. Um… then why is Lindsay's "hair" different lengths in different photos? She might have dyed her hair – in fact, she probably did – but she's still wearing wigs and hairpieces. And they are really, really cheap.

In other Cracken news, Radar is reporting that Lindsay went to a party last week with her ex-girlfriend Courtenay Semel. LL and Semel dated back in 2006-07, before LL got with Samantha Ronson. Semel is a total sketchball, of course, and she tried to get famous from her association with LL, and she used to date Tila Tequila too. And now LL has let Semel back into her life. Because why not?

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Pacific Coast News.

Is Halle Berry’s plan to move to Paris coming together, or is she delusional about it?

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 07:41 AM PDT

This news came out yesterday, but I wanted to listen to TMZ’s explanation of this complicated story and it took me a little while. They covered this on TMZ live yesterday (it’s in the first part of this video) and I think they did a great job of explaining it clearly, along with all the legal issues. As you know, Halle Berry has been gunning to move to France, against the wishes of her daughter Nahla’s birth father, Gabriel Aubry. TMZ head Harvey Levin explained why Halle is likely to be allowed to move to France by the judge presiding over her custody case, essentially taking Nahla away from her dad. Levin sounded much more balanced in his viewpoint this time around, and he admitted that it was messed up that Halle will probably get to move to France, under the current custody law. It’s all about which custodial parent Nahla is better off with.

A new custody evaluation report supposedly found Halle to be the superior parent. Under the current law in California, a child can move anywhere the custodial parent wants. Now, given Halle’s income she will most likely have to foot the bill for Gabriel to come to Paris to visit Nahla, but she probably doesn’t care. According to TMZ she’s about to get her way.

I’ve transcribed some of TMZ live below. Most of the quotes are from Harvey Levin:

Halle Berry came out the better parent in the custody evaluation report
The custody evaluation report is in. Halle Berry won, the custody evaluator said Halle is the better parent.

Gabriel has “personal issues”
Gabriel has ‘personal issues that prevent him from being the kind of custodial parent that would be secure, and safe and good for Nahla.’ The custody evaluation said it would ‘affect his ability to be responsible for Nahla’ They don’t think he has any problem with how much he loves his daughter, but there’s a couple of personal issues which affect his ability to take responsibility.

The custody evaluation is based on Halle’s allegations!
[The report] is sealed, but it is a long report. The evaluator is addressing a lot of the allegations Halle made. When they went to Europe, Gabriel allegedly neglected the child and the child ended up being in harm’s ways as a result. Not that he wanted to put the child there. According to Halle… and the evaluator, he’s not a great parent in regards to being responsible and ‘on it.’ He loves his kid for sure, and she loves him, but in regards to being a custodial parent, Halle is the better parent.

Why Halle will probably get to move to Paris
The way the law is worded in California, the judge cannot second guess Halle’s [move to France.] The judge cannot say ‘you’re not going to move to France…’ If any parent goes to a custody judge and says ‘I’m moving to Paris [etc]. Whatever they say, the judge has to take it as a fact that that parent is moving. The judge cannot second guess it and say ‘no you can’t.’ She has a right to move, and the judge has to accept it.

Given that, the judge now has to say. ‘Is it in the best interest of Nahla to be with Halle in Paris or Gabriel in Los Angeles.’

Why it doesn’t matter if Halle is out for revenge
Here’s what’s screwed up about this. If Halle did this even out of revenge, and I’m not saying that she did…. she could do it. She could say ‘I’m moving to France,’ and the judge has to accept it.

On how Halle came out in the report
She came out pretty unscathed. They’re looking at her ability to parent the kid. Right now she parents Nahla. It’s not so much whether Halle has issues with relationships, and many people say she does. This is about how she parents the kid. The report, the way it’s been told to me, she is the far superior custodial parent.

Frankly the law is screwed up. That a parent can say “I’m moving somewhere,” even if it’s out of revenge. The judge can’t second guess it [he] has to accept it. All the judge is left with is ‘who’s the better parent.’

On if her paparazzi freakout sealed the deal
This thing with the photographer happened way after the evaluator made his decision. It’s not like Halle has to justify moving. It turns out she doesn’t.

[Transcribed from video on TMZ Live]

Notice how Levin admits that the custody evaluation is sealed, and hedges his comments with “the way it’s been told to me.” This is all Halle’s side of the story, and even Levin now believes that this is unfair and screwed up. Aubry hasn’t said a thing to Radar, his outlet of choice, and he easily could. I’m just hoping that Halle is delusional about her chances, as usual, and that the judge makes some kind of ruling that Nahla will remain under 50/50 custody. Hopefully that would mean that Halle doesn’t have the right to move to France. A ruling is expected in this case at the end of the month.

Photos are from March, April and May. Credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Duchess Kate wears soft pink McQueen for Jubilee church trip: lovely?

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 07:11 AM PDT

The Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations march on. Last night was the big concert, and this morning was the St. Paul's Cathedral visit for something called a Diamond Jubilee Thanksgiving church service or something like that. I'm considering doing a separate post for the Queen and the other royals, but I know everyone loves (to hate on?) Duchess Kate, so these photos are very Kate-centric. We don't have any full-on views of what she wore to last night's concert - you can see some photos of it here. Apparently, it's a 150-pound dress from Whistles.

As for this morning's trip to St. Paul's Cathedral, Duchess Kate wore Alexander McQueen. AGAIN!! At least this one wasn't a repeat, though. Some are saying this dress is "metallic" but really I think it's just a really soft, sweet, flattering beige-rose. This color would look awful on most blondes, but on Kate it kind of works. And Kate still loved lace – if you look closely, this really seems like this dress has a well-cut lace-overlay. I'm not as "in love" with this dress as I was with the red McQueen over the weekend, but I like this fine. It's completely appropriate and pretty, especially for a church service. I even like her Jane Taylor hat/fascinator thing.

Poor William, though. His bald spot is glistening in the sunlight.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kristen Stewart on Vanity Fair: “I’m a weirdo, creative Valley Girl who smokes pot”

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 05:10 AM PDT

Kristen Stewart covers the July issue of Vanity Fair magazine. These are some selected photos from the Mario Testino shoot – thoughts? I've praised Kristen's makeup artist before, and once again, I think her makeup looks great… but I'm gradually coming to the opinion that Kristen simply has a face that "takes" extreme makeup. You know, some girls can't DO dramatic makeup – I'm one of them. I look better when my makeup is natural and "dewy" – not "dramatic". Kristen can pull off extreme makeup looks. I think the little dog on her lap is kind of dumb, though. She's not Paris Hilton. She's not a fashion girl carrying around a little dog in her Birkin.

As for the VF interview… well, VF really went out of their way to release some of the best quotes. It feels like VF is really trying to win over the all-powerful Twihard contingent, especially when Kristen goes off, yelling at her biggest critics (although I don't think she accurately assesses her critics' arguments).

"I have been criticized a lot for not looking perfect in every photograph," Kristen Stewart tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Ingrid Sischy in July's cover story. "I get some serious sh-t about it. I'm not embarrassed about it. I'm proud of it. If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me, or on the carpet, would think, What an actress! What a faker! That thought embarrasses me so much that I look like sh-t in half my photos, and I don't give a f–k. What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, 'She was cool. She had a good time. She was honest.' I don't care about the voracious, starving sh-t eaters who want to turn truth into sh-t. Not that you can say that in Vanity Fair!"

On top of battling personal reluctance, Stewart also struggles with the public's preconceived notions about her personality. "People have decided how they are going to perceive her," Robert Pattinson tells V.F. of Stewart. "No matter how many times she smiles, they'll put in the one picture where she's not smiling."

But for all her nose-thumbing at critics who demand perfection, she looks pretty perfect in the photographs from July's Vanity Fair, in which she poses at locations across Paris in spring's couture for contributing photographer Mario Testino. In some of the most glamorous photographs, Stewart wears haute couture at the ballet, posing with dancer Jérémie Bélingard in a pantless Jean Gaultier corset and dripping in Fabergé diamonds and emeralds, at right.

Of her personal style, she tells us she's evolved into loving wearing "some cool sh-t" from the world's most respected and avant-garde designers, although she wasn't always attuned to the power of fashion. "Look at a picture of me before I was 15. I am a boy. I wore my brother's clothes, dude! Not like I cared that much, but I remember being made fun of because I wasn't wearing Juicy jeans. I didn't even think about it. I wore my gym clothes. But it's not like I didn't care that they made fun of me. It really bothered me. I remember this girl in sixth grade looked at me in gym and was like, 'Oh my God! That's disgusting—you don't shave your legs!"

Now past the initial sting of her harsh childhood critics, Stewart has developed into a wry and at-ease adult, and Sischy caught her in the mood for modest adventures—like when she takes the actress to a quiet, tucked-away table in the back of a Parisian seafood restaurant, where they are offered escargot, a dish that Stewart has never tried. After warily eyeing the snails, she dives right in—washing them down with white wine and bread—and says with a grin, "Pretty good. Though I just don't want to eat a whole plate of them."

Of her life as a major star, she reflects on the moment when she realized that Twilight had changed her life. "You can Google my name and one of the first things that comes up is images of me sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe with my ex-boyfriend and my dog. It was [taken] the day the movie came out. I was no one. I was a kid. I had just turned 18. In [the tabloids] the next day it was like I was a delinquent slimy idiot, whereas I'm kind of a weirdo, creative Valley Girl who smokes pot. Big deal. But that changed my daily life instantly. I didn't go out in my underwear anymore."

For her part, author Sischy sees "something so endearing, so human, about [Stewart's] combination of bravado, kindness, self-preservation, self-assertion, and revved-up fierceness that I found her cheering. Of course, her idealism and drive to tell it as she sees it—the voracious, starving shit eaters be damned!–could be just a product of her youth. She could grow up to be another narcissistic snore, but my sense is that's not in the cards here."

[From Vanity Fair]

In case you missed it, the word of the day was "sh-t". When she was interviewed in Elle, the word of the day was "f-ck". I know she's super-cool and somewhat intelligent (I go back and forth on that), but she really needs to change up her vocabulary. I cuss like a sailor too, but every other word out of my mouth isn't "sh-t" and "f–k". Also: did anyone else not really see Kristen's delineation from "delinquent slimy idiot" and "a weirdo, creative Valley Girl who smokes pot"? Plus, I just don't think anyone should refer to themselves as "a weirdo, creative Valley Girl who smokes pot." That's like Rooney Mara calling herself "aloof".

Here's the Vanity Fair behind-the-scenes video for the K-Stew-stans.

Photos courtesy of Mario Testino/Vanity Fair.

Lindsay Lohan channels a cracked-out version of Liz Taylor: horrible & offensive?

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 04:33 AM PDT

True story – as I glanced through the just-released photos of at our agencies last night, my eye barely stopped on these. You know why? Because I've trained myself to glance through thumbnails like a champ, and my eye only registered "Snooki… ignore." But this is not Snooki. This is Lindsay Lohan. Who does that insult? The Cracken or Snooki?

Anyway, these are photos of Lindsay Lohan filming Liz & Dick in Los Angeles yesterday. I don't know what time frame this is even supposed to be – like, is this when Elizabeth and Richard Burton were still in their "courtship" (while Taylor was still married to Eddie Fisher)? Or is this boat supposed to be Kalizma, the famous yacht that Richard and Elizabeth bought during their first marriage? Unknown.

I'm sort of glad the photos are so blurry and Snooki-tastic. I haven't built up the strength for lots of close-up images of Lindsay's crack-face as she attempts to morph into Elizabeth. TMZ did get their hands on what seemed like an official promotional still from the production - you can see it here. Horrible wig. Horrible colored contact lenses. She really looks absolutely nothing like Elizabeth Taylor. She just looks like a crackhead in a busted wig and a decent costume.

Oh, and Lifetime just released this first official promotional image. Okay, ignore the Cracken for a second – that dude (Grant Bowler) really is channeling Richard Burton, isn't he? I'm worried about poor Grant Bowler. I'm worried that he's going to get high just from nuzzling Lindsay's neck.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen in The Row at the CFDAs: not all that bad, really?

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 04:26 AM PDT

Mary-Kate Olsen dyed her hair! Right? That's MK with the dark hair in the black gown, and Ashley is the blonde in the purple dress? Sure. That's what I'm going with. Anyway, these are new photos of MK and Ashley at last night's CFDAs, definitely the most low-key event as compared to the Met Gala. Both girls wore their own label, The Row. I hate to admit it, but I kind of like Ashley's purple gown. It's nice seeing her in such a beautiful color, and while the gown shows off nothing of her slender figure, I'm imagining this on a pregnant celebrity and I'm liking it. MK's gown is just meh, though. I do like her as brunette, I have to admit. And the twins still spend too much time on the red carpet posing tit-to-tit. It's not cute! But MK and Ashley did have a good night – they won the 2012 Womenswear Designers of the Year for The Row. Congrats.

Rachel Zoe, stylist and designer, was also wearing something from her own collection. I hate the dress, but I'm including these photos with the Olsen ladies because I think of Rachel Zoe as an honorary Olsen. All three women are so, so skinny and all of them hide their bodies in these bulky, oversized clothes. I'm not saying that ALL women need to show off their bodies and wear bandage dresses. I'm not saying that at all. But this oversized hobo-chic look has run its course. Buy some clothes that fit, for the love of God. And considering all of these women are "designers" – surely they can "design" something that fits?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kate Winslet covers Vanity Fair Italia: “I am sincerely grateful for my buttocks”

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 04:25 AM PDT

Kate Winslet covers the new issue of Vanity Fair Italia – this is a new photo shoot and interview, as opposed to something VF Italia jacked from one of their sister publications. I mentioned this in yesterday's links, but I guess I'll say it again: Winslet looks really odd (to me). Of course, this oddness is probably Photoshop, although… in candid photos, Winslet looks pretty much the same as this. Anyway, have you heard? Kate Winslet is an advocate for "normal" women. Here are some highlights from Kate's interview:

Winslet on whether she's bored with talking about body image: "Better say that I’m bored of what it means that we are still here talking about it: it means that nothing has changed. Otherwise, no, I believe it is important to go on insisting that normality is not what we are exposed to. Honestly, among my acquaintances there is no woman wearing XS. No, sorry, there is one: my daughter. The point is that Mia is 11 years old."

On criticism of her shape: ‘It’s one of those things I learned quickly to ignore. Once it was different, it hurt me. When I was twenty I pretended it didn’t bother me, but I felt very bad, I did. In front of journalists and the public I acted superior, but I was dying inside. Now everything is different. It takes time, but you can learn it.'

Getting rid of "the fat girl": “It’s true that you need much time to get rid of the fat girl you once were, but – you know – I am sincerely grateful for my buttocks. Wow, isn’t this a wonderful line?"

On her normal life: "I have always lived an ordinary life, and always will. It’s who and what has to do with my job that makes it "unordinary." I cook, go to the supermarket, pick my children up at school.”

[Via The Mail]

Maybe I'm being oversensitive (it happens) or maybe I'm being too bitchy (that definitely happens), but I find Winslet's whole "I'm a positive body image advocate because I used to be FAT just like you" argument to be so, so patronizing. There are lots of women who struggle with their weight, of course. There are lots of women (the overwhelming majority of women) who are not even close to being a size zero. Why does Kate want to be our patron saint? Because she was chubby in her early 20s and then she remade herself into a sleek, tucked, sucked and plucked Hollywood blonde? If we're really going to have a conversation about body image and the messages actresses send to "normal" women, what does it say when a lovely, curvy-figured woman starts carving herself up and drastically slimming down over the course of a few years? And what does it say to women when Kate Winslet refers to her curvy-figured years as "the fat girl"?

Photos courtesy of Vanity Fair Italia.

Maggie Smith got an American producer of ‘Downton Abbey’ fired, just because

Posted: 05 Jun 2012 04:19 AM PDT

"Bitch, did I stutter?" - Dame Maggie Smith to the world.

I managed to get CB into Downton Abbey last year, I think. I believe CB was one of the few people who enjoyed the second season more than the first. The first season was definitely more BBC "classic" programming – elegant costumes, upstairs-downstairs drama and stiff upper lips. During the second season, it did become much more of a soap opera, for better and for worse. Like, I enjoyed the way Lady Edith and Lady Mary were developed, and Matthew (and his "tingling" lower half) is always a pleasure because Dan Stevens is just so pretty. But there were some really screwed up plotlines and the whole thing with Mr. Bates was just ridiculous there at the end. Throughout it all, only one thing remained solid throughout two seasons: Dame Maggie Smith, playing the Dowager Countess of Grantham, BROUGHT IT HARD. The Dowager Countess is AMAZING. Her plotting, her deviousness, her self-righteousness and humor are always welcome. And the writers always give her the best lines too.

Anyway, in case you had any doubts as to what Dame Maggie brings to the character, I wanted to share this interesting little story. Apparently, one of the producers of Downton Abbey referred to Maggie as "difficult" in an interview. So Maggie Smith HAD THE BITCH FIRED.

She’s a favourite character on Downton Abbey for her sharp wit and not-to-be-messed-with attitude. And it appears that Dame Maggie Smith shares some of the Dowager Countess’s ruthlessness.

The actress, 77, is said to have demanded that US producer Rebecca Eaton be axed from the show. Maggie was reportedly angered when Rebecca called Maggie ‘difficult’.

According to the Mirror, Eaton said in April: 'Maggie Smith is a handful. She’s very difficult.’

Smith was said to be so riled by the accusation that she is apparently unable to work with Eaton in the future. This has naturally caused something of a panic, since Maggie is one of the show’s greatest appeals.

A source told the paper: ‘Maggie made it clear that she no longer wanted to work with her. As a result, Eaton has been asked to stand down from the third series, and her name will be taken off the credits.’

However there appears to have been something of a crossed wires, as a show spokesperson gave a different account,

They said: ‘The credits for series three aren’t finished yet, but it is highly likely that Rebecca Eaton’s name will appear.’

[From The Mail]

Yes, it totally sounds like Maggie pulled rank and had that bloody Yank sent packing. BUGGER OFF YANKS.

The Mail also says that Downtown is due back on air in the UK in the fall, which means America probably won't get it until the winter, or maybe even early 2013. BOO! I have high hopes for Season 3. I think the producers heard some of the complaints about the too-soapy drama and are hopefully re-jiggering the show. Shirley Maclaine is coming aboard as Cora's mother, and mother-in-law to the Earl of Grantham. And SPOILER – I know for sure (sort of) that Lady Mary is definitely marrying Cousin Matthew. I saw photos of the actors filming the wedding scene. GAH!! I can't wait. You know Downton will probably show the wedding night too. It should be epic considering Lady Mary is a wanton slut who boned a dead foreigner, thus ruining her wedding night consummation (and her reputation)!! Of course, Cousin Matthew already knows that. I wonder if he'll still feel tingly down there when it comes time to make a little Crawley heir?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Cele|bitchy

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