Cele|bitchy |
- Will Angelina Jolie direct the film adaptation of ’50 Shades of Grey’?
- Lindsay Lohan’s “comeback” falters: she’s officially off the Gotti film
- Russell Brand asked Katy Perry to remove him from her movie, she said no way
- Kris Humphries’ lawyer tells Kim K lookalike to stop saying she’s his girlfriend
- Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux will work together on SmartWater “short film”
- Enquirer: Natalie Portman embarrassed after failing to calm her fussy, crying baby
- Did Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson have a jealous blow-up in Cannes?
- Nicole Kidman tells Kelly Preston to GTFO of her marriage & come to Nashville
- Ryan Seacrest wants Julianne Hough to move in with him, but she wants a ring
- David & Posh Beckham show off adorably chubby Harper at Disneyland: so cute?
| Will Angelina Jolie direct the film adaptation of ’50 Shades of Grey’? Posted: 08 Jun 2012 08:46 AM PDT
As I mentioned last month, I actually sat down and read 50 Shades of Grey. It was simply awful. I've heard and read criticisms of the book from a standard literary criticism perspective, which I think is unfair – obviously, the book sucks as "literature" but that's not going to deter people from reading it. You also can't really use a straight-forward feminist critique to deter people from reading it. Nothing about the book is feminist in any way, but people will still read it. My take: people should not read the book because the characters are awful. They're poorly drawn, obviously, and do things for very mysterious and dumb reasons, but by the end of the book, I was simply pissed off that everyone involved in that world was so f–king dumb, immature, whiny, and pathetic. The characters are supposed to be in their 20s – the main character, a girl named Anastasia Steele, talks, acts and thinks like an emotionally stunted 13-year-old. It's awful, especially when they're getting into light BDSM because it feels like a douchey try-hard 20-something dude is spanking a 13-year-old. Anyway. The book is such a "success" that Focus Films has bought the rights and they're making it into a movie – soon. So who will direct this mess? Sources claim that Focus went to Angelina Jolie. For real.
The Hollywood Reporter also says that the approach to Angelina was just an "informal conversation but that nothing was real." All of this brings me to another reason to hate on the book – it's not a good or authentic representation of the BDSM lifestyle whatsoever. Angelina knows. That bitch loved (loves?) to play with ropes, knives, latex, leather, whips, chains, handcuffs and sex swings. SHE KNOWS. She wouldn't be interested in some fluff adaptation of a fluff representation of the BDSM lifestyle. You know when this crap gets made into a film, it's going to be starring one of those strangely neutered pretty boys from the CW and some fresh-faced try-hard girl who is barely 20. I'm guessing the screen adaptation will barely have any of the "hardcore" scenes from the book – which is kind of sad, because those scenes were barely erotic or titillating or hardcore.
Archival photos. |
| Lindsay Lohan’s “comeback” falters: she’s officially off the Gotti film Posted: 08 Jun 2012 08:02 AM PDT
Last year, there was a flurry of cracked-out activity surrounding Lindsay Lohan possibly taking a part in a completely unanticipated John Gotti bio-pic. John Travolta was supposed to play the Teflon Don, and the Cracken wanted to play Victoria Gotti. Lindsay and her team of enablers "leaked" all of these stories about Victoria Gotti's friendship with the Lohans and how Lindsay would be great in the part and CRACK COMEBACK, etc. Shortly after Lindsay crack-hustled her way into a photo op with the Gottis, she was reportedly pushed off of the project. Apparently, Dina made too many demands and Lindsay wanted more money than she's worth, and the producers weren't having it. But! Some other stuff happened (beej?) and Lindsay was back to being loosely associated with the film, albeit in a minor role, and nothing was official. Well, guess what? In the midst of Lindsay's 2012 Crack Comeback, her poor publicist Steve Honig had to admit to Radar that Lindsay isn't going to be in the Gotti movie at all:
I hate to say this, but I think it's probably good news for Lindsay's career. This Gotti film seems like a hot mess, and God knows, Travolta might be radioactive by the end of the year. It's best not to stand too close. Of course, I could just have a chuckle about this. No one but delusional Lifetime producers really want to work with Lindsay. Why would anyone, really? She shows up late and cracked out. She sucks all of the oxygen out of the room so that everything becomes about her and her crack drama, no matter what the subject. And she pays her bills by hooking. Why would anyone legitimate want her?
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet and PCN. |
| Russell Brand asked Katy Perry to remove him from her movie, she said no way Posted: 08 Jun 2012 07:22 AM PDT
Katy Perry has been in London over the past few days, and I sense that this studded, leather jacket is very important to Katy’s new purported image. As in, we’ll be seeing the jacket a lot as part of Katy’s recent effort to goth out like a slutty Morticia Addams to promote the alleged darker music that will spill forth from her next album. So Katy is still faux-gothing it up with various “serious” outfits in London while she appears “somber” by not making eye contact with the camera. Oh look who’s standing behind her in some of these photos — Robert Ackroyd of Florence + the Machine. I guess they didn’t break up after all, or maybe they just hook up when they’re in the came city. Who knows. I do like this cream-colored dress.
Meanwhile, a few stories continue to circulate in regards to Katy and her estranged husband, Russell Brand. If you compare their respective recent visits to “The Ellen Degeneres Show,” the difference in attitudes is quite apparent. Russell claimed to have only love and positivity for Katy, and she proceeded to tell Ellen that her upcoming concert movie will talk about Russell — perhaps in slightly unflattering terms. Supposedly, Russell isn’t happy about this and asked Katy to pull his footage, and she refused:
[From Chicago Sun-Times] So we all know that Katy’s movie will portray the demise of her marriage as sympathetic to herself. No big news there, and I doubt that any of Russell’s “caustic rants” will make it into the family-friendly flick, but I can see why he’d ask her to remove his image and likeness from the movie. And since Katy isn’t budging, I find it interesting that she’s quite irritated that Rusty dared to mention their courtship onstage at the MTV Movie Awards:
[From In Touch, print edition, June 18, 2012] Just to point out a trivial inaccuracy, Russell actually met Katy on the set of Get Him to the Greek. They filmed a kissing scene together, which was their first kiss as well. Okay, they rehearsed it together in private right before cameras rolled, and the way he described it in Booky Wook 2 was very sweet. Too bad things went down hill so quickly, right? I don’t blame Russell for making a joke about looking for his “next wife” onstage at the MTV Movie Awards. Everyone was pretty much expecting him to make some sort of joke about it, and he kept it relatively tasteful. Mostly, it seemed like he was picking on himself (not her), and then he hit on Fassy. Win win.
Photos courtesy of WENN          |
| Kris Humphries’ lawyer tells Kim K lookalike to stop saying she’s his girlfriend Posted: 08 Jun 2012 07:03 AM PDT
Well despite all this convincing background on the romance, Kris is still trying to deny he has anything to do with her. Radar reports that his lawyer is about to send Myla a cease and desist to stop claiming she’s his girlfriend. He’s supposedly already called her and told her to cut it out.
[From Radar Online] So what happened? I think this chick blew whatever she had with Kris by tweeting too much and telling TMZ about the relationship. She’s since deleted her Twitter account, and Gawker has information about some of her tweets poking fun at Bruce Jenner’s face and talking smack about Kanye. Do you think Basketball Kris even told Myla in person that he didn’t want to see her anymore, or did he just have his lawyer call her to break the news? Also, why is he thinking it will help his divorce if he doesn’t “date” now? Is he just stupidly taking his lawyers advice to act like the wronged party? He’s not the sharpest tool, with tool being the operative word. This photo of Myla doesn’t look too much like her now. She looks more like Kim K at this point. You can see other photos of her on TMZ.
Photo credit: WENN and FameFlynet |
| Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux will work together on SmartWater “short film” Posted: 08 Jun 2012 05:59 AM PDT
Jennifer Aniston has been the (Botox?)-face of SmartWater for several years now. She's mostly done print ads for the company, but she's also done at least one commercial that I know of. Aniston has a vested interested in SmartWater – she owns stock in the company, and she's even done some "candid" photo-op modeling for the brand too. I'm sure she will continue to represent the brand for years to come, so Aniston now thinks it's time to get her boyfriend involved. Yes, hipster Justin Theroux has gone completely corporate at this point – he's helping Jennifer "write" a commercial for SmartWater. SELLOUT.
"It is a parody of the paparazzi and tabloid interest in Jennifer's life." Ugh. I mean, I get it. All of the speculation is funny and gross and way too much, but I'm irritated because A) Aniston and her team actively engage in all of the speculation, and they definitely help certain storylines along but of course this commercial won’t be a parody of THAT and B) Once a celebrity (any celebrity) begins parodying their own celebrity, it's just kind of lame and famewhore-y. Creating a commercial parody about the constant speculation seems like a move that Miley Cyrus would make, you know? I'm not opposed to JustJen becoming ONE in all matters, but for goodness sake – this is just dumb.
Photos courtesy of WENN, SmartWater ads. |
| Enquirer: Natalie Portman embarrassed after failing to calm her fussy, crying baby Posted: 08 Jun 2012 04:45 AM PDT
The Enquirer's gossip guy, Mike Walker, always has stories about what celebrities are like when no one is there to document their behavior. No one except Mike Walker's informal team of informers and snitches. Which is to say that I believe some of Walker's stories, but most of time I think he's just getting his stories from someone with an overactive imagination. This week, Walker claims that Natalie Portman was recently in an LA vegan café with her son Aleph, and Aleph starting throwing a fit. Natalie was so embarrassed, she asked for her food to go and she did something nice on her way out…?
[From The National Enquirer, print edition] That was nice if she did pay for other diners' checks, and since the amount is so small (relatively speaking), I think this story could be true. Plus, babies do have their moments where they just cry and you can't calm them down. I never really get mad at parents with crying babies… that is, unless the baby is really WAILING and it would be easy enough for a parent to just step outside of the restaurant/movie/whatever with the loud baby. Even then, I'm not really "mad". Just irritated. The worst – in my opinion – is when it's an older kid throwing some kind of loud tantrum in a public place. If the child is old enough to be reasoned with, bribed or threatened, that child is too old to be WAILING in a public place. Of course, I was raised by parents who threatened to leave me at the supermarket whenever I cried, so maybe I’m not the best judge. Here are some recent photos of Natalie and Aleph coming out of an LA synagogue. You can't see the baby, of course. I just looked through all of our photos – we don't have access to any of Aleph's face. You can see one of the rare photos here. Aleph's a cutie. But Natalie is pretty vigilant about not showing him off.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet. |
| Did Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson have a jealous blow-up in Cannes? Posted: 08 Jun 2012 04:45 AM PDT
Correct me if I'm wrong, Twihards, but I believe that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have been separated since the Cannes Film Festival. And by "separated" I mean "they haven't been in the same city at the same time in about three weeks." Is it time for some Twihard hand-wringing? You know what I've noticed lately? The Twihard thing seems to be dying down. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Surely, it will rise up again when Breaking Dawn Part II comes out later this year. But the interest already seems to be ebbing a bit – Sparkles didn't even make it to the MTV Movie Awards and… nothing. There was no big outcry. Twihards weren't leaping off bridges. So if the Twihard fan-universe seems to be fading every slightly, do you ever wonder if Kristen and Robert's feelings for each other might fade as the Twilight Saga comes to a close? Sure, Kristen is talking about Sparkles more than ever in interviews these days (even referring to him as "my f–king boyfriend"). But is there ever trouble in paradise? Is there a reason (beyond two competing press tours) that they haven't seen each other in weeks? Star Mag thinks so. They say Kristen and Sparkles had a big blow-up while they were in Cannes.
[From Star Magazine, print edition] It's weird that the tabloids always paint Kristen as super-jealous, when really – she doesn't seem that way at all. While the Twihards always claim that Kristen is super-neurotic (and that's why she's so twitchy), I think Kristen probably has a very high opinion of herself, and I do mean that in a good way. I think she's a very confident, self-assured young woman in her private life, and she's not prone to jealous hissy fits. It's almost like the tabloids are trying to make Kristen into the new Angelina Jolie – a tabloid creation, a temperamental villainess, a secretly needy, emotional wreck. And for what it's worth, Lainey says Sparkles and Kristen were flirty and cute together in Cannes.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Nicole Kidman tells Kelly Preston to GTFO of her marriage & come to Nashville Posted: 08 Jun 2012 04:43 AM PDT
Oh, the stories that Nicole Kidman could tell. It's amazing that Nicole has never really sat down and done an extensive interview about her years spent with Tom Cruise, within (or adjacent to) the Church of Scientology. I imagine she was just happy to get out relatively unscathed, and she doesn't want to even think about those mostly unhappy years? Does Nicole ever speak to anyone from her old Xenu-tastic life? Star Magazine claims she does. They say that Nicole still talks to Kelly Preston occasionally, and Nicole has reached out to Kelly in the wake of Masseur-gate. Allegedly, Nicole is encouraging Kelly to leave John Travolta and come to Nashville for some rest & relaxation (from Xenu).
[From Star Magazine, print edition] As if you needed any more evidence that Nicole Kidman is a Suppressive Person, right? That's how Scientologists see it, and trust me, Kelly Preston isn't going to give up her beliefs in CoS just because her husband loves dong (allegedly.). So while I could see Nicole calling Kelly to gloat about how she (Nicole) got out of her "Boys Only" marriage, I don't see Kelly and Nicole really reaching out to each other in times of crisis. In any case, Gossip Cop has a very specific denial – from Nicole Kidman's rep. Not Kelly's. Not John's. So… maybe only the Nicole Kidman part of this story is false? I could buy that.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Ryan Seacrest wants Julianne Hough to move in with him, but she wants a ring Posted: 08 Jun 2012 04:29 AM PDT
Here’s some photos of Julianne Hough attending a screening of Rock of Ages in New York City on June 6. Evidently, the screening wasn’t important enough for Tom Cruise to make room in his busy schedule and dust off the Katiebot, which is sort of a shame, but Julianne looks quite spiffy in her little black dress. Yes, she’s fairly boring from a gossip standpoint, but she sure is pretty.
Speaking of gossip, there’s a slightly interesting story in this week’s issue of Star that has Julianne putting some pressure on Ryan Seacrest to propose marriage. Of course, Ryan sort of brought this on himself as well by buying a huge $37 million estate from Ellen DeGeneres and then deciding that he’d like Julianne to share it with him. In response, Julianne said she needed a ring first, and now Ryan is allegedly plotting to make that dream come true:
[From Star, print edition, June 18, 2012] Yep, Julianne wants that ring so bad she can taste it, and I’d be willing to bet that if Ryan doesn’t propose this year, she’ll probably give him an ultimatum. I wonder if Ryan really bought the house with Julianne’s huge Mormon family in mind. Or maybe he just thought of holding pool parties and inviting Derek Hough to come and take his shirt off. One never knows. Here’s Julianne doing more promotion of Rock of Ages in NYC on June 6. I love her skirt in these photos, and her dogs (which she took to MTV studios for some odd reason) are pretty cute too. By preference, I’m a “big dog” sort of person, but doggies of any size will usually score points with me.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet      |
| David & Posh Beckham show off adorably chubby Harper at Disneyland: so cute? Posted: 08 Jun 2012 04:23 AM PDT
These are some of the cutest photos I've ever seen. David and Victoria Beckham took all of their kids to Disneyland a few days ago, and these are just some of the photos from their trip. Usually, when a celebrity takes their kid to Disneyland, the Disney machine makes sure that there are some "official" photos of the celebrity and, like, Mickey Mouse. I haven't seen any of those – which makes me think that the Family Beckham just decided to celebrate the kids getting out of school, and just went to Disneyland as complete civilians. Y'all know I'm not even that much of a baby person, right? But I adore Harper Seven Beckham. She looks like both of her parents, and yet… different. She's so amazingly chubby! And I love that her daddy is holding her the whole time, in every photo. She seems like a very docile baby, right? Whenever she's with either of her parents, there are never any tantrums or anything. Another favorite part of these photos: Harper got TWO hats. She has a cute little straw hat to shield her little face from the sun. AND she got a mouse-ear hat! I always say this, but it's worth saying again – the Beckhams really are a close family, and I buy that both David and Victoria are VERY hands-on with their kids. It shows. PS… Posh is wearing flats. And I LOVE her maxi-dress.
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
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