Cele|bitchy |
- Dame Gwyneth deigns to rap NWA & make style suggestions for peasants
- Lady Gaga ousts Oprah from #1 on Forbes Celebrity 100 list
- Kirsten Dunst vs Charlotte Gainsbourg: who looked better?
- Penelope Cruz’s chichis in black sequin lace: hot or budget 90s?
- Pippa Middleton’s duchess dreams & a faux Canadian tuxedo
- Victoria Beckham schedules her C-section in America, for the 4th of July
- One of Arnold’s mistress hires lawyer Gloria Allred - says there are over a dozen
- Brad Pitt wants to work with Angelina again, wants to do “everything together”
- Ashton Kutcher on his Two and a Half Men gig: “like I won the lotto”
- Naomi Campbell gets to party with Vladimir Doronin, but he’s still not marrying her
| Dame Gwyneth deigns to rap NWA & make style suggestions for peasants Posted: 19 May 2011 08:38 AM PDT
People are talking about Gwyneth's latest GOOP newsletter like it's something groundbreaking awful. For this week's newsletter, Dame Goop decided to make some style suggestions for peasants, because she's so tired of seeing our fat peasant asses clothed in pants that cost less than a mortgage payment. My point? This is nothing new. Goop fashions herself a one-woman Vogue Magazine. She is all about being aspirational to peasants, and if you've been reading GOOP since the beginning, you know that this junk has been WAY worse in previous newsletters. My favorite part of Goopy's must-have shopping list (which comes out to over $18,000 - JUST FOR SUMMER) is that Her Goopiness actually models all of the crap she's shilling. She really put a lot of time and thought into it too - she must have hired a photographer, a lighting guy, makeup artist, hair stylist, all of the perks, just to justify her "must have" Stella McCartney blazer (which is fug as hell). You can read the newsletter here, and I've included some of the goopy modeling photos below. Meanwhile, the video has come out of Gwyneth's recent appearance on Graham Norton. She cooks! She snots! She raps! I know everyone is talking about her NWA rap, but I was barely able to get to it because I was so overcome by her crazy horrible voice. She's so… horrible. That voice. The NWA rapping part begins around 6:40. IT'S TERRIBLE. My favorite part is watching Geoffrey Rush's face. He's just got this look on his face like "Dear God, MAKE THIS BITCH STFU." “My dear friend EZE once told me, ‘Gwyneth, you are my best friend in the whole world, you must give the world the gift of your song, and your rap skills, which are second to none.’ So I told him, ‘E, I must give you my recipe for duck a la goop, because it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.’ Alas, he is dead now, so I can only communicate with him through my dear friend Mikhail Baryshnikov, who acts as my personal medium.” Here are those goopy glamour shots, as promised:
Photos courtesy of Fame, Goop. |
| Lady Gaga ousts Oprah from #1 on Forbes Celebrity 100 list Posted: 19 May 2011 08:25 AM PDT
Forbes just issued its annual “Celebrity 100″ list, which aims to rank actors, models, musicians, athletes, and the like through some enormously complicated algorithm (that we couldn’t possibly understand), which not only awards points for monetary earnings but also for tv/radio, media, web, and social rankings. Apparently, omnipresence is key, and who (for better or worse) is more present in this day and age than Lady Gaga? In fact, Gaga only earned $90 million compared to Oprah Winfrey’s $290 million, but Gaga’s influence has somehow overshadowed that of Oprah, which meant a displacement at the #1 position:
[From Forbes] In third place? The reprehensible Justin Bieber. Rounding out the top 10 are U2, Elton John, Taylor Swift, Bon Jovi, Simon Cowell, and Lebron James. (Basically, this is a list of people that we can’t stand, right?) Also scoring quite high (#15 with $77 million in earnings) are Leonardo DiCaprio (which will certainly make Blake Lively happy); the nauseating Bethenny Frankel (#42 with $55 million); and Will Smith (#65 with $36 million) because of the upcoming Men in Black III and also because he pimped out his kids (Jaden as the new Karate Kid an actor and Willow as YouTube phenom). Failing to rank at all this year were Britney Spears and Daniel Radcliffe. You can read the full list here.
Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures       |
| Kirsten Dunst vs Charlotte Gainsbourg: who looked better? Posted: 19 May 2011 08:07 AM PDT
Last night was the premiere of Melancholia, the Lars Von Trier film that looks awful. So awful that Lars Von Trier said a bunch of crap about Nazis and then got banned from the film festival. So awful that between Kiki Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg, barely anyone cares. And only Charlotte Rampling comes out ahead. Many of you liked Kiki's mustardy dress at the photo call yesterday, and I have to say, she did pull it off. However, for the premiere, she wore this tragic Rodarte. I think this junk looks like upholstery. And cheap upholstery at that. But I'll give Kiki credit - she looks "put together". She doesn't look wasted and like she just threw something on. Her makeup and hair are gorgeous, it's just the dress that I hate.
Meanwhile, CB and I were arguing about Charlotte's ensemble. I kind of like it, because I've watched Charlotte's style evolution through the years, and this is one of her sexiest looks, in my opinion. She usually dresses kind of hipster, lots of Marc Jacobs and high collars and not a lot of skin showing. So this is new - and I love that she did it while super-pregnant. CB thinks it's kind of trashy and fug, and most fashion sites agree. WHATEVER. I like it.
Seriously, Rampling wins!
Photos courtesy of WENN. |
| Penelope Cruz’s chichis in black sequin lace: hot or budget 90s? Posted: 19 May 2011 07:57 AM PDT
Last night Penelope attended the premiere in Madrid wearing a long black form fitting gown with lace sleeves and sequins running along the bustline and the sides. This dress reminds me so much of my early 90s prom dress. It had long lace sleeves very similar to these, although the shoulders were puffy and the thing was deep purple with black lace. While this dress may draw our attention to Penelope’s fabulous nursing boobs it’s fug, as was my prom dress. Like her navy jumpsuit, there’s something “off” about it but it’s not terrible.
I do like her hair pulled up like that with some strands hanging down. Coupled with those lovely drop earrings and her pretty makeup there’s something so elfin and dainty about her look. She’s a beautiful woman.
Here’s Penelope with Spanish actor Jordi Molla. He’s not in the movie but I guess he’s big in Spain.
Look he’s seducing you with his eyes. He’s alternately intrigued and disgusted by you.
And here she is with costars Oscar Jaenada and Sam Claflin. That one dude Oscar Jaenada is wearing a rock t-shirt with a fancy black jacket over it and big black beads. He’s cracking me up.
Penelope is also shown with Astrid Berges-Frisbey in the picture above. Astrid turns 25 next week although she looks much younger. She’s so pretty and must play the ingénue. Photo credit: WENN.com |
| Pippa Middleton’s duchess dreams & a faux Canadian tuxedo Posted: 19 May 2011 07:27 AM PDT
Here are some new photos of Pippa Middleton, back in London after a whirlwind trip to Madrid with her ex-boyfriend, George Percy. She allegedly had a boyfriend named Alex Loudon, but she hasn't been spotted with him since her sister's wedding. Some think that Pippa and George, the son of the Duke of Northumberland, are just "friends" after their breakup several years ago. I tend to think that she's probably "on a break" with Alex and seeing if she can upgrade to someone richer, with a title. More on this in a moment. What I really want to talk about is Pippa's faux Canadian tuxedo. When CB and I were first looking at these pics, we thought she was wearing full-on denim, but now I think the blouse is just cotton gauze or linen, and it unfortunately looks exactly like her light-wash, tapered jeans. The whole combo is very… I don't know?… dated, I guess. Pippa looks like The Preppie's Girlfriend in an '80s teen film. Here's a little bit more from Us Weekly:
[From Us Weekly] Regarding my previous post where I referred to the House of Northumberland as "royal" - yeah, I was wrong. I was just thinking "duke, duchess, royal," but many of you were right, the duchy of Northumberland is "aristocracy" and a member of the peerage, but not royal. I looked up the house on Wikipedia and I found that George Percy is really The Earl Percy, because he's the firstborn son and heir to the current Duke of Northumberland. God, I love British sh-t. I could look up peerages all day and be quite happy. Anyway, if Pippa got with George right now, before he becomes a Duke, Pippa would be Lady Percy, and then later, the Duchess of Northumberland. And I do think Pippa is going to try to make this or something like this happen. Pippa wants a title. Maybe she won't get to be a princess, but she may get to be a duchess.
Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News. |
| Victoria Beckham schedules her C-section in America, for the 4th of July Posted: 19 May 2011 07:00 AM PDT
Good news, America! Posh Beckham is going to gift us with a very special Independence Day surprise. A BABY! Apparently, Posh is due in early July, and there are reports that she's scheduled a C-section IN AMERICA for the 4th of July. Five bucks says that the name the little girl something like "Founding Father" or "Independence" or "Jefferson". Actually, there was a rumor going around that Posh and Becks would name the baby girl "Atlanta" - which is completely random. Posh's rep denied that, though. So Lala is still in the running, probably with Angel, Malibu, San Fernando (why not?), Santa (of course), Los Feliz (sure), Independence, Firework, Jefferson, and Philadelphia (duh!).
[From The Mail] You know Posh is truly aiming for the 4th of July. And I can't blame her, honestly. I'm saying this as a daughter of an immigrant: immigrants friggin' love American holidays. Truly. My dad always loved the 4th of July in particular. The history of it, celebrating your adopted country's freedom from tyranny, the fireworks, the grilling of meat. I would imagine it's the same for Posh, kind of. But mostly she thinks that if she gives birth on the 4th of July and names her little girl "These Truths To Be Self-evident," Anna Wintour might give her a cover. In additional to the baby, Posh and Becks also added a new puppy to their family. A French bulldog puppy named Scarlet joins their English bulldog Coco. Posh has been tweeting photos for days. Scarlet is such a cutie!
Photos courtesy of Fame & Posh's Twitter. |
| One of Arnold’s mistress hires lawyer Gloria Allred - says there are over a dozen Posted: 19 May 2011 06:42 AM PDT
According to Radar, a actress named Gigi Goyette has hired Allred, and has stated that she first had sex with Arnold back in 1975 when she was 16 and he was 28. That makes it statutory rape, although the statute of limitations has long since passed. They met up again in 1989 when he was married to Maria. Goyettes details one of their romps in which she once had sex with Arnold “in her hotel room while Maria was in another room on the same floor.” We’ve also heard about a flight attendant who allegedly had an affair with Arnold. She’s denied that her son is Arnold’s and claims that a DNA test proves that he’s not.
Meanwhile the housekeeper mistress story rages on. There are plenty of photos and details coming out about Arnold’s relationship with the woman who had his son and worked for his family for 20 years. TMZ has a photo of Arnold dancing with the other woman, Mildred Patty Baena, in 1994, three years before she had his baby. Arnold also paid for the Baena’s niece’s Quinceanera, or coming of age party, in 2001. Apparently the mistress’ sister, the mother of the girl who had the party, also worked for Arnold. I wonder if he was boning the sister too. TMZ claims that Baena was single white femaling her rival, Maria Shriver, and that she would “dress in her clothing,” “wear her jewelry around town” and bang her husband in her own bed during the day while Shriver was at work.
There are some reports that Arnold bought his mistress her four bedroom home in Bakersfield, CA last year for over $268,000. Other reports have her taking out a loan of $216,000, meaning she put $52,000 down. She may have had help with the down payment, but it’s not like the home was purchased for her outright. We heard yesterday that Baena threatened to go public when Arnold fired her, although TMZ says that she’s always been loyal to Arnold (probably for a good reason, cha ching) and that an investigation by the LA Times prompted Arnold to come clean. Meanwhile there’s more evidence that Baena’s 14 year-old son is Arnold’s. She listed her husband as the father on the boy’s birth certificate, but checked off the box for “no minor children” when she got a divorce.
Oh and Maria Shriver has lawyered up too. She just hired high-powered divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, also known for representing Britney Spears. Good for her. This is about to get a lot more interesting, and Allred will dig up even more mistresses. Just wait. Bonus link: Gawker compiled this encyclopedia of every other awful thing Arnold Schwarzenegger has done, but it’s of course in no way complete despite how extensive it is. Arnold is shown on 5/11/11, before the scandal broke. Maria is shown on 10/21/10. Credit: Fame
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| Brad Pitt wants to work with Angelina again, wants to do “everything together” Posted: 19 May 2011 06:41 AM PDT
Brad Pitt is still talking! To promote Tree of Life, he gave an interview to the Associated Press, and he talks about family and junk. There's no talk of Jesus in this piece, sorry! But he does talk about The Other Jesus, Angelina, and whether or not they'll work together again, etc. I don't really know what to say because I think Brad sounds nice here and I don't find his comments controversial in the least, but I thought that about his religion quotes too, so what do I know?
[From Us Weekly] I'm going to say something that will make people yell at me, but I don't care: I think Brad has become a better actor in the years he's spent with Angelina, and I think that in the same time frame, he's made more interesting career choices than in the rest of his career. I do think Brad's career priorities changed, as did his place in the industry, when he and Angelina got together and when he became a father. He's got money now, he's got stature, and he doesn't sign on to a movie unless he likes the script or the director, and even then he wields quite a lot of power. My point? I think I'm saying that Brad is still going to be very relevant in Hollywood for many years to come. I could even see him winning an Oscar at some point. Shocking, I know. And yeah, in those dumb glasses, he's totally trying to look like Jack Nicholson.
Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame. |
| Ashton Kutcher on his Two and a Half Men gig: “like I won the lotto” Posted: 19 May 2011 06:31 AM PDT
[From TV Guide] I wonder which other actor Lorre was considering for the part. Could it have been Rob Lowe as rumored? He would have also been a great choice. Ashton I’m kind of “meh” on. He does look superficially good here as part of the team, but all I have to do is remember any show or movie I’ve seen him in and I come back to reality. He’s a goofball, but maybe that will play well on television again. At the upfronts, Ashton was very positive about his new job. He said “It’s awesome to be here. I could not be more excited. I never in my 13 years of show business received more e-mails and phone calls congratulating me for this job. It’s almost like I won the lotto. And I kind of did… I got the best job in show business and I'm excited about that.” We’ll see how he feels about it in a year or two, but over $16 million a season has got to be nice for a guy who used to make just two to three sh*t movies a year.
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| Naomi Campbell gets to party with Vladimir Doronin, but he’s still not marrying her Posted: 19 May 2011 06:24 AM PDT
Naomi Campbell has been all over Cannes in the past week. I think it's an annual thing for her - she party-hops, yacht-hops, gets wasted, etc. For this Cannes, however, Naomi threw one of her "Fashion for Relief" runway shows in which designers and models donate their time (and clothes) for humanitarian crises (this particular show raised money for Japan). Naomi always gets people to turn out, because, seriously, when Naomi asks you to do something, you're going to do it right? You might get maimed by a diamond-encrusted cell phone if you don't. My point? I can't bash her for organizing these "Fashion for Relief" shows - they're always big shows and good events for raising money. What was more notable to me was that Naomi's married lover/fiancé was on her arm throughout all of the festivities. Vladimir Doronin, who is still technically married, walked red carpets and partied with Naomi night after night. I've asked this before, and I'll ask it again: will Vlad ever divorce his wife? Will Naomi ever be anything more than the girlfriend/mistress? They've been together for more than three years now, and I have to say that I think Vlad probably loves her crazy ass. But these are the first photos of them where he's tossed aside his stoic demeanor. He looks… sexy. I would shack up with that.
Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame. |
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