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- What’s Up With All the 3D Movies?
- Gallery: Disney Villains Show Their Feminine Sides
- Sunday Cute: Mama Cat Hugs Nightmare-Having Kitten
- Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: The Rake
- Snap This: Super Mario Bros. Made From Cases of Soda
- Countdown to the Tony Awards: Tonys By Numbers
| What’s Up With All the 3D Movies? Posted: 29 May 2011 10:15 AM PDT
What the hell’s up with that? Let me get the record straight: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with 3D movies– as long as the 3D bit is essential to the story being told. The big problem I’ve been having lately is that more and more, the use of 3D technology in filmmaking is becoming a gimmick or a trend, rather than an actual technique. The question I keep asking is whether or not the 3D element is actually doing anything to enhance the films it’s being applied to– and mostly, I don’t think it is. One of the earlier live-action films I saw in 3D was the 2009 remake of the horror flick My Bloody Valentine. Yeah, it wasn’t a great movie– there’s only so much you can ask from a horror film but it made some good use of 3D technology as a scare tactic. Here, I didn’t have any problems with it being a gimmick; horror movies are built on gimmicks, and the point of them is to scare (or at least startle), so if you can achieve that by making an audience duck because it looks like a giant spike protruding from someone’s skull is going to whack them in the face, go forth and be gimmick-y. Furthermore, the reason I went to see My Bloody Valentine in the first place is that I’d been hearing that the 3D elements did some interesting things to the film, and as a horror movie afficionado (the worse, the better!), I was curious. The script was a little predictable, but I realize that I’ve seen more horror movies than the average casual viewer, so it’s possible that the only reason I was able to figure everything out so early is that I was familiar enough with the conventions of the genre to do so. But even considering that, you know what? I DID feel like I’d got my money’s worth. It was fun, and the visuals did what they were supposed to do, 3D and all. And then there was Avatar. True, from a scripting standpoint, Avatar isn’t much more complicated than Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest– that’s why it didn’t win Best Picture at the Oscars that year– but what it DID do right was the 3D thing. It earned every single one of the technical Oscars it won, because in this instance, shooting the film in 3D aided the storytelling. Without the 3D element, the world James Cameron and his team created wouldn’t have been nearly as vivid as it was, and that is why I would argue that 3D was actually a necessary component of the film. (I do, however, think that converting Titanic into 3D is a silly thing to do. Sometimes, Cameron just doesn’t know when to quit.) And after having viewed a variety of the animated films available in 3D (Toy Story 3, naturally, was the most successful of the bunch), I recently sat down to watch Thor and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. As I was watching both of them, something was bothering me about the 3D aspect of each, though at first I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Having seen the two films relatively close together, though, by the end of Pirates, I figured out what was bothering me: Sure, the films are in 3D, but the shots of the films are still largely composed for 2D viewing. Pirates fared a little better, making use of some pointy-sword action, but there were still a lot of missed opportunities, and to be honest, I actually forgot that Thor was in 3D while I was watching it. In both cases, you could take away all the 3D bollocks and you probably wouldn’t even know the difference– you’d be watching an entertaining, if contrived, summer action film, rather than an entertaining, if contrived, summer action film that cost $17 a ticket. The 3D did nothing to enhance the films, and largely, the movies weren’t even making as much use of the 3D as they could. There’s a number of other 3D films set to release this summer– Green Lantern, Cars 2, Captain America, Smurfs, and so on and so forth– and honestly, I’m not entirely sure that ANY of them really NEEDED to be in 3D. I’m marginally less skeptical of the animated and family films, since they usually make good use of the technology as a joke mechanism; but I’m kind of afraid that Green Lantern and Captain America will leave me as cold as Thor and Pirates did. Believe me when I say that I’m over the moon about the fact that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ended up NOT being in 3D. There’s a joke in the Hollywood community that goes something like, “If you can’t make it good, make it 3D.” But this seems like it’s starting to morph into something more like, “If you have to make it, you have to make it 3D.” And I’m not sure how I feel about that, especially if the technology is evolving faster than the artistry. A number of filmmakers have spoken out about their anti-3D stance, among them Joss Whedon and J. J. Abrams, and I’m glad to hear that not everyone is flocking to 3D. But at the same time, I wonder if it would be possible to pull back from 3D just long enough for everyone to get the hang of it. There’s so much possibility for films seen in three dimensions– we just need to learn how to use it properly as a storytelling device, rather than just a gimmick. I get kind of starry-eyed thinking about all the ways it could be used; but we DO need to learn how to use it first. What do you think, Gentle Readers? What’s your stance on the 3D conundrum? Post from: Crushable What’s Up With All the 3D Movies? |
| Gallery: Disney Villains Show Their Feminine Sides Posted: 29 May 2011 08:50 AM PDT Disney has its fair share of female villains. Sure, they tend to be wicked queens and/or stepmothers and they’re usually sorcerers of some sort, but they’re still some of the best villains around. But have you ever wondered what some of the male villains might look like if they let their proverbial hair down? Well, now you can see for yourselves! It all started with a deviant ART challenge called Hades Art Jam which asked competitors to draw the Disney villain Hades in whatever way they pleased. deviantART user BlastedGoose came up with a gender-bender version and got so excited about the idea that she decided to make a whole series. And thus were born the Disney Villainettes! I suddenly have the strong desire to pit Josh MC’s Disney Fighters against these gals… Check out more of BlastedGoose’s work at her deviantART page, and for an FAQ about the series, head here. [Via Buzzfeed] Post from: Crushable Gallery: Disney Villains Show Their Feminine Sides |
| Sunday Cute: Mama Cat Hugs Nightmare-Having Kitten Posted: 29 May 2011 07:20 AM PDT A mama cat and her kitten curling up together as they both snooze is cute enough and of itself; but when the kitten starts to have a little kitten nightmare, prompting the mama cat to give her baby a big ol’ reassuring snuggle-hug? Cutest. Thing. EVER. Happy Sunday! Post from: Crushable Sunday Cute: Mama Cat Hugs Nightmare-Having Kitten |
| Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: The Rake Posted: 28 May 2011 02:48 PM PDT
What is it about creature features that fire the imagination? Keep your fancy technology, your haunting soundtrack, your stunning special effects; what we come back to time and time again is the idea of the monster hiding under the bed, or lurking in the closet, waiting until we are at our most vulnerable to strike. The unseen is more effective than the seen for the simple reason that the unknown is scary. Then, when you finally DO get a first glimpse at the creature you thought couldn’t exist, it’s all the more chilling. This week, let’s visit a creature I like to call: THE RAKE
The first documented instance of him– if such a word can be used in reference to him– that survived this unexplained informational purge goes back to 1691, in which an English mariner’s log states the following: “He came to me in my sleep. From the foot of my bed I felt a sensation. He took everything. We must return to England. We shall not return here again at the request of the Rake.” We don’t know where the mariner had been, but clearly the Rake had been there when his ship arrived; no doubt the Rake will be there still. In 1880, he appeared again in the journal of a Spaniard. Translated into English, the entry reads: “I have experience the greatest terror. I have experienced the greatest terror. I have experienced the greatest terror. I see his eyes when I close mine. They are hollow. Black. They saw me and pierced me. His wet hand. I will not sleep. His voice (unintelligible text).” Then, in a suicide note written in 1964: “As I prepare to take my life, I feel it necessary to assuage any guilt or pain I have introduced through this act. It is not the fault of anyone other than him. For once I awoke and felt his presence. And once I awoke and saw his form. Once again I awoke and heard his voice, and looked into his eyes. I cannot sleep without fear of what I might next awake to experience. I cannot ever wake. Goodbye.” Found in the same box as the suicide note were two empty envelopes addressed to a William and a Rose, and one loose letter without an envelope. The letter reads: “Dearest Linnie, I have prayed for you. He spoke your name.” It is unknown what happened to William, Rose, or Linnie– especially Linnie, whom the writer implied would be the Rake’s next victim. What is the Rake? No one really knows. He appears to look like some kind of man/dog hybrid, having been described in one account as “a naked man or a large hairless dog.” Furthermore, he has been noted for his unnatural body position, which appears twisted and distorted, “as if it had been hit by a car or something.” An artist’s rendering depicts him as follows:
Then there is the matter of his name. Beyond its common use as a word for a gardening implement, a rake is defined as “an immoral or dissolute person; a libertine.” In this sense, the word is probably best known in relation to 18th century English printmaker and cartoonist William Hogarth’s eight-painting series A Rake’s Progress, which illustrates the transformation of a moral, upstanding young man into depravity, with the series’ young subject ending up insane and incarcerated in Bedlam. Furthermore, “rake” is truncation of “rakehell;” its definition is the same, but the additional syllable is odd enough to give a person pause. It is clear that the Rake attacks at night, though it is less clear whether he attacks in the corporeal world, in his victim’s dreams, or in a combination of both. Photographic evidence of the Rake does exist, however, leading to the belief that he is at least somewhat corporeal:
The tales are more terrifying than the images, though. The research begun after the 2003 events culminated in the gathering of every shred of evidence available about the Rake in 2006; but the story that perhaps hits home the most comes from the events that sparked the beginnings of the whole project. A witness recalled the following: After returning home from a family 4th of July trip to Niagra Falls in 2003, the witness and her husband awoke at roughly 4am to find something sitting at the foot of their bed: the man/dog hybrid described above. Initially, the witness was not afraid; rather, she was concerned about the creature’s state and wondered whether they were supposed to help him. It was only when the creature scrambled up the bed, then out the door towards the children’s rooms that the witness realized that the creature was not benign. Running out of there room and into the hall, the witness and her husband flicked on the hall lights, only to see the creature covered in blood and standing above their daughter Clara. The creature ran down the stairs, while the witness and her husband ran to their daughter. She said only four words: “He is the Rake.” Those were the last four words she ever spoke. As the witness’ husband rushed to get Clara to the hospital, he lost control of the vehicle and drove into a lake. Neither Clara nor the husband survived. What caused the husband to lose control of the car? Merely careless driving due to the urgency of the situation? Or was the Rake somehow involved? After these tragic events, the witness attempted to put her and her son’s lives back together, eventually leading her to research as much as she could about the creature that changed her life forever. She found other survivors with similar stories, and she began recording audio as she slept. At first, the recordings yielded nothing; but during the third week, she says she heard something different: “What I found was a shrill voice. It was the Rake. I can’t listen to it long enough to even begin to transcribe it. I haven’t let anyone listen to it yet. All I know is that I’ve heard it before, and I now believe that it spoke when it was sitting in front of my husband. I don’t remember hearing anything at the time, but for some reason, the voice on the recorder immediately brings me back to that moment.” Her tale remains unresolved. “I have not seen the Rake since he ruined my life,” she says, “but I know that he has been in my room while I slept. I know and fear that one night I’ll wake up to see him staring at me.” Sufficiently disturbed? Don’t be; as with all the others, the Rake isn’t real. Like Slender Man, he’s a creation of the bloody-minded users of the Something Awful forums. All the above-mentioned stories are quoted by user Clockspider in the same thread that Slender Man first appeared in; rumblings have suggested that the Rake had been created prior to Slender Man, but I have been unable to find an original post (if such a thing exists). Furthermore, an ARG that draws heavily on the style of the Marble Hornets Project also exists, known as the EverymanHYBRID, so if you really want to scare the pants off yourself, check it out. Though I’d still be careful at night if I were you. Post from: Crushable Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren’t: The Rake |
| Snap This: Super Mario Bros. Made From Cases of Soda Posted: 28 May 2011 01:15 PM PDT
[Via Reddit] Post from: Crushable Snap This: Super Mario Bros. Made From Cases of Soda |
| Countdown to the Tony Awards: Tonys By Numbers Posted: 28 May 2011 11:45 AM PDT
Post from: Crushable Countdown to the Tony Awards: Tonys By Numbers |
First it was a handful of computer animated films. Then it was most computer animated films. Then it was a handful of live action films. Then Avatar happened, and ever since then, nearly every single big-budget action-y movie that has been released has been in 3D.
Creepy Things That Seem Real But Aren't is a new series that explores modern urban legends, bringing you a new tale each week.
Building a mosaic of Mario = best use of cases of soda EVER.
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