Best Week Ever |
- Bill Hader Discusses The Origins Of Stefon With David Letterman
- Where In The World Is Condom Sandiego?
- Walker’s Wheelhouse: Recommended Reading
- A PSA For Victims Of The Sarah McLachlan ASPCA Commercial
- At Least Ken Jennings Went Out With A Simpsons Reference
- Model Amazon Eve Is The Tallest Girl In The Room
- FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The 2011 Westminster Dog Show
- SNL Power Rankings: Things Get Shouty When Russell Brand’s Around
- 8 Name Suggestions For Natalie Portman’s Baby Boy
- Worst Thing Ever Contender: Woman Dies At Her Desk, Isn’t Discovered Until Weekend
- PROOF OF EVOLUTION: Baby Gorilla Learns To Walk
- Gino’s Pizza Commercial Wins Oscars For Best Actor, Best Anything
- 95-Year-Old Man Is Ready To Crack Local Hoodlum Skulls
- Comedy Duo The Pajama Men Are Ready For Their Sleepover
| Bill Hader Discusses The Origins Of Stefon With David Letterman Posted: 17 Feb 2011 10:05 AM PST
RELATED: SNL's Greatest Moments: Top Ten Cast Member Crack Ups [via Matthew Perpetua's Fluxtumblr]  |
| Where In The World Is Condom Sandiego? Posted: 17 Feb 2011 10:30 AM PST Today, we find Condom Sandiego, aka Lady Gaga, in New York on her way to the Good Morning America studios. But before getting to what Gaga actually wear (hint: it looks like condoms), let’s focus in on one of the best reaction shots of our time:
What in the world could this woman be looking at??? Find out ahead. OK, to be fair, it doesn’t seem like she’s so shocked by Gaga’s outfit, including her self-censorship sunglasses.
Forget the condom trenchcoat, what in the WORLD could have caused that kind of face? Was Gaga about to step into a giant vagina ship? Didn’t Madonna already do that? Help us figure this enigma out.  |
| Walker’s Wheelhouse: Recommended Reading Posted: 17 Feb 2011 09:30 AM PST You know how I My brother asked me the other day what I thought my Wheelhouse would look like in actual physical form. And before I could answer he said, “It would probably just have a lot of dream catchers in it.” I don’t know exactly what that means, but I 100% agree. Reading. We all do it. We’re doing it right now. There’s no shame in it. Unless you’re doing something shameful whilst reading this, and in that case How Dare You. Anyway. The other day, I emerged from a Blogging Hole (which is not decorated with dream catchers, I know this because my dreams escape from that Hole) and went to The Strand Bookstore in Union Square. Great bookstore, good prices, and replete with attractive people and crazies alike. Here are some choice books that I found, which I would like to share with you. Teachers, I recommend you put them on your Summer Reading List. Seriously. No one wants to read Obasan. (Sorry, Obasan and people who like Obasan). But before I went to The Strand I went to Rite Aide and managed to get in some light reading there. Which leads me to… Recommended Periodical: The Valentine’s Day Section of the New York Post:
With a renewed faith in love, I traipsed over to The Strand and found this…
Recommended Children’s Book: William The Explorer
Recommended Book For Thrill-Seeking Moms: Playdate With Death
Recommended Instructional Book: Learn To Play Sax
Recommended Pulp Fiction Based On The Tag Line: Epitaph for a Tramp and Epitaph for a Dead Beat
Recommended Book Based On The Author Photo: I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections by Nora Ephron
Recommended Book About Ducks At A Distance: Ducks At A Distance
Recommended Book Based On The Use Of An Old Timey Name: The Ballad of Dingus Magee
Looks like you’ve got some reading to do! I’d say start with Ducks At A Distance and parlay those skills into finding the woman from the New York Post. Again, apologies to Obasan. Thanks for coming to Walker’s Wheelhouse, grab a dream catcher on your way out.  |
| A PSA For Victims Of The Sarah McLachlan ASPCA Commercial Posted: 17 Feb 2011 08:47 AM PST We’ve all been there — you’re watching an NFL game or an awards show or the tail end of your favorite reality programme, and out of nowhere, that Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial comes on and irrevocably bums the hell out of everyone. It’s a growing problem, and yet, most of us feel content to just ignore it, sitting there in awkward silence until someone bravely changes the subject a few minutes later. But now, there’s hope:
Other Channel  |
| At Least Ken Jennings Went Out With A Simpsons Reference Posted: 17 Feb 2011 07:38 AM PST (Jeopardy IBM Challenge Spoilers!) Part Three of Jeopardy’s IBM Challenge aired last night, and while neither Ken Jennings nor Brad Rutter managed to ultimately keep up with their computer opponent Watson, at least Jennings bowed out in Final Jeopardy with a Simpsons reference:
“I for one welcome our new computer overlords” references the Simpsons quote (and ongoing internet meme) when Kent Brockman sees an ant float by the camera on Homer’s space shuttle and instantly assumes the world is about to be taken over by a super-race of giant ants. Nicely done, Mr. Jennings. If you haven’t read Jennings’ Slate.com piece about playing against Watson, definitely check it out. He touches upon my two main reactions to the event (other than “this is amazing”): 1) Watson can basically beat the humans to the buzzer at will. As such, any time it’s a question that more than one contestant knows, it’s going to go to Watson nearly 100% of the time; Jennings mentions in the Slate piece that games between top human players also usually boil down to who has the fastest/luckiest finger, but in the case of Watson, it’s basically never going to be a contest. In a way, then, it’s not necessarily that Watson “knows” more than the other two players, and if the game were played by all three players each being able to answer whichever questions they choose with money going to multiple players if they each got it right, then the game would’ve been a lot closer, and possibly even gone to the humans because they wouldn’t have had to play as aggressively and they’re slightly more aware when they have no idea about a particular question (though Watson was still way better at this than I would’ve ever expected). Still, that’s not how the game is played, and just as Jennings’ own buzzer skill assuredly helped him mow down Jeopardy newcomers for weeks on end, Watson’s speed was simply impossible to overcome. 2) More importantly, for everyone dejectedly Tweeting “Well, Skynet’s officially here, humans are finished,” Ken points out that the IBMers kept saying that Watson’s victory was, in fact, a triumph for humanity, because it represented such an amazing landmark for human technological achievement. I completely agree with this, if only because it allows me to continue to sleep at night in the weeks leading up to Skynet’s inevitable humanity-destroying missile launch. Either way, just make sure someone kills Miles Dyson soon. Other thoughts on the Jeopardy IBM Challenge or Watson? Leave em in the comments.  |
| Model Amazon Eve Is The Tallest Girl In The Room Posted: 17 Feb 2011 07:10 AM PST Being a tall girl (I’m talking over 6 feet) can be great, but it can also be super annoying because not a day goes by when someone doesn’t remark on your height. It’s not a terrible thing, it just gets awfully repetitive. It’s also such an obvious observation, and there’s nothing to really say in response to someone saying, “Wow, you’re tall,” other than, “Yes, I know.” And then you sound like an a-hole. Believe me you, I sound like an a-hole all the time (“We know”-Everyone), but this is not one of those times. Anyway, whatever my little (ha) complaints about being tall, I’ve got nothing on Amazon Eve. She’s 6’8 and she’s the world’s tallest female model. Pretty cool lady. My only complaint is that her life is becoming a reality show. That’s reallllly stepping on Michelle and my idea to shoot our own reality show New York Giants. Whatever, I’m sure there’s room for all of us. Actually, probably not. What with being really tall.  |
| FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The 2011 Westminster Dog Show Posted: 17 Feb 2011 09:35 AM PST
THE BIGGEST POSER
[Photos: Getty Images, LA Times]  |
| SNL Power Rankings: Things Get Shouty When Russell Brand’s Around Posted: 17 Feb 2011 09:42 AM PST
Egads, are your ears still ringing after this weekend’s Saturday Night Live? For whatever reason, the Russell Brand hosted episode was one of the shoutiest since the days of Chris Farley, which has left my cochlea buzzing for the last few days. It’s sort of a shame, really, because I am normally quite fond of Russell Brand’s work and was excited to see what he would do when adhering to the rules of sketch comedy. His monologue was one of the best in quite a long time, but the rest of the episode was tainted by the sheer volume of his shrill accent. While I still feel that Get Him To The Greek is an underrated work, I fear that this weekend’s hosting duties turned me off the prospect of going to see Arthur*. However, Brand (and the cast’s) general shoutiness was NOT the worst part of the episode. Nope, that honor rests with the SNL music booker’s decision to give the stage to Chris Brown on what, for all intents and purposes, was the two-year anniversary of the night he beat the sh*t out of Rihanna. Yes yes, I am a firm believer in second chances, the power of forgiveness, turning the other cheek and all that jive, but this decision by Lorne and his bookers was tone-deaf at best and downright offensive at worst (especially considering the subject matter of Chris Brown’s second song, in which he sang “You already know what time it is / Reach up in the dresser where the condoms is” and promised/threatened to “Leave it in all night”). Ew!
But hey, this isn’t called the SNL Music Power Rankings, is it? Nope, it’s all about how the cast performed. As they say in show biz**, “On with the post!” SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: 2/12/11 (Host: Russell Brand; Musical Guest: Chris Brown) 1. Bill Hader (40 points): Best Stefon ever? I think so! Not only did Snoozin’ Lucci, Fuji Hauser M.D. and the 12 dancing Jewpids (“They just want you to meet someone nice and settle down”) bring the house down, but now Hader and Seth Meyers are starting to explore the sexual tension that exists between them (or, at least that exists in Stefon’s mind). Will this pave the way for Stefon to appear in a segment that isn’t Weekend Update? Fingers crossed. On the non-Stefon front, I must say I really enjoy his take on teary Speaker of the House, John Boehner. Rather than just playing him as a cry baby (which would be the easy thing to do), he infuses his impression with a healthy dose of the Cowardly Lion (which, sadly, is pretty much the extent of “political commentary” that the show does these days). Thumbs up!
3. Fred Armisen (29 points): Thanks to appearances of recurring characters like his President Obama and Hosni Mubarek, Armisen racked up a lot of Appearance Points this week. He didn’t exactly kill with any of his characters this week, but I have to mention this again: If you love Armisen like I love Armisen, you have to watch Portlandia on Friday nights on IFC. 4. Kristen Wiig (26 points): This was only the third appearance of Cheryl “Don’t Call Me Surprise Sue” Bryant, the excitable Publisher’s Clearing House type lady, but I’m hoping it was the last. The bit didn’t work when Emma Stone hosted earlier this season and it isn’t working now, mainly because of how it relies on Wiig’s most annoying mannerisms. 5 (tie). Vanessa Bayer, Jason Sudeikis (13 points): Wow, Vanessa Bayer, wow! Her “Living Single” sketch was easily one of the season’s best skits and, in a weird way, it was also kind of one of the bravest? I mean, Bayer really gave Russell Brand the green light to go to town on her in a way that made me feel more than a little uncomfortable at times. Sure, it was all in the name of comedy, but Brand really pushed the boundaries in this sketch and Bayer responded in kind. She’s got some real talent, it will be a pleasure watching her work the boards in Studio 8H for many moons to come. As for Sudeikis, the “Assassination of George Washington” sketch reminded me a little bit of “Potato Chip” from last season. Sudeikis is really great at portraying blowhards, and his military general in this sketch was aces.
8. Nasim Pedrad (11 points): Not much to say about Pedrad this week, other than “You can’t win ‘em all.” 9 (tie). Abby Elliott, Bobby Moynihan (10 points): Neither one of these Featured Players has shown much this season. Will either be able to get a character that’s worthy of recurring spots before the season’s out? That’s the big question that will determine whether each of these performers are able to take the next step in their SNL careers, or if they’ll go the way of Chris Parnell or Rachel Dratch (moderately well-liked SNL performers who hang around for a long time but no one really cares much when they leave). 11. Jay Pharoah (8 points): I thought his Weezy was pretty good, but he didn’t: He tweeted on Monday that “Nope didn’t enjoy my performance on update as Wayne as much as I enjoyed Taran’s Emenim lol trust when I do it again it’s gon be #classic.” 12. Kenan Thompson (5 points): A quiet week for Kenan, which is quite alright with me. It wasn’t as if we needed someone else shouting their way through an entire episode, right? 13. Paul Brittain (1 point): A non-speaking appearance in the Gublin & Green commercial was all Brittain got to do this week. Here’s hoping we’ll see a return of “Sex” Ed Vincent sometime soon. BONUS VIDEO! Are you one of those lamestreamers who had never heard of Arcade Fire before they won the Grammy for Album of the Year on Sunday night? Just another reason you should be watching SNL, fools! Not only has Arcade Fire been the musical guest on the show twice, but they starred in this awesome digital short earlier this year. Take it away, Win! “Khmer Rouge? SO BOGUS!” SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS Reference Materials: Here’s this week’s sketch-by-sketch breakdown: Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true! *Who am I kidding? I love Greta Gerwig the mostest. I’ll see her in anything.  |
| 8 Name Suggestions For Natalie Portman’s Baby Boy Posted: 16 Feb 2011 01:01 PM PST
My Name Suggestions Are: Weezer Incubus Portman Michelle Collins Suggests: Drink King Portman Dan Hopper Suggests: Ladybird Dustbowl Portman Noah Garfinkel Suggests: Josh Shoeshine Portman Natalie, Ben, choose whichever one you want. None of us will care as long as you pick one of these. I mean, we do have a pool going and one of us stands to make a lot of money. But don’t go Weezer over it or anything. You’re welcome!  |
| Worst Thing Ever Contender: Woman Dies At Her Desk, Isn’t Discovered Until Weekend Posted: 16 Feb 2011 12:45 PM PST Aaaand here’s the worst thing ever. Actually no, that eel up the ass story is still the worst thing ever, but here’s one of the top like, eight or nine worst things things ever. An L.A. County employee died at her desk on Friday afternoon and nobody noticed until a security guard discovered her a day later. Needless to say, this is way more tragic and disturbing than Weekend At Bernie’s (and about on par with W-at-B’s II): AaaggahhhhhhhHHHHH!!!! The worst! If that happened to me, I can’t even imagine the double embarrassment when the security guard’s like “Oh my God, this guy’s dead! Oh my God, this guy was GChatting, checking three fantasy leagues, streaming Larry Sanders on Netflix, reading Rip Torn’s IMDB page, and live-refreshing his ‘Your Tweets, Retweeted’ tab while at work. What was this dead A-hole’s job?” (via Consumerist)  |
| PROOF OF EVOLUTION: Baby Gorilla Learns To Walk Posted: 16 Feb 2011 11:27 AM PST No, wait, don’t take him, we love him. This is a 3-month-old gorilla named Tiny who lives at the London Zoo along with her mother, 12-year-old Mjukuu. (Attention Teen Mom 3 producers: Get Mjukuu on that sh*t.) And we couldn’t help but think while watching little Tiny taking his first steps “Huh. He looks like people.” That’s because HE IS PEOPLE. Thus concluding today’s BWE.tv lesson in SCIENCE.  |
| Gino’s Pizza Commercial Wins Oscars For Best Actor, Best Anything Posted: 16 Feb 2011 12:34 PM PST From the geniuses who brought you Randomly Singing Gold Mom comes this commercial for Gino’s Pizzeria in Staten Island, an Oscarworthy tale of a pizzamaker who is really great at speaking naturally and a family that he really wants to come over for dinner. Will the family come over for dinner? Will Gino sneak in one more line at the end to confirm how good he is at speaking like a normal human on camera? FIND OUT BELOW:
I took the liberty of submitting this For Your Consideration .JPG to the Academy Of Pizza Commercial Arts And Sciences, in the Best Actor and Just Best Anything categories:
 |
| 95-Year-Old Man Is Ready To Crack Local Hoodlum Skulls Posted: 16 Feb 2011 04:04 PM PST
What kind of a monster mugs a 96-year-old man? A very cowardly monster. And that is what 96-year-old man Alfonso Scannapieco, as some thug mugged him in his Queens apartment building hallway for a measly $90. But that mugger gave this man a gift worth far greater than $90. He gave him the gift of being REBORN as an elderly crime fighter. Look at the anger in that man’s eyes! Sorry Antoine Dodson, but no amount of flat irons in the world can give you even a taste of this geriatric’s intensity. I would NOT wanna F*CK with THIS GUY. Furreal tho. (Image via the NY Daily News.)  |
| Comedy Duo The Pajama Men Are Ready For Their Sleepover Posted: 16 Feb 2011 10:16 AM PST
Basically, their act consists of them weaving together a ton of hilarious characters whilst wearing PJ’s. They started wearing pajamas because they do so many different characters that they didn’t have time to change outfits, and now it’s their trademark. I appreciate a love of pajamas as I wear them every day as part of my job too. (Blogger joke). I met them in the five floor walk up Chinatown apartment they are renting for the week while they do their shows. Shows? Did somebody say shows? They are performing their one hour stage show “Last Stand To Reason” at St. Anne’s Warehouse in DUMBO, Brooklyn, February 16, 17, 18 and 19th. Ticket info here. Anyway, as I was saying, they’re renting an apartment in Chinatown, which at first I didn’t realize wasn’t theirs and was slightly confused by all the painted portraits of women on the walls and photos of Audrey Hepburn. They quickly put me at ease by offering me sliced apples. Gentlemen, through and through. Anyway, in our 20 minute chat, this is what I learned about them: Once Shenoah didn’t wear underwear underneath his pajamas and his d*ck slipped out during a show. They invented The Thumb Job. They’re developing their own TV show with the director of The Mighty Boosh. They met in high school in an improv troupe called…The Bears. Their worst professional show happened at Edinburgh. They might* start their own pajama line. They waited an hour and a half for breakfast the other day in NYC. I made them change into their pajamas so that I might take this poor quality photo of them posed in their chess playing bat bit.
WORTH IT!! Anyway, these dudes were a delight to chat with and I’m sure their show is even more delightful. If you’re in New York, check it out.  |
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