Friday, February 25, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


Video: Princeton Men In Speedos Sing 'Teenage Dream'

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 10:53 AM PST

The lip dub is dead. Long live the lip dub! The men’s swim team at Princeton has just made us happy about poorly lipsynched YouTube videos all over again.

If you like half naked dudes (who doesn’t?), mockery of Katie Perry and complete ridiculousness, you will love this video. Bonus points because the swim team made this amazingness for a sick/injured teammate (it’s called “Get Better, Hasler” on YouTube).

And in this case, it totally doesn’t matter that no one can keep a beat or get the words right. Because it is simultaneously homo and hetero-erotic. Is that a thing? I don’t know! But I love it.

Seriously, these boys have figured out a way to fulfill the fantasies of almost every demographic that lusts after beautiful men and funny things.

PS: Don’t miss the outtakes.

(h/t @caro)

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Video: Princeton Men In Speedos Sing 'Teenage Dream'

Lost In Translation: Eye F*cking Isn’t Cheating

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 09:52 AM PST


Lost in Translation is our weekly column from a college guy's perspective.
Boy, oh boy, do I ever enjoy myself a good ol' fashioned across-the-bar tug job. Eye fucking may very well be enough to keep me well behaved and less likely to actually wander or stray outside the nice fenced-in front yard of monogamy.

Look. But don't touch. The rules are simple enough. And for a man with a wandering eye, it's nice to have a loose(r) leash when tossing a few back at the bar.

Exchange with me a nice sensual stare, lids slightly draped over a couple of whiskey-hot peepers, in that damn sultry way that all you females know how to do, and that, dear lady, is worthy of an inaudible groan, a visual erection of sorts. You have my mental pants down and those mind drawers of mine are yanking themselves off as quickly as possible. Let's make this a quickie, though. If this here girl on my right sees us exchanging heated stares, it's back into the doghouse for me.

See, to me, eye fucking isn't cheating.  Cheating requires physical contact. Emotional girlfriends will forever be there. Best friends. Old friends. Friends to whom I turn to when she becomes unbearable and we're teetering on the cusp of yet another fight, yet another breakup. And eye fucking is a way of consummating that relationship, tackling that tension as it is only natural to think of someone you have that strong of a connection with in an intimate way. And there is no denying any one of those thoughts. You should be grateful that my gaze returns to you at the end of the night. And it's with you I'm going home.

I'm not going to stick my chest out and say that it doesn't bother me when she offers a few strokes to someone else's ego. I've seen it happen. And it's bruising. Leaves a nice scar that only heals when she's back to swallowing me with her eyes. But that's exactly what it does.  It keeps me in check. Makes me want to go out of my way to make sure she is turned on BY ME, still interested enough to toss me a in-the-pocket-handjob on the dancefloor. Instead of storming off after noticing my eyes turned elsewhere, leaving me even more vulnerable to temptations around the bar, tug on my shirt elbow, turn me towards you, make me want to eye fuck you.

(Photo: Getty)

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Lost In Translation: Eye F*cking Isn't Cheating

The Daily WTF: Would You Eat A Bologna Lollipop?

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 09:49 AM PST

Here’s some fine democracy at work: the West Michigan Whitecaps minor league baseball team is letting fans vote on new food menu items, and one of the options is a bologna lollipop. Wait, what? That’s not a thing, right? The meal would be a slab of fried bologna on a stick, and it comes with a side of “eeeew.”

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The Daily WTF: Would You Eat A Bologna Lollipop?

In Defense Of Chelsea Handler On Her 36th Birthday

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 09:01 AM PST

Chelsea Handler turns 36 today. To date, she has a successful show, a trio of best-selling books, and more than 3 million Twitter followers — yet still, Chelsea remains one of the most polarizing figures on the comedy scene. That’s due in large part to Chelsea’s bold willingness to say absolutely whatever’s on her mind, be it about herself, another celebrity, or just about anyone else who gets in her line of vision. And while this brazen lack of self-consciousness makes her absolutely abhorred by a subset of America’s TV-watching audience, I think Chelsea Handler is totally awesome.

Here are the first four thread topics on Chelsea’s IMDB message board: “Pig,” “A totally despicable woman,” “Has it really come to this…” and “Talentless.” Her comedic work, which revolves around Chelsea herself as the hard-partying, hard-sexing lynch-pin, is considered gauche and oversharey to a degree that viscerally upsets a lot of people. On the flip side, Jay Leno has said of the comedian, "What I love about Chelsea is that she shows we've reached a point where comedy is comedy—it's not male comedy or female comedy."

Do I agree with Leno’s statement? Not exactly, but I like the sentiment. Chelsea’s comedy is female comedy, intrinsically. She writes what she knows, and what she knows is being a woman — a particular type of societally frowned-upon woman at that. But I think what Jay’s referring to is Chelsea’s wit, that enviable ability to hold her own with the sharpest and quickest male comics on the landscape. And that’s the bottom-line reason I love and respect Chelsea — the woman is really, really goddamn witty, which is the foundation for everything else she does.

I often hear people say that Chelsea Lately is good “for what it is.” Which is a valid point — the show is an fluffy celeb round-up that often feels lazy and slapped-together. But the merit it does have comes from Chelsea’s abilities as a host — once again, that underlying wit. Take her rapid-fire sharpness and add the willingness to say and reveal just about anything, and you get a really solid comedian who’s producing great and interesting work.

Would I want to hang out with Chelsea Handler over dinner? Probably not! I imagine I’d never get a word in edgewise, and the waiter might end up spitting in our soup. But I like watching her on TV and I’m glad she’s doing what she’s doing.

Post from: Crushable

In Defense Of Chelsea Handler On Her 36th Birthday

Dear Charlie Sheen: You Don't Need To Do Meth To Be A Method Actor

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 08:34 AM PST

Charlie, look. I know you’re on a super epic bender and currently in the Bahamas with a stripper, your ex-wife and a marijuana bikini model (I don’t even know what that means? Points for that), but we have to talk.

I know that Major League 3 is coming up, and your character Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn has a bit of a drug habit. But there seems to have been a little miscommunication between you and your agent. The thing is, you don’t actually need to do meth to get the benefits of method acting. Also, you’ve already got the part.

Currently, the CEO of the film’s production company is threatening to cut you from the script, which means your whole drug binge could backfire. Also, it means the movie will be much worse.

Somehow, I only just found out that there is going to be a Major League 3. And I’m not quite sure how the plot is going to work. Is there going to be a major international conflict that sucks all of the pro baseball players into the military and causes a desperate manager to call the old team out of the retirement home and onto the field?

Because I liked that movie better when Madonna was in it and it was called A League Of Their Own. But anyway!

Major League without Wild Thing is like Arby’s without the super secret special cheese sauce. And while I admire the chutzpah with which you challenged the director of Two And A Half Men to a cage match, I think you’re letting your eye off the ball here.

Personally, we’re glad that you single handedly got Two And A Half Men kicked off the air. Somebody had to do it! But from what the ratings tell me, other people appear to like that show. Also! Maybe there is a huge audience of people just dying (literally) to see Major League 3: Arthritis And Old Lace. You don’t want to let those people down.

Even though the greater world might be better off!

(Photo: Major League)

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Dear Charlie Sheen: You Don't Need To Do Meth To Be A Method Actor

Video: Jimmy Fallon's 'Real Housewives of Late Night' is Best

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 07:59 AM PST

Real Housewives mockeries and impersonations are almost, if not more, funny than the actual episodes. There is one caveat, though: the impersonator must know the show inside and out, to capture the true essences of its hilarity. Fortunately, Jimmy Fallon has been outed as a Real Housewives fanatic and recently appeared on Watch What Happens: Live with Andy Cohen. His in-depth fan knowledge of the series translates into pure comedy genius in his skit “Real Housewives of Late Night,” which is back for it’s second season. Jimmy plays his fictional wife, Denise, who I’m positive is inspired by Jill Zarin, and other colleagues of Late Night play their fictional wives, who all run in the same, drama-filled circle. Check out episode one below. Here are some highlights from the season two premiere skit:
  • “You can’t get rid of us. We’re like bedbugs… with bubbies. And vaginas.”
  • “Excuse me, are you on the no-fly list? Just kidding.”
  • “I don’t need Yvonne in my life this year, ok? I’m done with the drama. That’s what the movies are for. If I want drama, I’ll go see The King’s Speech, ok? Save the drama for your mama, ok? And go to the Bahamas. And say hi  to Obama; he’s on a llama.”

(Photo via Mac Chronicles)

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Video: Jimmy Fallon's 'Real Housewives of Late Night' is Best

Video: 'Pussy Furry' Is The Jeopardy Blooper Of The Month

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 07:49 AM PST

We love game show bloopers, especially is they’re vagina-related. LOL! This poor girl won’t be living this one down for a long time and that’s okay. Because “pussy furry”? What a stupid guess.

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Video: 'Pussy Furry' Is The Jeopardy Blooper Of The Month

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 06:35 AM PST

Your American Idol Top 24 - The results are in and the two-dozen semifinalists have been chosen. Check out the full list of contestants. (Rickey.org)

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Cutegreggator: OMG, Baby Giraffes!

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 05:54 AM PST


They’re little, long-necked and wobbly-legged: They’re baby giraffes! With their crazy giraffe hair and their big giraffe eyes, these guys are adorable and ridiculous looking at the same time. Happy Friday!

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Cutegreggator: OMG, Baby Giraffes!

Crush Links: Charlie Sheen's Open Letter to His Fans Includes Words Like "Folly," "Earthworm," and "Fire-Breathing Fists"

Posted: 25 Feb 2011 05:29 AM PST

Two and a Half Men is being shut down for the rest of the reason (wonder why?). Here is Charlie Sheen’s fiercely loyal open letter to his fans, in which he bashes show’s creator and urges his “beautiful and loyal fans” to “march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong .” (Dlisted)

Kelsey Grammer will wed his (pernicious?) fiance, Kayte Walsh, on Broadway. (Us Magazine)

Angelina Pivarnick’s at it again. She chugged alcohol and downed an energy pill to calm nerves before her wrestling debut yesterday. Her biggest concern is getting her $500 hair extensions pulled out… of course. (TMZ)

Justin’s Bieber’s wild birthday plans: eating homemade cheesecake with his grandparents. Will someone corrupt this kid, already? (People)

Ray J says Kim Kardashian can thank the leaking of their sex tape for her current fame. Uh… thanks? (Oh No They Didn’t!)

(Photo via WENN)

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Crush Links: Charlie Sheen's Open Letter to His Fans Includes Words Like "Folly," "Earthworm," and "Fire-Breathing Fists"

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