Cele|bitchy

Sandra Bullock comforts post-split Renee Zellweger, didn’t steal Bradley Cooper
Is Liv Tyler looking a little plastic surgery-ish to anyone else?
Randy Quaid is taking his crazy to the stage too
Chris Brown freaked out on Good Morning America, smashed window
Kirstie Alley premieres her moves on DWTS: how did she do?
Russell Brand wants mainstream American acceptance: will he get it?
Charlie Sheen must submit to a psych exam in order to see his kids
Is Taylor Swift flailing without a good PR strategy?
From the Desk of Clive Owen: The literal and figurative biscuit-tingler
James Franco is the Perez Hilton of celebrity tweeters

Sandra Bullock comforts post-split Renee Zellweger, didn’t steal Bradley Cooper

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 08:58 AM PDT

Wow, whenever there's a random report of Sandra Bullock hooking up with anyone, Sandy not only shoots it down, she meets with the woman she allegedly homewrecked! Amazing. First it was the Scarlett Johansson-Ryan Reynolds situation, and now it's the Renee Zellweger-Bradley Cooper situation. Last week's Star Magazine claimed that Renee's heart was broken when she learned that Bradley was screwing around on her with both Sandra and Jessica Biel. Star's cover story got even more legitimacy when Bradley and Renee split just days later. And now Sandra is letting us now that there's nothing going on with Bradley - because she's spending time with Renee. Us Weekly has a photo of Renee entering Sandra's NYC house - you can see the photo here. And Us Weekly's source claims that infidelity had nothing to do with the split, and that "[Bradley's] career is his #1…There will be rumors, but I can guarantee the guy is all business right now.” PopEater also has a report on how Renee and Sandra are BFFs:

After a heartbreaking split from Bradley Cooper, Renee Zellweger is turning to some very unlikely places for comfort, including New York’s best drag queens, a romantic book about a perfect relationship and her longtime friend Sandra Bullock.

“It’s been a rough couple of days for Renee in New York, but rather than hide away from the world after nursing her heartache, she decided the best revenge was to dress up and paint the town red,” a friend of the actress tells me.

The 41-year-old actress was seen out having the time of her life Sunday evening, dancing and singing along with the drags queens in the cast at the premiere of Bette Midler’s new Broadway musical, ‘Priscilla Queen of the Desert.’

The next day Renee was seen enjoying the company of a good book, ‘The Social Animal,’ described as “the happiest story you’ve ever read.” Then, after lunch, Renee visited with another single lady in the city, friend Sandra Bullock.

“If anyone can cheer a person up after a bad breakup, it’s Sandra,” a friend of Renee’s tells me. “After what Sandra went through, you have no right feeling sorry for yourself at all. I can’t think of a better medicine than spending an hour or two with Sandy. The way she handled herself with such grace and dignity after her split is an inspiration to us all.”

[From PopEater]

Granted, we don't really know what Sandra and Renee talked about. In my mind, Renee could have pulled out a switchblade and threatened Sandy to get off of B. Coop's jock. But I doubt that happened. By the way, I'm still enjoying Renee's lack of pity party. But I still think she's a weird one, and we'll probably never know why she (and her relationships) seem so strange.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Is Liv Tyler looking a little plastic surgery-ish to anyone else?

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 08:26 AM PDT

I'm not a huge fan of Liv Tyler in general, but I don't dislike for any reason. She's pretty harmless, and I appreciate that she's not a famewhore who gets pap'd constantly. She's made some good movies, and she's made some terrible movies, and I'm always surprised that she consistently gets work, because I've never thought she was very talented. But I've always thought she was pretty, in a "different" way. She has a unique beauty, and yet… she has a kind of girl-next-door prettiness that makes her seem like the kind of woman that you could hang out with and go shopping with. Anyway, these are photos of Liv (and her dad) at last night's premiere of Super. At first, I didn't even recognize her. I thought I was looking at photos of Rebecca Hall!

So, here's the question: did Liv get a little nip-tuck, or am I just surprised with these photos because I'm not constantly bombarded with pap photos of her? Something about her eyes looks weird to me. There's a tightness, I guess. Or maybe it's just the makeup? Or because she's standing next to her dad? If she had some work done, I'll be disappointed.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Randy Quaid is taking his crazy to the stage too

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 08:13 AM PDT

Remember how Randy and Evi Quaid got arrested after squatting in the guest house on that mansion they owned over ten years ago? (They also got arrested for failing to pay a $10k hotel bill, but that was prior to this.) Then they fled to Canada and applied for asylum, saying that the “Hollywood Star Whackers” who had supposedly murdered David Carradine, Chris Penn, Heath Ledger and some other celebrities were out for them too. Well celebrity megalomania and paranoia has become performance art, and Randy did some sort of musical performance in Vancouver, Canada, featuring the song “Star Whackers.” Maybe Charlie Sheen was his inspiration. Radar Online reports that Matthew Modine was in the audience at Randy’s performance but that Randy’s wife, Evi, wasn’t there. She was probably afraid of being targeted by the “Star Whackers.”

Randy Quaid but that did not stop actor Matthew Modine from going to watch the fallen star perform Star Whackers in Vancouver, RadarOnline.com can reveal.

The Full Metal Jacket and Memphis Belle actor was in the crowd of around 500 at The Commodore Ballroom on Friday night to watch Quaid let loose – although their was no sign of Randy's wife Evi at the popular venue.

And when all the bands came on stage to do an encore Randy mysteriously bolted from the club and was nowhere to be seen.

Vancouver based music critic Robert Collins told RadarOnline.com: "I was standing right next to Modine and he seemed to be enjoying Quaid perform but there was no sign of Evi at the gig.

"It was a bit of a strange experience to say the least because word just got out around Vancouver that Quaid would be a special guest at the venue the day before.

"He introduced himself as Randy Quaid and spoke briefly about the effect the Star Whackers had on them.

"Randy actually performed two songs, the first was Will We Be Together Then? and that was not bad he has a decent voice.

"Then he started singing Star Wackers and to tell you the truth it was pretty bad – he had a crazed look in his face and was yelling the lyrics.

"At the end he just collapsed on stage all sweaty and you could tell it was an act – the audience was not cruel and seemed to appreciate his efforts when he finished though.

"Although his band members appeared on stage to perform an encore with the other bands Quaid was nowhere to be seen and he left the venue pretty quickly apparently – Matthew Modine did not hang around for a long time either."

RadarOnline.com was first to report that Randy and wife Evi faced criminal charges last year for running out on a hotel bill. Their odyssey has grown stranger and stranger and the couple is now in Canada seeking asylum.

"If they have the need for you to die, that will be a cinch, easy as pie," Quaid sings.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Randy and Evi brought the Star Whackers phrase into prominence in an interview with Good Morning America last November. They claimed that the Star Whackers were plotting against them, all working together to “take the money” they’ve earned in their careers. They also blamed Star Whackers for mysterious deaths of various celebrities.

“We are refugees — I mean that’s essentially what it is — Hollywood refugees, seeking to be left alone by the criminals,” Evi said. “I genuinely feel like these people are trying to kill us.”

[From Radar]

At least Randy (and presumably Evi) are still alive. As terrible as it sounds, I honestly expected them to meet their end somehow. Usually people who are as obsessed with death and murder plots as they are don’t fare too well out in the world. Canada has apparently been good to them. Hopefully their generous healthcare system has provided the Quaids with the pharmaceutical assistance they so clearly need.

Here’s a link to a photo of Randy performing.

Also, here’s Matthew Modine in January. He’s 52! He’s still so cute and has my vote for HGF (ok, using older pics than this one):

Header is from 2008. Photo below of Randy and Evi from 2007. Credit: WENN

Chris Brown freaked out on Good Morning America, smashed window

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 08:01 AM PDT

Oh, what a treat this morning. Now only do we have a letter from Clive Owen, we have the complete opposite of a biscuit-tingling man, Chris Brown. Chris was on Good Morning America this morning to promote his new album. He not only performed but he also was interviewed by GMA's Robin Roberts. Robin asked Chris some questions about how he beat the crap out of Rihanna, and Chris answered those questions with grace and humility, honestly speaking about his struggle to contain his violent temper tantrums. Just kidding! He freaked out and punched a window. Seriously.

Chris Brown exploded in rage behind the scenes at “Good Morning America” this morning … smashing a window and storming out without a shirt … sources tell TMZ … and it was triggered by on-air questions about the Rihanna incident.

ABC sources tell TMZ … Brown performed and was interviewed by Robin Roberts live from the Times Square studio when she began asking about the infamous incident. Brown tried to redirect the questions to focus on his album — but Roberts continued to ask about Brown’s legal issues stemming from the Rihanna incident. We’re told after the interview, Brown freaked out, storming into his dressing room and screaming so loud, the people in hair and makeup became alarmed and called security.

We’re told Brown was out of control, and one source present tells us he smashed a window in his dressing room, and the glass shattered and some shards fell onto 43rd and Broadway. ABC security tells TMZ … the window was shattered with a chair.

We’re told by the time security rushed the area, Brown had ripped off his shirt and left the building, blowing off another performance he was supposed to do for the ABC website. And sources say … on his way out of the building, Brown confronted a segment producer, got in his face and stared him down. People from the show got in between Chris and the producer to diffuse the situation.

Remember — Brown is on probation for the felony beating and he’s required to obey all laws.

UPDATE 6:49 AM: Brown just tweeted, “I’m so over people bringing this past s**t up!!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for there bulls**t.”

UPDATE 6:59 AM: Brown has already deleted the previous tweet … and added a new one that reads, “All my fans!!! This album is for you and only you!!! I’m so tired of everyone else!! Honestly!! I love team breezy!!”

[From TMZ]

So basically, Chris Brown is still a violent sociopath who will freak out, violently, if something doesn't go his way. His temper tantrums and freakouts and asinine behavior are just ridiculous. He's a little bitch, and I hope he has to face some real consequences for his behavior. Bring it, Team Breezy.

Here's the interview that set him off:

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kirstie Alley premieres her moves on DWTS: how did she do?

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 07:36 AM PDT

I watch Castle. I'm a big fan of the show, and because of my affection for the show, I end up watching the tail-end of whatever crap ABC puts on ahead of Castle. Thus, I've seen the last five minutes of way too many Bachelor and Bachelorette shows, and too, too many last dances on Dancing With the Stars. So… last night was the premiere of the newest season of DWTS, and they saved the best for last. "Best" meaning the one "celebrity" that everyone had pegged as the biggest train wreck, although "best" is a good description of Kirstie Alley's performance too. I caught the last seven minutes of the show when Kirstie danced the cha-cha to Cee Lo Green's "Forget You". Um… she was really good! I was surprised with how graceful she was (the dancing stuff starts around the 2 minute mark):

I mean… she was pretty good! Much better than I was expecting. Much better than Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin. Now I'm kind of expecting Kirstie to become the "sweetheart" of DWTS.

I missed Ralph Macchio - how did he do? I saw a bit of Wendy Williams. She sucked, right?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Russell Brand wants mainstream American acceptance: will he get it?

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 07:03 AM PDT

Russell Brand has an interview in the April issue of Details, likely to promote his starring role in the Arthur remake. The Details piece doesn't really have any new information or scandalous quotes, because that's not really who Russell is trying to be at this point. The point of the article is that Russell - with this remake of Arthur and his marriage to a pop star - is aiming for complete mainstream American acceptance. He wants to be Dudley Moore, he wants to be Tom Hanks, he wants to be accepted by everyone. It's a pretty good read - the full piece is here, and here are some highlights:

On his marriage to Katy: "at once the most mundane and spectacular thing in the world." "There are a lot of areas where I've simply relinquished decision-making. It really does make my mates laugh, though."

More about marriage and how it's changed him: “Because now I have something to protect, and it is very odd indeed. There are a lot of things you have to amend to be in a monogamous relationship. I’ve had to readdress everything and start buying deck furniture. On the Titanic. Avoiding the constant icebergs. In the end, putting snowshoes on the bottom of it?”

On his tabloid-fueled rocker-sex-god persona: "Well, it seems obvious that to turn myself into a character—incredibly theatrical and rock-and-roll and languid and sexualized—was to emphasize areas where I was confident, to draw the eye from the obvious deficit of a man only just getting over being a junkie. I've very confident in the physical manifestation of a rocker. And there are aphorisms I still deem tight: the carnal self is the true self. In that barbaric, marauding period of promiscuity, there was a type of Aleister Crowley 'Do what thou wilt' as the sum of the law. That voice you use when you come? I was using it to perform. Not some distant, attic-dwelling emotion brought out occasionally, like a front room you never use except when the vicar visits. I was in there f-cking all the time."

On coping with addiction: "The only way to cope is with a program. If you stop doing recovery, even eating too much chocolate, something will flare up, and I know where that leads, because I've been there before. To me, gravity is heroin, and then death."

[From Details]

He talks about Katy and their marriage quite a bit, and I still feel… like it's going to end up in disaster. I don't think Katy and Russell really have the same goals in life, or for their marriage, and I think Russell is more in love with the idea that he's a changed man rather than being in love with his wife. Plus, I feel very strongly that Russell's true love is Dame Helen Mirren.

Photos courtesy of Details.

Charlie Sheen must submit to a psych exam in order to see his kids

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 06:36 AM PDT

Radar Online has the news that Charlie Sheen is being ordered to submit to an exam by a psychologist before he’ll be regranted any sort of joint custody or visitation with his three year-old twin boys, Max and Bob. It sounds like a good first step, but why is he being given yet another chance by the boys’ mom, his ex Brooke Mueller? I’m sure it has something to do with that mansion he rented her and whatever cash comes along with that. And Brooke could also be motivated by the fact that she wants Charlie to make an appearance on her reality show with Paris Hilton’s family. Her lawyers recently requested that a temporary restraining order she took out against Charlie be lifted once it expires today. Ratings and money trump child welfare yet again. At least she’s making him submit to a psych test for appearance’s sake.

Sheen, 45, hasn’t seen the twins since cops made him surrender them to soon-to-be ex-wife Brooke Mueller — the emotional moments all caught on our cameras.

While the terms of Sheen and Mueller’s custody agreement have remained confidential, RadarOnline.com has learned one clause — which Sheen agreed to — is that he have a full psychological evaluation.

“Charlie must submit to a mental health evaluation with a licensed professional before he can see Bob and Max,” a source with knowledge of the situation said.

“Charlie won’t see the boys until he sees a psychiatrist, that is someone neutral, that hasn’t previously treated him.”

The former Two and a Half Men star has not submitted for the test yet, RadarOnline.com has been told.

His camp did not return our request for comment.

Mueller, 33, has had primary custody of the boys since a court issued a temporary restraining order earlier this month; a court hearing for the TRO was scheduled for Tuesday morning but was taken off calendar.

We first reported how Mueller had demanded Sheen sit for the exam during the tense negotiations because she was “extremely concerned” for the safety of Bob and Max in their father’s presense.

“Charlie knows what he has to do to see the boys,” the source added.

“If he wants to see them, he will do it. Charlie agreed to these terms in the custody agreement. He has to adhere to the terms.”

Added the insider: “The fact is though that before Charlie’s problems began in the last several months, he had had little or no contact with Bob and Max in the previous 16 months.”

[From Radar]

Meanwhile Charlie supposedly passed a drug test administered on March 11 as part of his custody requirements. He’s also allegedly planning to take his one-man crazy show down to Haiti after his friend Sean Penn convinced him to. All proceeds will go to charity. That’s not a bad idea considering how much press he got for giving just one dollar out of every ticket sale for his first couple of gigs to charity.

I haven’t watched the TLC special “Charlie Sheen: On The Brink” yet, but it aired on Sunday and it’s waiting for me on the DVR. The promo spots made me laugh, though. When he’s edited properly Charlie is damn funny. It’s just when we get too much of him at once that the manic craziness comes through. He has 3 million followers on Twitter now.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Is Taylor Swift flailing without a good PR strategy?

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 06:25 AM PDT

For whatever reason, Taylor Swift is in London, and she's been getting pap'd a lot on the trip. These are all photos from the past few days - Swifty in off-the-shoulder red, Swifty in off-the-shoulder beige. I have to admit, as much as the whole Swifty debacle damaged Jake Gyllenhaal's reputation, I also think Swifty's rep has taken a hit. It's not just the Jake situation, it's everything combined. Hooking up with John Mayer, writing a song about riding (and being dumped by) Mayer's racist douche dong, planting stories about her relationship with Jake, and then planting stories about the breakup with Jake… it's all left a bad taste in my mouth, and I doubt I'm alone. Plus, Swifty has been coming across as kind of psycho - she pretty much stalked Jake at the post-Oscars Vanity Fair party.

So, post-Jake Swifty has to change things up a bit, right? Travel to London, pap herself around town. She also has been trying to make the Chord Overstreet thing happen - the two of them went to some sporting event a few weeks ago, but from what I can tell, that PR gambit fizzled. It seems like Swifty doesn't really have a strategy in place, right? Should we help her out?

Here's my PR strategy for Swifty: First, do a makeover. Cut your hair, stop with the little frilly princess dresses for a while, change it up. Secondly, either don't date anyone for several months, or if you do, don't promote the relationship like it's your album about the drop. No one should be thinking about your biscuits for a while. And for God's sake, stop accosting men outside of public bathrooms.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

From the Desk of Clive Owen: The literal and figurative biscuit-tingler

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 05:39 AM PDT

FROM THE DESK OF CLIVE OWEN:

Hello, darlings. Don't let the pornstache disturb you. Imagine the whiskers tickling your neck. Your breasts. Your stomach. Your biscuit. That's better, isn't it? And don't let the little double chin upset you either. I'm getting slightly jowly, but at least I'm not getting plastic surgery. And I don't want you to mess with your beautiful face either.

I just decided to drop you this line from the premiere of my new film, Trust. This mess was directed by David Schwimmer, and it's all about me being a vengeful father after my daughter goes on the Internet and some predator gets to her. I take out the Internet predators. I'm like Chris Hanson, only I have a pornstache and your biscuits are tingling. But yes, this film looks like a disaster. I apologize.

By the way, as you may remember from previous letters, this pornstache is because I'm playing Ernest Hemingway. I'm not sure if that's a biscuit-tingler or not, but at least I'm still working.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

James Franco is the Perez Hilton of celebrity tweeters

Posted: 22 Mar 2011 05:27 AM PDT

Oscar writer and comic Bruce Vilanch was asked by NY Magazine for his thoughts on James Franco’s performance as a co-host of the ceremony this year. Vilanch is one of a team of about four writers responsible for the cringe-worthy out-of-date jokes at this years’ Oscar ceremony. He said that he approved of the idea to use Franco and Hathaway as hosts, but when it came down to it Franco wasn’t experienced enough. Vilanch also denied that Franco was high when he hosted, as many suspected:

Longtime Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch isn’t one to mince words about awards-show hosts, so when we caught up with him last night at the premiere of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, we had to ask him about James Franco and Anne Hathaway, who emceed this year’s poorly received Academy Awards broadcast. “I have to call James Franco and tell him the show’s over,” Vilanch quipped. “He doesn’t know. He took a nap and he woke up in class.” Does Vilanch attribute Franco’s sleepy performance to an actual lack of sleep? “He has so many balls in the air, he didn’t get to town till Thursday before the show on Sunday. And so we e-mailed a lot. But we had a lot of meetings. He had a bunch of people who were writing for him, and if it had been him alone, it would have been different. But it was him and Anne Hathaway, and they both had to be serviced. So there was a lot of communication beforehand. But he didn’t get there.”

“I don’t think he realized how big a deal it is to do it until he was actually confronted with it,” Vilanch continued. “I think he thought he would kind of … I don’t know what he thought. I thought maybe it was a performance-art prank, and then I realized he sincerely wanted to do it. But it’s outside of those guys’ comfort zones. The only people who know how to host those shows are people who get up onstage every night and say, ‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. A funny thing happened … ‘ Or people like Bette [Midler] who get up and sing all night and tell stories.”

Still, Vilanch had been in favor of the pairing, which was suggested by producers Bruce Cohen and Don Mischer. “I told them what I thought. I liked the two of them [James and Anne], and what I like about them is they both hosted Saturday Night Live successfully, and what that meant is they knew all about working live, with little rehearsal, with many script changes, and a lot of pressure. And that’s sort of half of the job right there of the Oscar show.”

One last question: Was Franco really stoned, as rumored?

“No, he wasn’t high,” Vilanch said. “I was with him, and he wasn’t high. And I asked him, ‘Are you high, and can I have some?’ And he said no to both.”

[From NYMag.com via Huffington Post]

Here’s the thing - Franco did phone it in, and while I’ve defended him in the past I’ve come around on this and do find him to be an arrogant prick now. He could have prepared better, he could have looked like he wanted to be there and he could have tried. I’ll repeat what I said after the Oscars and still believe now, though - the jokes sucked and no one could have made them funny. The ceremony was extremely long and boring as usual and that’s in no way the fault of the hosts. As I’ve also mentioned before, when Jon Stewart hosted in 2006 and brought his A game and a team of writers from the Daily Show he got panned too. There’s a tendency to blame the host (and Franco is an understandable target given his attitude) when blame should be placed on the writers and producers for putting out a long, unwieldy and in no way entertaining mess.

Franco is a sulky bitch who can’t handle criticism, however. He scrawled a message on a picture of Villant in response to these comments. He wrote a quote for Villant in Perez Hilton style MS Paint style: “James f’cked up the Oscars. Trust me, I know comedy. I mean, come on, I write for Bette Midler.” He’s since deleted the picture, but it’s out there now.

This isn’t the first time Franco has done this. Earlier this month he scrawled a message to his school newspaper, The Yale Daily News, on a photo of himself earlier in response to a negative article they ran about him. He wrote “F’ck the Yale Daily News”

Note to James Franco: try Picnik.com to add quotes and text to photos. You can pick from several different fonts, but they won’t give your petulant photo responses the grade school quality they deserve.

Photos are of Franco outside The Daily Show on 1/25/11. Credit: Fame

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Cele|bitchy

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