Cele|bitchy

Scott Disick’s Men’s Fitness cover: awesomely bad or just plain bad?
Britney Spears’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About…” is hilarious
Matt Damon, plastic surgery victims come out to ‘His Way’ premiere
Elizabeth Taylor passes away at the age of 79
Brangelina’s “organized chaos” big happy family takes the cover of People
Katie Holmes’ good makeup & Stella McCartney jacket: cute or cheap?
Paris Hilton turned down hookup with Vin Diesel ‘I can’t stand black guys’
Hugh Hefner’s fiancée Crystal Harris is screwing around with Dr. Phil’s son
James Franco apologizes for scrawled bitchy message using scrawled nice message
50 Cent says Chelsea Handler is confident, cool and not all that sexy

Scott Disick’s Men’s Fitness cover: awesomely bad or just plain bad?

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 08:58 AM PDT

Hahhaha. Scott Disick, douche extraordinaire covers the new issue of Men's Fitness. I've always been ambivalent about that magazine, just because they usually get really great cover guys, but then they don't do a thorough interview, only asking celebrity men about their workouts and junk. Anyway, step aside Gerard Butler, Scott Disick is a cover boy now. And look what the Photoshoppers did to his face! It's like they were trying to make his face less creepy and serial killer-esque, and instead he got morphed into some kind of eyeless demon. The Fab Life is saying that Scott is sucking in his gut too. Excellent.

But what does Kourtney think of one of the leading contenders for Mason-Dixon's daddy (coughPremoStallonecough)? Kourt thinks Scott looks like ~~Patrick Bateman~~ James Dean! Ugh, I hate how Kourtney sets the bar so low for herself.

Here's the clip from their show where Scott is shooting his cover. One day, this man is going to throw a truck full of Kardashians into the wood chipper.

Photos courtesy of Kourtney's blog.

Britney Spears’s “25 Things You Don’t Know About…” is hilarious

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 08:33 AM PDT

Over the past month, Britney Spears has been doing press for her new album, Femme Fatale. That press has been… odd, to say the least. If you look through some of Britney's major interviews lately, the interviews rarely, if ever, take place face to face. Britney ("Britney") answered questions on her Twitter account, and she sounded… unlike the Britney we know. It sounded more like one of Brit's handlers was just answering those questions for her. Then, for her Out Magazine interview, the questions were submitted to Britney via email, and she answered via email. From what I can see, the only face-to-face interview she's done so far is the one for V Magazine, in which she only answered a handful of questions.

So… basically, I'm accusing Britney's team of pulling a not-so-fast one on the general public. Britney isn't really doing her own press, in my opinion. If it was any other celebrity, media outlets wouldn't allow it. So why are they letting Britney get away with it now? Because of her mental issues? Because we collectively feel bad for her? Because she's Britney, bitch? Whatever. All I know is that I rolled my eyes and giggled at Britney's latest "interview" - an Us Weekly "25 Things You Don't Know About…" piece. I have to hand it to whoever is writing this junk, they actually make an effort to use Brit's "voice".

1. My favorite ice cream is orange sherbet.
2. I take two baths a day.
3. I love chewing ice.
4. I make a mean fake dinosaur when playing with the two loves of my life, Sean, 5, and Jayden, 4.
5. My favorite flowers are white lilies.
6. I’m a huge fan of animated films.
7. I can eat chocolate morning, noon and night.
8. I love boutique shopping.
9. I have more than 50 purses in my closet.
10. I have more than 50 jackets in my closet.
11. I love to draw.
12. I enjoy cooking spaghetti.
13. I’m secretly a photographer.
14. I’m addicted to shopping online.
15. I collect dolls.
16. I love Adele’s new album.
17. I really want to learn another language.
18. I played basketball — guard — in high school.
19. I don’t own a cellphone.
20. I’m constantly cleaning my house.
21. My favorite drink is sweet ice tea.
22. I love I Love Lucy.
23. I make my own bed every morning.
24. I made the first move on [beau] Jason Trawick.
25. I wrecked my mom’s Lexus in high school.

[From Us Weekly]

No go back and re-read it with a twang, and add "y'all" to every line. Oh, and change all the my's to mah's.

Just a few points though - are we supposed to believe that Britney bathes twice a day? No, Brit. We've seen your busted, greasy weave. Not buying it. Also, "I made the first move on Jason Trawick." God, I actually believe that, but I just don't want to picture it. Britney was still in pretty bad shape when she and Jason first got together - how in the world did she come on to him? Did she just rub herself on his leg and put his hand on her trashy weave? Ugh.

Here are some shots of Britney for her album:

Photos courtesy of WENN & The Daily Mail (Brit's promotional shots).

Matt Damon, plastic surgery victims come out to ‘His Way’ premiere

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 08:07 AM PDT

There’s a new TV documentary out about Oceans creator Jerry Weintraub called His Way. It premieres on HBO April 4, and if it includes candid footage with celebrities I’m there! Some of the stars of the popular disjointed buddy crime caper series came out for the premiere last night, and there were plenty of other celebrities there to show support. Matt Damon was looking grumpy hot and flying solo and there were so many other big names there it’s hard to do justice to them all. As Kaiser pointed out to me, George Clooney and Brad Pitt were noticeably absent. We still have plenty of other people to talk about though.

James and Scott Caan, intergenerational hotness.

Don Cheadle - ditch the bowling shoes and vary your wardrobe a little!

Ellen Barkin looks like ET

Mariel Hemingway looks like Ellen Barkin’s too tight sister. It’s a shame.

Kelly Lynch. Holy Botox! She’s 52 though, can you believe it?

Cindy Crawford. This is what good work (+ good genes) look like.

Anne Heche. Crazy bitch. I can’t believe she’s still with this guy she cheated with.

Sharon Stone. Ditto on the crazy bitch part.

Joan Collins. Fabulous coat.

Elliot Gould. He just makes me smile. I love that he’s listening to his iPod on the red carpet.

Bruce Willis and his young bride Emma Hemming. I can’t believe she’s not knocked up yet. Bruce Willis for HGF!

Emile Hirsh - HGF candidate? He’s cute!

Damon again before he roughly pushes me up against the wall, letting me mess up his hair for hours before we finally leave the house to get something to eat and go to the damn barber already. (While I spend the day at the spa.) I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday.*sigh*

And here’s Jerry Weintraub with Ellen Barkin.

photo credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures

Elizabeth Taylor passes away at the age of 79

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 07:53 AM PDT

Damn, this is a sad way to start a Wednesday morning. Elizabeth Taylor has passed away at the age of 79. She died this morning, in LA, and the statement given to ABC News says that she was surrounded by her four children. She was a three time Oscar winner - she won Best Actress Oscars for Butterfield 8 and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and she also received an honorary Oscar for her humanitarian work. Go to IMDB and check out her filmography - she made some really, really good movies, and she was a much better actress than most people gave her credit for. Beyond her filmography, Elizabeth was known for many, many marriages, especially to Mike Todd and Richard Burton. She was also on the forefront of the campaign against HIV/AIDS, and she was one of the first Hollywood stars to raise money for AIDS research. Even in her passing, she asks people to donate to the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation in lieu of flowers.

Oscar winning actress Elizabeth Taylor died today at Los Angeles, Calif.’s Cedars-Sinai Hospital. She was 79-years-old.

“She was surrounded by her children: Michael Wilding, Christopher Wilding, Liza Todd, and Maria Burton,” Taylor’s publicist, Sally Morrison, said in a statement.

“My Mother was an extraordinary woman who lived life to the fullest, with great passion, humor, and love,” Michael Wilding said in a statement. “Though her loss is devastating to those of us who held her so close and so dear, we will always be inspired by her enduring contribution to our world. Her remarkable body of work in film, her ongoing success as a businesswoman, and her brave and relentless advocacy in the fight against HIV/AIDS, all make us all incredibly proud of what she accomplished. We know, quite simply, that the world is a better place for Mom having lived in it. Her legacy will never fade, her spirit will always be with us, and her love will live forever in our hearts.”

In addition to her children, Taylor is survived by 10 grand children and four great grandchildren. Morrison said that a private family funeral will be held later this week. In lieu of flowers, the family asked that contributions be made to the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation and said that those wanting to send personal messages can log on to Taylor’s official Facebook page.

Taylor, a two-time Academy Award-winning actress who in later life became notorious for her seven marriages and sometimes eccentric behavior, had reported health problems in recent years and appeared frail in public appearances. Six weeks ago, she was hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Though she had recently suffered a number of complications, her condition had stabilized and it was hoped that she would be able to return home.

Taylor reported in October 2009 that she was having a heart procedure done. Via Twitter, she said it was “very new and involves repairing my leaky valve using a clip device, without open heart surgery so that my heart will function better.”

The actress’ past health setbacks included a fall from a horse during one of her early film shoots, bouts with pneumonia and skin cancer, a tracheotomy, treatment for alcohol and painkiller addictions, and lung, hip, brain and heart surgeries. She has had anywhere from 30 to 40 surgeries, according to biographers.

[From ABC News]

Over Christmas, I read Furious Love, which is the amazing story of the romance of Elizabeth and Richard Burton, from their early courtship on the set of Cleopatra (while both were married), to the last letter Burton wrote to Elizabeth, the night that he died. I think in Elizabeth's mind, she never stopped loving Richard or tending to her memories of him, and I hope they are together today, somewhere. Maybe having a drink with Mike Todd in heaven.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Brangelina’s “organized chaos” big happy family takes the cover of People

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 07:51 AM PDT

On Sunday, I published the new photos we had of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and all six of their children. The brood was walking around New Orleans, and they ended up buying some treats at Verti Market. The photos were cute, and notable because there hasn't been a six-kid-strong public outing in a while. Also notable: how big Vivienne and Knox (and Fax Cannes, for that matter) are getting, and how all of the biological children basically all look alike. Anyway, for some reason, this outing was important enough to make the cover of People Magazine this week. Weird, right?

The family that sightsees together, stays together.

Roaming New Orleans last weekend, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were just continuing their family tradition of on-the-go together time with their brood of six: Maddox, 9; Pax, 7; Zahara, 6; Shiloh, 4; and 2-year-old twins Knox and Vivienne.

But the famously globetrotting clan isn’t always on the road: With the kids getting older, school schedules have started to take precedence and the family is often based in Los Angeles – where their day-to-day life is surprisingly ordinary.

“The family live in a way that can best be described as organized chaos,” an insider tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “Of course it’s wild when all the kids are there, and evening tends to be a bit chaotic with dinner and bedtime.”

Pitt, 47, and Jolie, 35, “are both good with rules, and there are definitely consequences, like time-outs, for bad behavior,” adds the source. “But for the most part the kids all get along.”

[From People]

Okay, this is actually starting to scare me a little, because I genuinely like/adore the Jolie-Pitts. What is up with them? Why the People Magazine cover reinforcing their solidarity? What are they trying to prove? It feels like there's another shoe that's about to drop. And I've said it before - I can handle whatever negative Jolie-Pitt story there is, because there are millions of negative stories and Angelina and Brad manage to keep on making it work. But I get suspicious and worried whenever their press gets too positive and ass-kissy. And this cover makes me suspicious.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Katie Holmes’ good makeup & Stella McCartney jacket: cute or cheap?

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 07:17 AM PDT

These are photos of Katie Holmes' appearance last night at the "premiere" of The Decision. What's that, you ask? Katie stars in the short film (commercial) called The Decision, which promotes John Frieda Precision Foam Colour. The commerical is about the Katie Holmes character "Joan Hudson" who is "a high-profile actress who leaves her colorist and decides to start coloring her own hair." Katie said about the experience: "I love the idea of doing a short film about something I feel is really important to women! I also love being a part of promoting a product that is available to all women."

So… this whole thing is basically just an advertisement for hair color. That being said, I'm intrigued. I've been meaning to dye the grey out for a few years now, and I never get around to it. Should I try John Frieda Precision Foam Colour? The Kate-bot endorses it!

Regarding Katie's ensemble: the jacket is Stella McCartney, the pants are Alexander Wang. FabSugar has more details here - it's interesting to me that the ensemble actually costs $2400-plus. As I've said before, Katie is just one of those women who makes expensive clothes look super-cheap. That being said, Katie does look kind of cute here. Her makeup in particular looks great.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Paris Hilton turned down hookup with Vin Diesel ‘I can’t stand black guys’

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 06:57 AM PDT

It’s already sort-of known that Paris Hilton is a racist. (I say sort-of because a lot of people have forgotten it.) In one of the videos unearthed by that “Paris Exposed” site in 2007, Paris is shown dancing at a party or club with her sister, Nicky, and making an awkward reference to their skills by saying “we’re like two n-words.” (You can watch the video here.) On that tape, she also calls a guy the anti-gay f word and calls some girl she doesn’t like a “f’cking hoodlum whore, broke, poor bitch from like Compton. Public school bitch.” It’s dumb, racist and bigoted, but I guess we can’t expect much more from this girl. A new book has come out by Neil Strauss dishing on some of the things he’s witnessed interviewing the rich and famous. He details an interview with Paris Hilton in 1999, when she was just 18 and bragged about getting a boob job at 14 (but supposedly being made to take them out by her mom) and how she rejected a hook up with Vin Diesel because she thought he was black. She was of age, but Vin Diesel is 13 years older than she is and would have been 31 at the time.

HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
Which guy?
HILTON (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can't stand black guys. I would never touch one. It's gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.

[From LA Weekly via The Superficial]

I’m sure Diesel didn’t want to catch the herp either, but maybe Paris hadn’t contracted it at that point. (Doubtful.) So not only is she a racist fool, she’s also dumb enough to turn down a hook up with Vin Diesel because he looks possibly black. It boggles the mind that someone could be that bigoted. Chances are that most of her family members are raging racists too. Dumb bitch had to learn it somewhere.

Paris is shown on 3/1, and on 3/18/11 with her high BFF, Brooke Mueller. She’s not looking pregnant anymore, thank God. Credit: WENN.com. Vin Diesel is shown on 11/4/10 in Rio. Credit: Fame Pictures

Hugh Hefner’s fiancée Crystal Harris is screwing around with Dr. Phil’s son

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 06:48 AM PDT

Life & Style's Scene Queens are reporting that Hugh Hefner's fiancée Crystal Harris, 24 (hahaha), is screwing around on Hef! But she's not (allegedly) riding some athlete or magician, alas. No, she's supposedly boning a guy named Jordan McGraw, best known as Dr. Phil McGraw's son. Ugh. Here's a photo of Jordan:

Well, it's not as bad as it could be, looks-wise. Although you would think a smart gold-digger would have just aimed for the golden goose and just boned Dr. Phil. Who cheats on Hef with some son of a B-lister?

Hugh Hefner's fiancée, Crystal Harris, is doing more than just making music with her former record producer, Jordan McGraw. The Life & Style Scene Queens can exclusively reveal that Crystal — who got engaged to Hef in December — has been caught with another man…and it's Dr. Phil's son, Jordan!

We watched the 24-year-old lovebirds cozy up at the Chateau Marmont in LA on March 14. While Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key, Jordan didn't care to hide his affections, kissing her shoulder and trying to hold her hand — still adorned with her 6-carat engagement ring. Despite Crystal's impending June 18 wedding date to the Playboy founder, sources tell us that she and Jordan are very happy together.

"They've been sneaking around because Crystal is supposed to be happily engaged to Hef, and going out in public with Jordan would tarnish Hef and Crystal's relationship image," a source tells the Scene Queens.

The pair met through the Organica record label, where until recently Jordan worked as Crystal's music producer. "Jordan was let go from Organica for dating female clients under the label," the source says. "Jordan McGraw no longer works for the label," Michael Blakey, president of the Organica Music Group, confirms to us, adding, "To the best of my knowledge, Crystal is very much in love with Hef." Says a rep for Playboy, "Jordan and Crystal have a business relationship."

Crystal's wandering ways won't come as a surprise to Hef's ex Holly Madison, who told us just weeks ago, "Crystal may break Hef's heart."

Crystal follows in the footsteps of another of Hugh Hefner's live-in girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson. In her book Sliding Into Home, Kendra reveals that she snuck out to see nowhubby Hank Baskett.

"Our relationship was secret," Kendra wrote. "[Hank] could only see me in private."

[From Life & Style]

I mean, on one side, I'm kind of happy for her because she's out getting hers, you know? If I had to ride Hef, I might throw up on him (and I actually kind of like and respect him, I just don't want to screw him). So, two 24-year-olds are fooling around. Not a story. Except for that whole "fooling around with another dude while engaged to a 84-year-old man" thing. How dumb is this gold-digger?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

James Franco apologizes for scrawled bitchy message using scrawled nice message

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 06:07 AM PDT

James Franco got a lot of press yesterday for a bitchy photo he posted responded to some mild criticism from Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch on his poor turn at hosting the Oscars this year. Instead of ignoring it as he should have done and realizing that responding would only bring more attention to the fact that he blew it as a host, he posted a photo on Twitter with a scrawled caption for Vilanch mocking him. Well Vilanch responded to Franco’s response to his criticism, and basically said that he wasn’t just ripping on Franco out of the blue and that his words were taken out of context. Then Franco put up a photo of Vilanch’s response wrote “Thank you” with MS Paint on top and added “sorry for reading stupid blogs,” as if it’s the bloggers’ fault that he’s a petulant bitch.

Following what seemed to be an attack on his hosting performance by longtime Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch, a vengeful James Franco tweeted out a graffiti’d photo mocking Vilanch’s career.

The photo can be seen here; the crux of Vilanch’s comments is:

“I don’t think he realized how big a deal it is to do it until he was actually confronted with it. I think he thought he would kind of … I don’t know what he thought. I thought maybe it was a performance-art prank, and then I realized he sincerely wanted to do it. But it’s outside of those guys’ comfort zones. The only people who know how to host those shows are people who get up onstage every night and say, ‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. A funny thing happened … ‘ Or people like Bette [Midler] who get up and sing all night and tell stories.”

Turns out, Vilanch didn’t quite mean what he said maliciously; in a message to Franco, he claimed that he actually defending his host. It reads, in part:

“i was JOKING with this guy on the red carpet about all the sleeping jokes about you. he then got vehement about how bad you were and i was trying to DEFEND you. i don’t know what version, what context you read these remarks in, but believe me, i would never diss you. that’s not my style.”

It was an apology that Franco accepted, and he tweeted a photo of the message and his response, which calls out dumb blogs. Breathe easy: all is right with Hollywood.

[From Huffington Post]

At first I thought Franco’s response was nice, but then I thought about it and realized that he wasn’t taking responsibility at all for being a whiny baby about it. He has reasoning skills, he can read someone’s comments and decide whether to be offended or not without taking the editorial part at face value. He didn’t even bother to write any kind of explanation when he took offense or later when he tried to apologize and is instead scrawling on photos like the passive aggressive dick that he is. I used to like James Franco and I forgave him for screwing up the Oscars, but he’s on my sh*t list now.

Photos of Franco from the Independent Spirit Awards on 1/26/11. Credit: WENN.com

50 Cent says Chelsea Handler is confident, cool and not all that sexy

Posted: 23 Mar 2011 06:05 AM PDT

Last year, Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent began "dating". No one really knew if they were actually dating or if they were just doing some kind of mutual stunt queen thing. They posed for Twit-pics together, and even got a pap'd a few times. The romance, real or fake, was short-lived however. I know, shocking. Who would have thought that a racist drunk and an A-list rapper wouldn't be able to work in the long run?

So Chelsea and 50 split up or whatever, and almost immediately Chelsea began "dating" Andre Balazs. I actually think Chelsea really likes Andre, and she's reportedly been very possessive of him when they're out at parties. But Chelsea couldn't just let the 50 Cent "breakup" go, and Us Weekly had a suspiciously Chelsea-friendly article about how Chelsea had left 50 "heartbroken" after their split.

Now 50 Cent covers the new issue of Vibe, and he sets the record straight about Chelsea. Part of it is a compliment… part of it is not.

“Chelsea is confident. I think confidence is the sexiest thing about a person. She’s the kind of person that if you’re blessed with the opportunity to hang out with her, you’ll enjoy it. I’m not sure you’ll look at her and actually want to jump over the table and f-ck her, but you might. You would leave after talking with her feeling that she is a cool person.”

[From Vibe]

"I’m not sure you’ll look at her and actually want to jump over the table and f-ck her, but you might." So… 50 Cent is saying Chelsea is a fun person to get wasted and coked up with, but that she's the opposite of sexy? Sounds about right.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Twit-pic.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

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