Saturday, May 7, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Charlie Sheen Celebrates 94th Birthday

Posted: 06 May 2011 02:33 PM PDT

Charlie Sheen took a break from his stint as Bernie in Weekend At Bernie’s: Live to attend the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation’s 8th Annual Gala “Finding A Cure: A Love Story.” Coincidentally, it was also his 94th birthday!

Yes, that’s Charlie Sheen and one of his goddesses Natalie Kenley. Charlie’s looking awesome for a slice of peppercorn turkey left out in the dirt too long. But for real, can’t a doctor tackle him from behind and get him to a hospital? He has reverse Benjamin Button disease, which I think is actually the plot to the movie Jack. It’s all too confusing.

Ahead, a close-up of Charlie that will stay with you, deep inside of you, until your last days.

Jesus. Charlie Sheen is so gone he’s gonna need like 28 steps at this point.

[Photo: Splash News]

Here’s What It’s Like To Fall Down A Frozen Mountain

Posted: 06 May 2011 01:39 PM PDT

Here’s an amazing first-person video of a snowmobile rider wiping out on a mountain peak and tumbling down the side of the mountain for about three minutes. It is simultaneously amazing, terrifying, hilarious, and reminiscent of the Smashing Pumpkins’ 1979 video, but snowier.

The snowpocalypse begins around 0:48:

After the incident, the rider had this to say of his near-death experience:

(via With Leather)

Vegas Odds: Who’s The Celeb That Has The Best Ever Cinco De Mayo Spirit?

Posted: 06 May 2011 01:16 PM PDT

Did Reese Witherspoon Have An Affair With This Elephant?

Posted: 06 May 2011 11:15 AM PDT

It’s an exceptionally slow day on the internet, especially since Obama successfully killed Charlie Sheen, so we’ve given ourselves the green light to just do what the gossip mags do (when in Gossip Rome!) and invent some celebrity news.

Judging by the above picture of Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon continuing their Water For Elephants promotion in Sydney, Australia today, we have to ask the shocking question: Is Reese Witherspoon having an affair with this elephant?

Let’s go to the elephidence (evidence):

We’ve seen that glance before — it’s the knowing “Happy Birthday, Mister President” eye contact between lovers who subconsciously want the world to know of their passionate sidegames without coming out and scandalously declaring it. And we’re to believe Reese and Elephie just HAPPEN to be looking at each other like this in the middle of a publicity shoot? Cahhhmannnn — CLASSIC case of on-set canoodling to promote a project. Like Kate Hudson and that giraffe from Fool’s Gold.

Exhibit B:

R-Patz, looking very deliberately nonchalant. Granted, this is how he looks every second of his waking life (and during most sleep cycles), but if you were standing between two lovers who deep down make you jealous even though you could have any other woman in Sydney, wouldn’t you also be going out of your way to look as normal and undisturbed as possible? You’d be all like, “I could’ve slept with her if I wanted but I’m taken so, whatever, good on you, elephant co-star.” Then you’d get drunk with the elephant one night and keep telling him “Seriously though that is one great lady ya got there under yer trunk. Treat her right.”

So that pretty much settles it. Reese and elephant = NEW BEAUS. Feel free to slap that on an In Touch cover with the headline “Elephants and Women Never Forget – To SNUGGLE!”, get people buzzing, help promote the movie in Australia (they can use it), and in the long run, literally everybody wins. This isn’t so hard, people.
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