Crushable |
- Sex on the Wire: The Worst Ways to Fix Your Relationship
- Bridget Marquardt’s Favorite Restaurant Is Closing
- Video: Caroline Manzo’s Handbag Commercial Is Delightfully Weird
- Boyfriend of the Week: Simon Cowell
- Snap This: Jennifer Garner Runs Errands in Sneakers
- Dancing with the Stars: Ralph Macchio Says Goodbye as the Final Three Are Named
- 5 Facts About ’16 and Pregnant’ Star Cleondra Carter
- Video: Watch a Clip from ‘Super 8′
- 15 Reality Show Stars Who Got Arrested
- Lessons the Disney Princesses Taught Me, Illustrated By Memes and Fan Art
| Sex on the Wire: The Worst Ways to Fix Your Relationship Posted: 18 May 2011 10:51 AM PDT • So, okay, apparently the way you say the words you say is how you find love. Based on the construction of that last sentence, we will be lonely forever. (MyDaily) • Here’s how women feel about the casual hookup: better than a vibrator, basically. (Betty Confidential) • Here are the five worst ways to reignite a relationship. #1: dynamite. (YourTango) • Does Bradley Cooper have a new girlfriend? Ooh la la. (Celebuzz) • Real talk: do women have body ideals when it comes to men? Let’s find out, shall we? (The Gloss) Post from: Crushable Sex on the Wire: The Worst Ways to Fix Your Relationship |
| Bridget Marquardt’s Favorite Restaurant Is Closing Posted: 18 May 2011 10:40 AM PDT
Considering how much Bridget loved dressing up in themed costumes, it’s no wonder she liked Jekyll & Hyde so much. Sadly, the restaurant has announced that they’ll be closing their flagship location in midtown Manhattan later this year. Luckily, there are still other locations, but it’ll never quite be the same for our poor Bridget. In related news, fellow Girls Next Door castmate Kendra Wilkinson‘s favorite restaurant, the Olive Garden, seems to be in no danger of closing down. Post from: Crushable Bridget Marquardt’s Favorite Restaurant Is Closing |
| Video: Caroline Manzo’s Handbag Commercial Is Delightfully Weird Posted: 18 May 2011 09:50 AM PDT Thanks go out to the awesome commenter Jim D, who left a note about this video yesterday. Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Caroline Manzo is in this ad for what seems to be a purse store in Chinatown (as a lover of knockoffs, I’d know that fake paneling anywhere). Oh, wait, the commercial is actually for a line of handbags Caroline is selling, and they’re called Kristino. Well, at least her new hair looks great. Post from: Crushable Video: Caroline Manzo’s Handbag Commercial Is Delightfully Weird |
| Boyfriend of the Week: Simon Cowell Posted: 18 May 2011 09:43 AM PDT
People were so quick to say that this season of Idol was better than ever, what with J. Lo playing the cool aunt you go to when your mom's being a total bitch and you need to borrow doorknocker hoops or get fitted for a NuvaRing®, Randy playing your uncle who used to tour with Journey and won't let you forget it, and Steven Tyler playing the mystic old lady you met out during that Joshua Tree weekend who ceremonially kills her own chickens and wears their tail feathers in her hair to absorb their life energy. But as the season dragged on, it became more and more apparent that we were just watching a bunch of helicopter parents. We were watching the completely bullshit message of Bieber's Never Say Never in action, that message being that everyone has a Bieber within him, and you just have to want to be a Bieber bad enough to make that a reality. Even when Randy suddenly decided to use the wonderfully boozy Haley Reinhart as his landing pad, he descended upon her without any logical reason. The randomness of his criticisms (she chose a song that wasn't on the radio yet; she sang songs from different genres; she sang a song that wasn't for her; she should growl more; she should growl less) just illuminated the probability that even he doesn't understand why he doesn't like her. All I can make out is that she's kind of like his Tracy Flick— that she has come to stand in for something he finds upsetting, and maybe it's a message about himself. But Simon, Simon always knew why he didn't like you. Maybe it was your tragic personality or your even more tragic blind spot about your likability. Maybe it was an inbred cheesiness that you couldn't escape, no matter how profound the song you chose. Maybe it was that he didn't believe he could make money off of you. Maybe it was because your parents had raised you to be a horrible pageant child with a soulless flipper of a smile and the cheap, cold metal of trophies running through your veins. Maybe it was because you kept talking about how god was looking out for you during a televised singing contest. And maybe it was for as something as simple as the way you dressed, or your hippie hookah lamp mic stand. The bottom line is, he knew. People made fun of Simon's hard nipples poking against his v-neck shirts, but you know what those pencil erasers spoke of to me? They spoke of conviction. And conviction is the result of knowing yourself; knowing something about the value of others is merely a byproduct. I'm not the only one in my house that misses Simon. First of all, I believe my dog Christmas misses him because she saw how much he loves dogs in the episode where he adoringly took an auditioning contestant's Shih Tzu into his lap, and also because he regularly gives money and vocal support to dog foundations. Second of all, not a week goes by that I don't hear Brent yelling about how if Simon were there this season he would tell Scotty McCreery to stop holding his microphone like he's playing a skin flute or that he would tell James Durbin to stop acting like he invented hair metal light or he would tell Pia Toscano that the phonebook would be more exciting to watch singing the phonebook. Brent will usually get worked up into such a state that he can't even watch the judges deliver their anti-criticisms, instead choosing to distract himself with one of the many super fucking dry books on ancient Greece that he's been checking out from the library. (I prefer this phase to the one where he was trying to learn how to speak ancient Greek by repeating back dead vowel sounds from the computer for hours at a time). So my actual boyfriend has the same hole in his heart— if not quite as big, then surely as black, as black as Simon Cowell's late 1980's flattop. And together we will await Simon's return to TV in the fall, when I can't believe I'm going to get involved (and accordingly get Brent involved) in another reality TV singing snow. These things are real commitments, you know? Maybe I'll lay off Jewel's in the meantime. Post from: Crushable Boyfriend of the Week: Simon Cowell |
| Snap This: Jennifer Garner Runs Errands in Sneakers Posted: 18 May 2011 09:05 AM PDT
We can’t tell you how much we appreciate this paparazzi photo of Jennifer Garner out running errands in a pair of casual sneakers. Because every time we see a picture of a celeb juggling a paper bag full of Whole Foods groceries, a venti coffee drink, and an infant all while wearing four-inch heels we’re like, ugh, we’re doing it wrong. But no, we’re not doing it wrong, those celebrities are doing it wrong! Because it is perfectly reasonable to wear sneakers while running errands. Or while running. Or, like, at pretty much any other time devoid of a “black tie” stipulation. Hooray, Jennifer Garner. We hope statues are erected in your honor. (via Just Jared) Post from: Crushable Snap This: Jennifer Garner Runs Errands in Sneakers |
| Dancing with the Stars: Ralph Macchio Says Goodbye as the Final Three Are Named Posted: 18 May 2011 09:00 AM PDT
That leaves Dancing with its final three, and they’re an interesting bunch: Kirstie Alley, Chelsea Kane, and Hines Ward. Kirstie is definitely the weakest dancer of the group, and I really hope that she goes out next week in third place. The two past contestants she reminds me of most are Marie Osmond and Kelly Osbourne, both of whom went out in third – Kirstie has improved and is enjoyable to watch in the rehearsal clips, but she’s not even in the same league as Chelsea and Hines. Getting third would still be a great accomplishment for her, and the fact that she made it to the finals speaks to the fact that she connected with the audience. It would be nice to see her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy finally get a win, but I just don’t think it’s going to happen. Chelsea is a much better technical dancer who is paired with a popular (if somewhat controversial) pro, Mark Ballas, and Hines is a charming audience favorite whose partner Kym Johnson is riding high after suffering an injury last week. I’m favoring Hines to win, for several reasons: 1. Athletes are almost always successful on this show, and football players in particular are popular. 2. The average viewer of Dancing is an older woman, and in the past those viewers have preferred older contestants. Chelsea’s talent got her this far, but Disney tweener stars don’t usually win. 3. Kym is a great choreographer. If she went head to head with Mark, I think she’d win, because Mark likes to rely on cheesy gimmicks even when he has a competent partner. 4. Kym also has a lot of sympathy votes coming in because of her injury last week. 5. Hines and Kym got the first – and so far only – perfect score of the entire season. If that isn’t an endorsement by the judges, I don’t know what is. Next Tuesday will tell if I’m right, but either way it’ll definitely be fun. Freestyle dances are some of the best ones of the season since they give the finalists a chance to show their personalities. Post from: Crushable Dancing with the Stars: Ralph Macchio Says Goodbye as the Final Three Are Named |
| 5 Facts About ’16 and Pregnant’ Star Cleondra Carter Posted: 18 May 2011 07:58 AM PDT
1. Her older sister had a baby at 17. Cleondra is the youngest of four kids. Her older sister had a baby when she was 17, and after awhile decided that she “couldn’t handle” motherhood. Since then, Cleondra and her mom have been raising the girl, whose name is Zyra. You’d think that having firsthand experience of how difficult it is for a teenager to be a mom and how much work goes into taking care of a kid would send Cleondra running into the arms of Planned Parenthood, but apparently not. (There’s an interesting aside where Cleondra’s brother says she’s 16. Thank goodness someone pays attention to this show and tries to say his lines properly.) 2. She almost got an abortion. At first, Cleondra and Mario talked about aborting the baby, but they live in a state that requires either parental permission or a judicial bypass. Despite the fact that Dixie seems totally on board with the abortion idea and would have signed off on it, Cleondra somehow changed her mind. There’s a really cool moment where Cleondra has lunch with two of her friends and she says that Mario blames himself for her pregnancy but she knows they were both responsible. I have to say, I’m really liking Cleondra so far. I wish she hadn’t gotten pregnant, but she’s a lot more honest and realistic than the girls on this show. None of this “condoms are icky” or “I don’t like pills” nonsense. And now I’d like to take a brief interlude to share my favorite quote from the episode: “I don’t see what you really can’t plan about a baby. It’s not like we’re expecting a baby and we’re going to get, like, a little coyote or something.” – Mario 3. She and her boyfriend Mario have been together two years. There are a lot of couples on this show who are together, like, three weeks when the girlfriend gets knocked up. But during this episode Cleondra and Mario celebrate their two year anniversary. To his credit, Mario really seems to be trying to step up and be a good dad. He got a full time job at a tire shop, and he’s fixing up his house so Cleondra and the baby can live there. Also, he cooks! If Cleondra doesn’t want to marry him, I might think about it. 4. Her boyfriend’s mom didn’t want to be called Grandma. Mario’s young-looking mother Maria has Cleondra and Mario over for dinner and announces that she has no intention of being called Grandma, because Grandma is for old ladies. Mario is 19 (this comes up later in the scene at his work) and his mother says that this will be her first grandchild. Leondra thinks Mario’s mom is being ridiculous, especially when Maria suggests three alternate names they can choose from: Nona, Gigi, or Yaya. Okay, I’m sorry, but that is hilarious. Did Maria just choose these names after watching an America’s Next Top Model marathon? She then ups the ante by suggesting “Twilight” as a name for the baby. Is Maria actually delusional or just playing to the camera? Either way, I’ll take it. This scene is a million times more entertaining than a girl cussing out her parents or a boyfriend calling his pregnant girlfriend a fat stretch-marked bitch (hi, Adam Lind!). 5. Her daughter’s name is Kylee Sue. Considering how many dumb names have been on this show, Kylee isn’t bad. (It’s not as dumb as Twilight, that’s for sure.) Cleondra’s mom is “squeamish” and stays out in the hall during the delivery, but Cleondra’s sister and friend stay with her, plus Mario. (“Nona” is nowhere to be found.) MTV clearly likes Cleondra, because she gets sweet, soulful music during her labor scene. After Kylee’s birth, though, Mario and Cleondra argue about where they and the baby should live. Mario seems eager to assert himself by having Cleondra and Kylee live at his house, but Cleondra relies heavily on her family (including her sister, Zyra’s mom, who has materialized from somewhere). At the end of the episode, Cleondra and Mario still aren’t living together. Cleondra says that she still loves him, but that he’s having trouble adjusting to being a new dad. She also admits that one reason for staying home is that she’s bonded with Zyra and doesn’t want to leave her. Even though she and Mario disagree with each other, I really admire the way that they don’t resort to yelling and name-calling and that they seem to fundamentally respect each other. Maybe those two crazy kids will make it. Or maybe I need to detach myself from this situation early before I get my heart broken Corey and Leah style. Post from: Crushable 5 Facts About ’16 and Pregnant’ Star Cleondra Carter |
| Video: Watch a Clip from ‘Super 8′ Posted: 18 May 2011 08:10 AM PDT I was watching TV with a gentleman caller the other day and a Super 8 preview came on, prompting my couch buddy to say, “I’m really excited for this. But I guess it’s a boy movie.” I was irate! Because I’m really excited for Super 8 also, and I am not a boy! So, to prove him wrong, check out this clip from J.J. Abrams‘ sci-fi flick and get excited. Post from: Crushable Video: Watch a Clip from ‘Super 8′ |
| 15 Reality Show Stars Who Got Arrested Posted: 18 May 2011 07:50 AM PDT Being on TV doesn’t make you immune to going to jail. Despite being on reality shows (and sometimes winning a bunch of money), stars like Richard Hatch and Amber Portwood still managed to get arrested – and, in several cases, to do time for everything from domestic violence to drunk driving to tax evasion. Reality stars are just like us – but sometimes with prettier mugshots. Post from: Crushable 15 Reality Show Stars Who Got Arrested |
| Lessons the Disney Princesses Taught Me, Illustrated By Memes and Fan Art Posted: 18 May 2011 07:25 AM PDT The first time I dressed up as a Disney princess I was three. I went trick-or-treating as Jasmine, and not a store bought Jasmine but a craftier one, complete with blue hair-towel turban and blue sports bra (which my mother found and gave to me in middle school; I wore it for a year to have physical proof I was flat chested as a toddler). If you grew up in the 90s, you probably had a Disney princess nightgown, or Halloween costume, or dinner plate. There are Disney princesses in your photo album and goodwill bags and semi-ironic high school T-shirts. Which explains the explosion of Disney Princess art, from the Seven Disney Sins to Disney Fighters. They are an indelible part of our childhoods, and they had a lot more to offer than inspiration for our prom dresses. Post from: Crushable Lessons the Disney Princesses Taught Me, Illustrated By Memes and Fan Art |
On an episode of The Girls Next Door where Hugh Hefner and the girls went to New York, they stopped in at Bridget Marquardt‘s favorite restaurant, Jekyll & Hyde. The restaurant has a Halloween theme, with animatronic skeletons, fake cobwebs, and dim lighting. Plus, as theatre buff/Crushable weekend editor Lucia Peters informs me, actors who work there can get their Equity cards!
Don't worry, you didn't miss a sneak preview episode of The X Factor or a stealthy appearance on American Idol. Simon Cowell is my Boyfriend Of The Week because I miss him Because his absence on the TV has left a hole in my heart that's as black and as true as his sense of humor.
As far as ridiculously unpredictable seasons of Dancing with the Stars go, this one has been pretty predictable. Though Ralph Macchio got off to a great start and had the highest score several weeks running, it’s rare that the person at the top of the leaderboard in week one is the person who ends up winning the show. Ralph was starting to show signs of wear as he worked through an injury, and despite an audience who clearly liked him, he was voted off last night in a very respectable fourth place.
This week, 16 and Pregnant kicks off with an immediate lie: Cleondra is 17. Maybe they could keep changing the title of this show based on the girls’ ages, sort of like how the Duggar Family‘s show 19 Kids and Counting on TLC keeps changing every time they have a new kid? Cleondra has a mom named Dixie and a boyfriend named Mario. And away we go.
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