Cele|bitchy

Reese Witherspoon in red Giambattista Valli: gorgeous or meh?
Linnocent is probably going to plead “no contest” to crack thievery
Rose Byrne in hot pink, with bangs trauma: cute or tragic?
Jon Hamm’s [unmentionable] makes a triumphant red carpet return!
Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins today, no names yet!
Prince William & Catherine’s honeymoon delayed, royal portraits released

Reese Witherspoon in red Giambattista Valli: gorgeous or meh?

Posted: 01 May 2011 07:08 AM PDT

I'm kind of depressed that I didn't get to these photos sooner, just because they are so incredibly cute and pretty. For several days, Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson were in Paris promoting Water for Elephants. They had the Paris premiere on Thursday night, and the photos got lost in the royal wedding mix. There are also photos of Reese and Sparkles out and about (separately) in Paris over the weekend. Reese skipped the Berlin part (Sparkles' shiny brown suit!), and I think Christoph Waltz skipped the Paris part of promotion.

Anyway, the shots of Reese in red are from the Paris premiere. The dress is Giambattista Valli - I love her in red. So cute. Sparkles looked really nice at the premiere too, although he could have shaved. His "I haven't shaved in approximately 40 hours" beard looks very contrived. Still, it's tough to decide which one is prettier.

They both looked great in candids, out and about in Paris. I LOVE Reese's shoes here:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Linnocent is probably going to plead “no contest” to crack thievery

Posted: 01 May 2011 06:26 AM PDT

Oh, Linnocent. You know it was just killing her that for a 48-hour window, she was not one of the top three celebrity stories. So immediately after the royal wedding, our little crackhead made sure to leak to TMZ that she was probably going to be pleading "no contest" to the now misdemeanor crack thievery charges. Linnocent even did a few extra lines of coke and claimed that she was NOW ready to "accept responsibility."

Lindsay Lohan will plead no contest to the misdemeanor theft charge she faces over that pesky necklace … sources connected with the case tell TMZ.

We’re told Lindsay is committed to what she told Jay Leno this week — that she wants to accept responsibility and move on with her life.

So Lindsay and her lawyer, Shawn Holley, will go back to Judge Stephanie Sautner as early as next week to enter the plea.

Lindsay has already been sentenced to 120 days in jail for the probation violation, along with 480 hours of community service. Sources tell us Lindsay and her lawyer are banking on Judge Sautner not adding additional time on the theft charge. In other words, when Lindsay serves her 120-day sentence, that would be the end of it. And sources familiar with the case say that would be a routine disposition.

L.A. County Sheriff’s spokesperson Steve Whitmore tells TMZ his rough calculation is that Lindsay would serve three weeks, although there are variables to that.

We’re also told the L.A. County District Attorney is inclined to give the case to the L.A. City Attorney, since the D.A. typically prosecutes felonies and the case is now a misdemeanor. But now that Lindsay will plead no contest, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for the D.A. to kick the case to the City Attorney.

Holley could not be reached for comment.

[From TMZ]

Always on the hustle, always angling for something. It's less about "accepting responsibility" and more about trying to hustle her way out of more jail time and more community service. After all, this is the crackhead who went on the "I'm so linnocent" PR offensive right after she was sentenced, including her delusional, cracked-out appearance on the Tonight Show (where she got a standing ovation).

Sigh… there's something about this crackhead's stupid, asinine crack drama that makes me miss the royal wedding. That being said, I find myself slightly disappointed that The Crack Trial of the Century isn’t going to happen.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Rose Byrne in hot pink, with bangs trauma: cute or tragic?

Posted: 01 May 2011 05:57 AM PDT

I've liked Rose Byrne for a while now - I was a big fan of the first seasons of Damages, and I think Rose is so awesome for showing off her (incredible) comedic chops in stuff like Get Him to the Greek, and the soon-to-be-released Bridesmaids. She could have just stuck with dramatic roles, you know? But she's showing everybody that she doesn't have to choose. So for that, I love her. I also kind of love this hot pink mess of a dress. It's by Prabal Gurung, and very few women could pull it off. Rose can! Now, what I don't love: the new bangs trauma. Why in God's name did she do this herself? She looked beautiful without the bangs trauma, as this handy photo of Rose standing in front of the bangs-trauma-less Bridesmaids poster can attest:

I know some bangs (trauma) lovers will yell at me and say she looks fine. But if you're going to do bangs trauma, do they really have to be so friggin' long? These are too long, too thick, and the little "extra" pieces (traumatic additions) are just bad.

Here are pics of Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph at the same premiere. Maya looks so cute! I had totally forgotten that she was pregnant. This is her… ~~second?~~ THIRD… with writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson…? Probably. And Kristin looks cute too, although the dress and the styling kind of falls short. She could have looked a lot better - she has the raw material, she just needs some help putting it all together.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Jon Hamm’s [unmentionable] makes a triumphant red carpet return!

Posted: 01 May 2011 05:38 AM PDT

He thinks he's so clever. Someone must have told him that there's a growing contigent of lustful ladies (and gentlemen) who scour the internet for photos of his (commando?) dong. He knows that there are already too many photos of The Hamm Dong, bulging beautifully in various tight pants and peeking out in loose trousers. So The Hamm is trying to adjust himself. He's starting to wear his wallet in his front pants pocket, so there will be another bulge to focus on. Unfortunately for The Hamm Dong, we can still see The Original Bulge. Praise it! Let me bow down my head in worship.

So… yes, these are photos of Jon Hamm at the Thursday premiere of Bridesmaids. I'd like to know what moron studio publicist thought it was a genius idea to do a premiere the night before the royal wedding. These photos could have easily been lost or ignored, and it's not even like the film is coming out right away - we have another two weeks! Idiot publicists. Think of a world where Hamm Dong photos are not published immediately for our collective viewing pleasure!!

Anyway, The Hamm (and his "friend") were at the premiere, because The Hamm plays Kristin Wiig's character's sketchball, mean, rude boyfriend, I think. Some of you think that Kristen Wiig just wrote the movie because she wanted to make out with The Hamm. Hey, there are totally worse reasons to write a script.

This is the face he made when he found out his Mad Men costar January Jones is pregnant:

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins today, no names yet!

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 12:04 PM PDT

Yay! Mariah Carey gave birth to her twins just a few short hours ago. Guess what today is? Mariah and Nick’s anniversary! Only Mariah’s uterus would have it planned this way. Now Nick and Mariah get to celebrate their love all over the place on April 30! Aw, I’m really, really happy for Mariah and Nick and the babies. I love the way Mariah handled her pregnancy publicly, although I know not everybody enjoyed her TMI. I thought it was wonderful - she wanted us to celebrate. So, YAY!

April 30 is double the pleasure for Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Not only did they welcome twins, but the couple celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary, too!

Carey, 41, delivered the babies Saturday at 12:07 p.m. EDT at an undisclosed hospital in Los Angeles. Carey’s representative, Cindi Berger, confirmed the births to The Associated Press, saying the baby girl was born first, weighing 5 pounds, 3 ounces, and was 18 inches long; her brother was next, at 5 pounds 6 ounces, and was 19 inches.

And it was just as Cannon predicted. “I’m not trying to be a psychic, but we renew our vows every year so … It’s probably going to be in the hospital this year. I can feel it,” Cannon said Thursday when he guest-hosted The Talk. “We got the minister coming in, so this gown will not be a wedding gown, but a hospital gown.”

Berger says they were listening to Carey’s “We Belong Together” after the children were born.

Long before the births, the couple made no secret of their desire to have children. Last October when they first made Carey’s pregnancy public, Cannon said that “the greatest gift on earth is a child.”

Throughout Carey’s pregnancy, the parents-to-be were cautious about revealing too many personal details since the couple had a “long journey” to parenthood, Cannon said in December.

That the singer was expecting twins was chattered about for months before Cannon finally confirmed it in December.

As for the origin of their babies’ names, Cannon told PEOPLE in January that the couple had aimed for unique but not wacky. “They won’t be crazy names like Carburetor or something,” he promised. “But they’re definitely unique.”

[From People]

Well, congratulations to them, and I can’t wait to hear the names. You know that Mariah’s idea of a “not wacky” name is totally different than our idea. Fingers crossed for some variation of Sparklepony, Blueberry, Princess Glitter, Nickalicious, Butterfly Sequin and/or various gemstones. Ruby, Sapphire (for a boy), Diamond, Aquamarine, Emerald, Garnet, whatever. Congrats, MIMI!!

Photos courtesy of Life & Style and OK! Magazine UK.

Prince William & Catherine’s honeymoon delayed, royal portraits released

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 11:50 AM PDT

Haha, it's just funny at this point. Just when I think "Oh, now THAT is the end of the royal wedding coverage," something else happens. These are the newly-released OFFICIAL wedding portraits. There are three (that I know of): one of just William and Kate, one of William, Kate and the children who served as bridesmaids and groomsmen/footmen (or whatever), and one with the whole "wedding party." The whole wedding party one is the one that I find odd - Prince Harry is placed in close proximity to his brother, while Kate's sister Pippa is pretty much pushed to the side.

And no, I'm not going to say absolutely anything about the children. Why would you think I would say anything? This? Or this? Yeah, I've already said enough. But check out the little blonde boy behind Kate in this portrait:

Little pimp! He's all "I could have any one of these bitches." A little Prince Harry in the making, right? Let me see if I can find out who he is…he's Master Tom Pettifer, the son of Tiggy Legge-Bourke, who was William and Harry's nanny/friend. Interesting side note about Tiggy: Prince Charles hired her during the divorce to Diana, and Diana was PISSED about the hire. Diana thought that Charles had no business hiring a nanny for the boys, considering William was entering his teen years, and Harry… well, God knows. The boys loved their Tiggy, though, and that just upset Diana even more. Diana thought Charles and Tiggy were lovers too - and she said so, to Tiggy's face. Sigh… there never will be another one like Diana. She really knew how to bring the dramz.

In other royal news (just let me knock this all out at once):

*Prince Harry's Best Man toast was "brilliant" according to sources. Apparently, he kept it nice rather than "Hey, dude, remember that time we were boning those hookers…last year?"

*You can see some photos of William and Catherine (must remember to start using "Catherine" by the way) the day after their wedding (today) here. She's wearing a cute blue dress, a black jacket and the same pre-wedding wedge heels that she was wearing the day before. William isn't wearing a tie and he looks naked! To me at least.

*The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delaying their honeymoon! Boo! They are currently in the midst of a special "private weekend" in the UK (somewhere), and then William is going back to work (as a search and rescue pilot) this coming week. Here's the statement from the palace spokesperson: “The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have chosen not to depart for a honeymoon immediately. Instead, after spending the weekend privately in the United Kingdom, The Duke will return to work as a Search and Rescue pilot next week. The locations of both their private weekend before The Duke returns to work and their future honeymoon, which will be overseas, will not be disclosed in advance. The Couple have asked that their privacy be respected during the coming weekend and during their honeymoon." It's weird, right? I mean, I'll understand if it's the kind of thing where William was needed and it was all unexpected, but it also sounds very unromantic. Isn't the honeymoon the best part of all of this wedding stuff? The honeymoon and the cake. And the biscuits, of course. But I guess William has been getting the same biscuits for nine years, and the biscuit in a different location really isn't all that exciting?

Some additional wedding-day photos that recently came in:

Royal portraits courtesy of Fame.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

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