Sunday, May 1, 2011

Crushable

Crushable


10 Movie Catchphrases That Aren't Cliché Yet

Posted: 01 May 2011 11:15 AM PDT

Earlier this week, our pals over at College Candy posted a list of their top 10 most cliché movie catchphrases. Although these lines are all terrific pieces of writing as well as important moments in cinema history, College Candy is right: By now, they’ve been used so often they’re getting a little tired. So why not lay them down for a nap and break out a couple of these instead? Here are our top 10 movie catchphrases that haven’t yet fallen victim to the horrors of cliché:

10) “SHUT UP, CRIME!” (Super)
I finally saw Super last weekend, and it actually surprised me quite a bit. And though I’m glad I saw it, I’m not really sure I’ll ever feel the need to see it again… but that said, the image of Rainn Wilson yelling “SHUT UP, CRIME!” in the face of– well, crime– is priceless. More people need to yell this specifically for this reason.

9) “Do you want me to order a pizza?… I already ordered a pizza.” (The Room)
The Room is a veritable treasure trove of ridiculous one-liners, among them “CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!”, “Oh hai Mark!”, and of course “YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!” Most of these, however, are already well on their way to becoming cliché. Lisa’s classic line about the pizza, though? Still in the running. It’s the tone in which she says it. I’ve never heard anyone make pizza sound quite so profound.

8) “You’ve got red on you.” (Shaun of the Dead)
Usable in instances of paint, ink, blood…

7) “Yes. This entire murder has been… catered.” (Murder By Death)
I’ve got a murder to plan! I can’t be thinking about the menu, too!
(P.S. If you haven’t seen Murder By Death, you really, really need to. It’s on Netflix Instant. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

6) “Build a man a fire– he’s warm for a day. LIGHT a man on fire– he’s warm for the rest of his life.” (The Lost Boys: The Tribe)
The Lost Boys is definitely one of my guilty pleasure movies. What can I say? I was a child of the 80′s. Incredibly, this silly 80′s vampire movie (side note: Has anyone else ever noticed how much of the 80′s Keifer Sutherland spent beating the shit out of Corey Feldman?) has managed to spawn not one, but two direct-to-video sequels over the last two or three years. And before you ask: Yes, they’re terrible. But they’re also of the “so bad, they’re good” variety, and this little gem is one of favorite things I have ever heard come out of Corey Feldman’s mouth. Ever.

5) “No ticket.” (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
This one is applicable in more situations than you might think.

4) “This isn’t flying! This is falling with style!” (Toy Story)
And here’s one for the klutzes of the world, a group of which I am a proud card-carrying member.

3) “It… flames. FLAMES… on the SIDE of my face… BREATHing… HEAVING breaths…” (Clue)
There are two types of people in the world: Those who have seen the movie based on the board game Clue, and those who have not. There definitely need to be more of the first type so that quoting this Mrs. White line is greeted with shared laughter, rather than blank stares.

2) “Love me… fear me… obey me… that’s ALL I ask…” (Labyrinth)
Coming out of David Bowie’s mouth, this request sounds remarkably reasonable. Though it should be noted that this one only narrowly beat out “I move the stars for no one.

1) “It’s plot exposition. It has to go somewhere.” (The Great Muppet Caper)
Diana Rigg is right. It does most certainly have to go somewhere, so it may as well go here.

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10 Movie Catchphrases That Aren't Cliché Yet

Poll: What Should Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Name Their Newborns?

Posted: 01 May 2011 09:40 AM PDT

Mazel tov to Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, whose twins were born yesterday. The babies, a girl and a boy, were coincidentally born on mom and dad’s fourth wedding anniversary. However, the couple has not yet announced the kids’ names. We have a few suggestions.

 

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Poll: What Should Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Name Their Newborns?

Snap This: 'Harry Potter' In Comic Form

Posted: 01 May 2011 09:40 AM PDT

Don’t have time to reread all the Harry Potter books before the last movie comes out? Take a look at these handy comics instead! Artist Lucy Knisley has condensed each book down to a one-page comic, making for some easy catch-up in preparation for the release of Deathly Hallows Part 2. Say it with me now: Expecto patronum!

[Via Buzzfeed]

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Snap This: 'Harry Potter' In Comic Form

13 Fictional Supercomputers That Will Kill You Dead

Posted: 01 May 2011 09:08 AM PDT

Isn’t the age of technology great? Texting! Internet! Captioned pictures of cats doing funny things! Yeah, technology is great… until it tries to kill you. Watch out for these 13 supercomputers. They’ll get you if you’re not careful.

  • Agent Smith, The Matrix
  • The Master Control Program, Tron
  • SARAH, Eureka
  • Mr. Smith, The Sarah Jane Adventures
  • Skynet, The Terminator
  • Queeg, Red Dwarf
  • GLaDOS, Portal
  • Hexadecimal and Megabyte, Reboot
  • The General, The Prisoner
  • WOPR, War Games
  • The Robots of Westworld
  • SHODAN, System Shock
  • HAL 9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey

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13 Fictional Supercomputers That Will Kill You Dead

Snap This: Princess Beatrice's Royal Wedding Hat In Cupcake Form

Posted: 01 May 2011 07:35 AM PDT

Congratulations to Princess Beatrice for winning the “best crazy hat” contest at the royal wedding. Her prize is this delicious-looking cupcake inspired by said hat.

[Via Cupcakes Take the Cake]

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Snap This: Princess Beatrice's Royal Wedding Hat In Cupcake Form

Sunday Cute: Kitten Attempts To Catch Mouse (Of The Computer Variety)

Posted: 01 May 2011 07:10 AM PDT

It’s no secret that cats dig laser pointers; but did you know that they’re also really into computer screen cursors? Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you this week’s Sunday Cute: A kitten attempting to catch a cursor. Enjoy!

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Sunday Cute: Kitten Attempts To Catch Mouse (Of The Computer Variety)

Video: Prince Charles Breakdancing in the '80s

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 02:35 PM PDT

Little did Kate Middleton know when she said “I do” that she would be marrying into a family of such phenomenal dancers. And by “phenomenal,” I mean oh so wonderfully awkward. I think it’s Prince Charles’ ears that do it (it usually is). I wonder if Wills and Harry are aware of this little piece of their father’s past? I mean, everyone’s allowed to have a few skeletons stashed in some well-hidden closets, but this is one truly spectacular surprise.

[Via Jezebel]

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Video: Prince Charles Breakdancing in the '80s

LeAnn Rimes Is Really, Really Happy About Being Married

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 07:28 PM PDT

Singer LeAnn Rimes and actor Eddie Cibrian got married last weekend, ending countless rounds of will-they-or-won’t-they tabloid speculation that started when the actors cheated on their respective spouses (Dean Sheremet and Brandi Glanville) with each other. Now that they’re married, LeAnn has already changed her name on Twitter to “LeAnn Rimes Cibrian,” and she’s not missing any opportunities to gloat about her love.

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LeAnn Rimes Is Really, Really Happy About Being Married

Why You Need to Stop Wanting Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton to Get Together

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 12:56 PM PDT

As the best man and maid of honor during yesterday’s royal wedding, Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton looked on proudly as their siblings got married. But before the ceremony was even over, people were starting to talk about what a cute couple Pippa and Harry would make. Within 24 hours, more than 30,000 people had “liked” a Facebook page that said Pippa and Harry should hook up. As HowAboutWe.com pointed out, “Was it our imaginations, desperate to pick up on some new royal gossip now that the wedding is over, or was there some actual…chemistry, as the two walked down the aisle after the ceremony and stood together on the balcony?”

Speculating about a Pippa/Harry love match is almost like writing fanfiction, but about real people. And why I think it’s totally fine to ‘ship, say, Rachel and Puck on Glee, it’s too much to start thinking the lives of actual people are your own personal soap opera. Pippa and Harry shouldn’t hook up, and there are a lot of good reasons why.

  • They’re sort of related. No, they’re not siblings, just in-laws. But the idea of a pair of sisters marrying a pair of brothers kind of squicks me out a little bit. It reminds of me of some 18th and 19th century weddings that were done to consolidate family wealth or titles. Considering how hard the British monarchy has worked to modernize themselves, a second Wales/Middleton wedding would feel archaic.
  • They’re in relationships with other people. Harry has been on-and-off with Chelsy Davy for years, and she was his date to the royal wedding. Pippa is reportedly dating former cricket star Alex Loudon. While it may seem funny and cute to speculate about how hot it would be if Harry and Pippa got it on, I doubt either of their respective partners are amused. I sure wouldn’t be.
  • Just because two people look pretty standing next to each other doesn’t mean they get along. I’m not saying that Harry and Pippa hate each other – if anything, most reports have them getting along quite well. But I suspect that most of the Harry/Pippa frenzy just started because they looked nice standing next to each other at the wedding. Just because two people are good looking doesn’t necessarily mean they have anything in common. The people who want Harry and Pippa to hook up aren’t basing it on the individuals’ respective interests and personalities, they’re basing their decision on looks. Frankly, I care more about finding a partner I’m compatible with than I do about finding a person whose hair complements mine.
  • If they did get together, they’d always be second best. As younger siblings, both Pippa and Harry have had to deal with the media comparing them to their brother and sister – and not always favorably. If they married each other, they would always be Will and Kate Junior, and that would be unfair. Let them both go on and live their lives the way they want without spending even more time being compared to their older siblings.

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Why You Need to Stop Wanting Prince Harry and Pippa Middleton to Get Together

Nerd News: 'Ender's Game' Movie May Actually Be Happening (Finally)

Posted: 30 Apr 2011 11:58 AM PDT

Orson Scott Card’s classic sci-fi novel Ender’s Game has languished for years in cinema development hell, but this week, news broke that Summit Entertainment had acquired the rights to it and was finally starting the ball rolling on a live-action feature film adaption. The novel will be adapted by Gavin Hood, who brought us X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and Card himself will be one of the film’s producers.

It’s interesting to me that after all these years, now is the time that it’s finally starting to get off the ground, mostly because I can’t help but wonder if The Hunger Games has something to do with it. Ender’s Game isn’t strictly a YA novel, but like The Hunger Games, it features kids and teenagers thrown into situations that kids and teenagers should never have to live through. However, the big difference here is what “kids and teenagers” means. In The Hunger Games, the main characters are sixteen and seventeen and the younger ones are no younger than twelve. In Ender’s Game, however, when I say kids, I mean kids: It’s been a while since I’ve read it, but I recall Ender being roughly six. There’s a big difference between six and twelve. This, then, begs the question of whether or not to age them up for the movie. The Mary Sue points out that with Card on board as a producer, he’ll likely stick to his guns on keeping the kids the ages that they are, but logistically speaking, that’s going to be a NIGHTMARE when it comes to actually making the film. Remember that old W. C. Fields saying about never working with children or animals? There’s a reason for that. Beyond the trials and tribulations of wrangling that many small children on set, bear in mind that they all have to be able to, um, act too. And let’s face it: It’s rare to find kids that young who can handle this sort of material.

I understand not wanting to age characters up. I do. It’s important for the impact of the story that they be the ages that they are. But I’m a firm believer that when you adapt a story from one medium to another– in this case, from novel to film– you do have to ADAPT. Make the changes you have to, as long as the choices are always made in the name of suiting the story to the new medium. Take A Game of Thrones, for instance: In the novels, Robb Stark is about fifteen, Bran Stark is seven, Daenerys Targaryen is fourteen… the list goes on. In HBO’s series, however, Robb looks to be in his late teens or early twenties, Bran is now ten, Daenerys is in her late teens or early twenties, and so on down the line. And you know what? I don’t have a problem with it. I’m a die-hard fan of the books, but the fact that everyone’s a little older isn’t bothering me at all. The story still plays.

Card is a notorious eccentric and control freak, so it’s entirely possible– likely, even– that Ender and the gang will remain the ages that they are in his novel. It’s also entirely possible that if they DO stay so young, it will inadvertently sabotage the film. And it’s also entirely possible that I will eat my words: Either they’ll get the okay to age the kids up, or they’ll keep them the ages that they are and it’ll work just fine, or whatever. In any event, I’ll be interested to see what happens as this moves forward.

What do you think, Gentle Readers? How do you predict it will play out?

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Nerd News: 'Ender's Game' Movie May Actually Be Happening (Finally)

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