Thursday, September 2, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

1990s “Rap Against Rape” Still Holds Up

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 08:27 AM PDT

Back in the early 1990s, Ireland was at the very forefront of white people rapping against rape. Take this soon to be classic, “Rap Against Rape,” as an example. It has everything you’d ever want in a rape rap: Irish people, back-up dancers, and an amazing hook singer. This is by far more effective than my former favorite anti-rape rap, “Things That Make You Go Rape.”

Best Week Ever Inspires Successful Cami-Secret Parody Video, World Smiles

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 07:58 AM PDT

Remember Noah Garfinkel’s post about the Cami-Secret ? Of course you do because he is your PRINCE. The PRINCE of your FAVORITE blog. Whereas I am but a scullery maid, waiting in the ashes, just hoping for a glimpse from Noah. Anyhoops. I met one Nick Stevens, comedian, last night when he kindly tossed me a few matches so I wouldn’t freeze on the stoop I was huddled against. He then somehow recognized my coal-smudged face as someone who writes for Best Week Ever. And he said, “I saw your Cami-Secret post on Best Week Ever and it inspired me to make a parody video and suddenly it was very popular!” And he took me in from the cold and fed me six hot cross buns.* I did not tell him that it was Noah who deserved his thanks and the buns, but I was so very hungry.

Now, normally I wouldn’t deign to show you something with over a gagillion hits because I have more respect for your Internet ways, but since this success was inspired by Noah’s obsession with boobs, I feel it only appropriate to show this parody video. That, and it’s really f*cking funny. (Language NSFW)

So, hooray, Nick! Congrats on your viral success and I hope that we (Noah) continue to inspire you in similar ways. I’m sure I’ve inspired someone to solve global warming, I just haven’t heard from them yet.

*This has quickly become how I remember The Little Princess

Between Two Ferns: Sean Penn Sits Down With Seth Galifianakis

Posted: 01 Sep 2010 04:31 PM PDT

Whenever I’m worried that I’m stuck in a dream about an eternally joyless internet, “Between Two Ferns” is the pinch that lets me know I’m awake and alive.

This week’s episode with Sean Penn and Zach Galifianakis’ southern, mustachioed ‘brother’ may be the best one yet. Behold, the editorial commentary I get paid to do: I love this video.

TOP CHEF RECAP: To InFOODity And Beyond!

Posted: 01 Sep 2010 10:40 PM PDT

This is a Recap of Top Chef D.C. (Season 7), Episode 12, entitled "Gastro-Nauts", originally airing September 1, 2010. I was out of this world galaxy space moon asteroid quasar surprised by the outcome of this week’s episode.

It’s the last episode before the Finale, so it’s time to ditch the painful food puns and gimmicky challenges and get to some real cooking…

…Or maybe it’s time to the most do those things.

Before we get to the supergimmick, it’s Quickfire time, and this week the chefs welcome Dana Corwin of Food & Wine magazine by saying how much attention they pay to wine. Wine is one of Angelo’s biggest passions, obviously, because he’s kind of a D-bag. This is also the final high-stakes Quickfire, and the winner gets to go to London for 6 days courtesy of the London Hilton. Angelo wins the wine challenge, obviously, because he’s kind of a D-bag.

Padma then announces that the Finale will be in Singapore. Padma also implicitly announces that she hasn’t done laundry in a while:

After the jump, the Final Five becomes a Final Four. It still alliterates, but it’s one digit closer to not alliterating…

For the final pre-Finale Elimination Challenge, the chefs will go to NASA — the food capital of the galaxy — and cook for a bunch of astronauts, and whoever’s dish would make the best freeze-dried meal will be the winner and have their dish freeze-dried and sold in science center gift shops nationwide. Stupidly, none of the chefs decide to cook a plasma globe.

The chefs are introduced to Vicki Kloeris, NASA’s head fooAAHHHHHH!!!

Why is she lit like that?? Did Bravo cut her evil monologue where she explains her deathlaser?

No time for fear, cause the celebs just keep on coming. Behold, NASA’s very own TJ Creamer and Tracy Caldwell-Dyson:

“We walk in and Tracy Caldwell-Dyson is standing there, and I’m like, OH MY GOD. She does NOT mince words when it comes to seafood. This could be a big moment for my cooking career.”

The chefs shop and cook, Tiffany’s mussels freeze because GE’s appliance is just too damn good, and Kevin talks about not giving up and mentions “We recently took my mom of life support but she kept fighting” (OPINION: Top Chef is less of a big deal than that). The chefs then get a glimpse of their prize: A Toyota Avalon. They all hop in and Angelo gives them a ride to the kitchen while blasting an Asian-influenced miso emulsion on the radio.

This week’s guest judges? Anthony Bourdain — he travels places, like astronauts — and none other than the second man on the moon (and the first man on the Cameo Moon), Buzz Aldrin:

Tom asks Buzz what it was like to walk on the moon. Buzz says “Magnificent.” Tom then asks Paul McCartney what it was like to be in The Beatles. He says “Great.”

The chefs’ dishes are all turning out well, but Angelo — knowing what astronauts love — has a secret ingredient up his sleeve:

Not only has Angelo braised his shortrib with pot, he also tells the judges he “Made love to them.” Sure enough, Angelo ends up being this week’s Quickfire-Elimination double-winner, and judging by the way he caresses the Toyota keys, those shortribs aren’t the only object Angelo made love to that night…

The other four chefs’ dishes are all roundly complimented by the judges, including Bourdain; when Ed unveiled his “Trip to Morocco” dish, I joked in a Bourdain voice “I’ve been to Morocco, so I know this is garbage,” and literally one second later, Bourdain exclaimed “I’ve been to Morocco, and I think Ed nailed it.” Whaa? The chefs are all really, really good all the sudden. Weren’t Ed and Kevin both just totally average, wait-to-be-eliminated dudes in the first few weeks? Well, now they’re apparently awesome, and this field is wide open.

Still, surely they have to come up with some excuse to eliminate Kevin or Ed, right? Not right! Tiffany is eliminated in one of the harshest rounds in Top Chef history — like winning 88 games in the AL East and still finishing 4th (anyone?) — thus totally puncturing my uber-confident Finale prediction. I would’ve bet everything I had on Tiffany from about three weeks ago on, but fortunately, Vegas would’ve been like “Stop trying to bet on this but we appreciate your commitment to Tiffany.” Now, she’s gone. She and I feel about the same way:

So there you have it – your “Out Of This World,” “Reach For The Stars,” “Remember When The Show Was Like Congress And Stuff” Final Four will be Angelo, Kelly, Ed, and in a surprising twist, Kevin:

If I had to pick, I’d probably predict Kelly at this point, unless Angelo can buck the trend of the “suspiciously good from the get-go” guys losing in the finale, but for the second straight season, the Top Chef Finals are looking wide open. My only confident prediction: I’ll make a bunch of lame caning jokes next week.

Tiffany Elimination thoughts? Finale Predictions? Reactions to some actual Top Chef unpredictability? Leave ‘em all in the TITLE OF THIS POST! No, the comments. Was just trying to be unpredictable.

Unusual Tiger Mom Asks “Can’t We All Just Get Along?”

Posted: 01 Sep 2010 03:52 PM PDT

On a day when innocent people were taken hostage, and President Obama sat with leaders to bring peace to the Middle East, and people who are not Santa are being found in chimneys, we bring you this:

ORANGUTAN TIGER MOM!!! No story here, other than that the above animals are BEST FRIENDS 4VR in real life, and that we want to claw our eyes out because we will probably never know half the happiness these animals have found with each other.

Did this post get too dark? Probably! So click ahead for another ORANGUTAN TIGER MOM PALATE CLEANSER!!
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