Cele|bitchy |
- Hot Guy Friday: Slap it up, flip it, rub it down, oh no!
- Raccoon McPantless won’t engage with Tim Gunn’s “pathetic brat” criticisms
- Katherine Heigl returns to blonde: weird shade or totally cute?
- Beth Ditto: Skinny is not necessarily healthy, fat is not necessarily unhealthy
- Tom Hardy is engaged, totally off the market for men and women (sob)
- Eddie Fisher, ex-husband to Debbie Reynolds & Liz Taylor, dies at age 82
- Are Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy back together?
- Cameron Crowe & Nancy Wilson divorcing after 20 years
- Levi Johnston’s sister: Bristol Palin had breast reduction & liposuction
- Demi Moore & Ashton make their first public outing post-cheating allegations
| Hot Guy Friday: Slap it up, flip it, rub it down, oh no! Posted: 24 Sep 2010 08:32 AM PDT My headliner hot guy this week is one we've been steadily getting to know over the past few weeks. He is my once and future husband, British model David Gandy. Those eyes, those lips, those arms, those legs, those hands, that chest… JESUS. This man could make me lose my religion. I have been having impure thoughts about him for weeks now. His beauty is perfect, and yet there is a rawness to him. I could go on and on… but really, why would I? I could honestly do an all-Gandy HGF, honestly. My vagina and I had a talk, and we agreed that we need more Gandy in our life. Here he is out and about this week in London. I mean… that’s how he looks when he’s out on the street, just walking around. If he walked by you, would you faint? Would you throw your panties at him? Would you just throw yourself at him physically, begging him to touch you? Cough. Yeah. I know what I would do too. Here are some of his modeling pics. Oh dear GOD. A little Viggo Mortensen. Because he's a classic. Because he does nude scenes. Because he does nude fight scenes. And because he's beautiful. Forever and always. Since we’re doing the classics first, how about some vintage James Bond? I love old Connery films, especially the Bond ones where we seemed to think every bird needed a good spanking. Plus, he’s hairy, and every character he ever played had a Scottish accent, even when he was playing an Irish cop in Chicago. Take note, Gerard Butler. Love it. Another classic? Johnny Depp. As I've mentioned before, I don't really get hot for Depp. My love for him is asexual. I just want to admire his beauty. The one of Johnny on the stove (Burning loins? Hot ass?) is a famous Herb Ritts photo. Someone requested the French actor Tahar Rahim. Thank you for that. This guy is beautiful and intense. Part of my soul died when there were multiple requests for Zachary Levi. Are you bitches for real? You’re going to sack up and call me out for not including Zachary Levi?!? Go back up and look at David Gandy. Now look at Levi. Are you f-cking joking?!? Shemar Moore = Total cheeseball. Does he have a good body? Of course. But he can have a good body, and still be a cheeseball. What was up with all of the Mike Rowe requests? Yes, he's sexy and his voice is awesome, but really? A lot of you requests Takeshi Kaneshiro, and I didn't know who he was. Now that I've looked him up, I have a question: is he the Asian Robert Pattinson? Because he seems very much like that. It's all about big hair and intense looks and… yes, I'm buying. I like Sparkles, and now I like Asian Sparkles. This request - hand to God - comes from CB's mom! That will be our new tag line: "Hot Guy Friday… bringing mothers and daughters together to fantasize about hot dudes licking their toes and spanking them for one month and running." CB's mom sent us a monster list of suggestions of all of her favorite television dudes. I won't be able to tackle all of them in one post, so I'm just going to get to some of her list. CB's mom loves Charlie Day! I'm more of a Rob McElhenney fan (he has puppy dog eyes and he was on Lost!), so I'll do them both! A lot of you girls have requested the late Heath Ledger. I think it's too much, too soon to include him, but I will give you Heath this one time. I just think looking at how beautiful he was… it's just sad. Such a sad loss. HGF should be about happiness and hotness. But still… Heath was so pretty. Someone requested Carlos Ponce. Why and who. Eh. Dennis Oh, by request. I will literally put up photos of any hot guy with a cowboy hat. Honestly, I prefer the older David Bowie as far as hotness goes. But I had a friend who was absolutely obsessed with all things Bowie, so I’m not going to judge you bitches. Some vintage, some older Bowie. Allocated for the Bowie freaks. Colin Firth! I hope he wins Best Actor this year. Fingers crossed. Adam Beach, by request. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a cutie, and I wish he would come back to Law & Order: SVU. But he’s not HGF cute. Jason Momao is hittin’ it with Lisa Bonet. She’s a lucky bitch. Jesus. He’s gorgeous. He’s like something out of my college fantasies. Another beefcake hottie, Joe Manganiello. Two questions: I can see his dimples through his beard, so why do a beard? You have gorgeous, deep dimples. Let me see them! Second questions: why the low-cut blouse again? Oh, right. because he’s a beefcake. Another beefcake meathead, but one that I love. Bobby Cannavale! He’s actually a decent actor, but he specializes in meatheads, and he plays them perfectly. Vintage and current Richard Gere. Mmm… gerbils. I actually prefer him with silver hair! There are a million new photos of my lover Vincent Cassell now, because he just did two film festivals. So excuse my drool, but I’m going to go over him lovingly. I just saw the ads for the new Law & Order: Los Angeles, and the triumphant return of Skeet Ulrich has happened! He’s playing a cop on the new show. YAY! He’s very cute when he’s clean. Ralph Fiennes’ beautiful eyes are speaking to me. They’re saying, “Let me tie you up. You know you’ll enjoy it.” I would too. Someone requested vintage Mickey Rourke. I have a difficult time cosigning, because I had my first (solo) sexual experiences to a young Rourke. I mean, 9 1/2 Weeks and Wild Orchid are soft-porn classics. And he really was so f-cking gorgeous. Pity he mangled his beauty. Oh, and just ignore Kim Basinger in there. Or maybe you like that. No judgment! The Rock! A lot of you are fans. I like big guys too, and he seems like a nice one. James McAvoy hotness. Honestly, I forget if I did him last week. Did I? Oh well. I’m doing him again (and again and again). A little Hugh Jackman, for the purists! Jon Hamm went out last night with a five o’clock shadow. More than five o’clock, actually. I like him clean-shaven, but the scruff isn’t bad. What am I saying? I’d still ride him like cowgirl. And finally, my lover Clive. This man could give me an orgasm just by looking at me. You are welcome. Photos courtesy of WENN, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images and David Gandy’s fansite.      |
| Raccoon McPantless won’t engage with Tim Gunn’s “pathetic brat” criticisms Posted: 24 Sep 2010 08:30 AM PDT A few weeks ago, Tim Gunn began his epic publicity tour to promote his book, I Can't Even With These Bitches (I wish). Throughout the tour, Tim spent A LOT of time dishing and bitching and calling out bitches left and right - mostly, he called out fashion people, but he also had some words for a few celebrities. One of those celebrities was Taylor Momsen. Tim not only had some thoughts about our beloved Raccoon McPantless's style, but he had also met her and worked with her while doing a cameo on Gossip Girl. His thoughts on McPantless were not lovely - he called her "pathetic" for not being professional on set, and claimed that Our Raccoon was a "diva" and a "brat". When asked about Tim Gunn's comments, Taylor shockingly didn't light a cigarette and call Tim Gunn named. She was almost… mature about it:
[From OK! Magazine] Hm… whose side to be on? Well, I mean, I'm still Team Gunn forever and always, and I do think his criticism of Momsen was probably right on target - after all, this was behavior that he witnessed first-hand. But I will give Taylor some credit for not engaging and not turning this into some kind of epic grudge match. That shows surprising maturity. Well played, Raccoon McPantless.    |
| Katherine Heigl returns to blonde: weird shade or totally cute? Posted: 24 Sep 2010 07:41 AM PDT Katherine Heigl is back to blonde after going for a really hideous shade of brunette to play Stephanie Plum (don't even get me started on THAT). I guess the Stephanie Plum film shoot is over? Because Dame Heigl went back to blonde for an appearance yesterday on behalf of her charity, the Jason Debus Heigl Foundation, named for her late brother. Dame Heigl actually does great work for animals through the foundation, and you know her heart is in it, so I'm not slamming her for that at all. By the way, this appearance was to announce the foundation's donation of $1 million to spay and neuter pets. I will slam her for the blonde, though. And just the total appearance. Lainey puts the emphasis on the weird blonde shade, but is it just me, or does Katherine's skin look really weird too? Like she's sunburned and she just covered it with the motherload of foundation? Or is it just a bad blonde and bad lighting? And a bad blouse? Eh. One other Heigl story - she's the October cover girl for InStyle Magazine, and in an interview excerpt, she discusses how her daughter doesn't really care for her. Just kidding. Or am I? Dame Heigl says: "The first thing she said was, ‘Dada,’ and then she’d call everybody else she loved ‘Dada'. She actually attached to Josh (Kelley) much faster. There’s this thing where, as a new mother, you’re just constantly going, Am I doing this right? Am I handling this right? Am I playing with her enough? Should I be talking to her more? You’re just nervous, so you’re almost creating more drama than is necessary.” Totally normal, the "Dada" thing. The "d" sound is easier for babies to make anyway. Back to the blonde and her face… I know I said that I wouldn't make fun of her foundation's work, but would it be so difficult for Dame Heigl to NOT make her patented bitchfaces throughout the whole press conference for her charity?    |
| Beth Ditto: Skinny is not necessarily healthy, fat is not necessarily unhealthy Posted: 24 Sep 2010 07:31 AM PDT
[From Contact Music via Jezebel] Kaiser let me know that Ditto is friends with Kate Moss and Karl Lagerfeld, so she clearly knows what she’s talking about when she says that there are thin people who chain smoke and do lines instead of eating. I agree with her to a point. I don’t think it’s healthy to be very thin, especially if someone is doing drugs and smoking to maintain it, just as it’s not healthy to be obese. While it’s been (arguably) shown that people who are somewhat overweight do not have an increased mortality rate, at least one study showed an increased death rate among people who were underweight or obese. So both extremes of the spectrum are unhealthy for different reasons. It’s strange though that our culture associates extreme thinness with health. That’s probably because it’s so difficult to attain at this point.    |
| Tom Hardy is engaged, totally off the market for men and women (sob) Posted: 24 Sep 2010 07:16 AM PDT Damn it! Charlotte Riley is the new Jennifer Westfeldt. We must destroy her for the good of hot dudes everywhere. Riley's rep has announced that she's engaged to bisexual heartthrob Tom Hardy. Hardy's rep, meanwhile, is all "Who?" No, he just didn't confirm it, but I think it's probably on! Hardy has memorably stoked our homoerotic fantasies by discussing in detail how he's played with everyone and everything, and how he spent years getting high and f-cking everything with two legs and a tight ass. Hardy always emphasized that all of that was in the past, and I think he and this Charlotte chick (she's an actress) have been dating for a couple of years.
[From People] So is Hardy a one-woman kind of man? We'll find out. In my opinion, he's probably a Sean Bean type (I just accidentally typed "tight" which shows you where my mind is). Tom will probably end up marrying five times and all of his ex-wives will claim that the only thing going for him was his awesomeness in bed. So don't pack up your panties yet! I mean, good luck to Charlotte and everything (something tells me she'll need it), but I'm guessing this one is not for keeps. Oh, and he's already been married once before…? And he already has a kid too, I think. So… yeah. Good luck, Charlotte. Lucky bitch. Header: Hardy & Riley on July 13, 2010. Credit: WENN.    |
| Eddie Fisher, ex-husband to Debbie Reynolds & Liz Taylor, dies at age 82 Posted: 24 Sep 2010 06:53 AM PDT Eddie Fisher passed away at the age of 82 last night in Berkeley. He lived a long, full life with lots of ex-wives and children and scandals and career highs and lows. Fisher's family spokesperson called him "an extraordinary talent and a true mensch." HuffPo/AP has more:
[From Huffington Post] Yes, it's very sad. But I'd like to do a little mini-Vintage Scandal Friday. I've been reading Furious Love, the biography of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton and their romance and marriage, and I have to admit, Eddie does not come across well. Although the authors give him some credit, he didn't sound like the coolest guy at all. When Eddie Fisher publicly dumped Debbie Reynolds for Elizabeth Taylor (after Taylor was widowed when Mike Todd died), the authors do make it sound like their marriage was a happy one for several years. But then Liz met Richard Burton, and all hell broke loose. Basically, Eddie was just Elizabeth's assistant, one cog in her entourage at that point, and when Liz started her affair with Burton, Fisher had a fit and flew to another country. He did try to call Elizabeth in Rome though - only Richard answered the phone. When Eddie asked what Richard was doing in his home, Richard replied: "I'm f-cking your wife." Eddie then came back to Rome and confronted Richard's wife with their partners' affair, and Sybil Burton basically dismissed Fisher too. And in the end, Eddie really dragged his heels in the divorce too - Sybil Burton gave in to Richard's divorce request a lot faster, but Eddie fought Elizabeth over everything. He even fought her on custody of her children with other men! The whole thing took, like, three years. Amazing. So, rest in peace, Eddie, you mensch.    |
| Are Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy back together? Posted: 24 Sep 2010 06:34 AM PDT This is a kind of heartwarming story about two kooky famous people finding their way back together after a high profile breakup. According to Star Magazine, which has run insider stories on these two in the past, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey are trying to make it work again after splitting up this April. They’ve since each been seen out with other people, but (allegedly) found their way back to each other and may be headed for a reconciliation.
[From Star Magazine] I hope this is true. I really loved them together and they seemed like such a united team. There were rumors that after their breakup Jim gave Jenny a whopping $25 million to help ensure that she and her son, Evan, were set for life along with providing financing for Jenny to continue her autism advocacy work. Jenny might not really need the money. She has a talkshow coming out on Oprah’s new network, and reports have her earning $3-5 million a year with bonuses for high ratings. We’re about to see a lot more of her, or maybe not if Oprah’s new network ends up being a flop. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this is true and that these two are back together.    |
| Cameron Crowe & Nancy Wilson divorcing after 20 years Posted: 24 Sep 2010 06:29 AM PDT Sad news for anyone who is a fan of rock n' roll. Oscar-winning screenwriter and director Cameron Crowe and his wife Nancy Wilson (of Heart) are divorcing after 20 years of marriage. Crowe is the writer/director of such films as the autobiographical Almost Famous (a favorite of mine), Vanilla Sky, Jerry Maguire and Singles. Nancy Wilson, in addition to her rock career, has worked with Crowe on many of his films, doing music arrangements, writing songs and working on the soundtrack. They have two children together. And they seemed really, really tight!
[From HuffPo] I wonder if there's any scandal there? These days, you never can tell. I thought director Robert Rodriguez was a good guy and a solid family man, and he dumped his wife (and mother of his, like, four or five children) for actress Rose McGowen. So did Cameron leave his wife for some young actress? Did Nancy leave Cameron for some hot rock 'n roll piece? I don't know. Maybe it was just Elizabethtown and the badness that is Orly Bloom. Here’s one of my favorite scenes from Almost Famous: Cameron and Nancy in 2006 & 2007, credit: WENN.    |
| Levi Johnston’s sister: Bristol Palin had breast reduction & liposuction Posted: 24 Sep 2010 06:09 AM PDT
Meanwhile Star has some smack talk from Mercede Johnston, the sister of Bristol’s ex, Levi Johnston. Mercede claims that Bristol has had a breast reduction and liposuction, but the evidence she has is just hearsay and the fact that Bristol didn’t want to visit with Levi’s family at Christmas.
[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 4, 2010] The before and after photos that Star uses to show that Bristol had a breast reduction are from the early stages of her pregnancy vs. now, so of course her chest is going to look smaller. Bristol works as an office manager at a dermatologist’s office and it’s possible she has easy access to liposuction and other procedures. This just sounds like sour grapes from Levi’s family, though. There’s a long standing feud between the Johnstons and Palins and I wouldn’t put it past either side to make stuff up to earn money from the tabloids. Whether Bristol got lipo and a breast reduction or not, she claims she’s not going to show too much of her body on Dancing With the Stars. She tells In Touch she’s not going to show her stomach in any skimpy outfits and that “I’m a mom, I don’t want to be out there in a bikini.” She hopes to lose weight on the show, and adds “I haven’t had time to work out in the past year, but I want to get back to where I was right after I had Tripp.” It’s nice that she said she wanted to get back to where she was after she had her baby. That happened to me too, I lost a lot at first after I had my son and then gained some back. I could not find any photos that make it look like Bristol had a breast reduction at all. Here’s a side by side of her in May, 2009 (black shirt) vs. May, 2010 and I don’t see any difference. It’s clear that she’s ready for Hollywood though, plastic surgery or not. Bristol is shown on 9/20 at the DWTS premiere with her partner, Mark Ballas. Credit: WENN.com    |
| Demi Moore & Ashton make their first public outing post-cheating allegations Posted: 24 Sep 2010 06:09 AM PDT These are photos of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher at a Clinton Global Initiative discussion/panel on technology yesterday. They stepped out and met their obligations, because I guess this was already on their schedule when Star Magazine began running stories about Ashton boning club girls. As you might be able to make out from the photos, Demi is wearing her wedding ring, and Ashton is making sure all the cameras get shots of his hand on Demi's knee. Yeah. Is that supposed to convince us? By the way, poor Us Weekly had to run the same old non-denial from Ashton's lawyer - which happened LAST week. Meaning Ashton and Demi still haven't bothered to deny any of these stories from last week or this week. Meanwhile, Radar is publishing exclusives from this "other woman" Brittney Jones, the club girl that Ashton (allegedly) boned on Demi's couch. Radar "shockingly" got photos of Brittany from her friends - stuff like her sleeping topless, that kind of thing. Radar also scored an interview with Brittney, where she basically sounds like she's a f-cking moron. Way to pick 'em, Ashton! He really does like dumb women, doesn't he? Brittany says: "I didn’t break up any marriage, in fact Demi and I are good friends… Don’t believe everything you read about Hollywood ‘marriages’." Oh, and she already has a publicist. Of course. By the way, would anyone like a recap with more details about their affair? Okay, here goes: Brittney met Ashton when he and Demi and Rumer were bowling at Hollywood's Lucky Strike. She slipped her number to Ashton on a napkin, which Ashton then turned in to Demi, and Demi mocked on Twitter. Still, Ashton did contact Brittney, and he began sexting her. Then they f-cked on Demi's couch, in the home that Demi and Ashton share. Brittney claimed that Ashton "is a great lover. Very considerate and sweet… and it was very special to me.” Meanwhile, Brittney's friends say she's a famewhore and her goal was to bone a famous guy: "She told us that she had hooked up with a star; she couldn’t tell us who it was because it would be national news and all this stuff. She didn’t give us a name or anything but she did mention it to us. At the time, we kind of blew it off like, oh whatever Brittney. She was all over the place, all the time, so we didn’t know whether to believe her or not.” Of the texts that Ashton and Brittney (allegedly) exchanged, Brittney describes Ashton as "paranoid" and "a total flirt monster." I read through Star's story this week in the print edition, and while I don't believe everything in there, I do think Brittney has enough details and evidence to back up her claims. Some of the alleged texts exchanged between the two of them were basically Ashton blowing Brittney off because he was "hanging out with his daughter". As for why Brittney doesn't have all of their flirty rendezvous texts, she says that after they f-cked, "Ashton looked over the texts and said he wanted me to delete all the messages from him. He then told me he wanted me to delete the texts I had sent to him. He said they could hurt him." Brittney did as he told her, while he watched. "I didn't want him to be mad at me," says Brittney. Brittney also says: "I thought maybe he and Demi had an open relationship and I could be his girlfriend on the side. Why not?" UGH.    |
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