Cele|bitchy

Paris Hilton’s cokevadge vows to return to Japan
Gisele: “Before you have children, you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man”
Mel Gibson thinks “male menopause” explains why he’s a violent predator
Life & Style: Angelina Jolie “manipulates” Shiloh into being tomboy
ITW: David Beckham cheated on Posh with a hooker… in 2007 (update: denial)
People: Demi Moore’s marriage under fire - are they calling her out?
Julia Roberts keeps all her husband’s love letters to give to her daughter
Pamela Anderson: “My children are made fun of because I have posed naked”
Demi Moore to appear in Melbourne court, suing for photobooth pics in tabloid
New cover of OK! Jennifer Aniston: I’m back with John Mayer

Paris Hilton’s cokevadge vows to return to Japan

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 08:59 AM PDT

I'm a bit of a World War II nerd (and these are difficult days to be a WWII nerd, what with everyone raping history just to call people they disagree with "like Hitler" or "like Stalin"). So when I saw the headlines "Paris to Japan: I Shall Return," I got a chill. Thankfully, Paris Hilton has no idea who General Douglas MacArthur was, so I don't think we should worry. Anyway, after Paris Hilton's little wonkblocked jaunt to Japan, she has vowed - on Twitter - that she will return at some point to visit all of her Asian fans. Note to Asia: Do NOT encourage this.

Sayonara, Paris. The controversial socialite was spotted Wednesday at Narita Tokyo Airport in Japan after being kicked out of the country because of her recent drug arrest in the U.S.

“I’m going back home, and I look forward to coming back to Japan in the future,” Hilton- wearing a black baseball cap and a navy sweat suit-told reporters before departing on her private jet.

“I’m really tired,” she added.

As RadarOnline.com was first to report, Hilton, 29, was detained and questioned for several hours over two days after arriving in Japan late Tuesday. Japan has strict immigration laws that bar entry to those convicted of drug offenses, although exceptions are occasionally granted.

Only a day before she arrived in Japan, Hilton copped a plea stemming from her arrest in Las Vegas last month on cocaine charges. In exchange for prosecutors dropping a felony charge, Paris pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors and was given a suspended sentence, fined and ordered to perform community service.

Hilton was to appear Wednesday at a news conference in Tokyo to promote her fashion and fragrance lines. In addition to canceling that appearance, Hilton also abruptly nixed planned appearances in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Jakarta, Indonesia. Her publicist, Dawn Miller, said Hilton plans to make the trips at a later date.

“Paris is very disappointed and fought hard to keep her business commitments and see her fans, but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia,” she said in a statement. "Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them.”

Just before taking off, Hilton tweeted a message to her fans.

“Going home now. So disappointed to miss my fans in Asia. I promise to come back soon. I love you all! Love Paris xoxo.”

[From Radar]

I do feel slightly bad for Paris, only because you know that flight was long and hellish, and you know it sucks hard to get right back on the plane for another long flight home. Still, it's Paris, so she deserves it. And good on Japan. You know what I don't understand though - why did she have to cancel her whole Asian tour? Those other countries don't have the same laws as Japan - I bet Malaysia and Indonesia would let her come in. Another brilliant plan. I bet it didn't even occur to her that she could skip Japan and still do the other countries. Paris thinks, "If my cokevadge can't go to Japan, that must be the rule for all of the not white countries."

Also, have we talked about this yet: When did Paris's boobs get so f-cking big?

Gisele: “Before you have children, you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man”

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 08:29 AM PDT

As we all know, Gisele thinks all of you mothers out there suck. You ladies blow. Hard. Says Gisele. You're not breastfeeding in the correct Gisele-approved way, you're not potty-training your baby at 6 months old, the way Gisele did, and of course, you're fat. You shouldn't treat your body like a garbage disposal, fatty. Especially when you're pregnant. Oh, and you should definitely give birth naturally, because you suck if you don't. Now, if Gisele had just said "this is my opinion, this is how I plan to be pregnant, this is my experience" that would be one thing. But Gisele is a strident, sanctimonious bitch, and she loves to use her own experiences with pregnancy and motherhood to deign to tell other women how they MUST experience it. And now not only does Gisele deign to tell us how we must experience motherhood, she's now getting into the procreation orders. We must not get pregnant unless "you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man. You can’t settle for less . . . someone you love, and someone who has the same beliefs.” F-ck you, single mothers. Oh, and f-ck you too Bridget Moynahan.

Gisele Bundchen says she loves being a mother — and advises other women to wait for the right man before starting a family. The supermodel — married to Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, with whom she has 9-month-old Benjamin — told us: “My son is so beautiful, I love him so much. But before you have children, you have got to make sure you’ve got a great man. You can’t settle for less . . . someone you love, and someone who has the same beliefs.”

After presenting awards to those helping to preserve the planet at Monday’s Important Dinner for Women hosted by Wendi Murdoch, Queen Rania of Jordan and Indra Nooyi, Gisele — a UN Ambassador to protect environmental biodiversity — said: “I love being a mother . . . it is challenging. It is different when everything is not about you and your life — now there is someone much more important. It takes some adjusting . . . But it is so, so wonderful.”

[From Page Six]

Granted, I get what Gisele is saying, just as I've understand her various sanctimonious points in previous "Jesus, Gisele" posts. I really don't think Gisele means to come across so stridently and with every word dripping in sanctimonious judgment, but she does comes across that way ALL THE TIME. In this interview, I think she was just trying to praise/brag about Tom Brady and how awesome he is to her and how she couldn't do it without him. Instead, I heard "Haha, all of you bitches have to settle with some balding douche while I get Tom Brady as my baby-daddy! Why do you even want to have a baby? You're so fat." And I also think it was directed at Bridget. Because I'm fun.

Gisele at a UN event on Sept. 20, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Mel Gibson thinks “male menopause” explains why he’s a violent predator

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 07:54 AM PDT

Shock of shocks, TMZ is still running exclusives from Team Diabeetus Kitty. Actually, that makes Mel sound a lot cuter then what he actually is - a crazed, racist, misogynistic, violent abuser. But now we have Mel's own reasoning for why he's such a jacked piece of crap. According to a letter that Mel wrote - that TMZ magically got their hands on! - Mel thinks he's going through male menopause. Now… male menopause is real thing, sort of. I've heard about it before, and I just looked it up on WebMD. They describe it as "Along with the decline in testosterone, some men experience symptoms such as fatigue, weakness, depression, and sexual problems. The relationship of these symptoms to the decreased testosterone levels is still controversial." Nowhere could I find any medical literature suggesting that male menopause would be an excuse for telling your glum c-nt girlfriend that she should be "raped by a pack of n-ggers" after you've beaten the hell out of her. Here's more from Team Declining Testosterone:

Mel Gibson wrote a frantic, rambling letter to Oksana Grigorieva a year before their infamous, January blowout — in which he describes feeling so out of control that he “could drink or commit a crime.”

TMZ has obtained a copy of the letter — handwritten by Mel — and in it he says, “I’m so ragged I could drink or commit a crime. The anger seems to be out of my control — I need to do something about it something lasting — not just a band aid.”

In the undated letter — which sources connected to the case tell TMZ was written in December 2008 — he says, “I don’t know why I’m so whacky and depressed but I need to get well and re-enter life. Please don’t be upset I’ve gone — I’m just not myself and feel bad when I am so f**ked up and sick around you.”

Mel goes on: “I don’t want to inflict this unhealthy version of myself on you.”

Mel theorizes, “Maybe it’s some kind of male menopause — or Brian’s s**t.” We’re told Brian is Mel’s holistic doctor.

In the letter, Mel repeatedly tells Oksana, “I love you” and says, “…this isn’t who I was meant to be — I know it! I’m scared I can’t get back.”

[From TMZ]

If you go to TMZ here, you can see that the letter is handwritten and undated. So, basically, Team Beater could have written this sh-t a couple of days ago after thinking up a new strategy. "Hey, dude, what if we said he has male menopause?" "Sure, why not? Could hurt." "By the way, where's Mel?" "Oh, I think he's outside, screaming at a tree, something about the tree blowing him before the Jacuzzi."

Also - Radar has this story up about Mel's alleged "proof" that Oksana was trying to extort him, this alleged "smoking gun evidence" that Team Beater has been pushing at TMZ. Radar claims that the evidence is just a brief exchange of texts in which Oksana says that she wouldn't have released the tapes (or had them released by some intermediary) if Mel had taken care of Lucia and treaty Lucia like a legit daughter. Eh.

Vintage Mel photos, courtesy of Fame.

Life & Style: Angelina Jolie “manipulates” Shiloh into being tomboy

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 07:20 AM PDT

For. The. Love. Of. God. Life & Style seems to think they've got a winning tabloid recipe by continuing the "Angelina Jolie is evil, and a horrible mother, because Shiloh is dressed like a boy" cover stories. I've lost count of how many covers they've run on that theme - this might be the sixth, maybe? It's beyond ridiculous. Life & Style's editors seems to think that Angelina and Angelina alone is the "reason" that Shiloh wears pants. According to their sources and experts, when Angelina isn't sending messages to the gerbils via carrier pigeon, she's barking orders at her stylist to find some cargo pants for Shiloh. "Yes," Angelina says, rubbing her hands together. "It's her fault for not being born a boy, I will rectify the situation by giving her a bowl cut."

While Angelina Jolie has always insisted she has nothing to do with daughter Shiloh’s controversial boyish behavior, insiders close to the family tell Life & Style that Angelina’s actually the one dressing Shiloh like a tomboy. “She’s been dressing Shiloh in her older brother Maddox’s hand-me-downs, including making her wear boys’ boxer shorts, for years,” the insider tells Life & Style.

“It definitely doesn’t look like she dressed herself,” Children’s stylist Zoey Washington tells Life & Style, referring to Shiloh’s trendy ensemble on Sept. 14 at LAX–an Old Navy Pique Polo boys’ top, shorts brother Maddox wore in 2007 and unlaced combat boots. “Maybe her mom had her stylist throw the look together.”

“Angelina has an idea that each child should have a specific personality that she picked out for them practically at birth,” the insider says. “She’s the tomboy.”

In fact, she even gave her daughter a boy’s name. Of Hebrew origin, Shiloh has meanings including “his gift” and “he who is to be sent” and is traditionally used for boys. And she’s come to prefer boys’ names: Shiloh asks to be called John or Peter, Brad once revealed. And a second insider tells Life & Style she’s added the name Gregory to her list.

“It’s normal for a little girl to explore the opposite gender,” notes psychologist and parenting expert Jonathan Alpert. “But if a parent is trying to defy a cultural norm at the expense of the child, that’s a different story. Parents shouldn’t push their agenda via their child.”

[From Life & Style]

I thought they named her Shiloh because Angelina's mother Marcheline loved the name "Shiloh Baptist" and Marcheline always wanted to name one of her kids that? And "Shiloh" was a name that was used by both Angelina and James Haven at various times in their lives, and it had great significance to them? As far as wanting to change her name - yeah. A lot of kids do that. I wanted to be called "Diane" for years when I was a kid. And now I write under a completely different name too. And I wear pants ALL THE TIME. ZOMG!!! Angelina has forced me to become a lesbian too!!!

So, basically, I wish Life & Style would eat a big, burning bag of d-cks. F-ckers.

Life & Style cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

ITW: David Beckham cheated on Posh with a hooker… in 2007 (update: denial)

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 06:57 AM PDT

Can you guys believe that somehow, somewhere, I pulled the name "Rebecca Loos" out of my memory bank? I really do have an encyclopedic memory for crap. It's not like I even care about David and Victoria Beckham's marriage - but I do enjoy a good cheatin’ scandal, especially if there have been notable harbingers of doom in the preceding years. And that brings me to Rebecca Loos - she was David's personal assistant back in 2003-2004. She and Becks had a torrid affair in multiple cities as she traveled with him everywhere. Then she began selling her story to outlets, and everyone was like "Oh, yeah, this happened, and it was probably pretty hot too." Long story short, David and Victoria fought back, sort of, and they stuck together, and it seemed like they were stronger than ever, especially these past few years. And now In Touch Weekly is all "Hey, Posh, your husband was boning a hooker."

In a worldwide exclusive interview with In Touch, Irma Nici, a former high-class call girl, claims she's slept with the world's most famous soccer star, David Beckham, five times in 2007 and spills every dirty detail of their affair. "It was a high," Irma, 26, tells In Touch. "All of these women dream of being with him, and I got to hook up with him. It was very exciting."

Irma claims that after agreeing on a price of $10,000 to stay the night, the two spent the next hour engaged in steamy foreplay. Irma says she then "whipped out" a condom and the two had sex for 15 minutes, but it was "nothing freaky," she remembers. "He was very gentle and kind." On a scale of 1 to 10, Irma rates David a 7½ as a lover. "He knew what he was doing." She also recalls that David used lotion from the hotel bathroom to pleasure himself. "It was perfumed, so it kind of burned him!"

During their initial sexual encounter, David even opened up about wife of 11 years, Victoria. Irma says that David told her he preferred Victoria's old curvier body. "He was saying that he liked her body more before," she says. David also revealed to Irma that he is "more of a butt man than a breast man."

[From In Touch Weekly]

On one side, I think it's pretty cheesy that they had to reach back to 2007 for a cheating scandal. On the other side, I think this probably happened, and that Victoria may have even known. I think Victoria "allows" David's indiscretions as long as he is discreet. It's not so much an open marriage, but maybe it's an old-fashioned "let the man do what he wants as long as he comes home to me" marriage. And maybe it's a victory for Posh - after all, David hired a hooker rather than become entangled in an actual love affair with a friend or colleague, you know? Eh. I'm struggling for the silver lining. Anyway, I doubt this will damage their marriage.

Also: Beckham’s perfumed, burning dong? LOVE. And I love that he told the hooker he preferred Posh’s old body. Gain some weight, Posh!

UPDATE: Us Weekly has the Beckhams' formal denial. According to their rep, In Touch's allegations "are completely untrue and totally ridiculous, as the magazine was clearly told before publication. Sadly we live in a world where a magazine can print lies and believe they can get away with it. We are taking legal action against the magazine.” A source also tells the mag that David and Victoria will "fight this. They’re fed up with people trying to tear them apart. Their love is strong.”

People: Demi Moore’s marriage under fire - are they calling her out?

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 06:37 AM PDT

It has been said that once People Magazine calls you out, your CatFace is in trouble. So it is with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. As I wrote earlier, Star Magazine released their third cover story in a row about Ashton cheating on Demi with much younger club girls - one a hot young blonde at Madeo, the other a young Demi-type named Brittany Jones, who Ashton allegedly boned on his wife's couch. I'm struggling to figure out if Demi's people organized this People Magazine cover story to combat the Star stories, or whether People is calling out Demi and Ashton. Here's the online excerpt:

As Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher prepare to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary on Friday, they are weathering a storm of rumors regarding their relationship.

With tabloid allegations circulating that Kutcher, 32, cheated on Moore, 47, the couple are presenting a united front. On Sept. 18, Kutcher visited Moore on the Michigan set of her film The Reasonable Bunch. During the visit, a set source says the couple seemed as loving as ever: “She gushes over Ashton,” the source tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “You could hear them laughing in her trailer.”

Privately, another source says, the couple are “angry” about the rumors and have instructed loved ones not to inquire: “Kind of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.”

But others are not so sure their much-scrutinized age difference hasn’t finally caught up to the couple.

“Somehow I thought it was going to come back to haunt them,” says an industry colleague. “He got married young and, as crass as this sounds, never seemed to have his fill.” Still, “they seemed super committed.”

[From People Magazine]

So… it doesn't seem like Demi or Ashton are quoted in the story, but it does seem like they authorized some people to talk on their behalf about how in love they are. People seems to have gone one step further, though, and they got themselves some harsh quotes. My mom and I were talking about it last night - my mom's opinion is that Ashton is gay and that Demi is going to leave him. My opinion is that Ashton is a player and that he's probably always been unfaithful to Demi throughout the years, and that when Demi takes a good long look at her marriage, she's going to leave his ass. I believe that Demi is strong enough to leave, and let's hope she proves me right.

Meanwhile, Radar has an addendum to Star Magazine's reporting about the affair. They make Brittney Jones sound like an old-fashioned starf-cker, in the vein of one of Tiger's Ho-Jo's waitresses:

Brittney Jones, the 21-year-old woman who claims she had a steamy one night stand with Ashton Kutcher, had her sights set on him for years, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively. A source close to Brittney told RadarOnline.com exclusively that Jones “has always been obsessed with Ashton” pre-dating the steamy affair with the married actor.

“She told me once that he was by far the number one celebrity she’d like to have sex with,” said the insider, who knows Jones extremely well. “And she is totally the type to do it.”

RadarOnline.com has also obtained some never-before-seen photos of Jones who has since hired a manager and publicist in the wake of the scandal. Star Magazine was first to report the Kutcher’s cheating scandal, revealing how Jones first met the actor, 32, in July at Lucky Strike Lanes in Hollywood. Kutcher was there with wife Demi Moore, 47, her daughter Rumer Willis and some friends.

According to Jones, Kutcher struck up a conversation with her and despite knowing he was there with his wife, she slipped him her number on a cocktail napkin as he was getting ready to go.

A few days later, Jones said the actor brought her back to the sprawling Hollywood mansion he shares with Moore. There she seduced her on the family couch while Moore was in Detroit shooting a movie.

“It was tender and nice,” she recalled, “not some random sex act.”

Kutcher and Moore, who are separated by a 15-year age gap, celebrate their fifth anniversary later this month. While most consider Moore to be one of the most beautiful women in the world, there’s no escaping the fact that Jones, 21, is half her age.

Earlier this month Moore recently posted a picture of herself in a sexy bikini on her Twitter page which sparked curiosity about the message she seemed to be sending: stay away from my man! For the record, Kutcher has publicly denied cheating. But the source who spoke to RadarOnline.com insisted Jones is telling the truth about her steamy affair with Kutcher.

“I believe she did it,” the insider told RadarOnline.com. “I’ve known Brittney for a while and her family is the same way. They’re all gold diggers… she probably took one look at Ashton and saw dollar signs.”

[From Radar]

Yeah. I believe Ashton and Brittany f-cked too. And I think Ashton should have known better.

People cover courtesy of CoverAwards.

Julia Roberts keeps all her husband’s love letters to give to her daughter

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 06:24 AM PDT

Eat, Pray Love opens here in Germany tomorrow, Thursday, and it seems like Julia Roberts is all over the place. There are signs up at my gym, billboards around town, and she’s being interviewed in the German press. In one interview, with German newspaper Bild, she reveals that she has a box that a friend gave her in which she keeps all her love letters from the past ten years from her husband, Danny Moder. She says that she’s going to give them to her daughter someday.

I have a box that a friend gave me and it’s painted on the inside where says ‘love letters to Julia from Danny’ [where] I’ve kept all the notes and letters that my husband has written to me over ten years.

It’s grateful to give to my daughter when she grows up. Great way to get to know your parents, I think.

[From video interview on Bild.de]

It sounds kind of awkward where she says “it’s grateful” but the video is dubbed in German and I had a hard time hearing exactly what she said.

Most of us know how Julia met a then-married Danny when he was working as a cameraman on the set of The Mexican in 2001. I’m sure he sent her plenty of sweet notes while they were cheating as well as in the early stages of their relationship. They’ve been married for eight years and have three children together, so maybe Julia gets a pass for everything now, despite the very petty things she did to Moder’s ex wife. It’s been nine years and everyone has moved on. I don’t know if she should be so willing to share all that with her daughter, although Hazel, now nearly six, will be a grown woman when she inherits her parents’ love letters and is confronted with the reality of her father’s infidelity.

Swiss newspaper 20 Minuten (it’s one of those free papers they give out at the tram stations) has several non-dubbed English video interviews with Julia and her delicious co-star, Javier Bardem. They’re really flirty with each other and Julia tells a story about how her friends gasped when they first saw Javier in the trailer for their movie. Penelope should watch her back.

Pamela Anderson: “My children are made fun of because I have posed naked”

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 06:04 AM PDT

These are photos of Pamela Anderson arriving at the Vivienne Westwood show in London a few days ago. Go Fug Yourself commended Pam for actually being covered up and not looking so blatantly like a 50-year-old hooker eating pancakes at Denny’s at 4 a.m. But I think Pam still looks like hell - look at her horrible makeup! And while the dress isn't terrible, Pam makes any outfit look ridiculously trashy. Meh.

Anyway, Pam recently gave an interview to a television show in Romania (sure, why not?), and she discussed her history of nude modeling and how it affects her two sons now:

“My children are made fun of because I have posed naked,” confessed actress and model, Pamela Anderson while attending a Playboy party during a two day tour in Bucharest.

“When you pose, you are not thinking that one day you will have children who will see it,” added the 43 year old mother of two during an interview with Romanian channel, Pro TV.

Anderson is traveling through Europe as part of a tour for the Playboy Mansion. During the interview she also showed her commitment against animal abuse and domestic violence.

“I have known domestic abuse first hand, and so did my mother,” stated Pam who accepted to play the saxophone, an instrument she’s been playing since she was six years-old, along rumanian singer, Loredana Groza.

[From The Superficial]

Pam has admitted before that her two sons get teased about her sex tape, so I guess all of those school kids found their dads' old copies of Playboy starring Pam. Poor boys. Is this why Pam's sons are violent terrors? Or are they violent little bastards because Pam and Tommy suck as parents? Well, look at it this way - if Pam and Tommy had daughters instead of sons, those girls would be following in their mom's footsteps into pornography right now. Something to think about.

Also - Hollywood Life is asking whether Pam reduced the size of her implants - I think she did.

Pamela in London on Sept. 19, 2010. Credit: Fame.

Demi Moore to appear in Melbourne court, suing for photobooth pics in tabloid

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 06:04 AM PDT

Demi Moore, who regularly posts photos of herself in a bikini and with her family and friends on Twitter, is suing an Australian gossip magazine for publishing candid photos she took with her daughters at a photobooth set up at an Oscars party she co-hosted in 2008. She’s taken the case to court and will appear at a trial in Melbourne later this week.

Demi Moore is scheduled to personally appear in a Melbourne court next week for a legal battle over photographs published in a gossip magazine.
It is understood Moore will fly to Melbourne to give evidence in the Federal Court on Tuesday.

Moore is suing New Idea for printing a series of black and white snaps including herself, her daughter Rumer Willis, Orlando Bloom, P Diddy, Cameron Diaz and Amanda De Cadenet taken at an Oscars after party in 2008.

The photos show the celebrities hamming it up together in photo booth-style snaps.

The post-Oscars bash, organised by Moore and Madonna, was held at the Los Angeles home of the Material Girl’s manager Guy Oseary on February 24, 2008.

Moore lodged a claim in 2008 stating the magazine breached her copyright when it published the pictures on the front cover and on two pages inside its March 8 edition without her permission.

She says she has suffered loss and damage as a result of the publication.

According to the statement of claim, Moore spoke to event organiser Jeffrey Best at the party and the pair agreed that by paying for the photographs Moore would be assigned the copyright.

The trial before Justice John Middleton is expected to run for four-days beginning on Monday.

Other witnesses will give videolink evidence from Los Angeles.

[From News.com.au]

The photos in question can be seen in this video, and there’s nothing particularly incriminating about them at all. There are some cute snaps of Rumor pulling faces, although Moore looks strange. She must be seething that she couldn’t personally approve the photos and never got paid for them. I’m surprised she didn’t either drop this lawsuit or settle it out of court. It’s been over two years, after all. This is typical behavior from her, though. At least this gives her a distraction from all the news and evidence that her husband is cheating on her.

Both Demi and Ashton have cooled down their tweets since the news broke about Ashton’s maybe-affair, which he didn’t directly deny. Are they going to work through it or will they split up, I wonder.

Thanks Smartie for the tip! Send tips to info-at-celebitchy.com

Photos from 8/27/10. Credit: WENN.com

New cover of OK! Jennifer Aniston: I’m back with John Mayer

Posted: 22 Sep 2010 05:59 AM PDT

OK! Magazine is running yet another “exclusive” non-interview Jennifer Aniston cover story. In this one, they claim that Jen declares “I’m back with John!” that “she’s still in love with him,” “he’s ready to start a family” and we’ll hear the details “inside their secret romantic nights at the Ritz.” The inset photo of Jen and John on the cover is an old one, from back in the summer of 2008.

OK!’s story is one we heard over a week ago, about how Aniston and Mayer hooked up in Atlanta when he was stopped there on tour. They add some alleged details and insider quotes, with a “pal” insisting that “she’s still hopelessly in love with him.” The “friend” goes on to add that “Jen feels it was actually John who was the love of her life and the one who got away.” Here’s part of OK!’s story:

On Sept. 7, Jen had a secret romantic rendezvous with a man from her past - one who had broken her heart - John Mayer.

The A-listers spent two evenings together - the first in the presidential suite of the Ritz-Carlton in Atlanta, ordering room service and drinking Perrier-Jouet champagne and pots of Berry Wellness organic tea. The next night, Jen snuck backstage at John’s concert wearing workout clothes and a baseball cap to hide her famous mane, hoping she wouldn’t be recognized. Afterward, the couple went back to Jen’s suite at The Ritz-Carlton.

“I know Jen had to work the next day, so it wasn’t hours and hours in bed, but she was there,” a pal close to Jen confirms to OK! of the actress, who was in Atlanta filming Wanderlust. (John was in town on tour.) “It went so well, there will be more coming…

“She claims they’re just friends, but the truth is that she’s still hopelessly in love with him… it’s ironic, because the rumors about her past always come back to her and [Brad Pitt]. But Jen feels it was actually John who was the love of her life and the one who got away…

“Jennifer’s been bored to tears with the men she’s been seeing…”

“Everyone’s been tell Jen John’s bad news and she needs to cut him out of her life completely,” says one insider.

Admits another friend of the actress: “I’m shocked that she’s chosen to touch base with him again, I really am…

“I’ve never seen her give anyone a second chance. This is very out of character for her. But she must have good reason to finish out what she and John started…

But now, over the course of several long phone conversations, John has convinced her that he “hadn’t been dating, that he’d given up one-night stands and hooking up with groupies and was done mouthing off to the press about his private life.” (So far, he’s lived up to his end - when asked about a renewed romance, John’s camp demurred, saying: “Although the two remain friends, there’s no truth to any of these rumors.” Jen’s reps deny it, too.)

But John is now apparently ready to settle down and start a family. As OK! previously reported, Jen is ready for kids, too. “John has played the field and led the rock star lifestyle for long enough now,” an insider tells OK!. “He’s gotten it all out of his system and wants to settle down with a girl who can be his best friend. There’s nobody out there who got him like Jen did - they shared a deep emotional connection and a fantastic sex life.”

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, October 4, 2010]

OK! claims that John and Jen’s meeting was “the first time the stars have been together in more than a year.” Assuming they did hook up at a hotel a couple of weeks ago, it could have been just some friendly ex sex. We haven’t heard much about them since although maybe they’re laying low.

It’s hard to tell if this is spin from her PR people or some creative storytelling from OK! Given the way OK! has declared her pregnant multiple times, I’m thinking it’s straight from them. Still, it’s suspicious that they’re painting John as a changed man and making it sound like he deserves another chance. That’s like setting us up for a reunion. If they are getting back together, we’re sure to know about it pretty soon. If that’s the case, and that’s a big “if,” John will bolt again soon.

Photo below of Aniston from 8/16/10. Mayer is shown performing on 9/11/10 in West Palm Beach, CA. Get a haircut! Credit: WENN.com