Best Week Ever |
- Your Autumn Jam: Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”
- Harrison Ford’s Harrison-Fordy 70s Interview
- Keanu Reeves Spotted Breaking the Law
- Snooki Goes To The Playground To Read, Look Awesome.
- Mystery Of The Century: Google’s Bouncing Balls Logo
- SIMI-LEBRITIES: Angelina Jolie as a Sith Lord
- Fountains Run Red With Blood In Romania, Obviously.
- Hulk Hogan Explains His Butt Mobility In Great Detail
- MAD MEN RECAP: It’s Draper vs. Olson, Round 3
- Travie McCoy Joins Us For Extra-Vodka-y “Happy Hour”
- Rugby Player Poses Naked With Dogs Blocking His Balls
- Bristol “Gams” Palin’s Dancing With The Stars Promo Photo
| Your Autumn Jam: Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair” Posted: 08 Sep 2010 08:56 AM PDT
Warning: This hot new track from 9 year old Willow Smith could result in neck injuries and face injuries caused both by whipping one’s own hair and being struck by other’s rapidly whipped hair. Whip My Hair – Willow Smith by Rap-Up  |
| Harrison Ford’s Harrison-Fordy 70s Interview Posted: 08 Sep 2010 08:21 AM PDT Being well in-tune to the finer things in life, I consider myself an avid connoisseur of Harrison Ford interviews; each one is different, each one is hilarious in its own way, and each one instantly reminds you that this human being who is being interviewed would be better off if he were not being interviewed. So when I came across this 70s Harrison Ford interview recorded just as Star Wars was beginning to gain popularity, my highly-developed Ford-interview palate began to tingle, and sure enough, the video didn’t disappoint. It doesn’t start to get awesomely Harrison Fordy until around the 3:30 mark, but once he mentions the “well of energy,” he is off and running: (via MTV Movies Blog)  |
| Keanu Reeves Spotted Breaking the Law Posted: 08 Sep 2010 07:49 AM PDT
Here’s a scruffy, recently birthday’d Keanu Reeves caught on camera flagrantly breaking the law. It clearly says NO LOITERING. And correct us if we’re wrong, but Keanu is the very definition of “Loitering.” On the bright side, ahead we have a photo of Keanu laughing while performing Shakespearean monologues to no one in particular.
[Photos: Splash News Online]  |
| Snooki Goes To The Playground To Read, Look Awesome. Posted: 08 Sep 2010 07:37 AM PDT
I get it. I finally “get” Snooki. I couldn’t tell you exactly why. It might be the confluence of all the things going on-just a perfect storm of props. Seemingly completely disparate objects-Snooki and a book (about POWER no less-I guess this makes three books she’s read?), Snooki and glasses, a book and a playground horse, winter boots and a summer dress. But together, it all makes sense. A harmonious whole. Not just this photo, life. Don’t worry, everyone. I think we’ll be OK.  |
| Mystery Of The Century: Google’s Bouncing Balls Logo Posted: 07 Sep 2010 02:20 PM PDT Google’s homepage logo today is made up of a bunch of balls:
When you scroll over the balls, they bounce around and stuff:
Cool, harmless, fun time-waster, right? Or maybe, like anytime Google does anything, the internet has gone apesh*t and declared this the MYSTERY OF THE CENTURY:
Might’ve Photoshopped in that purple one myself, but who’s counting? That’s just a handful of the 200+ stories online today trying to make sense out of Google’s harmlessly entertaining homepage, thus officially making it the Mystery of the Century. Unfortunately, there will not be many great mysteries in the next 90 years, as this one is already the one of the century, according to me. Can anyone solve it? The New York Daily News offers this hard-hitting exposé:
WE’LL LEAVE IT AT THAT??? How am I supposed to waste a couple minutes bouncing balls around my screen without knowing the precise reason for why I am able to do this?? Looks like we finally have a “Who Shot J.R.?” for our generation. We’ll just never know the answer. Wait, they answered “Who Shot J.R.?” 30 years ago? Oh. Then maybe this will be answered 30 years ago. I made an analogy and I’m sticking to it.  |
| SIMI-LEBRITIES: Angelina Jolie as a Sith Lord Posted: 07 Sep 2010 01:29 PM PDT
To be fair, we’re being a bit sh*tty about Angelina Jolie here, as she’s visiting Pakistan in an effort to help the millions of people devastated by the recent flooding there. But really, she couldn’t find a less Star Warsy burka? And, you know, not look like a 35 year old skeleton? I can’t even hate on this woman, though. Sith Lord it up, Ang! You still look ameezeeng. Continue about your business.  |
| Fountains Run Red With Blood In Romania, Obviously. Posted: 07 Sep 2010 12:48 PM PDT I mean, of course they do. This is so not a big surprise. Isn’t Romania where Transylvania is? Yes, it is. It’s where Vigo the effing Carpathian is from. I’m surprised that this is fake blood. Also where’s the mountain of skulls? Castle of Pain? (Cranes neck) I don’t see it…Well, I guess I’ll take what I can get. Anyway, this fountain ‘o blood comes to you from Unirii Boulevard, Bucharest, Romania (Transylvania Adjacent-TransAd-is what the real estate people say). It’s a promotion for Hemophilia awareness. You know, ’cause with Hemophilia, your bood runs like water. Can’t clot, won’t clot. Because you’re a 19th century inbred European princess. Ugh, I WISH. Anyway, here it is.
The Swedish Bed has more photos and a videos  |
| Hulk Hogan Explains His Butt Mobility In Great Detail Posted: 07 Sep 2010 12:21 PM PDT Hulk Hogan Tweeted a video from his hospital bed today to answer some of his fans’ burning questions about: 1) How he injured his butt. I haven’t heard this much butt conversation since the show Salute Your Shorts tweeted from its hospital bed: (via The Fab Life)  |
| MAD MEN RECAP: It’s Draper vs. Olson, Round 3 Posted: 07 Sep 2010 10:54 AM PDT This is a recap for the seventh episode of Season 4 of Mad Men starring Jon Hamm, Christina Hendricks, John Slattery, January Jones, and a slew of other talented actors, on an episode called “The Suitcase.” And here is your For Your Consideration Recap:
Are you guys ready for the most racist Mad Men episode yet? It’s a good thing Matthew “Hebrew National” Weiner wrote this episode or I would be drafting a lengthy BBM to the Anti-Defamation League about how of COURSE the new shifty-eyed short guy is “such a Jew.” In other news, my Celebrity Math in last week’s recap was totally off. Danny = Jon Lovitz. There really isn’t any math involved at all. And if you have no idea what scene we’re referring to, learn Hungarian and click here.
“If I wanted to see two negroes fight, I’d throw a dollar bill out my window.” We’re exactly two minutes into this episode, and already there have been two racist atomic bombs dropped in the offices of Sterling Cooper. Pretty sure I sat down to watch the new Mad Men and not the sequel to Crash (GOD FORBID).
Ughhhhh we love him. Look at that still. It’s like Norman Rockwell porn! Could it get any better? Yes:
The resemblance is striking. And when I look at him… Screencaps are a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… and I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.
So Peggy and her crew, dejected, take their pointy felt hats elsewhere to try and brainstorm a new Samsonite campaign.
A bouquet of flowers at work. That is so sweet. Peggy should get on the phone and thank him for being the best boyfriend ev–
The flowers were sent by Duck. DUCK! And not just Duck, but Drunk Duck. He really does have a whiskey d*ck for that gal, don’t he?
Future Business Cards. I wish I could find a man to send me 500 free Vista Prints… Though, in all fairness, he really outdid himself with that Hermes scarf a couple of years ago.
Duck came up with a genius Tampax campaign without even knowing it. I mean, they are seriously up there. And good lord, I had no idea Tampax makes up 50 percent of the market share!! Do you know how my p-blood that could absorb?
If the racism wasn’t enough to make you cringe, prepare for the most slapstick, gross-out toilet humor television hour since the 1993 Salute Your Shorts Summer Special. Side note: A Don Draper Awful Waffle is our new unrealized fetish. Speaking of which…
Miss Blankenship to Don: “You gotta call while you were on the toilet.” Don… on the… toilet? No… No… Actually, you know what, I bet you he’s still fully dapper and gentlemanly while on the bowl. It would probably look something like this:
Two women impregnated by Pete Campbell: Peggy and his wife Trudy, who chatted it up in the bathroom despite the fact that Trudy was wearing a giant Carvel Ice Cream Cake Whale.
Watching the panic set in over and over again does not get any less entertaining.
“I want a rare steak and I want to see those two men pound each other.” — Trudy/All Gay Bears
Peggy had to break the news to her boyfriend Mark that she wasn’t going to be on time to her birthday dinner.
“Oh, it’s your birthday? Well boo-f*cking-hoo Peggy. THERE ARE SUITCASES THAT MUST BE SOLD. Want me to dial Whine-1-1?? Because your F*CKING RIDE IS HERE!!!!”
The beautiful budding romance between Peggy and her boyfriend Mark has come to an end. Peggy chose work over dining with him, her roommate, and her assy family. That’s a dealbreaker, ladies.
Peggy’s birthday? Breaking up with her boyfriend? Sympathy? From Don? Um, no. This is the same man who saw his father die after he got kicked in the face by a horse.
That’s Don Draper and Jesus (Left, right? Left.) Even Jesus is like “Get out of here while you can, Peg.” Seriously, look at his face. That, or he just realized he forgot to DVR “Dating in the Dark.”
The acting in this episode was top notch, but special credit has to be given to to Elisabeth Moss for her incredible ability and naturalness. (Word? Sure.) This crying scene in particular? It was so good, in fact, that this time Don called up the
As my friend and radio superstar Derek Hartley postulated merely weeks ago, Roger Sterling put it in Miss Blankenship. She was a hellcat!! You know, under that blue hair and those hideous glasses, I could see it being true. Don better stop it with the drink or next thing you know, we’ll be treated to the most unappetizing Mad Men sex scene since Bert Cooper got his balls chopped off.
This is about as much as we can reveal of our eye-plucking findings. In a related story, I will also never eat orecchiette again.
“You know what, there’s a way out of this room we don’t know about.” Could it be that Don is foreshadowing his own death/the end of the series?
Is obviously waiting for it at the baggage carousel. A little unspoken competition between you and all the other passengers on your airplane to see who can get out of the airport fastest. A reunion, a belongings reunion, where all of your things are conveniently conveyor belted to your very feet, where sometimes Herculean strength is needed to reclaim what is rightfully yours. Feeling proud when you see your pricey gear laying next to various battered black lugagge who act as hammocks for cats when not being used. Yes, I do believe the baggage carousel is not only the most exciting thing about a suitcase, but, in fact, our lives.
“You’re cute as hell,” Don tells Peggy, while they both numb the inner bruises on their soul with liquor. Good thing Don also wrote SCDP’s Sexual Harassment Policy, where you get fired if you don’t sleep with your secretaries enough. With all this talk between Peggy and Don and their apparent bonding, I started to wonder… was Don going to sleep with Peggy tonight?
Just saying… in this light… with his pants around his ankles… I bet he was a handsome youngster. Sincerely, Sociopath. Don vs. Duck wasn’t so much a battle of wits as it was a battle of sh*ts. In their drunken hazes, they used Peggy’s loyalty as the impetus to get into a hilarious flail festival where neither of them landed a single punch.
Aww, he’s sort of cute. For a Jew Bastard. (Running with the theme here, people, relax. — Me, a Jew.)
They’re kind of a great dysfunctional match, Don and Peggy. Obsessive, stubborn, with giant bone skeletons haunting their closets. It is somehow the most hopeful thing I’ve seen on television all decade.
Glad to see the same technology that went into making the 1993 classic Heart and Souls is back and shmaltzier than ever.
Seeing Don cry is like seeing your father cry. It goes against every natural human fiber in your soul, and you know that when it happens, sh*t is f*cked. Unless your father is like mine, and cries at the end of every movie/when you read your college application essays out loud, in which case it is business as yoozh. Extra credit to Jon Hamm for being so incredibly natural.
To the elevator and back, on top of which she didn’t even have sex with anyone. And between all the drinking and empty hallways, “The Suitcase” played like the perfect middle to 28 Days and 28 Days Later.
All season Don has been an outright prick to Peggy. But now that their ~bonding~ sesh has taken them to the next level, it looks like all of their demons have been aired out.
There’s really only one thing we can say: ljalklsfkjalskdjlaksalkgt. So, is Don perhaps going to start taking it easy with the drinking? Kind of sounds like it, no? There was an exorcism in the offices of SCDP.
What did you guys think of the episode? Disagree with any of my above assessments? There’s a comments section, friends, get in there.  This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now |
| Travie McCoy Joins Us For Extra-Vodka-y “Happy Hour” Posted: 07 Sep 2010 01:15 PM PDT This month, recent solo artist responsible for the hit “Billionaire” Travie McCoy is this month’s VH1 Posted artist. What does that mean for you and me? Other than being able to access new Travie content every day over at VH1.com, it means that we had the chance to sit down with Travie for a very special episode of “Happy Hour.” You know the drill: Me + 2 glasses of fig vodka + celebrity guest = HILARIOUSLY GREAT TIMES. And Travie was the ideal guest, in that he was equal parts flirt, funnyman, solid drinker, and game. Also this is what happens when I do my own hair and makeup in 10 minutes before drinking 3 shots of vodka. I’m not proud of it. Stay tuned tomorrow when we’ll bring you sordid OUTTAKES from this very interview!  |
| Rugby Player Poses Naked With Dogs Blocking His Balls Posted: 07 Sep 2010 11:07 AM PDT Gavin Henson, the rugby player we’ve heard of because he poses naked in things, has again posed naked in a thing — this time, he’s posing naked in Cosmopolitan to raise awareness for male cancer, which is certainly an admirable use of nudity, but am I wrong to be slightly unnerved by his decision to pose naked next to two huskies blocking his penis?
That question was rhetorical. I am not wrong for being unnerved by that, because this photo is unnerving. It has unned my nerves. I’m not suggesting that this photo implies that Henson had sex with those huskies, just pointing out that us human beings rarely get naked and hang out with animals on purpose. Unless, of course, cottage cheese is involved. And if that’s the case, then he’s off the hook. Otherwise it’s just weird.  |
| Bristol “Gams” Palin’s Dancing With The Stars Promo Photo Posted: 07 Sep 2010 09:49 AM PDT Watch out, Bristol Palin, Hugh Grant in About A Boy is coming after YOU! YOW-ZA!
You see, the joke there is that Hugh Grant’s character in About A Boy hit on single moms. Or, “mums.” Anyways. This is just a taste of what you’ll be seeing outfit-wise, Bristol Palin-wise, DWTS-wise. Palin had previously told PEOPLE magazine:
Fair. The fringe really does cover up the see-through lace situation in some key areas. But unless that is a spandex flesh colored body suit, we’ll be seeing a while lotta Palin leg. I think the modesty of her outfit is directly proportional to the modesty of her acting. Which is to say, very modest, but not modest at all in certain ways. Because terrible things are inherently not modest.  |
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