Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

OPEN THREAD: Who’s Gonna Win Top Chef Season 7?

Posted: 15 Sep 2010 08:26 AM PDT

*****SPOILERS BELOW*****

We’ve come a long way Top Cheffies, from bi-weekly shots of the Jefferson Memorial and Quickfires involving the sauces of Democracy all the way to the streets of Singapore (like the Streets of Philadelphia but with less AIDS discrimination), and after tonight, a new Top Chef will be crowned. Though probably not with a crown.

Today’s question: Who’s gonna win the Top Chef Season 7 Finale?

Feel free to answer any or all of… 1) Who do you WANT to win, 2) Who do you think will win, and 3) One additional random prediction about the Finale.

Leave your predictions in the comments.

My own weak-ass prediction is after the jump:

My picks have been eliminated twice in the last four weeks, so there’s no reason for me to even do this, but if I absolutely have to pick someone, here’s my stupid logic:

- Kevin hasn’t been very good all season. If he wins, it’ll be Hosea Victory Part 2, and the season will feel like a waste and Kevin won’t help Top Chef’s notoriety when he gets back into the culinary world.

- Ed has dominated the past several weeks, but if he wins it’s way less dramatic, as it would just be one dude winning like 6 of the last 8 challenges. Michael Voltaggio went on a hot streak like that at the end of last season, but he was also a really, really awesome chef.

Therefore, I’m going with Angelo. Bravo started him out as the villain then twisted everything around and made him almost look like the victim in relation to Kenny’s and Ed’s lame barbs week after week, and even though he shadily advised like nine people who ended up getting voted off the week he helped them, he’s the best overall chef remaining and seems to be the most plausible choice.

Agree/Disagree?

(My additional prediction: Angelo cries his f***ing face off.)

A Crane Checks Out Its Own Reflection

Posted: 15 Sep 2010 07:46 AM PDT

It’s Wednesday morning and we haven’t posted any ridiculous animal photos this week — I apologize for completely dropping the ball. I keep a ball in my office with a reminder on it to post ridiculous animal photos and I dropped it on Monday so I haven’t looked over at the ball yet and had it remind me to post animal photos.

Without further ado, please welcome A Crane Checking Out Its Own Reflection In A Car Mirror:

“WOW! We are frickin’ WEIRD looking! Guys, guys, come here, have you ever seen what we look like? I thought we all had Clark Gable’s head on top of luscious blue legs, but I was wr-oooonnnng! That’s right, us cranes know who Clark Gable is. I’ve seen North By Northwest. Wait, that’s Cary Grant? Crap. Well it’s still impressive that I, a crane, was that close and was able to articulate it in English, isn’t it? No? Shut up, hippo.”

(via Splash)

F***ING GOD DAMMIT TBS!!!!!!!

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 03:24 PM PDT

EW.com:

NOOOOOO!!!! TBS canceled My Boys after only FOUR SEASONS??? YOU DIDN’T EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE!!!!!!!!! It might’ve been only one more season away from hitting its stride and becoming not the worst show of the post-Civil War era!

Just wait a couple months, TBS executives, and you’ll be wracked with horrible guilt like this guy:

What? A Foamy Bubble Printer? Uh huh!

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 02:47 PM PDT

This video will make you happy to know that there are people out there making very happy inventions.

How did they….? I don’t even get what’s going on here and I love it.  Cool soapy scissory printer, German guys!  Literally the only problem with this is that it will be used in about 600 terrible bands’ music videos over the next year if they can get their hands on it.

I honestly don’t know how The Daily What finds this stuff but I would really like our blogs to like…you know… touch tips?

Half-Speed Judge Judy Is Double-Awesome Judge Judy

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 01:27 PM PDT

If Jeff Goldblum has taught us nothing else (besides the Chaos Theory of water droplets), he’s at least taught us not to underestimate the automatic hilarity that comes with playing videos at half speed.

That said, improving upon Judge Judy toilet disputes seems impossible — like trying to improve upon Citizen Kane Coca-Cola — but sure enough, here’s Judge Judy at half speed, and boy, do I judge it entertaining:

(Thanks, Rebecca E!)

Wait — What Is Parenthood About?

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 12:44 PM PDT

I haven’t watched the NBC show Parenthood, but as far as I understood, it’s a decently well-reviewed one-hour lighthearted drama about several different family segments coping with parenthood (titular line!), and it has a pretty good cast.

So can someone tell me what the hell’s going on in this Parenthood banner ad?

Does Peter Krause discover the power of flight this season but not know how to control it? Because that would be a very different show, even if he is coping with the realities of raising children while also wackily testing the limits of his newfound flight power (Watch out, vases!)

Or does the ad have nothing to do with this season, and was just designed by the same dude who did the Pure Luck poster?

Decisiones Is The Best Show On Telemundo

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 12:47 PM PDT

Decisiones is the name of a soap opera that airs on Telemundo.  What’s important to note here is that I don’t speak any Spanish whatsoever. “Piso mojado” means “Be careful; this is yellow,” right?  But somehow I always completely understand what is going on in every episode.  It is art.  Everything in the show is just as beautifully intuitive as the title of the show itself. Decisiones.  Oh, cool, a show about Spanish speaking people making Spanish decisions.  Got it!  There’s something especially Zen about watching the show if you don’t speak Spanish.  It’s like meditation somehow.  Essentially you’re listening to what amounts to gibberish, but nothing is unclear.

Now, having said all of that, Decisiones is absolutely the most… oh, gosh.  Okay, listen.  I don’t want to get nasty comments about this, but every other word that comes to mind just seems so tepid and impotent.  So, I’m just going to politely ask you all for a pass on using it this one time.  Are we all cool? Cool. Here we go.  Decisiones is absolutely the most retarded show to ever air anywhere in the world.  It is loony-toons.  Oh man, it is so perfect in how ridiculous it is.  It is so ridiculous and unsubtle and on the nose that I couldn’t stop watching it for two years.

And now, I am proud to present to you the single most perfect and representative moment from all of Decisiones. I like to call this clip…. Bingo Mouth Shake Salma.

OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! Cinco Diablo! Mi queso es su queso!  Oh man, I love this show.  How is it possible that the music in that clip isn’t even in the top five funny things about it?  Good LORD!  Jan Brewer is an idiot.

Let’s Fix The Little Bit Of Heaven Poster

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 10:43 AM PDT

Here’s the poster for Little Bit Of Heaven, an upcoming airplane movie starring Kate Hudson and Chris Kattan Gael García Bernal?? The guy from Y Tu Mama Tambien? Uh oh.

Commence pre-wincing, then scroll your eyes down slightly and commence regular wincing:

Ahhhh!!! Kill it! Kiiiiiilllll iiiiiiiitttt!!!

Ok, ok, calm down, it’s just a movie poster, not a Predictable Monster hell-bent on devouring me and my family in a completely empty and formulaic fashion to briefly extend Kate Hudson’s tabloid relevance. Whew.

With that settled, let’s take a moment and fix the Little Bit Of Heaven poster…

Much more comfortable.

Turns Out The Opposite Of Riverdance Is Still Pretty Much Riverdance

Posted: 14 Sep 2010 09:25 AM PDT

Well, expect this to be on every website in about three hours.  It is Irish hand dancing.  And it is basically just Riverdance, but instead of only moving their feet and keeping their upper body still, THESE Irish dancers sit down and only move their arms.  Do Irish people know you are allowed to move both halves of your body at the same time?  It’s a whole nation of dolphin brains over there! (Fun reference fact: dolphins can sleep with half of their brain at a time if they want to.  If you listened to Radiolab, you’d know this.)

Also, I like their decorating choices.  They come from the design school of If-Your-Italian-Grandmother-Was-A-Hipster.

You can learn more about this dance duo here if you want.  But, come on.  Do you really want?

Thanks, Buzzfeed.
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