Thursday, September 2, 2010

Crushable

Crushable

The Daily WTF: This Is a Photo of Jared Leto Shirtless

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 11:24 AM PDT

Jared Leto stopped by the studio of photographer/professional creep Terry Richardson yesterday to pose for some sans-shirt photos. I’ve always kind of reviled Jared and his too-serious band 30 Seconds to Mars as an example of fame gone wrong, but secretly? Some of that actually stems from the time I saw him at a party in L.A. and unsuccessfully tried to hit on him.

Basically, what happened was, after drinking $600 worth of champagne (it was a champagne launch event, I usually stick to whiskey), I looked over and saw Jared wearing some ridiculous tight-pants-and-giant-sneakers outfit and holding court in a room full of Warhols. I gasped, said “Oh my god, Jordan Catalano!” and proceeded to stare him down through drunken, half-open eyes for an hour while he talked to someone, like, much taller and blonder instead. Joke’s on you, Jared! Today I get to see you shirtless anyway.

And, hey, since we’re talking about Leto-related pet peeves? There’s an episode of My So-Called Life titled “Why Jordan Can’t Read,” during which we find out only that Jordan can’t read, but not why that is.

(via Terry Richardson’s Diary)

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The Daily WTF: This Is a Photo of Jared Leto Shirtless

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 10:58 AM PDT

Axl Rose Should Take Tips From Justin Bieber- No, not just on hair-care. During a show in Berlin last night, an irate German threw a bottle and hit Axl on the noggin. Instead of pulling a Biebs and laughing it off, Axl stormed off the stage and refused to come back on. How does a 16-year-old have better manners than this guy? (via TMZ)

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Michael Bay Offers $50,000 Bounty for Puppy-Throwing Girl

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 10:41 AM PDT

The other day, we came across a video of a Bosnian girl throwing a litter of puppies into the river. We decided it was far too graphic and disturbing to put up (seriously, it will make you cry and want to cuddle your co-worker, so maybe you don’t want to watch it), but now there’s been a bizarre turn of events. Director Michael Bay is offering a $50,000 bounty for anyone with information leading to the whereabouts of the girl.

A new video has gone up, supposedly from the girl whose name the creator claims is Katja Puschnik, apologizing for her behavior and offering the excuse that the puppies were ill. But Bay still wants to see her tracked down and prosecuted for her crime.

Michael Bay is a notorious jerk when it comes to humans — Megan Fox was booted from the Transformers franchise after she compared Michael to Hitler and called him “a nightmare to work with” — so it’s good to see he has a soft side.

(Also, by the way, the above photo is from MichaelBay.com, which used to be the most amazing site ever, with dozens and dozens of Michael Bay hi-res photos each more ridiculous than the last, but it’s recently been edited down. Which might be the bigger tragedy mentioned in this this post.)

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Michael Bay Offers $50,000 Bounty for Puppy-Throwing Girl

Video: Between Two Ferns with Seth Galifianakis and Sean Penn

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 10:34 AM PDT

Seth Galifianakis is comedian Zach Galifianakis‘ twin brother (not really. Pro-tip: This is what Zach looks like when he shaves!) and yesterday he took over Zach’s faux-interview program Between Two Ferns to talk to Sean Penn. With all these fake brothers and mock-interviews running around, you would think that Sean would be more of a sport, but he genuinely looks disgruntled. Can’t tell if that’s supposed to be the shtick, if Sean’s actually clueless enough to believe he’s on a real segment, or if Mr. Milk is terrible at “playing along.”
Watch:

Oh, and btw, here’s an example of a “good” interview on B2F, care of Steve Carell:

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Video: Between Two Ferns with Seth Galifianakis and Sean Penn

Between the Lines: Jodie Sweetin Talks About Her New Baby

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 10:07 AM PDT

Yesterday we reported that Jodie Sweetin has given birth to a second child, little Beatrix Carlin Sweetin Coyle, and today we have an update straight from the woman herself. After a several-day Twitter absence, Jodie returned to the keyboard last night to discuss her new baby:

The ex-Full House star seems to be doing well after a checkered past. Jodie notoriously suffered from substance abuse issues, something she came clean about in her memoir, UnSweetined. In 2008, ex-husband Cody Herpin took Jodie to court in a battle retain full-custody of their daughter. He accused Sweetin of driving drunk with the infant in the car. The two currently share custody of the child, whom Jodie has said is eager to meet little sis Beatrix.

The new “great man” Jodie mentioned is her boyfriend DJ Morty Coyle, turntablist to the stars. Morty, 41, became a first-time dad on Tuesday. The musician seems ready to rise to the task, Tweeting about Jodie on Wednesday:

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Between the Lines: Jodie Sweetin Talks About Her New Baby

Nice Stems

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 09:58 AM PDT

Flora and Fauna belong in nature, but also on your feet in these pretty looking (but probably uncomfortable) flower stilettos. Well, at least we’re close to Fashion Week so people won’t think you’re craaaazy. (Via Trenhunter)

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Nice Stems

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 09:28 AM PDT

All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Daft Punk Lyricist – We’re not asking our nu-techo groups to be the world’s greatest wordsmiths, but they should be trying a little harder than this.

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Anonymous Celebrity: Lilit Marcus of Save The Assistants

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 09:10 AM PDT

We didn’t have to travel far this week to find our Anonymous Celebrity…just over to the other corner of the office, where Lilit Marcus, editor-in-chief of TheGloss and -as of Tuesday – published author, resides. Her book about the trials and tribulations of being a corporate slave Save the Assistants, came out of the website she co-founded with the same name. Originally from North Carolina, Lilit loves bourbon, cowgirl boots, and yelling at cab drivers. She also knows a bunch of random religious factoids: Not 10 minutes ago, she enlightened us to where the term “missionary position come from!”

Crushable How did Save the Assistants (the website) come to be?
Lilit: When I first moved to New York, I got a job as an executive assistant. Between moving to a new city where I didn't have a support system to transitioning from college to work, I was a mess. I kept looking for some kind of web resource for assistants and people just starting out in their jobs, but there wasn't one. After I left that job and went to another assistant job – where I did the same kind of admin work but had a really great boss who mentored me – I started the website myself.

Crushable:At what point did you think to yourself, “Whoa, I could have something here?”
Lilit: I think it was when I started to get emails from people I didn't know. At first, the only people who read the site were my friends. Then, I started to get pickup on other blogs and people I didn't know began emailing me their horror stories or asking me questions about how to handle stuff at the office. The best was when people emailed me to tell me that the site had inspired them to quit their jobs and pursue something more rewarding.

Crushable: How did you pitch your first book deal?
Lilit: Several agents and editors had approached me about doing a Save the Assistants book, but most of them wanted me to do some kind of compendium of the best horror stories. I knew that my agent, Rebecca Gradinger, was the right person for me because she wanted me to write something completely original. She understood that the best thing for Save the Assistants wasn't to print out the internet and stick it in a book – it was to write something in the spirit of the site that was original and helpful. We put together a book proposal and she sent it out to editors.

Crushable: What advice would you give young women right out of college?
Lilit:You don't have to be an expert on everything right away. For many of us, we feel pressure to be 'perfect.' It's OK not to know exactly what you want to do with your life and not be a rock star at your job on the very first day. Your career is a learning experience – at each job, you'll pick up new skills and contacts. It's a work in progress, and that's what's great about it.

Crushable: What about ladies stuck in dead-end jobs who might not know about other opportunities available to them?
Lilit: Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, especially if the conventional paths are closed to you. When I first moved to New York, an assistant job was all I could get. It was great because it paid the bills, but what I really wanted to do was write. Since there weren't opportunities to write at my job, I had to pursue writing on my own time. I pitched stories, freelanced for anyone who would let me, and wrote for free a lot. Yes, you're going to have to bust your ass, but if you really love something it won't feel like work. Later, when I got a job editing a website, my writing skills and my assistant skills helped me out tremendously.

Crushable: Is your advice as applicable to both men and women?
Lilit: Absolutely. While a higher percentage of my readers are women, I think that has to do with the fact that more women get pushed into administrative roles. That said, everyone has to be someone's bitch. You may not have the word "assistant" in your job title, but you always have to do someone else's bidding, and that's why Save the Assistants exists.

You can buy Lilit’s book on Amazon.

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Anonymous Celebrity: Lilit Marcus of Save The Assistants

Fan Fiction: Dylan McKay - Age 36

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 09:30 AM PDT

The wave curled and peaked, tossing gallons of Malibu salt, a wayward fish, and a couple empty cartons of Vita Coca Water toward the shore. A surfboard glided into the tunnel. Standing atop it was Dylan McKay: tanned and fit despite 20 years of Peach Pit cheeseburgers that seemed to be perpetually waiting on the counter every time he stepped through the door. Dylan bent his knees to ride the wave, thrusting his hands out in front of him as he leaned forward, and took on the water like Christ himself. And then suddenly: "Ouch! Dammit!"

Dylan collapsed beneath the waves, face contorted in a pained expression that was roughly 1% different from his default expression. He paddled to the shore and hoisted his surfboard onto the sand, letting out a guttural "mmph." He walked to the lifeguard tower where he'd stashed his beach bag and started pulling things out rapid-fire: Raybans, a tank top, a bottle of Valtrex, his favorite Goo Goo Dolls CD (A Boy Named Goo: not what you expected, eh?). At the bottom of the bag, Dylan found what he was looking for. Capsaicin cream: miracle cure for chronic lower back pain.

Dylan's cream spreading ritual [he found a slow clockwise motion (remember when clocks were analog? Dylan does!) to be most effective] was interrupted by a blonde in a bikini, perfectly tanned and staring his way. The girl grinned. Dylan scowled. The girl grinned bigger. Dylan scowled with all the intensity he could muster, lips curling in on themselves, eyes narrowed so severely he couldn't see when the girl started walking towards him: suddenly a foot away, then two inches, then past him to sun-kissed places beyond.

"I've still got it," Dylan thought, running a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair. "I still look just like Mickey Rourke."

Dylan opened his eyes to quarter-glower so he could begin ignoring the girl, but she wasn't there. He spun around, whirling in slow-motion in case the girl was watching. But she wasn't. She was shaking hands with someone in sunglasses and neon swim trunks. It was Tristan Wilds.

His 1992 Porsche 911 was in the shop again, so Dylan had to take the bus back to Beverly Hills. He decided to jump off early (ow: all that bus-jumping doesn't help with the ole back, boy) and pay a visit to Jim Walsh. Like usual, Jim was sitting outside in a wicker rocking chair, watching pedestrians walk by. He waved when he saw Dylan and stood to greet him, resting a hand on his wooden cane. "Can you believe this place?"

Dylan shrugged. Jim indicated toward a tall teenager with curly haired and platform shoes who yammered on a cell phone. Shenae Grimes stuck her tongue out at Jim and Jim shook his head. "There goes the neighborhood."

"So," Dylan flipped on his Raybans and tried to look cool as a cucumber, if a cucumber could have signature sideburns. "Is Brenda back yet?"

"No, son, not back yet."

"She's still in London, huh?"

"Yep."

"How long's it been now?"

"Almost 20 years, Dylan."

Dylan made eye contact with the gravel and practiced his pout. "So, um, do you think she's gonna stay?"

Jim didn't answer, just looked out at Dylan sadly and tapped his cane. Dylan hoisted his board over his shoulder. It wasn't even 10 a.m. yet: he had the whole day in front of him. Dylan thought maybe he'd head to West Beverly and hustle some Oxy from the juniors who hung out by the quad. And then he'd probably wander on over to the Peach Pit and have a cheeseburger, or 8, or as many as it took, as long as they kept on appearing magically before him.

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Fan Fiction: Dylan McKay - Age 36

Posted: 02 Sep 2010 08:35 AM PDT

TheGloss Goes to Beverly Hills- Check out TheGloss`tribute to 90210 Day with their tribute to Tori Spelling`s nose over the years, as well their look back at a very special episode (starring Ryan Seacrest!). (Via TheGloss)

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