Friday, September 10, 2010

Crushable

Crushable

'Playboy' Bunnies Aren't Dumb, They Just Don't Understand How Airplanes Work

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 11:17 AM PDT

Well at least we can’t make a blond joke here: 21-year-old brunette Playgirl Tiffany Livingston freaked out on a recent flight from Orlando to Newark, went to the nearest emergency exit, and tried to “steady herself” with the handle release before some cops dragged her away. The official publicist spin is that she didn’t have her medication, but what self-respecting Hugh Hefner prodigy travels without her medicine case?

Don’t worry though, Tiffany has a way of turning life’s little tragedies (breakups, almost causing a plane crash) into inspirations for her music.

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'Playboy' Bunnies Aren't Dumb, They Just Don't Understand How Airplanes Work

Ellen DeGeneres: Runway Model?

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 10:54 AM PDT

We spoke too soon when we said Ellen DeGeneres was having the craziest week ever. After a runway appearance during New York’s Fashion Week we are officially ready to declare that the talk show host is having the most insane couple days of all time.

Ellen’s strut was enlisted by designer Richie Rich, whose metallic gender-bending fashions were displayed at New York’s Lincoln Center last night. In addition to El, the show included ballerinas and a violinist. And hey, it’s long been my opinion that all boys should dress like Ellen DeGeneres, so maybe seeing her become a fashion icon isn’t so outlandish after all.

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Ellen DeGeneres: Runway Model?

Star Shrinking: Justin Bieber Headed For Arrest?

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 10:34 AM PDT

Has anyone registered the blog "Justin Bieber in Handcuffs" yet? The young singer recently got himself into major trouble by throwing water balloons at a pair of Maryland state troopers. Justin and some friends were goofing off before a show when they decided to soak the cops. The only problem? Well, that's a felony and Bieber's bodyguard had to talk the officers out of arresting the teen idol.

So is this just an issue of "boys will be boys," or is Justin's behavior a sign of serious trouble? Celeb psychotherapist Dr. Gilda Carle describes Justin as "a child who's been thrown into the adult world of immediate gratification and instant success." She added that he's "not ready to handle this, obviously. He's regressing to being a child again to prove to everybody how unready he is."

In this light, Justin's water balloon antics can be seen as a cry for help. Dr. Gilda called the incident "much needed playtime" for JB, who's been working so hard lately he recently collapsed from exhaustion. Dr. Gilda feels Justin is overworked, after being "thrust into something he obviously wasn't ready for."

So what needs to happen next to save our young Bieber? Dr. Gilda believes Justin's parents should come in and sent some boundaries for their son. "It's a free for all now," she said. "Wherever he goes everybody is wanting him. He's forgotten what it is to get rejected and to have a bad day. And just to grow up."

Ultimately most important for Justin? "The word 'no," Dr. Gilda explained. "No has got to come into play here."

More about Dr. Gilda can be found on her site, DrGilda.com.

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Star Shrinking: Justin Bieber Headed For Arrest?

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 10:02 AM PDT

Go See Twilight: Eclipse For Free This Weekend! - In honor of Bella Swan’s (a fictional character, remember) imaginary birthday, the second Twilight film will be back on the big screens, for free! Wish theaters did this for every movie character’s birthday. (BlackBook Mag)

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Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2.7: Role Reversals

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 09:42 AM PDT

In this chapter of Jersey Shore Cliffnotes, we’ll be tackling the issue of character development, for lack of a better term. At this point in the narrative, all of our anti-heroes have made complete breaks from their previously ingrained “personas,” leaving us watching a bunch of strangers. Sadly, only Pauly D. and his lackadaisical beat-dropping remains the anchor in this storm as we try to navigate the apparent group onset of schizophrenia that has taken over the house.

Perhaps in an ironic wink to the famed he Stanford prison experiment, the roles of prisoners and guards in this asylum have completely denigrated after Sammi and JWOWW’s fight. Throughout the rest of the episode, we see continuations of such uncharacteristic behavior such as:

• Sammi’s ability to beat up JWOWW, the previously uncontested “hardcore biatch” of the house.

• Said beat-down apparently resolving any issues that she and Ronnie may have had, bringing them closer together than ever and bringing out the first smile we’ve seen from Sammi all season.

• The two queen bees of the household – JWOWW and Snooki – being exiled to their rooms while the boys cheer around the victorious Sammi.

• Vinny’s little-bitch tendencies being called on the carpet by Angelina, of all people. (And the rest of the house more or less agreeing.)

• Said corner-backing leading Vinny to drop his normally chill persona and doing the unthinkable: Using a derogatory term for women as it applies to Angelina.

• The Situation’s absolute refusal to get involved in any of the house’s drama.

And if we may backtrack for a second, please refer to your reference guide regarding the first ten minutes of the show if you find yourself confused. The events are as follows:
1. JWOWW (from the previous episode) says that Pauly is drunk while on the phone to her boyfriend.
2. Angelina overhears this, and tells the rest of the house (sans Michael, who may be hooking up with a tranny) that JWOWW is on the phone, talking trash about how drunk Pauly is.
3. Vinnie then goes back to JWOWW and reports on how Angelina was talking trash about how JWOWW was talking trash about Pauly.
4. JWOWW confronts Angelina, but is immediately blocked by Sammi, who takes Angelina’s side for no other reason than she has beef with JWOWW’s refusal to admit she wrote the letter accusing Ronnie of cheating on her.
5. JWOWW and Sammi fight, with Sammi getting one good slap/punch in.
6. Ronnie pushes Vinnie for instigating the fight between JWOWW and his girlfriend, although his original Iago-esque intention, one assumes, would to have JWOWW fight Angelina.
7. The bros make up – though now Pauly (as previously stated) has been outed for being a little tattle-tale and thinking that he is hot, when he might in fact not be as hot as he thinks he is.
8. No one comes out of this thing looking good, except for the Situation who doesn’t care; Snooki, who everyone feels a little bit sorry for; and Pauly D. for being completely clueless. Ronnie’s opportunistic tendencies to take fights that are, at the core, about his bad behavior, and turn them into a chance for him to white knight his “girlfriend” have turned him from a clueless lunkhead into a conniving douchebag. Which to be fair, is more interesting than his previous function as the household meat-head with the dumb laugh.

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Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2.7: Role Reversals

Cutegreggator: Old People in Party Hats

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 09:04 AM PDT

In honor of William Lashua, the veteran who made the internet smile, this week’s Cutegreggator is old people in party hats. If this doesn’t make you tear up, we don’t know what will.

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Cutegreggator: Old People in Party Hats

The Daily WTF: The Ugliest Shoes Ever

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 09:13 AM PDT

We understand the urge to step on Pikachu and all, but as a fashion statement? Or is this just a very elaborate Gameboy case? Either way, these gigantic yellow platforms are without a doubt the ugliest shoes we have ever seen. Plus, seriously, how the heck do you walk in them?

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The Daily WTF: The Ugliest Shoes Ever

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 08:56 AM PDT

Don’t Know College Football? You Don’t Have to – Here’s a handy guide to some of the more commonly used terms for the game so you can keep up with the boys. Remember “pigskin” refers to the actual skinned pig that the players feast on at half-time. (via CollegeCandy)

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German Communists Accidentally Give Porn Pens to Schoolkids

Posted: 10 Sep 2010 08:23 AM PDT

So here’s a cute thing: At the start of every school year German kids are given a cardboard cone filled with candy and other treats. Here’s a less cute thing: This year, a group of youngsters from the northwest part of the country found obscene pens in their little cones — and parents were understandably upset.

The pens came from the German Communist Party, whose officials claim they purchased the supplies from a discount store with no knowledge of their risque features. (At the push of a button, the pens project images of naked women — and we all know a six-year-old has never met a button he didn’t like to push.) A criminal investigation is underway and the pens have been snatched back. Well, we suppose this is one way to save on sex-ed!

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German Communists Accidentally Give Porn Pens to Schoolkids

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