Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Superficial - Because You're Ugly

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.10.11

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 02:00 PM PDT

   
Wow, this is awkward. I, uh, I don’t think Leo’s into black chicks, Bar. (Racist, I know.) But have you tried Sean Penn? He’s got money… Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring rapidly-dying Gerard Butler – No, seriously, when did he start doing heroin? – Chris Brown somehow allowed near car doors and an Read More ...

There’s a Video of Lindsay Buying Drugs

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 12:55 PM PDT

   
X17 just posted recent footage of Lindsay Lohan sitting on the street with friends inspecting Ziploc bags full of a powdery, coarse substance and then handing someone cash for said substance. So, of course, her publicist has a perfectly rational explanation for all this, and I can safely say it not only clears things up, Read More ...

Mila Kunis: ‘People Can Lose Weight If They Want To’ (I’ll Be Under My Desk)

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 11:37 AM PDT

   
If you read the comments here or generally interact with at least one to one and a half women, you know they all secretly hate each other, particularly ones more attractive than them. So I don’t see anyway Mila Kunis doesn’t die at the end of the day by being sucked into a vortex of Read More ...

Dear Los Angeles, Get Rid Of This For Me

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 10:39 AM PDT

   
While Alexander Skarsgard is on the east coast enjoying a legitimate vagina parade – And trust me, ladies, my heart also aches over today’s lack of Swedish Fuckinator shots. – here’s a not-ironically shirtless The Situation in Los Angeles where he genuinely believes he’s going to make it because MTV reality stars always go on Read More ...

Kim Kardashian Has Leprosy

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 09:36 AM PDT

   
Granted, I already know Kim Kardashian has psoriasis because she made it a point to announce it in a PR campaign, I think it’s important to make sure we come up with our own theories to muddy the waters of reality until no one knows what the truth is anymore. Sort of like how she Read More ...

Erin Heatherton in a Bikini and Other News

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 09:35 AM PDT

   
Posted by Photo Boy - Bruce Willis never saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. That’s how I read this. - Jeremy Irons thinks that groping is a great way to say hello. - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes blew off Xenu’s party for a Katy Perry concert. They will be haunted by a thousand Read More ...

So Reese Witherspoon Isn’t Pregnant

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 08:57 AM PDT

   
But her sister is! /chunk Last month I made Reese Witherspoon’s uterus my beat and was determined to prove she had a baby in there to the point where I was getting estimates on portable ultrasounds and chloroform. Anyway, here she is jogging – Probably because she starts each day with The Superficial like all of Read More ...

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux Are Trying For A Baby

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 08:12 AM PDT

   
“So, listen, don’t be mad, just hear me out: When I stick my penis in you, it turns into an icicle. Just curious how that’s going to work out- and you’re mad. You’re mad, aren’t you? Fuck it, you want to be like this? We’re snatching children. I said it.” Pretty much what I said in Read More ...

Alessandra Ambrosio in a Bikini Says ‘Good Morning’

Posted: 10 Aug 2011 05:00 AM PDT

   
“OHMYGAHD, I can see her tits.” After subjecting you to Maria Shriver’s clawgina and the bronzed face of our destruction, the least I can do is start the day with Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini. So here she is in Maui where apparently she and her daughter like to play a little game where they reenact Read More ...
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