Friday, January 28, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

NBC Takes Peacock Out Of Logo, Is Totally Fixed Now

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 09:14 AM PST

NBC, which has struggled very badly for the better part of the last decade solely because it has a styled peacock in its logo, has fixed that problem and removed the peacock, improving it to perfect:

Old Logo:

New Logo:

Nothing like some text in the middle of a huge 90s-purple rectangle to turn around the fortunes of a failing network. “I’d watch that purple thing!!!” – Men Aged 18-45.

STEP 2: Changing the logo again in 6 months when nothing is in any way different. I propose this:

Tracy Morgan Calls Sarah Palin “Serious Masturbation Material”

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 08:03 AM PST

Tracy Morgan stopped by TNT’s coverage of the Knicks/Heat game last night to help settle an argument between the analysts about Tina Fey vs. Sarah Palin. Not sure exactly what TNT was expecting when they invited Tracy Morgan on the air live and lobbed him a sex question, but he wasn’t about to not instantly talk about masturbation:

The more we see Tracy Morgan make personal appearances, the more clear it becomes that 30 Rock is, in fact, an unscripted nonfiction reality show. If the show goes off the air, at least he knows he can always fall back on TNT: We know drama, but not that certain guests given the opportunity will instantly mention jerking off.

(via @FreeDarko)

Spider-Man Battles Vampire Morgan Freeman On 70s PBS Show

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 12:11 AM PST

Here’s a clip from an episode of the 70s PBS kids show The Electric Company, in which a Spider-Man battles Dracula to stop him from feasting on the blood of a movie patron and welcoming her to his eternal army of the undead. The clip boasts roughly the same high budget as Alton Brown’s Good Eats, and also Morgan Freeman is Dracula. Just watch, everything about this is well-made and great.

I’ll never forget the day I couldn’t get out of that sh*tty rope prop…

(via io9)

Hockey Arena Plays Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out Music During Fight

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 01:38 PM PST

A fight broke out in last night’s Dallas/Edmonton NHL game between Krys Barch of the Stars and Zack Stortini of the Oilers, which isn’t particularly noteworthy in itself, but listen to the fight music playing over the Dallas arena speakers:

Looks like Barch was on a roll with the star-punches but misjudged how much life Stortini had left and couldn’t knock him down, then just ran out of hearts. Stars coach Marc Crawford tried to encourage him by yelling “Join the Nintendo Fun Club!” but it only restored a tiny bit of energy when he hit select.

For the record, playing the Punch-Out music isn’t a new thing at the American Airlines Arena, but it’s gone from being an occasional novelty to being the team’s standard fight music of choice, probably thanks to nostalgic, in-the-know jerky nerds like us.

Speaking of jerky nerds, why is the Punch-Out TRAINING music playing during the fight? It should be the fighting music. I mean, crap, I’m all for NES Easter egg music cues but let’s straighten out our details here. If someone gets an Icing call, would you play the music from FIRE MAN’S level in Mega Man 1? I don’t think so.

(via Empty Netters)

GUESS THE CELEB: Nice Boots, D*ck

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 01:16 PM PST

This comely young performer was spotted avoiding the dreaded “snow foot” in a pair of sexy knee high rubber Hunter wellies. Those shapely calves, that dainty step… whoever could it be???

Click ahead to find out.

Who else? Gossip Girl star and pretty much confirmed assh*le Ed Westwick. The only excuse for a man to be in those boots is if you’re the Gorton’s Fisherman. That’s it. Though good on him for the slim calves. Taken with those sweatpants he’s wearing, it’s no easy feet (ha) to get that all tucked in there.

[Photos: Splash News]

Baby Tiger Day Continues At “Best Week Ever”

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 01:09 PM PST

Earlier today, I brought you a photo of me posing with what was touted as a “baby tiger.” But let’s face it. That tiger was not a baby at all. It was 6 months old, more of a tiger tween really, and could easily have ripped my face off. But above, we have an actual tiger baby, one who I would have no hesitation in breast feeding. (Did I just say that out loud? No, I screamed that out loud.) Newbie Sumatran baby tigies born in Indonesies.

Click ahead for photo of the most tenderest of fresh baby cat paws that I would like to dip in buffalo sauce and consume.

I wonder what tigers thing about when they look in the mirror.

[Photos: Splash News]

Meet The Worst, Most Genius American Idol Audition

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 12:18 PM PST

Beloved internet personality Randy Rainbow recently took one for the team, buffing his priciest tap shoes and throat coat tea-ing the sh*t out of his vocal chords in order to audition for American Idol in front of brand new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler . And, do we even need to tell you? HE NAILS IT. J-Lo cries. Randy Jackson’s goatee grows another .00001 millimeters. Steven Tyler lifts up his skirt to reveal he’s Janice Dickinson. It’s beyond genius.

Just take our friendly advice and watch this.

Model Dude Looks Like A Model Lady

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 11:42 AM PST

Meet Andrej Pejic. Serbian, 19, supermodel, muse of Jean Paul Gaultier. Also, to use my favorite quote of Michelle’s, “Y’ALL HE A MAN.”

A beautiful, beautiful man. More beautiful than any woman. (Sort of). Not to state the obvious, but he is at the forefront of the androgynous model trend happening right now. His androgyny is enhanced by make up, women’s clothes and long flowing blonde locks, but still. Basically, I am SUPER confused, in that he is gorgeous, but in a lady way, but I know that he’s a dude, so am I sort of attracted to him? I DON’T KNOW. But probably the most disturbing portion of that is that he is 19. So I’ll amend that previous statement to “YA’LL HE BARELY A MAN!”

According to his Model Profile in New York Magazine, his interests include: reading Karl Marx and politics! Fun! More photos of Andrej after the jump.

Thanks, UK Daily Mail, for reverting me back to 7th grade levels of sexual confusion

Baby Tiger Is All It Takes To Get Me To Vegas

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 11:29 AM PST

This weekend, I received a call from my friend and colleague Jenna Ennis (pictured below, right), asking me if I had any interest in going to Las Vegas for a couple of days. And I was like “Wellllll IIIIIII” and then she said “TO MEET A BABY TIGER.” Cut to me jumping out of an airplane over the Vegas strip while simultaneously sobbing from happiness.

Next thing I know, I found myself wearing 4 inch heels at the Nivea for Men Lounge in The Palms Hotel and Casino (Maloof!), surrounded by other tiger enthusiasts and many bottles of alcohol. And do you know what goes great with tipsy people in clubwear? Baby carnivores!!

So now, without further ado, I would like to present photographic evidence of my meeting a baby tiger. Take a look and then let’s discuss:

YES. There he is, a gigantic 6 month old tiger, more of a “tween” than a baby really, gnawing on his trainers arm as I place one delicately bejeweled hand on my thigh to prevent any embarrassing exposure, and the other on the back of the tiger, whose aroma can only be described as “zoo-like.”

Oh, and for those of you wondering about the brave man attached to the other end of that arm…

We didn’t want to leave him out. He was like the Javier Bardem of tiger wranglers.

Now, I know what you’re asking yourselves*: “Wait a minute, Michelle, haven’t you met a baby tiger before?” Well, you are half right and also a genius. It was a baby LION, courtesy of Dave Salmoni, and I actually got to hold it up in the air Lion King style:

So thanks to Nivea for Men for making my dreams come true (again). Every time I smell zoo and booze on my hands, I’ll think of this fantastic day.

*No one is asking this.

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Will Ferrell Joins The Office, May Murder Steve Carell With Trident

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 11:11 AM PST

Will Ferrell has joined the cast of The Office for a multi-episode arc that may be related to the departure of the Michael Scott character later this season. Producer Paul Lieberstein (Toby) explains:

"We found Steve Carell when he was nothing but a movie star and we turned him into a television star. We are proud to continue The Office's tradition of discovering famous talent, and we hope that once America gets a good look at Will, they'll see what we see, tremendous raw sexuality."

Between this news and last week’s solid episode, maybe Steve Carell’s exit season won’t feel as “jump the sharky” as the mediocre first half of the season led on? Plus The Office has stepped it up for the last couple ends of seasons, so things may be looking up for NBC’s new three-hour “Guaranteed Make You Fall Behind On At Least One Show You Enjoy” Thursdays.

Perhaps this news finally solves the mystery of how to let Steve Carell leave the show: Ferrell’s character murders him with a trident. I think we all saw that coming.

Finally, The Defenders Backstory We’ve All Been Waiting For!!!

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 10:13 AM PST

If you’re anything like me, you probably put all your rotten groceries in the freezer til garbage day so that they don’t stink up the kitchen. Relatedly, you probably also LOVE the show The Defenders*, which, as described on its surprisingly thorough Wiki page:

Set in Las Vegas, Nevada, this version involves a pair of defense attorneys who go all out to help their clients, while keeping their personal lives in order. The show is loosely based on real life Vegas lawyers, Michael Cristalli and Marc Saggese.*

The show stars the Abbott and Costello of the new Millennies, Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell, a twosome who apparently shook hands with the devil for the following exchange: We’ll give you your own CBS show if you star in a super low budget local Las Vegas commercial for the law firm of Cristalli & Saggese. Then someone broke a plate, the ouzo was brought out, and the rest is history in HELL.

Here is that ad, starring the real life attorneys The Defenders is based on. Saggese could get it, but Cristalli was horribly miscast. Poor guy. He got Belushi’d.

*I have never seen The Defenders.
*See? I had to copy and past the Wikipedia description of the show because I seriously have absolutely no idea what The Defenders is about.

AD WIZARDS: It’s Angel Milkman Vs. Devil Milkman In The Battle For Tru Moo

Posted: 27 Jan 2011 12:52 PM PST

@PFTompkins directs us east coasters to the following regional commercial for Tru Moo chocolate milk, in which an angel and devil milkman debate the Truness of a particular chocolate milk brand for a mom who’s all like “Milk? I don’t knowwww…”

No kid has been this excited about milk since around 1915, when milk was literally an X-Box. But I do love that the angel milkman keeps teleporting around, and that the devil one (who’s really just a chubbier milkman in a red milk suit) seems completely reasonable and easygoing:

The Devil Milkman really wants to be bad and take the boy’s milksoul but he just can’t – the Moo’s too Tru:
Brought to you by: at

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