Cele|bitchy

Hot Guy Friday: Of Biscuits and Men
Jim Parsons’ boyfriend called off their wedding because Jim doesn’t want kids
Sophie Monk confesses to her terrible plastic surgery, love of sugar daddies
Charlie Sheen busted his hernia during a coked-out critique of porn
Rachel Zoe claims her pregnancy cravings include strawberries & grapefruit
Kim “Katface” Kardashian claims her boobs are real: do you believe her?
Is Ryan Phillippe already bored with Amanda Seyfried?
Enquirer: Kate Middleton wants to scandalize Britain with a commoner’s kiss
Jude Law is pissed at Robert Downey Jr.’s support of Mel Gibson
Angie Harmon’s bust: enhanced or just a bustier?

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 08:49 AM PST

Pierce Brosnan. Pierce is just about equal to Clive Owen as the kind of man I want whispering in my ear. And yet Pierce is largely forgotten, left un-requested on our weekly Hot Guy dong-athons. Why is that? Is it because we don't want our lady parts (and gentleman parts, as men are welcomed here) tended to by such a lovely man as Pierce? He doesn't seem like a dirty bastard, for better or for worse. Pierce is the kind of man you marry. He's not the kind of man you have dirty, anonymous sex with in a hotel. You would have to marry him, and then have dirty sex with him in a hotel. By the way, thank you so much for the positive feedback on Pierce - I love the guy, and I want to feature him more often on our Dongapalooza.

James McAvoy. I honestly forget if I've done James recently (*rimshot*), so here he is again. I was just thinking about him. Because he's lovely, and I like to check in with my non-Gerard Butler Scottish dongs.

Godfrey Gao (or Gao Yi Xiang). A request, and whoever requested him owes me a thank you - I had to look for a long time for these images. Gao's been getting a lot of press recently because he's the first Asian model ever used for Louis Vuitton - he's in ads for man-purses. He's Taiwanese, he's 26 years old and he was born in Vancouver. Oh, and he's huge too - he's apparently very, very tall for a model at 6 foot 4. He's very sexy, but I don't like the scraggly beard stuff. If it's going to grow in that scruffy, just be clean-shaven, you know?

Naveen Andrews. I just love him. I know he's a sketchball and I know he has some baby-daddy drama. His on-again thing with Barbara Hershey is weird in a lot of ways, and he's never going to be the dude from The English Patient in real life. He's not even going to be Sayeed from Lost in real life. But I still love him. He's sexy as hell, and an underrated actor.

Gaspard Ulliel. I tossed up some photos of Gaspard earlier this week when he attended the Chanel show during Paris Fashion Week, and you bitches were all over him. STEP OFF, sluts. No, there’s enough Gaspard (”Gaspy”) for all of us. Gaspard is tight with Karl Lagerfeld, and Gaspard is "the face" of something Chanel (Bleu?). He was also the young Hannibal Lector in Hannibal Rising, which if you haven't seen yet… is actually pretty good. The book is good too. Back to Gaspard: so pretty. But it's an unconventional pretty, which I enjoy. He's not some interchangeable beefcake. He is unique French beefcake.

Jesse L. Martin. Best known for his stints on Broadway, and for playing Det. Ed Green on Law & Order for many, many years. Jesse has a beautiful smile, an easy-going personality, and I know of no drama in his personal life. Maybe there is, and he keeps his junk tight. Maybe he's just as nice as I imagine. Because I do spend a lot of time imagining how he's going to fall in love with me when we meet. Can you blame me? Oh, and he's a Virginia boy too. We grow 'em real good in Virginia (not really, Jesse is the exception!).

Damian Lewis. By request, although it's really not necessary - Damian is one of my favorites, and he's probably my favorite male ginger. I love him even more than Prince Harry. Damian is just THAT amazing. Band of Brothers and Life are enough to get him on my Forever Dong List. Sigh… I love gingers.

Chad Ochocinco (By CB) This muscled wide receiver entered our collective fantasies when he competed on Dancing with The Stars last year. We swooned over his moves and questioned his motivation when he showered dance partner Cheryl Burke with jewelry and praise. Then he predictably earned his own dating reality show on VH1. Whether that ruins him for you or not, it can still make your heart race to stare at him.

Jason Statham (By CB) We do this dude on HGF about once a month - I just checked our archives. There’s a very good, deep, meaningful, powerful, commanding, rhythmic reason… what was I saying? Oh yeah, we get a lot of requests for him. I have no idea why. Look at these recent photos of Statham. He’s f*cking you with his eyes, and making you imagine that stubble creating a red contact rash along the insides of your thighs. A rash you won’t notice for several days afterwards. He’s putting it on a little thick here. Thick being the operative word. Check out his hands.

Vincent Cassel. He didn't get an Oscar nomination this week (for Black Swan, in which he was pretty good), so he gets the "consolation prize" of being our Dong Dessert of the week.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, Vogue, The Telegraph, New York Magazine, Vanity Fair, GQ, The Berry, GQ UK, Vogue, Vogue Italia, Details, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

Jim Parsons’ boyfriend called off their wedding because Jim doesn’t want kids

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 08:45 AM PST

Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory is having a great run at awards ceremonies. He won the Emmy and he’s fresh off a win at the Golden Globes. Life is a bit bumpier in his private life. According to National Enquirer, Jim’s fiancé Todd Spiewak called off their wedding because Jim doesn’t want kids.

The wedding is off for Big Bang Theory star Jim Parsons!

The actor’s fiance, Todd Spiewak, put the brakes on their marriage plans after the couple disagreed on whether to adopt children.

“Jim and Todd have been together for quite a while, but never really talked kids. Todd always assumed that Jim wanted to have a family,” stated a friend of the couple.

“Jim recently made a joke about how he couldn’t handle being around children, and when Todd asked him about having kids together, Jim said ‘no way.’ Todd was heartbroken. They both love each other very much and are still living together, but their relationship is shaken up right now.”

…Jim, 37, proposed to 33-year-old Todd, an art director, and the two had been planning a Christmas wedding in Massachusetts, where gay marriage is legal. Those plans unraveled before the holidays when the men began serious discussions about starting a family.

However, in recent weeks Jim has started to reconsider his “no-kids” policy, says the friend.

“Jim loves Todd deeply and can’t imagine life without him, so he’s seriously rethinking his view on children. For now, everything is on hold.”

[National Enquirer, print edition, February 7, 2011]

Having or not having kids is a big deal in a relationship. With Neil Patrick Harris and Elton John both having children through surrogate mothers, Jim may lessen his view on not having kids. But it’s definitely something he and Todd should decide before getting married.

Don’t expect to see Jim and Todd at this Sunday’s SAG Awards. The Big Bang Theory was shut out of any nominations.

The Big Bang Theory airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on CBS.

Note by Kaiser: In the photos below, I’m pretty sure that Jim’s boyfriend is the dude walking behind him!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Sophie Monk confesses to her terrible plastic surgery, love of sugar daddies

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 08:19 AM PST

The other day, I made the Sophie-Monk-engagement story the lead link, thinking that barely anyone would care. Well, you did care! And how. So Sophie is 31 years old, and she's now engaged to a 51 year old "businessman" that she's only "dated" for three months. I called him a sugar daddy the other day, but that was me just being a HATER. Sophie has given a new interview to an Australian publication where she says that she knows that people are going to hate on her love match, but she doesn't care. She also talks about all of the plastic surgery she's had:

Sophie Monk has a regret or two when it comes to her looks — revealing that she wishes she had opted to stay natural and not bow to pressure to undergo plastic surgery.

The beautiful 31-year-old Australian is believed to have had botox, collagen injections and a breast enlargement in her bid to make it big in the US – something she now regrets.

“I should have said no, but I trusted the doctor,” she said to Australia's Who magazine.

She also talked about her battle with weight: “The stress of this business tends to come out through my body. Either I eat too much or I eat nothing. I need to be more responsible for my body,” she said.

Monk once dated a plastic surgeon, Dr. John Diaz, as well as Ryan Seacrest and Benji Madden, but is now engaged to American businessman Jimmy Esebag, who is 20 years her senior.

The couple have been friends for years but started dating only three months ago — and the model says she couldn't be happier.

“I’ve never had someone balance me out in a relationship before. They’ve either been workaholics too, or I needed to make the money for them,” she said. “With Jimmy, I just love everything about him. I know people are going to make remarks about us, but it doesn’t bother me. Jimmy is worldly and smart and I want to be with someone I can learn from. I love everything about him. He’s given me a new perspective on life.”

[From Radar]

Wow, Ryan Seacrest, some dude who once dated Paris Hilton, a plastic surgeon who screwed up her face, and now a "bidnessman"? Sophie has truly appalling taste in men.

As far as the plastic surgery confession - if she has so many regrets, why is her face still so jacked with Botox? Seriously, she looks like a wax figure. Or a blonde Kardashian.

Here are some more pics of Sophie with her sugar daddy. Does anyone else think he looks like a creepy, mobbed-up version of Ciaran Hinds?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Charlie Sheen busted his hernia during a coked-out critique of porn

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 07:46 AM PST

There are like 20 million updates and different pieces of information regarding Charlie Sheen this morning, so maybe it will go faster if I just do it in bullet points:

*After being "rushed" to Cedars-Sinai yesterday morning, Charlie Sheen was evidently released (??) last night, according to TMZ and Extra.

*Charlie's friend Steve Brodersen gave an interview to Extra claiming that Charlie injured his hernia when he… no joke… "laughed too hard at the TV." Steve also says no drugs were involved.

*TMZ agrees with the part about Charlie "watching" something when his hernia ruptured or whatever. According to their (porn) sources, Charlie was up sitting up in his TV/theatre room for hours, watching porn, smoking cocaine and critiquing the porn that he watched. This went on for, like, 36 hours. According to one porn star's eyewitness account to TMZ who was there, "They watched 3 hours of porn, as Charlie critiqued the action on the screen. We’re told Charlie, who fancies himself as a porn connoisseur, was questioning his companion about angles and body shots. We’re told the porn star was “surprised” by the depth of Charlie’s knowledge.”

*Charlie wants to create a porn family. As in, he wants to set up like four or five porn star girls in a sublet mansion and they can all be family.

*TMZ's sources are saying Charlie plans to be at work on Tuesday, and that there is no rehab planned.

* People Magazine is not living in the ass of Charlie's publicist. They have a detailed and sympathetic account of Charlie's downfall, but they aren't buying the official statements about his lack of drug use. According to the anonymous friend of Charlie's, “He definitely did not OD but, yes, he was partying. He doesn’t think he’s going to die. He doesn’t want to stop. In his eyes, he thinks, ‘I’m having fun, so what? I’m making $2 million a week, the show has the best ratings, I show up for up work. What’s the problem?’ He’s got so many people saying they’re concerned and they have the power to help him but you can’t force things on someone, you can’t make him get help. He loves the attention, he loves to shock people, he loves that he gets away with all of this. And he can because there are no consequences – that’s the problem. It’s who he is, like it or leave it. Maybe at 22, you’re with five hookers, so what? But when you’re his age and a father, it’s just ridiculous.”

*Another friend: “He’s in serious condition. Doctors are still trying to figure out exactly what it was. They’re running a lot of blood tests. … The crazy thing is, he’ll probably be just fine. It’s part of why he doesn’t see the problem. People are rallying around him to intervene. Everyone is very concerned for him at this point. It’s a really scary situation. Nobody is surprised. This is an ongoing problem.”

*Radar reports that Martin Sheen wants Charlie in rehab. A source says: "Martin is extremely upset as you can imagine. He's worried Charlie is going to kill himself. Martin has jumped in before when things got really bad with Charlie and even told a judge that Charlie needed rehab. He's not afraid to speak his mind."

And that's all I've got.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Rachel Zoe claims her pregnancy cravings include strawberries & grapefruit

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 07:13 AM PST

These are photos from last night's "Women In Television" event, sponsored by Elle Magazine. Let's start with Rachel Zoe who, at this point, is around eight months pregnant, I think. She's only just started looking pregnant. Maybe she's just carrying really small. Or maybe she's still not eating. Who knows? Us Weekly had some behind-the-scenes details about the event, and Rachel claimed that her cravings were not for chocolate-covered pickle waffles. No, Rachel likes fruit: "I really enjoy things that are tart, like strawberries and grapefruit. Sour things like that, but nothing really weird.” Oh, and somewhere along the line it was confirmed that she's having a boy. Rachel also said: “I think just the whole experience of it all, from what I understand, being a mother and even just from being an aunt, it’s the greatest thing that ever happens.”

Next up - Sofia Vergara. When I first glanced at the photos of her, I thought it was Jessica Biel. That's not good for Sophia. But I like her dress!

Little Kiernan Shipka, from Mad Men! She's so incredibly adorable. And this is exactly what little girls should wear when they dress up. Perfect.

Jennifer Morrison looks okay. I'm not a fan of hers, but I like that she doesn't feel the need to walk every red carpet out there (coughcoughOliviaWildecough). The dress is simple and pretty.

Erika Christensen. Eh. I think the dress is unflattering.

I adore Mindy Kaling. I think she's funny and cool and brilliant. I just wished she dressed better.

Paz de la Huerta. Hot mess.

Photos courtesy of PR Photos.

Kim “Katface” Kardashian claims her boobs are real: do you believe her?

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 06:36 AM PST

There's even more from Kim Kardashian and Kourtney's appearance on Piers Morgan! Bless them. Apparently, Kim totally denied that her boobs are fake. Because that's what we were all wondering about, right? Not her Krazy Kat Face, not her jacked lips, not those ass implants, not the nose job. We were all focused on her tits. Right? In KatFace's defense, her boobs could totally be real. I'm not completely convinced that they're fake. Sure, I think they look suspiciously perky and eerily "round" for natural boobs. But I also think that she has the "great big knockers" gene. It's a gift and a curse, let me tell you.

They’re real — and they’re fabulous. That’s the message Kim Kardashian wants to get off her, well, chest during a Thursday appearance on Piers Morgan Tonight with older sis Kourtney, 31.

“There’s a lot of plastic surgery rumors that swirl and I’m the first one to be super honest,” says the Kourtney and Kim Take New York star, 30, who admits to trying Botox. “And so everyone was talking about that, saying that they must be, you know, fake.”

The truth? “They are real,” says Kim, in the video above. “They are completely 100 percent real.”

And when host Piers Morgan tells the reality star, “You just look like you must have had [surgery],” she responds, “That’s what Spanx and masking tape are for.”

However the eldest Kardashian — and mom to son Mason, 13 months — had a more permanent solution for her bust.

“These babies are not real,” she laughs while pointing at a cardboard cutout of herself. “I used to make fun of [Kim] when we were little and then I went and got surgery.”

[From Us Weekly]

"That’s what Spanx and masking tape are for.” Hahahaha NO. THIS is not the result of masking tape and Spanx, unless they're making a brand of Botox called "Spanx" now. I mean… come on, Kim. I want to think that she's relatively harmless, and then she goes and lies about something so friggin' obvious. Or is it just me? Is all of this natural? Note: none of these photos I'm using as "evidence" are wax figures.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Kim's Twitter feed.

Is Ryan Phillippe already bored with Amanda Seyfried?

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 06:29 AM PST

Sometimes a post just comes together. Like, there will be new photos to go with an interesting piece in one of the tabloids, plus another little tabloid report online, and all of it fits together so well. Such is the case with this story - these are new photos of Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe out and about in LA yesterday. Ryan and Amanda have been dating for three months - they first got together on Halloween (we think). So, it's come for the moment when tabloids start gushing about how it's true love and how he's considering a proposal, all of that jazz. There are several things wrong about this relationship though: first of all, Amanda is an in-demand, cusp-of-A-lister, one of the hardest working of her peers. Ryan is a dude in his mid-30s whose latest career move was MacGruber. So… Amanda is in need of an upgrade, boyfriend-wise. Beyond that, the only thing wrong with Amanda and Ryan is how boring they've been for three months. There are no scandals around them. It's rough (for me)!

Ryan Phillippe may have earned a bad-boy rep, partying throughout his marriage to Reese Witherspoon, but three months into his romance with Amanda Seyfried, the actor is decidedly low-key.

"They spend a lot of time at his house, just watching films and making food together," a source tells Us Weekly of Phillippe, 36, and Seyfried, 25.

"They've settled into a comfortable routine already."

Next step for Seyfried? Getting to know his two kids with Witherspoon, Ava and Deacon. Meanwhile, "he's totally charmed her," the source says of the actor, who visits Seyfried on the set of Now, her thriller with Justin Timberlake. "It's nice they're in such a happy place."

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

So… they're just a boring couple doing boring-couple things. Sounds nice and pleasant. But wait, is that really who Ryan is? Just a dude who gets to bone a 25 year old blonde within a boring relationship? Of course not! Ryan's wandering eye is famous. And this morning, People Magazine had this interesting little piece:

The usually reserved Leonardo DiCaprio was pretty animated during his night out at Trousdale in L.A. There with a group of buddies, including Chace Crawford and Sebastian Stan, the actor puffed on a cigar and danced along to the music, lighting up especially when Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair” was played. At the next table: Ryan Phillippe, who was surrounded with his group of friends.

[From People]

Okay, beyond Leo whipping his hair (hilarious), the bit about Ryan caught my eye. So… he was at a hot club with his bros. I'm not saying he shouldn't be allowed some guy-time. But it certainly feels like he was trolling for club strange, right? Also: Haha, Leo didn't want to hang with Ryan. Men can be such bitches.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Enquirer: Kate Middleton wants to scandalize Britain with a commoner’s kiss

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 06:13 AM PST

Ever since I saw Four Weddings and a Funeral, I honestly thought that ALL British weddings did not have any kissing during the ceremony. Is that true? Or is the kissing ban only in effect for the upper-crust? Or only those marrying in the Church of England? Or is it a personal call every couple gets to make? I have no idea, but you British bitches are welcome to school me.

Anyway, Mike Walker at the Enquirer claims that Kate Middleton is flashing her commoner etiquette and trying to get William to kiss her during their nuptials. Even if some British couples choose to kiss during their weddings, I don't think it's EVER happened during a royal wedding. Royal weddings are for memorizing those long-ass royal names. The post-ceremony Palace balcony photo-op is for the kiss. But Kate Middleton is so very common, so she really wants the world to see her makeout with her new husband.

Kate Middleton has dreamed up a romantic wedding day surprise that will thrill the world but absolutely scandalize Prince William's stuffy Granny (The Queen), who has expressly forbidden his swoony bride's daring plan to plant a kiss on her gallant groom's lips right after the "I do".

Kate went into meltdown when Will initially nixed breaking royal tradition that does not permit a common kiss at the altar, says My London Spy, then pleaded her case with a top Westminster Abbey adviser, but was told: "Impossible! It's just not done. This is the Church of England! The Queen will NEVER allow it! If you must, you can kiss the Prince later… on a Palace balcony."

Teary-eyed Kate wailed to Princey-poo: "I've always dreamed of getting kissed at my wedding. I've waited years for this big day! It's not fair. Do something!"

So off Wills trudged to Granny - who quickly went all Queen Bee on his butt: "A kiss? That is not how it's done! We are not like everyone else."

Frustrated, feisty Kate's still trying to persuade the Prince to buck bloody protocol, pucker up and plant a post- "I do" smooch smack on her kisser!

Kate told a confidante: "What can they do? Annul the marriage? I don't think so. And the people will love it."

[From Mike Walker's column, The National Enquirer, print edition]

Yeah, this didn't happen. Kate is not forcing any issue with William, ever. She's like a geisha. Compliant, not aggressive, not pushy. I could see her bringing the idea up - "What if we broke from tradition and had a little peck?" - but if she was told "no" by William and the Queen, Kate wouldn't push it. But it would be nice to see them kiss during the ceremony. I'm not a gushy, frilly, wedding-y person, but I like the "You may now kiss the bride" line. I like the idea that a two people's first act as a married couple is to embrace and seal their vows with a kiss. *wipes bitchy, sentimental tear away*

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Jude Law is pissed at Robert Downey Jr.’s support of Mel Gibson

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 05:46 AM PST

Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. famously became BFFs during the filming of the first Sherlock Holmes movie. The two are currently working on the sequel, and according to the Enquirer, there are some strains in the friendship. One particular string, specifically: Mel Gibson. RDJ notably refused to say anything critical about Mel Gibson over the past year of "glum c-nt" bombs and revelations about beatings. RDJ's history with Mel is well known - back when RDJ was really drugged out, Mel gave him a job, and when RDJ first became clean for the last and final time but still found himself uninsurable, Mel once again got him work. I believe Mel always supported RDJ's recovery and encouraged his sobriety on a personal level as well as a professional level, and RDJ still feels that he owes Mel a great debt. BUT - Jude Law thinks it's high time that RDJ cut his ties to Mel, and that the time for honoring one's debt to another man ends when that man is telling his girlfriend that he's going to bury her in the rose garden.

Tensions are running high between former friends Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. during the filming of Sherlock Holmes 2 - and it's all Mel Gibson's fault!

RDJ has remained friends with Mel, and he's publicly supported Mel over the last year, and "that's not sitting well with Jude. Robert and Mel talk nearly every day, and Jude just can't get his head around it," said a source.

"Jude thinks what Mel did to Oksana was appalling, and he doesn't think Hollywood should be supporting someone who's behaved that way. In Jude's mind, Mel's reputation is also tarnished for his disgraceful behaviors beyond Oksana - his anti-Semitism, sexism, aggression and his drinking problem. Jude thinks he's been given enough second chances, and it annoys him that RDJ has allegiances to him."

Sadly, Mel has come between Robert and Jude.

"They share the same sense of humor and really enjoyed hanging out together… now they barely talk between scenes."

[From The National Enquirer, print edition]

A few weeks ago, I saw an Entertainment Tonight exclusive, on the set with Jude and RDJ… and they didn't seem as tight and bromantic as they once did. Is it because of Mel? Or do they just have other crap going on?

Also - I'm not saying Jude is anywhere near Mel Gibson as far being a nasty bastard, but Jude does have some crap in his past and his life that is sketchy too. I mean… Jude shouldn't be so judgy. So RDJ won't bail on a man who stood by him throughout the years - what's it to Jude?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Angie Harmon’s bust: enhanced or just a bustier?

Posted: 28 Jan 2011 05:45 AM PST

Last night, People Magazine threw an event for "A Night of Red Carpet Style". Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, several B-listers came out and enjoyed themselves, and these are some of the photos from the event. I was going to lead off with Jennifer Love Hewitt, but then I saw Angie Harmon's boobs. Um… did she always have those? No! She's always been pretty small-chested, correct? She's got one of those amazing, athletic, lean figures but she's never had much in the Boob Department. Is it a boob job, or just some really great bustier-type action? My investigation leads me to "bustier" - they don't really look fake to me.

Next up - Jennifer Love Hewitt. Hate beige on her, hate the cut of the dress. The whole thing is pretty fug, but at least she doesn't look like she's going to her junior prom.

Sarah Shahi - best known as the chick from Life and the new USA series Fairly Legal. I'll admit, I love this girl. I think she's beautiful, and I love that she got another television series. But I HATE the bangs trauma on her - she looks so pretty without it. Also, she either got too much sun or she's drunk off her ass.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Cele|bitchy

Cele|bitchy

No comments:

Post a Comment