Best Week Ever |
- D*ck Moves: Guy Asks For Yin-Yang Tattoo On Back, Gets Penis Tattoo Instead.
- Paul The Octopus Dies, Predicts Internet Mourning
- What Did You Get Elton John And David Furnish For Their Civil Partnership?
- NFL WEEK 7 RECAP: Ben Roethlisberger Is Looking Happy, Scary
- The 40 Best Doggy Halloween Costumes
- Men’s Wearhouse CEO Likes Pot: We Guarantee It
- Snooki Attempts 3 Halloween Costumes
- Saturday Night Live Power Rankings: Say Hello To Paul Brittain, Everyone!
- HICCUP GIRL SNAPS; HICCUPS; KILLS
- The 10 Nerdiest Signs At The New Zealand “Hobbit” Rally
| D*ck Moves: Guy Asks For Yin-Yang Tattoo On Back, Gets Penis Tattoo Instead. Posted: 26 Oct 2010 09:00 AM PDT  This is not the tattoo he received
OK. First, I’ve figured out what I’m going to be for Halloween, and it’s an amateur tattoo artist. Because that is quite literally the scariest thing I can think of (at this moment, right after reading this article). Second, what a psycho joke. That is insane. And not so much a joke as I’m glad he got arrested and My God. I know things are a bit more extreme in Australia with your Fosters and your Dundees and your reverse Coriolis Effects, but calm down, Amateur Tattoo Artist Aussies. Third, I’m very sorry that you got a penis tattooed on your back, Victim, but COME ON. You didn’t want a tattoo at first? Why, because you think it’s hard to come up with a symbol that is original and means something to you? Good thing you stumbled upon a Yin-Yang design surrounded by dragons. Also, let’s hope you learned the “stick to your guns” lesson on this one. How convincing was this amateur tattooist? So convincing, apparently! Finally, I guess he must’ve been really drunk or something because I would think, I mean, I don’t know, but I would assume that you could discern the difference between the feel of drawing a circle on your back and a 16 inch penis. I don’t know though, haven’t experienced it. He might have also noticed his “friend” laughing throughout the entire process. Gosh, it’s awful. Just awful all around. Good news is, he doesn’t have a Yin-Yang symbol on his back. How embarrassing. |
| Paul The Octopus Dies, Predicts Internet Mourning Posted: 26 Oct 2010 08:10 AM PDT
Paul The Octopus, the famous Berlin Aquarium resident who correctly
Great. Now who’s gonna predict World Cup matches in 2014? A starfish of some sort? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. They don’t even know the rules of the game and can barely speak German. Below, one final farewell sign:
It’s actually a Dutch fan’s sign from before the World Cup Final, but it’s funnier to imagine someone was really angrily walking around with it today. |
| What Did You Get Elton John And David Furnish For Their Civil Partnership? Posted: 26 Oct 2010 07:51 AM PDT
Elton gave an interview to the Telegraph, which reports:
Has he explicitly come out in support of gay marriage, or did he give them two diamond-encrusted cock-rings? Because I think there’s a slight difference. However. I LIKE it. It’s funny, but it’s also sort of dick. I mean, it’s literally dick, but also metaphorically dick. Sort of like Eminem. He really kept true to himself with those diamond-encrusted cock-ring gifts. Also, can you use those? Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out myself. P.S., After writing “encrusted” so many times just now, it occurs to me that the word is never good, even when it involves diamonds. |
| NFL WEEK 7 RECAP: Ben Roethlisberger Is Looking Happy, Scary Posted: 25 Oct 2010 03:39 PM PDT Your weekly NFL Recap, in the form of stupid pictures: Steelers 23, Dolphins 22 Fewer sights in football are as legitimately terrifying as Ben Roethlisberger’s touchdown metal horns:
Given his recent transpirings, let’s maybe hold off on any hand gestures that in any way resemble the shocker? Thanks. As for my opinion on the controversial call at the end of this game, you can read it in full here. Figured I’d leave it off BWE so we don’t lose Miami readership. Unless they click that link too. Whoops! Still figuring out this intra net.
The Falcons became the first NFC team to reach 5 wins, while a third straight Bengals loss has tensions riding high in Cincinnati:
Chicago lost their second straight home game after Jay Cutler failed to execute Mike Martz’s new offensive gameplan:
There’s wearing the visiting team’s jersey to a stadium, and then there’s wearing this hat to the Chargers/Patriots game in San Diego:
Harder to explain: The Ravens needing Overtime to beat the Bills in Baltimore, or this photo?
The Bucs clearly aren’t getting enough media attention, given their 4-2 record and the fact that some of their players have the ability to levitate:
Well, that ends the season for both these teams. But Headshot-Rule-Mocking fan appreciates Carolina’s effort:
Note to Titans Cheerleaders: For Halloween, you’re supposed to wear less clothing:
Aaand we can officially start the clock on Jack Del Rio’s tenure in Jacksonville. It’s been ticking for two years? Hrm. Carry on.
The Saints entered this game as 13 point favorites and ended up losing by 13; fortunately for David Bowens, the Browns linebacker who ran back two touchdowns, after the events of July 8th we feel almost as much sympathy for Cleveland as we do for New Orleans these days, so he shouldn’t feel guilty for beating them in the Superdome:
Seattle held Arizona to just 227 total yards to take control of the cursed hot potato that is First Place in the NFC West:
That’s not a typo – the Raiders put up 59 points on the Broncos in Denver, causing Denver Defensive Coordinator Don “Wink” Martindale’s jaw to cartoonishly drop:
The Vikings are 2-4 and face an uphill climb to get back into the Playoff picture, but according to this poll, everyone still has confidence in Brett Favre, except for Montana and Rhode Island:
Also, SNL’s Brett Favre Wrangler commercial? Really stupid and really funny. For some reason, Ben Roethlisberger’s Rewteeted it 7,500 times today – guess he really wants the word to get around. About SNL. NFL Week 7 Reactions? Anything we missed? Leave ‘em in the comments. |
| The 40 Best Doggy Halloween Costumes Posted: 25 Oct 2010 02:23 PM PDT This weekend, New Yorker’s and their dogs gathered for a time honored tradition: The 20th Annual Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade. And is there anything better than dogs in Halloween costumes? There literally is nothing better. As such, BWE.tv would like to present The 40 Best Costumes From The Halloween Dog Parade. Let us know what you’re dressing your dog up as in the comments (photos wouldn’t hurt).  13.  12.  11.  10.  9.  8.  7.  6.  5.  4.  3.  2.  1.  [Photos: WENN] |
| Men’s Wearhouse CEO Likes Pot: We Guarantee It Posted: 25 Oct 2010 01:19 PM PDT If there’s one thing we’ve come to expect from those ubiquitous Men’s Wearhouse commercials, it’s that if we were to go in, right now, and put on a sweet 3 piece suit, frontwards or backwards, we’re going to like the way we look. They guarantee it! They being Men’s Wearhouse CEO George Zimmer, the Jewish James Earl Jones of advertising. But what you may not have known about George Zimmer, especially if you are deaf, is that he is a big proponent of California’s Proposition 19. “So what?” you’re thinking. “Who cares about some boring dumb old Proposition?” And then you’re probably grabbing your nearest lighter and smoking up, you no good pothead.
And George Zimmer, Men’s Wearhouse CEO? He’s donated over $70,000 in support of Prop 19. OVER 70 THOUSAND DOLLARS. Looks like he in-vest-ed his money wisely. — Suit Joke. We’ve screencapped the evidence here. DAMNNNN. Guess he’s a fan of both blazers and getting blazed. This would also serve to explain his vocal chords, which have independently donated $100,000 against Prop 19. So good luck to George Zimmer, all the suits that he owns, and all the hemp probably stitched into the lining. Whatever you do, George, just do not click on this link while high. |
| Snooki Attempts 3 Halloween Costumes Posted: 25 Oct 2010 01:33 PM PDT The Snooki Halloween Conondrum: When everyone is dressing up as you for Halloween, what do you dress up as? Below, Snooki tries out three different options, to varying degrees of “That sure is Snooki in a thing!”
2. Spastic Rabbit
3. Mickey (aka Mooki?)
|
| Saturday Night Live Power Rankings: Say Hello To Paul Brittain, Everyone! Posted: 26 Oct 2010 08:11 AM PDT
It wasn’t like Stone was a stiff on the level of the dreaded January Jones, but it was clear from the monologue that she going to be a natural in terms of her ability to connect with the audience (Related: Who chose that outfit? She looks like she’s going to her first day of Boring School, not hosting SNL). Stone is neither a stage actress nor a true comedienne, but we hoped that she would bring a little something more to the proceedings than a look that screamed “I’m just going to try and get through this without screwing up.” Granted, it was not the writing staff’s finest hour, but when you’re given the opportunity to zing Lindsay Lohan, you gotta make it work! So, we’ve established that Saturday night’s episode was pretty middle of the road, but there were some interesting breakthroughs this week (say hello to Paul Brittain, everybody!). Follow along for our weekly breakdown of how the Not Ready For Primetime Players performed this week!
1. Kenan Thompson (33 points): Did you know that Kenan Thompson arrived at Studio 8H a full two years before the likes of Andy Samberg, Kristin Wiig, Bill Hader and Jason Sudeikis? It’s true, Kenan joined the cast WAY back in 2002 (the others were class of ’05). The reason I bring this up is because while it feels like it’s time for Wiig to hit the bricks — more on this below — Kenan is still blossoming. His portrayal of New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy “The Rent Is Too Damn High” McMillan on Weekend Update was one of the show’s high points, and despite his similarities with Grady Wilson, I look forward to seeing more from Googie Rene and his assortment of stained costumewear. Sheeah! 2. Nasim Pedrad (32 points): I still haven’t forgiven Lorne for dumping Jenny Slate into the Hudson River, but I’m really glad that he decided to keep Nasim Pedrad around for another season. So far this season, Pedrad is proving herself to be a future anchor of the show, even if she does have a semi-annoying habit of continually playing characters who are obsessed with members of their own family. And you really can’t put a price on her ability to shimmy, as evidenced this week by her slick moves in Les Jeunes de Paris (not to mention her backup dancing in “What Up With That?”). 3. Bill Hader (29 points): It’s official, everybody loves Stefon! Admittedly, the whole corpsing thing felt as forced as the Tracy Jordan subplot in the live episode of 30 Rock a few weeks back, but when you get lines about fat kids on slip-n-slides with knees like biscuits, why bother complaining? I can only hope that, one of these weeks, we get to go on a Digital Short road trip with Stefon to New York’s hottest clubs. 4. Kristin Wiig (29 points): Criiiiiinge! Oh boy, “Dream Home Extreme” was an exercise in awfulness that showed what would happen if the Target Lady met Surprised Sue on a road trip to Yikesville USA. M 5. Paul Brittain (26 points): There he is! After we (lovingly) advised Brittain to take last weekend to hone his pitches, he came back firing on all cylinders this week, particularly with “Sex” Ed Vincent (“That’s me, that’s me”). Even though it wasn’t billed as such, it was the best “digital short” of the weekend. Welcome to the party, pal! 6. Fred Armisen (16 points): Armisen didn’t have much to do this week, but that’s okay. His Obama has never been a strong suit, but his Joy Behar is always, well, a joy. (Groan.) 7. Andy Samberg (15 points): Again, not much to say about Samberg this week. He showed up, said his lines, then got out of there. His Grape Jelly character in the Digital Short was very Aqua Teen Hunger Force-esque, wouldn’t you say? 8 (tie). Vanessa Bayer, Taran Killam (13 points): Ok, Taran Killam, you’re on watch! Of the four new castmembers, only Killam has yet to have a character that really connects with the audience. That said, we have no idea what part he had in the Les Jeunes de Paris sketch (which, sadly, NBC hasn’t put up on Hulu, likely due to royalty monies they’d have to pay), but I thought it was the standout sketch of the night. 11. Jason Sudeikis (12 points): Not the best week for my boy Sudeiks. His main involvement in the show this week was his Brett Favre impression, but a few things bugged me about this:
11 (tie). Bobby Moynihan, Jay Pharoah (8 points): Ack, another week, ANOTHER terrible impression of a celebrity. His Jonah Hill didn’t really resemble Jonah Hill in any way, shape or form. BRING BACK MARK PAYNE! 13. Abby Elliott (4 points): The less said about Abby Elliott‘s work so far this season, the better. BONUS! A huge congratuations to our old Best Week Ever pal and VH1 alum John Mulaney for absolutely KILLING with his new bit, “I Love It.” SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE POWER RANKINGS: SEASON 36 TOTALS Reference Materials:
Also, did you know that we’re showing classic episodes of SNL every night on VH1? It’s true! |
| HICCUP GIRL SNAPS; HICCUPS; KILLS Posted: 25 Oct 2010 03:52 PM PDT The Hiccup Girl – Watch more Funny Videos Many years ago, in an innocent time known as the “mid-2000s,” a girl came into our lives afflicted with an illness that seemed too annoying to survive. Her name was “Hiccup Girl,” or Jennifer Mee, and she had a case of the hiccups that would not go away. 3 weeks of non-stop hiccups earned her a non-stop round trip ticket to The Today Show, where she joined Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer on the famed couch to discuss her affliction. And now, the inevitable has happened….
Yes, this raving hic’ster who was clearly battling some mental as well as physical issues has been arrested and accused with first-degree murder. Authorities claim Jennifer lured 22 year old Shannon Griffith to a home, where he was robbed and then gunned down. This story is brutal and horrible and she should be put in jail for life. But can we just say that we’re not really surprised? I mean, what else do you really expect to happen to a girl who hit her peak at 16 for having the hiccups? All the glitz, glamour of having a horrible illness snatched away from you in a matter of weeks… it can’t be easy. Look at how some of our most beloved child stars have turned out, and those people actually had some talent at one point in their lives! This girl’s main talent was a super unreliable diaphragm and/or a really convincing fake hiccup. And, apparently, shooting and robbing people. What can someone do with a resume like that? Work in a law firm? No. They can shoot and rob someone. And, judging by her mugshot, she’s probably also really good at meth. So take this as a warning, parents: If your child has some horrible disease, no matter how “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” it may be, whatever you do, do not introduce that child to Matt Lauer. And may Hiccup Girl spend the rest of her days in horrible, writhing pain behind bars. (Mugshot via Splash News) |
| The 10 Nerdiest Signs At The New Zealand “Hobbit” Rally Posted: 25 Oct 2010 10:06 AM PDT The people of Queenstown, New Zealand held a rally today to persuade Peter Jackson and Warner Bros. to film The Hobbit in New Zealand, despite recent union unrest threatening to push the filming elsewhere. Much in the spirit of the Comic-Con Westboro Church Protesters, the nerdy signs were out in full force today – below, a collection of the 10 Nerdiest Signs from the New Zealand Hobbit Rally, in order of nerdiest to also-nerdiest:
Ironically, that same photo has also been used on numerous anti-abortion protest signs.
The twist you didn’t see coming.
This dude even nailed the hobbits’ well-known penmanship and capitalization skills.
Not even related to the books or movie, we just independently love all hobbits. Just remember that when you’re choosing a site.
See previous.
Same sentiment but in the form of a choreographed four-person sign train, with Peter Jackson’s initials tacked on to give the fourth person something to hold.
Nothing nerdy about the slogan, but the wooden stake and olde font designed to look like some masking-taped battle standard? Nice touch.
Any sentence that includes the phrases “Dad Says” and “Middle Earth” becomes nerdier by a factor of one million. Yep, one million. It’s called math, people.
Not technically a sign, but Brian Doyle Murray looking dude definitely has the right attitude.
The boom has been lowered. How can they possibly argue with Legolas’ immortal quote about the film industry? |
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