Friday, October 29, 2010

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

This Can’t Not Go Viral Because Of How People Are

Posted: 29 Oct 2010 08:40 AM PDT

This was the first video posted on The Daily What this morning.

It was followed by this very succinct description- “Early Bird Special: It's Friday! So here's an iguana farting in a bathtub.” So, that pretty much sums that up.

And now we just wait, we just wait for this to be everywhere. This video has all the hallmarks of a video that is about to very seriously make the rounds: an animal, a bodily function, and a unique manifestation of that bodily function. “Hold on to your butts.” – Feature Length viral video about lizards.

My favorite part about this is that there will almost certainly be a discussion at CNN at some point in the next two days about whether or not they can show a lizard fart during their bullsh*t weekend shows where they just give up and air viral videos. CNN: The Most Trusted Name In Lizard Fart Discussions.

James Cameron Urges All Avatars And Cyborgs To Vote

Posted: 29 Oct 2010 08:30 AM PDT

Here’s James Cameron and the dramatic score that follows James Cameron around urging Californians to vote against Prop 23, a repeal of an air emissions act, which that Giovanni Ribisi character probably supports.

The plea seems earnest and genuine throughout, then turns moderately insane in the last 20 seconds, making the entire thing unintentionally seem like a joke. Is that the crew of The Soup laughing?

(via /Film)

It Took A While, But Weekend At Bernie’s Finally Started A Dance Craze

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 03:27 PM PDT

Remember in Weekend At Bernie’s 2 when Bernie’s body got half-voodooed so he would move towards treasure but only in a slouched pseudo-dancing manner and only while music was playing? If you don’t, GET THE F**K OFF THIS BLOG!!! AND THE EARTH!!! YOU’RE USELESS! USELESS I TELLS YA! Unless you are a doctor.

Sidenote: That sequel seriously is just about the worst movie ever, isn’t it? Literally unbelievable that it got made.

Anyway, it’s 2010 and obviously someone has turned “The Bernie” into a dance craze and there’s a video of it online. Enjoy!

(Blameitonthevoices, via BuzzFeed)

Kelly Osbourne Gets Hammered, Falls Into Vat Of Gold

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 01:02 PM PDT

Oh, that didn’t happen? Kelly Osbourne is just re-creating the iconic James Bond Goldfinger mistress scene in a photoshoot. A photoshoot that she got hammered and accidentally stumbled into though, right? Hm, that part’s unclear. I’m gonna stick with my original title.

My theory: She fell into a vat of gold and they’re mentioning the James Bond thing to cover it up. Call that a BWE EXCLUSIVE. Call it that, now. Yell that in your office or dorm room or wherever you are right now.

Two more pics of Golden Kelly Osbourne after the jump:

(via Dlisted)

Let’s Fight About Whether Or Not This Song Is Awful

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 12:55 PM PDT

It’s probable that most of you have heard this Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars song already. I, however, had not heard it until two days ago. It came on the radio while I was in a car, and I instantaneously cracked up. I want to believe this song is satirical, but I really think it’s not. I think it is instead a shamelessly and IMMEDIATELY terrible song. Don’t get me wrong. It’s catchy. It’s been in my head every since I heard it. But, is this really how on-the-nose we’re being with music now? If you haven’t heard this song yet and you don’t lose your mind at the first line, you are not human. (The lyrics are slightly NS for W because of the f*ck word.)

Haha. He wants to be a billionaire. Super weird dream, dude! So, what do we think about this? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it so bad it’s good? Is it so good it’s great? What is this? Has the queen ever even been on the cover of Forbes Magazine?

Quick Note: I’m sorry if this is old news already. I was on vacation for a little bit there. (Secondary Quick Note: A new but late Teach: Tony Danza recap will be up tomorrow.)

Even Sesame Street Muppets Can’t Resist Jude Law

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 11:19 AM PDT

Jude Law appeared on Sesame Street this week to teach kids about the word “Cling,” as in the sentence, “When Jude Law walks into a room, even giant purple octopus muppets instantly CLING to him.”

I imagine this exact situation happens to Jude Law whenever he goes anywhere, whether he’s around people, animals, puppets, or just inanimate objects. How could this not happen?

Octopus FTW!!! Are people still saying FTW? Parents are now? Crap.

(via EW)

Italians Sing Nirvana, As Kurt Cobain Rock N’ Rolls Over In His Grave

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 11:16 AM PDT

Yesterday, we fell in love with Marco Mengoni, the winner of Italian X Factor last season, whose combination of Bruno looks and mediocre singing ability combined with his ambiguously hot sexuality is what Italian reality shows are made of.

But a new season has begun! And who do you think they’ve gotten to replace the oh so delectable Marco?

This. thing. named Nevruz. Here he is singing Nirvana‘s “Lithium.”

Nirvana with an Italian accent is my new drug of choice. My other?

Judge with a mustache, of course.

ps Dear Italy, Please stop butchering American classics.

Thanks to Kekkoz for bringing this to my attention.

First New Toilet Paper Innovation Since Quilted Northern

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 10:34 AM PDT

Is it safe to say we all care about toilet paper? It’s got to be. We all love toilet paper. Even if you’re the kind of person who buys cheep single ply toilet paper, you get so happy when you go to your friend’s parents house and they have a super soft expensive roll hanging from the wall. “Are we sticking around for a while after dinner? Cool. Yes, I WILL have some more spinach casserole.” That’s what you’re like. You’re gross. But it’s okay.

Sadly, there have not been any advances in toilet paper technology in recent years… until now. Guys, the tube-free toilet paper roll. It’s here.

Hahaha. Reduce waste. I WISH!

But really, this is a great thing. Now all you have to do is put it on the spinner thing and use it. There’s nothing to throw away when it’s over. It’s like the iMac of toilet paper. There’s no step three.

Equal thanks to Scott Tissue and Buzzfeed. And a slightly lesser thanks to Jeff Goldblum.

Yes, They Could: The Obama Sex Toy

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 09:57 AM PDT

Just in time for the holiday season, a novelty company has released The Obamarator, a vibrator bearing the likeness of our 44th president:

Say what you will about the U.S., but there’s plenty of countries in the world where people would be crucified by the testicles for creating a sex-toy likeness of their leader. Canada, for one (true fact!!!!)

After the jump, three more pics of The Obamarator (not to be confused with the Obama-themed American Gladiators obstacle course):

Is There Anything That Katy Perry’s Breasts Can’t Do?

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 01:17 PM PDT

Katy Perry is an American pop singer who didn’t achieve fame because of her vocal chops, but rather because she has a glorious rack and is not afraid to flaunt it. Earlier this year, in the video for her song “California Gurls,” this happened:

Then, when Katy Perry’s breasts appeared as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, she redefined the meaning of Tickle Me Elmo for an entire generation:

Now, she has a brand new video for her inspirational ballad with a pop twist, “Firework.” One question remains: How will her breasts top themselves THIS time?


Forget the metaphor, it’s time for Katy Perry’s breasts to get LITERAL up in here! Yep, that’s right, her breasts have gotten an upgrade straight out of a Michael Bay fever dream and now have the ability to shoot fireworks out of them on a moment’s notice!

What would YOU like to see shoot out of Katy Perry’s breasts in her next music video? Let us know!

[Thanks, GIF Party, COED Magazine and The Daily What. Oh, and of course, the handsome Pete Schultz.]

Second-Hand Embarrassment Watch: Audrina Patridge’s Mom In A Drunken Video Rant

Posted: 28 Oct 2010 07:42 AM PDT

Audrina Patridge’s mom, Lynn, held forth to paparazzi cameras last night after a few drinks. Reports The Huffington Post:

Lynn, drunk and smoking a cigarette, told paparazzi outside LA restaurant Beso, “Audrina is going to f***ing rise. She’s got class. She’s a Polish, Catholic, f***ing full-on Italian. Not only that, she was raised right. And I don’t give a s***t. It’s all American.”

Spoiler: The leitmotif throughout this video is America. And one assumes Lynn’s love of America. So that’s nice, in that I don’t want to be American anymore. This was the last straw. It actually occurs to me that the cast of Dancing With The Stars and their moms makes me want to defect*. So, anyway, you can watch this. If you want to. But if you suffer from any form of second-hand embarrassment, it’s going to be really hard. Very uncomfortable. Also, it’s 5 effing minutes long. That is so effing long. As an antidote, I recommend you immediately watch Friday Night Lights co-stars Michael B. Jordan and Aimee Teagarden speak charmingly and articulately about The Best Show On Television and that stupid Glee porny GQ photo shoot. So have that ready. Like a cleansing eye wash. Ugh. You still want to watch? Fine. Here you go.

“We’re all American! Booyah!” My God. My. God. I’m sorry, Audrina. This reminds me of when my friend’s mom would hang out with us and she would be drinking a fishbowl size glass of Pinot Grigio and start talking about what an a-hole her ex husband was and though that was embarrassing, it was in a contained environment. However, apparently the Patridge family is going to have a reality show? So this is like a sneak peek? And Audrina must know that this is how her mom acts? Cool. I’ll FOR SURE have my DVR set to NOT that when I’m living in Estonia. Booyah!

* Jennifer Gray is great and I’m sure her mom is great. And I couldn’t name you another contestant besides Bristol Palin. So there you go.

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