Monday, April 25, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

This Guy Will Probably Get Arrested On Royal Wedding Day

Posted: 25 Apr 2011 08:44 AM PDT

Kai Ward is your average 44 year old Brit. He loves to drink, drive his taxi, make love to his wife, and carve flags into his head for attention. After all, the Royal Wedding is THIS FRIDAY. I got my Mother’s wedding hat dry cleaned in anticipation. But now that I see this guy, I’m starting to think: Should I carve a Union Jack in my pubes?

Yes, right? I mean, if it can give my nethers half as much sexual electricity as that guy is shooting out of his eyes in this photo, I’ll probably be engaged by Cinco De Mayo.

This is what Kai has to say about the well-groomed testicular sack growing out of his neck:

I am proud to be British and think we should be proud of our Royal family so what better way to display that patriotism? I get stopped in the street all the time and lots of folk do a double-take when I walk past. It’s a great bit of fun and you never know, her Majesty might see it and invite me along!

Correction: I just decided that I’d rather watch this dude’s wedding than Prince William’s. So much more under-the-table unprotected sex.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

Liam Gallagher Still Sings Like He’s Making Fun Of Liam Gallagher

Posted: 25 Apr 2011 08:11 AM PDT

If you try to imagine Liam Gallagher singing, you probably picture him with his hands behind his back, knees bent, and head tilted upward so that his mouth meets a slightly downward slanting microphone. But if you think about it a little longer, you suddenly start wondering if maybe you’re just thinking of your friend’s crappy Oasis impression — if perhaps Liam Gallagher doesn’t in reality sing like that at all. It’s sort of like trying to do an impression of George H.W. Bush. You end up basically just doing an impression of Dana Carvey‘s impression. Don’t worry though. You’re not screwing this up. You’re imagining Liam Gallagher 100% accurately.

This is Liam Gallagher singing with his new band, Beady Eyes, in Wales. And he’s really sticking to that performance posture.

Let’s take another look? Sure.

Even the jacket is over-the-top Oasis. It’s like he wants people to shout “Wonder Wall” why he performs his new stuff.

“Hey, why don’t you ease up on Liam Gallagher? He’s just a nice guy trying to make people happy.” – Nobody

Thank you, Splash.

Man With Beautiful Pigface Sings The Nursery Rhymes

Posted: 25 Apr 2011 08:04 AM PDT

If it hasn’t already become ever so apparent, I am over — way over — this season of American Idol. It’s just some more of the same ol’ garbage recycled and spit out of the great American fame machine, and it’s sickening. (Ed. Note: I would give anything to be in the Top 10.) But maybe our problem with Idol isn’t the contestants — Scotty McReRe, the paper-thin-wristed country singer; Casey Abrams, former star of Killer Clowns From Outer Space — it’s the songs they’re singing.

Over in England, one contestant on Britain’s Got Talent has decided to turn your usual auditions on their side. His name is Edward Reid, and while I applaud his novel take on reality show auditioning – belting out Old McDonald and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star — I sort of wish he would have stuck to their original melodies rather than just putting the lyrics over the One Republic song “Secrets” and Snow Patrol’s “Run.” You could make people weep to the original “Old McDonald” if sung slowly and chock full o’ melisma.

Thankfully, this man’s stunningly beautiful pigface (genuinely pretty) and finger wagging still make this video a “Must Post.” Enjoy playing this to your too cool for school kids. (Ed. Note: You should probably send your kids to school already.)


Edward Reid Sings Nursery Rhymes to Run backing… by UCANLEARNPOKERdotCOM

(Popeater via Gabe Liedman)

Disney Announces Huge Leap Forward In Hitchhiking Ghost Technology

Posted: 25 Apr 2011 08:00 AM PDT

In the following video that’s way more interesting than it should be, Disney World animators talk about the new “interactive” hitchhiking ghosts at the revamped Haunted Mansion 2.0 TWO-K-GHOSTLEVEN ride (not the real name of anything). I’m glad they didn’t follow the lead of the new Johnny-Depped-out Pirates of the Caribbean ride and replace the Haunted Mansion ghosts with Eddie Murphy explaining that he’ll be doing kids’ movies til the end of time to repair his image, a la Tim Allen.

Upon watching the video, I’m certain you’ll agree – It’s about time we took the next leap forward in hitchhiking ghost technology:

I went to Disney World about 10 years ago for the first time since I was a little kid, and while most of the rides were a million percent lamer than I remembered them (though still producing an absolute rush of nostalgia either way), the Haunted Mansion was still pretty awesome. I will, in the words of Jack Shephard, “Have to go back to the Haunted Mansion ride!”

(via @matthewkfanclub)
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