Best Week Ever |
- Introducing Gabe & Max Like The Internet, A Brand New Show Celebrating The Best Video Clips The Internet Has To Offer
- Donald Trump’s New Oil Slogan: “You’re Not Gonna Raise That F*CKIN’ PRICE!”
- Royal Wedding Happens, Doesn’t Not Happen
- Chiddy Raps For 9 Straight Hours To Break Freestyle World Record
- 10 Things You Would Rather Watch At 4 AM Than The Royal Wedding
- 20 Totally CRAZY Facts About The Royal Wedding
- So Karl Lagerfeld Has A Big Chocolate Sculpture Of His Boyfriend
- Another Very Visually Pleasant Video Produced For Radiolab
- Yes, The Indian Cricket League Has Cheerleaders
| Posted: 29 Apr 2011 09:38 AM PDT Do you guys like the internet? What’s that, you don’t? Oh well, move along then, nothing to see here! Now that we got rid of those bozos, we’re pretty sure that we can all agree that the internet is a magical and wonderful place, filled with cute animal videos, porn, and more cute animal videos. There’s only one problem with the internet: It’s too big! To help combat this problematic issue of having too many awesome things on the internet and not nearly enough time to digest them all, we are thrilled to present to you the very first installment of Gabe & Max Like The Internet, a weekly show that will cover the best and worst that the internet has to offer. The program is hosted by the talented duo of Gabe Delahaye (Videogum) and Max Silvestri (one of New York Magazine’s Ten Comedians That Funny People Find Funny), who you’ll remember from Gabe & Max’s Guide to Man Style and “Gabe and Max’s How To Get the Dreamlife of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” And now that we’ve got the intros out of the way, there’s nothing left to do but for you to enjoy! THIS WEEK’S VIDEOS
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| Donald Trump’s New Oil Slogan: “You’re Not Gonna Raise That F*CKIN’ PRICE!” Posted: 29 Apr 2011 08:48 AM PDT Rising oil prices are a huge problem. There is no obvious and immediate solution though. It’s a complicated issue that involves not only simple supply and demand, but also speculation about what supply and demand will be in the future. Right? Nope. Not at all. Donald Trump says that what we really need to stabilize the petroleum market is to have one of those lame-os in Washington finally stand up and say out loud, “YOU’RE NOT GONNA RAISE THAT F*CKIN’ PRICE, YOU UNDERSTAND? ME!” Not safe for work or big oil. Sounds like a good plan! I’m pretty sure Donald Trump saying that is why the Coke machines at the VH1 offices on Hudson still cost only 50 cents. So it should totally work on oil. All anyone has to do is tell… well, he doesn’t specify who exactly you tell this to. Josh Opec maybe. That’s probably an important oil guy.
So, that’s how that would probably go. Oh also, this speech took place at the Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas, so let’s all take this very seriously please. There just aren’t enough positive tags you could attach to this post. |
| Royal Wedding Happens, Doesn’t Not Happen Posted: 29 Apr 2011 08:32 AM PDT
Good job, guys. |
| Chiddy Raps For 9 Straight Hours To Break Freestyle World Record Posted: 29 Apr 2011 08:05 AM PDT UPDATE: Rapper Chidera “Chiddy” Anamege of Chiddy Bang successfully broke the Guinness World Record for freestyle rapping by freestyling non-stop for nine straight hours. Here’s the dramatic conclusion: Yikes, rapping for nine hours? I can’t even rap for nine hours. I literally can’t. Turns out, having three full digits in the “DAYS” counter was enough:
Good thing he didn’t rap for literally a thousand straight days, cause MTV would’ve looked pretty stupid. |
| 10 Things You Would Rather Watch At 4 AM Than The Royal Wedding Posted: 28 Apr 2011 10:00 PM PDT
But if, by chance, you have some other reason to be awake at 4 AM on Friday morning, there are many other other things you can watch on TV. A quick look through your cable guide menu will reveal a whole ton of stuff you’d way rather see at that hour than a royal wedding. 1.
Because “shafts” isn’t capitalized, we can assume this isn’t about a bunch of dudes actually dressed like Shaft. And that’s a bit disappointing. But still… way better than a wedding.
2. If you were looking for the opposite of a Prince getting married, this is it.
3. This is a really great thing to put on because, if someone happens to walk in the room while you’re watching it, there’s no way they’re going to feel comfortable asking you to change the channel. “Ugh, can you turn off the genocide movie so we can watch a woman instantly become a titled millionaire?” Not going to happen.
4. Is this a Mexican Sex In The City? Finding out sounds like a much more worthwhile way to spend your early morning hours.
5. Brainetics! This may or may not be about Scientologist arithmetic. Either way, it sounds like good TV.
6. A new concept in hair removal clearly beats out an old concept in monarchical baby making.
7. Rails AND roads?! It’s hard to tell which thing is more more interesting than the royal wedding.
8. Well, this is just straight up a good show. Awesome to watch any time.
9. Korean Bowling vs. British Marriage. Easy choice.
10. It’s a music channel, so you’d probably just be staring at a blank screen. But at least with this, there would be a chance you’d get to hear Raffi. Good luck trying to achieve that at Westminster Abbey. Well, now it looks like we’re not even going to be able to watch the wedding later. Sorry, Will and Kate. Our DVRs are going to be FULL. |
| 20 Totally CRAZY Facts About The Royal Wedding Posted: 28 Apr 2011 10:00 PM PDT
The Royal Wedding is this week, providing us bloggery types with really easy fodder for wacky themed list posts. The only minor problem is, there is nothing interesting to say about the Royal Wedding other than “Those rich attractive celebrities who have been planning to get married for a long time sure are getting married!” Because we don’t want to miss this rare opportunity for awesome Royal Wedding themed internet lists, we’ve taken the initiative and just completely made up a bunch of stuff about it. We now pass this knowledge on to you with BWE’s list of 20 Totally CRAZY Facts About The Royal Wedding: 1. The first Royal Wedding occurred in 880 A.D. between Charlemagne and a really proper sea serpent.
2. William & Kate’s first dance will be to the song “Two Princes.” 3. The world’s last living court jester, 93-year-old “Stoutly” Samuel Densingtowne of Cornwall, will be present but unable to perform The Royal Lolligaggings due to failing health. 4. Elton John will be performing “Candle In The Wind ’97: Finally Forgotten” 5. The date of Prince Harry’s wedding has been pushed back to Saturday because of this wedding. 6. According to the Magna Carta, Royal Weddings are not official until “The dove doth crow deathly into thayre hilles,” but nowadays synthetic doves are used.
7. William’s wedding scepter is brought to you by Rio. 8. The birth rate in the U.K. is expected to spike by 190% in 2011, a common occurrence in years of Royal Weddings, World Cup victories, and moon landings (still). 9. William and Kate registered at CrateAndBarrel.co.uk, but their only item is a giant ornate fountain you can’t afford. 10. Robbie Williams will be there for some reason. 11. After failing to gain clearance for The Queen, movie theaters in London will be temporarily re-releasing the Helen Mirren explosion-comedy Red.
12. From 1311 until 1380, Royal Weddings were consummated by the king literally having intercourse with every British citizen, but this rule was abandoned after the death of John VII, aka “John The F*cking.” 13. Disney’s Robin Hood originally included a “Royal Wedding” scene between Sir Hiss and the Sheriff, but the satire was deemed “too irreverent” and the scene was ultimately cut. 14. T-Shirts with the slogan “I went to the Royal Wedding and got this t-shirt there I did” are currently going for £7,500 ($16,580 USD). 15. Kate will be wearing the real-life Heart of the Ocean from Titanic during the procession, though the one used in the popular 1997 motion picture was a facsimile produced by Georgianne’s Ringerrie, a Scottish jewelry-replicating firm. 16. Prince William is actually John Rocker.
17. Officials expect more Tweets about this year’s Royal Wedding than any Royal Wedding in history since Henry IV. 18. Due to a loophole still on the books, Kate will also rule India. 19. If you combined the weight of every Royal Wedding themed post on the entire internet, it still would not weight as much as insects. 20. The Royal Wedding will be watched by more than 3,000 people and broadcast on over 10 channels worldwide.
And there you have it! Those are the facts. Enjoy the CRAZY wedding! (All pics via Getty Images / Important Pope pic courtesy PATRICK HERTZOG/AFP/Getty) |
| So Karl Lagerfeld Has A Big Chocolate Sculpture Of His Boyfriend Posted: 28 Apr 2011 02:18 PM PDT
Computers should come with a backspace that works on Karl Lagerfield‘s life. From Gawker:
On a gayness scale, a life-size chocolate sculpture of your model boy toy might actually fall below naming your ice cream brand after condoms for enormous penises. But it’s a very close gay call. I can’t even imagine what a straight version of this would be. Maybe a sculpture of Jessica Biel made out of steak to promote a restaurant called Computer Porn? But that’s actually a little reminiscent of Lady Gaga‘s meat dress which is just gay all over again. We need to get a think tank working on this. Thanks for the heads up, Sarah Walker. |
| Another Very Visually Pleasant Video Produced For Radiolab Posted: 29 Apr 2011 09:29 AM PDT
It’s sort of like 60 Minutes, but for the radio, and with fewer old people more focus on science. You end up learning about things you had no idea you wanted to learn about. Did you know there’s a condition that can make you think you’re moving at normal speed when, in fact, it is taking you a couple of hours just to wipe your nose? Did you know that once there was a pond that was so toxic that it killed geese, but then the bacteria from the dead geese’ butth*les somehow cleaned everything up, and now it’s a nontoxic pond? There’s no way you knew those things. But you would have if you listened to Radiolab. Anyway, once in a while Radiolab will produce a short video that they put online as a supplement to their show. Here is the most recent one. It is called Symmetry, and it will make you feel things. Thanks, Best of YouTube. |
| Yes, The Indian Cricket League Has Cheerleaders Posted: 28 Apr 2011 01:41 PM PDT Because you all just would not stop asking me about it, YES, the Indian Cricket Premier League has added cheerleaders:
The cheerleaders were initially more scantily-clad, but they opted to switch to the more traditional and conservative “Saree” following a minor public outcry over their uniforms. Not because they were inappropriately sexual, but because they were just way too exciting to be even peripherally involved with professional cricket. Speaking of which, has anyone here seen a cricket match? They literally take days, and the cheer-able moments occur hours apart — these cheerleaders must really, really have some stamina to pretend to be excited nonstop for a week, especially if they have to fill the down time, which is the only time. Can they at least, like, be on their cell phones? Two more EVEN RACIER pics after the jump (“racier” is a cricket term meaning “more googlys”:
Now I’m gonna watch me some cricket! By which I mean literal crickets probably the next time I’m at a zoo insect exhibit. Or possibly being fed to a salamander. But either way, definitely not the thing that I intentionally jokingly implied in the first sentence of this post-ending wrapup paragraph! (pics via Splash News) |
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