Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Benicio Del Toro Isn’t Not Going To Accept That Dime You Just Put In His Coffee

Posted: 27 Apr 2011 09:12 AM PDT

Oh, Benicio Del Toro. You just keep getting more Olmos-y with every passing year. I just can’t wait until Rod Stewart’s daughter gives birth to your seed, and then that seed grows up into a teenager who is pretty damn good at basketball and eventually defeats the Dragons and brings his team The Beavers the championship. And then Benicio’s gonna be like:

I really can’t wait for that to happen.

[Photos: Splash]

Here’s A Royal Wedding Message We Can Get Behind

Posted: 27 Apr 2011 08:33 AM PDT

You said it, Tyler The Creator of Odd Future on the cover of NME Magazine’s Commemorative “God Save Us From Wills & Kate” Issue. Really, how many of us truly care about the Royal Wedding? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have my ceremonial early morning wedding watching on TV gown all cleaned and ready to go.

But furreal furreal, does anyone seriously care? I mean, sure, I’ll be up at 6 am watching it from the Lido deck of the Best Cruise Ever, but it’s not because I care…

You can see more pics of Tyler actually giving the middle finger to the Royal Fam in NME here. And here’s some hilarious backstage footage of Tyler shooting the NME cover, featuring some colorful NSFW language. He seems pretty serious about not knowing who the hell William and Kate are.

What Does Jon Hamm Think About Jon Hamm?

Posted: 27 Apr 2011 07:46 AM PDT

Jon Hamm was spotted at last night’s Los Angeles Lakers game. Let’s, uh… let’s take a look:

OH. SH*T. SON. Is it possible for this man to be any more dapper? This man could wear a diaper, and he’d still be so dapper than Roget and co. would have no choice but to drop the “i” from the word altogether and, boom, babies would start sh*tting in dappers. My best friend once drove next to him as he piloted a convertible down the streets of Los Angeles, and I’m still slightly angry at her for not capturing a jar of the wind flowing through his hair. (“My Healing Wind,” as I now refer to it.) He could throw newborn goats off a cliff and I’d be like “Baaabe, you’re so funnyyyyy.” He’s an icon, as in, my eye is conned every time I see him, because I know I will never grasp those fistfuls of Hamm that I so desire.

But forget about me for a second.

How Does Jon Hamm Feel About Jon Hamm?

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Animated GIFfy.

Actual Three Stooges Cast Does Not Contain Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, Or Benicio Del Toro

Posted: 27 Apr 2011 07:46 AM PDT

Remember two years ago when MGM announced that Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio Del Toro would be starring in a new Three Stooges movie, and all of us collectively went “Wow, him, him, and him? I can’t believe that any of those three would star in a Three Stooges movie, but I am wrong because that real news has really happened and is real.”

Two years later, the actual Three Stooges cast has been finalized, and it turns out we were completely right for not believing that all three of those actors would actually do a new Three Stooges movie. Here’s the updated cast:

Nothing against the likes of Sean Hayes, but cahhmannn Hollywood, you can’t just announce this amazing mind-blowing cast to get us all talking about how we can’t believe Sean Penn is actually doing a slapstick comedy, then say “Ah JmovieK, Sean Penn isn’t doing a slapstick comedy, it’s these three other very plausible guys.”

That’d be like me saying “I’m about to start dating this new girl, it’s supermodel Bar Refaeli. Nah actually I’m dating ex-Mad TV cast member Will Sasso. Sorry for that nonstop string of #BanginRefaeli Tweets all last year, and all those pornographic Twitpics of us that I Photoshopped with the caption ‘this will be happening soon.’ But thanks for getting the word out!”

These Carvings Are Bananas

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 03:05 PM PDT

So, here are a lot of carved Bananas. Splash News explains:

These a-peeling sculptures are sure to make you go bananas – with the faces of Elvis and Davey Jones from Pirates of The Caribbean. The detailed works of fruity art are carved with a toothpick and a spoon. Each piece is completed fast, before the bananas start to rot.

First off, two word plays in one sentence… nice. And, seemingly, you guys are among a very select group of people who get to see these pictures because they came with the very clear instructions, “Usage: NO AUSTRALIA, BELGIUM, CHINA, DENMARK, ESTONIA, FINLAND, FRANCE, GERMANY, HUNGARY, ITALY, POLAND, PORTUGAL, ROMANIA, RUSSIA, SPAIN, SWEDEN, UKRAINE, UNITED KINGDOM.” Hahaha, Europe is so screwed, you guys!

If you’re worried that there might not be a whole ton of these, you can seriously relax. We’ve got 13 to go after this one.

Even the peel looks like an actual thing Elvis would wear.


Get outta here, Dr. Moist Head. Ya gross.

 

Dude, you got some of your face, like… on your face.

 

He breathes Nutella.

 

Dad?

 

Uhh, can a banana statue be racist? (If you can’t tell which race this looks like, you are a very good person.)

 

Someone’s a little upset about eventually being pudding.


This may or may not be the Simpsons Grandma.

 

B’nanned up on ‘roids.

 

Nope, any non banana material is cheating. Disqualified.

 

We’re all sexually attracted to this one, right?

 

Imagine how scary her banana house must be.


Someone’s about to get laaaaaaaid!

F*ck Yeah! Adam Lambert Tumblr Wins MTV O Award

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 01:49 PM PDT

The MTV O Awards are the world’s first online only Awards Show celebrating those things that make the internet so so great (otherthanporn). And of those amazing internet things, Tumblr’s are at the top of the pack. They’re the internet’s version of the cartoons in the New Yorker. Visuals for idiots. Easy to read. Relaxing. Full of GIFs. What is not to like about Tumblr’s other than their freakishly dwarfy legs…

Speaking of which! Let’s check out the nominees in this punderfully produced video:

Oh sh*t son! Adam Lambert’s F*ck Yeah Tumblr beat out the likes of Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Kanye West (‘s Tumblrs, but still.) Congratulations are in order for Andy Grammar, who spends the same amount of time and energy as cancer researchers to make sure all of your Adam appetites are kept satiated via JPEGs.

All this week, MTV will be awarding O Music Awards daily… which all leads up to the online broadcast LIVE from Las Vegas on Thursday, April 28th at 11pm ET/8pm PT at OMusicAwards.com. You should definitely tune in to the show, as there will be live performances by Matt & Kim, Lil B, Lupe Fiasco, Mumford & Sons, and Foster the People. There will also be appearances by Ke$ha, Cee Lo Green, B.o.B, Wiz Khalifa, Robyn and Theophilus London.

If you are a fan of, or really just use, the internet, you should almost definitely tune in to this show in order to GIVE BACK to the community that so loves you. It’s about time you did something for millions of others.

Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush Re-Affirms Earth As #1 Planet

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 01:23 PM PDT

Here’s a new Justin Bieber Themed Toothbrush that plays two of his hit singles while you brush!!!! We really are the greatest planet in the universe, you guys:

We did it!!!! It being, that!

Below, a brief five-panel comic explaining how this toothbrush will save the world:

Heavy Metal Tribute To Wham’s Careless Whisper

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 02:41 PM PDT

There used to be this busking duo on the New York City subway that would play Wham‘s Careless Whisper on a guitar and violin. It was an amazing subway thing bested only by the lady who used to smile and tell everybody to “sing while you are young.” If it was Sunday, she would add, “…and try to go to church today.” But she never asked for money, so everyone’s subway charity proceeds went to the Careless Whisper guys who we can all assume made one million dollars and have since retired.

This man, Eric Calderone, however, might have just done a better version of Careless Whisper on metal guitar. It is really great.

Long Black Hair: Check

Black Guitar: Check

Black Tee shirt: Check

Wham Song: Yes, sure, nobody can think of a reason why not.

Pre-Song Wink: Frankly, we can do without it.

Thanks, The High Definite.

Kanye West Dubbed Official King Of Twitter At The MTV O Music Awards

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 12:32 PM PDT

The MTV O Music Awards, America’s FIRST Online Only Music Awards, are being given out this week. Which is great news for Kanye West, who has performed the impossible: A complete sweep of the nominations in the Best Tweet category. I mean… LOOK:

Man, that Kanye tweets about ALL our favorite things!!! Like sofas, Lifetime, models, water and cherubs. No wonder he sweeped the nominations!!!

HE’S A GENIUS

All this week, MTV will be awarding O Music Awards daily… which all leads up to the online broadcast LIVE from Las Vegas on Thursday, April 28th at 11pm ET/8pm PT at OMusicAwards.com. You should definitely tune in to the show, as there will be live performances by Matt & Kim, Lil B, Lupe Fiasco, Mumford & Sons, and Foster the People. There will also be appearances by Ke$ha, Cee Lo Green, B.o.B, Wiz Khalifa, Robyn and Theophilus London.

If you are a fan of, or really just use, the internet, you should almost definitely tune in to this show in order to GIVE BACK to the community that so loves you. It’s about time you did something for millions of others.

Tell Me This Is Not The Most Beautiful Tree…

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 10:55 AM PDT

Don’t even lie. Like 70 percent of you would make love to this tree, and 25 percent of those of you that did would boast about it on Facebook.

And not to pat myself on the back or anything, but this is not completely unlike what I looked like on Prom Night. Gentlemeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….

I found this beauty while on a stroll with my Mother, around the corner from their current house and on the same street that I grew up on. It is slightly possible that a witch lives there, or a 60-year-old version of myself sent back in time to alter our fabric of reality. Will check and let you know!!

Elementary School Music Consultant Still Super Pumped

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 11:23 AM PDT

Sometimes, when elementary or middle schools put on plays, they will hire some theater-y non-teacher person to come in as some sort of child drama consultant. The guy they usually bring in is… this guy. This is the guy that came into all of our schools to teach us to step and spin like candy canes or trees or dreidels or whatever weird thing your play was halfway about. Those plays never even made sense — just a bunch of characters and songs with no narrative structure. And for some reason you weren’t supposed to sing r’s? “Fish and chips and vinegah! Vinegah! Vinegah!” What was THAT?! Nothing about these things was a thing. But at least they looked GOOD. And that’s because this guy was there making sure they looked good.

Guys, it’s Double Dream Feet.

Obviously, Rubber Legs was and still is great. But the guy waited for us all to graduate before he started teaching the Carlton Dance. Come on, guy. Double Disappointed Face over here.

Thanks, The Daily What.

The Smooth Jazz Stylings Of Mario Bros. 3

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 10:42 AM PDT

Well, it’s been 22 grueling years, but someone finally re-scored the entire Super Mario Bros. 3 soundtrack with acoustic jazz instruments.

If getting nostalgically baited into paying attention to the 10 trillionth remixed NES thing on the internet is cool, consider me MILES DAVIS PLAYING MARIO JAZZ:

The full CD is available on, I don’t know, some airship somewhere:

So, Did Fred Savage Ever Hook-Up With Winnie Cooper IRL?

Posted: 26 Apr 2011 10:41 AM PDT

Actor Adam Pally had the honor of driving around in a mid-size sedan with child star and current successful director Fred Savage while asking questions and recording it for Funny or Die. It is easily one of the most informative interviews of our generation, a veritable Frost/Nixon for Generation Y. Here, Savage answers those burning questions: Did he ever hook up with Winnie Cooper? What about Blossom? Is his wife Asian?

Find out the answers to all this and more here.



I always thought he’d make such a cute couple with Vicki, the robot maid from Small Wonder…

(via NY Mag)
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