Cele|bitchy

LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian got married in Malibu on Friday
Linnocent’s sentenced to 120 days in jail (update)
Hot Guy Good Friday: A Prayer for Your Biscuits
“Raccoon McPantless’s busted weave wishes you a happy Easter” links
Linnocent covers up for court in vintage Lanvin: one of her better court outfits?
Fergie’s jacked 2011 Face: depressing, painful or not that bad?
Angelina Jolie got a $10 million modeling contract with Louis Vuitton
Kate Hudson’s ex fighting with her bf over his fatherly role in son’s life

LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian got married in Malibu on Friday

Posted: 23 Apr 2011 07:40 AM PDT

This news actually shocked me a little. Not that I didn't fully expect LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian to get married - I did, and I bet LeAnn was dumb enough to do it without a prenup too. No, what shocked me is that they managed to get married without a lot of hoopla, on a Friday afternoon/evening, before a holiday, and one week before The Wedding of the Century (Prince William and Kate Middleton). It's almost like… LeAnn was trying NOT to be a famewhore. Odd, right? Oh, well. Now the deed is done so I suppose we can start the official countdown for Eddie's infidelity:

It’s official: Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes are husband and wife!

“LeAnn and Eddie were happily married today surrounded by their closest family and friends,” the bride’s spokesman, Rhett Usry, confirms exclusively to PEOPLE. “They thank everyone for their well wishes.”

Country star Rimes, 28, wore a Reem Acra gown as she and actor Cibrian, 37, exchanged personalized vows on Friday in front of about than 40 guests, including Cibrian’s sons Mason, 7, and Jake, 4, from his previous marriage.

The couple had led friends and family to believe that they’d been invited to an engagement party, but surprised the guests by tying the knot at the intimate ceremony held at a private home in California.

“I’m looking forward to settling down,” Rimes recently told PEOPLE of her impending nuptials. “Settling into our life.”

The couple got engaged in December when Cibrian proposed with a 5-carat diamond ring from jeweler Brent Polacheck, who also crafted their wedding bands.

[From People]

Well… congratulations to the couple. I guess. Sure. All I can think about is how awful she must have looked, a bag of bones and a pair of bolt-ons, sauntering down the aisle in a God-awful, tacky gown. I wonder if she's going to sell the photos? People Magazine, you think?

By the way, a lot of people are talking about LeAnn's new interview for this show, Great American Country. LeAnn played the victim card over and over again. Here's some of what she said:

On her divorce from Dean Sheremet: "I know I didn't do it the right way. I didn't have the tools to know how to do it the right way, how to let go the right way. I'd never been taught that…I think I felt really abandoned - I think abandoned is a really good word - because of our divorce. Not only that, our divorce became so much bigger because it was so publicized."

Learning from her mistakes by screwing Eddie: "I have the strength [now] but I didn't at the time… So, it got really messy, but I have learned a lot from that. And I'm not glad it happened, but I know why it did."

The "double standard" for country music men: "[Country music] has such a double standard. You know, Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash and all these guys. God knows what they did back in the day? And if a woman did it, you never were accepted or forgiven. But if it was a guy, it was just their life… It's quite interesting to have to navigate those waters as a woman in this business."

[Quotes via The Mail]

Ugh. I can't even start with her. SHE felt abandoned? And she really thinks she's like the most special, A-list superstar, doesn't she? It's even worse when you see the video:

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Linnocent’s sentenced to 120 days in jail (update)

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 03:29 PM PDT

OH DEAR GOD. I wish the California legal system was a person, so I could shoot it in the face. Judge Sautner just dropped Linnocent's felony crack thievery charge down to a misdemeanor! Crap. DA Meyers argued that Linnocent should still go to jail because even it was misdemeanor theft, it was still a parole violation. Linnocent pled not guilty to the misdemeanor charge. BUT - Linnocent doesn't have to go jail now, first she gets her crack trial. The pretrial date is May 11th, and the trial date is June 3rd, and the trial verdict will set the penalty for both the theft charge and the probation violation.

By the way, Hollywood Life has all kinds of interesting little side notes and tangents about Linnocent's behavior during the hearing. Here are some interesting parts:

Lindsay Lohan is in court today for her felony grand theft trial over her alleged theft of a $2500 necklace. Unfortunately, a preliminary hearing for a felony is still not enough to keep Lindsay somber. She's been laughing and texting while in court all morning!

Lindsay walked into court this morning and immediately asked to go to the bathroom. Once the trial started, our eyewitness tells us Lindsay was constantly texting on her phone. She even laughed at her own lawyer when Shawn Holley mistakenly asked the court transcriber rather than the judge to repeat a question. She laughed again when the defense attorney called her witnesses up to the stand, giggling at the store owner.

She has been repeatedly looking at her phone all morning, picking at her nails and sometimes whispering into Shawn's ear when she disagrees with the witness testimony.

Lindsay Lohan isn't the only one acting inappropriately at her felony grand theft court case today, her lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley has been creating quite the stir! During the first half of the preliminary hearing today in Los Angeles, the D.A. called Kamofie & Co. store owner Sofia Kaman to the stand as well as a store employee, Tinelli Comsooksri, who was there the day Lindsay allegedly stole the necklace. When Shawn Holley started cross-examining owner Sofia Kaman, she kept harping on Lindsay's cleavage!

"When she wasn't on her phone, Lindsay jotted down a few notes while Sofia took the stand. Sofia explained the store did not receive any money from the supposed $25,000 sale of the surveillance tape. She also expressed her belief that Lindsay's friend Patrick acted as a decoy while the duo were shopping," explains our spy.

"Judge Stephanie Sautner had her eyes locked on Lindsay during Shawn's cross examination. When Shawn asked why the store had security cameras the owner responded 'Because of theft,' and Lindsay looked surprised when everybody in the courtroom laughed. But then, things got a little odd."

How so? "Shawn kept grilling the owner different ways about whether or not she was looking at Lindsay's breasts, since Lindsay was wearing a low-cut top. The witness insisted she never looked at Lindsay's cleavage. Shawn was trying to make the point that if you saw her breasts, you saw her necklace, which means Lindsay was allowed to take it and didn't steal it. At one point the witness started arguing with Shawn, and she looked very unprepared."

So how did Lindsay feel about this line of questioning? "She looked very uncomfortable while they were talking about her breasts. Shortly after they broke for lunch and Lindsay was escorted by eight security guards to go to the bathroom. She then ordered chinese food and went to the bathroom again, where she ran into her father Michael and they had a cordial chat."

[From Hollywood Life - two stories]

Gee, I wonder why she has to go to the bathroom so often? *SNIFF*

So, just so we're on the same page, Linnocent sat through her pretrial hearing - in which the judge bent over backwards to "give her a chance" and "go easy on her" - coked out of her skull. She was doing blow in the courthouse bathroom. Certainly someone could have caught her, right?

By the way, you can see clearly through Linnocent's bodysuit - she's not wearing a bra, but she is wearing some kind of spaghetti-strapped tank underneath it.

UPDATE: WTF? I have no idea what’s happening.

Judge Stephanie Sautner just threw the book at Lindsay Lohan for her probation violation, sentencing her to 120 days in county jail!!!

Lindsay has been remanded into custody and taken to the basement of the courthouse for booking. Lindsay’s lawyer has said she’ll appeal, which means Lindsay is entitled to post bail.

Lohan was also ordered to complete 480 hours of community service — 360 of those hours must be performed at the Downtown Women’s Center, so Lindsay can see how needy women have to live. The remaining 120 hours will be served at the L.A. County morgue.

Judge Sautner explained that Lindsay should have called the store and notified the owners about the necklace sooner. She waited several weeks and returned the necklace after finding out the cops were about to raid her house.

Sautner seemed influenced by the surveillance video, which she saw for the first time in court today. Sautner agreed with Danette Meyers, who argued Lindsay used her friend Patrick as a decoy to distract the clerk.

[From TMZ]

So… she’ll probably post bail…? How can she be sentenced to 120 days in jail YET get bail?!?!?

UPDATE #2: Okay, I’ve actually been thinking about it, and here’s what I think it happening - she’ll post bond (or bail or whatever it’s called, I’m not a *grumble* lawyer) and she’ll be out until June, when her crack trial is. Whatever happens during the crack trial, it doesn’t really matter because the judge’s sentence still stands and she will actually have to do the time in jail because THAT sentence is for her probation violation, right? Er… Imma go to law school.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Hot Guy Good Friday: A Prayer for Your Biscuits

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 03:22 PM PDT

Gaspard Ulliel. Our headliner comes via a request, although I've featured Gaspard several times before. I always honor requests for him though, just because I love looking through photos of him. He's a dreamboat, a French, haughty, sexy, photogenic dreamboat, and he loves to pose for photos. He's mainly an actor, but he has a little side-business going as an in-demand model. Also: Yes, his chin is epic. But for some reason, the chin doesn't bother me on Gaspard. He makes it work, right?

Blair Underwood. CB and I were discussing how hot Blair is and was and always will be earlier this week, when we were talking about Tyler Perry movies and how some good actors end up getting surprisingly meaty, fun roles in Perry's films. I pointed out Blair (as well as Idris!), and that sent CB and I off on a Blair-induced mutual lust thing. He really is F-I-N-E. I prefer him with some facial hair, though - I think he looks slightly dorky without something on his face.

Kenneth Branagh. I talking about my Ken-lust earlier this week - he was posing with his Thor star, Chris Hemsworth, and it became obvious to most of us that Kenneth Branagh was the more bone-able of the two. Now, I am totally still mad at him regarding Emma Thompson. But I might be thawing (in my drawers).

Hugh Jackman. What is there to say about Hugh? I know the gays want to claim him, and maybe they should, but Hugh's sexuality isn't even that much of a hot topic for me. If he is, so be it, and if he isn't, that's nice too. I like that he seems like an involved, hands-on dad who adores his kids. I love that he's a song-and-dance man. I love that he actually TRIES to win people over - a great skill to have when you're, say, hosting the Oscars, and a skill that James Franco is lacking.

Walton Goggins (By Bedhead) If you’re not watching “Justified” on FX, there’s a very good chance that you’ve also had plenty of people insist that you’re really missing out on an outstanding show. Those people are absolutely correct. However, if you have had the pleasure of catching Timothy Olyphant (a recent Hot Guy Friday headliner) in action as Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens, then you’re also quite familiar with his nemesis (and occasional ally), Boyd Crowder, who is played with an amoral certainty by one Walton Goggins. While this guy isn’t classically handsome by any stretch, he’s still got a very strange sexiness about the way he talks and moves with an impressive intensity. Also, that smile.

Dwayne Johnson (By Bedhead) In his capacity as “The Rock,” he has always been the only professional wrestler who can pull off those terribly nonsensical catchphrases with any manner of aplomb and has been known to induce spontaneous pregnancy with a deft lift of the People’s Eyebrow. As an actor, Dwayne Johnson ebbs and flows but certainly does impress the most in those action movies, in which he inevitably stalks around in a furious manner while doing all sorts of stereotypically manly things. Still, he even looks good wearing a damn tutu.

Jeremy Renner (By Bedhead) Other than Renner’s obvious physical appeal, the main attraction here is that he is an actor’s actor and stays as far away as possible from the massive publicity machine that turns Hollywood into a tabloid-laden nightmare. Instead, Renner prefers to show up on set and do his job in a wholly professional manner, and his riveting performances (especially in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The Town, and The Hurt Locker) reflect as much. Plus, he’s just really damn cute.

Jacky Ido (By Bedhead) This French actor might not ring many bells with U.S. audiences as of yet, but he did make one hell of an impression as the devoted Marcel in Inglourious Basterds. No matter how many times I watch the moment when Ido’s character smiled up at his lover’s face on the screen and said, “Oui, Shoshanna,” before tossing his cigarette into a ready-made inferno, it never fails to send chills down my spine. Ido is damn good, and I’m hoping that he’ll one day have the chance to make it onto our shores once more. Hire him, directors!

Bill Murray (By Bedhead) Oh, how I adore this guy, who can do absolutely no wrong in my eyes. Even though he’s been in a few horrifically crappy movies (Garfield immediately rears its ugly head), Bill F****cking Murray has also acted within so many of my favorite films (Stripes, Lost In Translation, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, and Broken Flowers) too. Furthermore, he’s got a great reputation for treating his fans immensely well and crashing random karaoke parties just for fun. Usually, I don’t get hot for “older” guys, but I’d so hit that with some tequila on the side.

Skeet Ulrich (By CB) It’s a shame what they did to this guy’s character on Law and Order: LA and I’m not going to give away any spoilers except to say that I’m not watching the show anymore, which I guess is a pretty big spoiler. I love this guy’s kind of sad damaged aura, like he’s been hurt and needs some consolation. I would help him get over it.

Ethan Hawke (By CB) This one is for Kaiser, because she was just gushing and then feeling guilt for her crush on this skeevy man, who cheated on America’s then-sweetheart with a 19 year-old model and then ended up in marital bliss(?) with the nanny. There is something very hot about him, and he exudes smarmy sex. I prefer the cleaner cut Ethan, the one around the time that Gattaca came out, when he was so young and pretty and had the potential to be a decent family man. We should have seen the signs.

Anthony Mackie (By CB) We feature Anthony regularly and there’s a very obvious and very good reason for that. He’s hot, he’s confident without being arrogant, he’s his own man and he’s the kind of guy who could make you laugh one moment and beg for more on your knees the next. He’s our dessert today, and I’ll call him gelato. He melts in your mouth and is delicious without being terrible for you.

Photos courtesy of Fame, WENN, Vogue, Essence, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Flaunt, The Telegraph, Entertainment Weekly, Google Images.

“Raccoon McPantless’s busted weave wishes you a happy Easter” links

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 11:30 AM PDT

Ugh, look at Raccoon McPantless's hair. Gross. [A Socialite Life]
That's Dr. James "D-Bag" Franco to you. [Dlisted]
I'm still not seeing the Taylor Kitsch thing. Too pretty, I think. [LaineyGossip]
Review of Keanu Reeves' latest, Henry's Crime. [Pajiba]
Why is Diora Baird famous again? [Yeeeah]
Oprah is your own personal Jesus (remember that song?). [PopEater]
Critics don't hate Water for Elephants. [Celebuzz]
Mischa Barton is the face of a Chinese sex toy? Sure, why not? [Agent Bedhead]
Rupert Grint hit the bong. Sure. Why not? [The Blemish]
Peaches Geldof was still married, by the way. But not anymore. [Crazy Days and Nights]
Kris Jenner & Khloe Kardashian get into it about Khloe's weight. [LimeLife]
Jim Carrey is joining The Office. [ICYDK]
New photos of LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian. [Pop Sugar]
An Oscar nominated documentarian is dead - it's really sad. [PopBytes]
The Jenner girls love attention. Ugh. [Evil Beet]
Vintage Penelope Cruz! I love this photo. Oh, Sassy Magazine! [The Frisky]

Linnocent covers up for court in vintage Lanvin: one of her better court outfits?

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 10:59 AM PDT

These are the only photos we have so far of Linnocent entering the courthouse today - you can see a better photo of Linnocent's full ensemble here, at TMZ. Their sources say the outfit consists of vintage Lanvin pants (fug sailor junk), Lanvin shoes (peeptoe black hooker heels - peeptoe is inappropriate for court) and a "bodysuit" from Wilford. Um, are people still wearing bodysuits? I remember, back when I was a C-cup (in my youth, bitches), getting a bodysuit from Victoria's Secret. Those things are made for girls with no boobs and a short torso, let's just say that. Who wears an itchy, crotch-hating bodysuit to court?! Oh, and the purse is Fendi! It's black, and I can't really see it. One more thing: I still don't think the crackheaded bitch is wearing a bra!!!

As far as what's going on in the courtroom… meh. TMZ is updating as stuff comes in, but I'm not going to wait around. I asked CB if I should, and her exact words were "we're not ruining a Friday before a holiday because she has no personal responsibility whatsoever." You can read TMZ's updates here, and I'll be back later to write something up if something noteworthy happens.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Fergie’s jacked 2011 Face: depressing, painful or not that bad?

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 10:28 AM PDT

We've been talking about what Fergie allegedly had done to her face for weeks now. Her husband's explanation was that Fergie had simply changed lipsticks. The tabloids claimed that she had gone under the knife for a $30,000 plastic surgery makeover. As more and more photos appear, I'm more inclined to think that the difference is plastic, and that it likely cost Fergie much more than $30K. Her face looks really, really different (to me).

Anyway, these are new photos of Fergie promoting… shoes?… at Macy's. Sure. Cool. Look how she's posing for the photos - it kind of breaks my heart. Did I ever really think Fergie was some great beauty? No, I didn't, but her 2009 Face was fine. It moved. She could close her mouth and she didn't look permanently "surprised". her 2009 Face didn't look painful, like this. I feel like Fergie is wincing! I find this set of photos so depressing… Fergie has this great voice, she's one of the most popular solo acts, and she's in one of the most popular groups in the world, and she still feels the need to mangle her face and then pose like this on a red carpet to shill shoes. There's something so sad and desperate about it. I know that sounds really bitchy, and I'm honestly not trying to say "Haha, it's so funny that her face is jacked and she's desperate." It's not funny. It's sad. She's better than this.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

Angelina Jolie got a $10 million modeling contract with Louis Vuitton

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 09:03 AM PDT

I always wonder why Angelina Jolie doesn't "model" more. It seems like more brands would be seeking her out to be their face, but Angelina's endorsement contracts have been relatively small (compared to other A-list women). Angelina had a three-year contract with St. John, and a multi-year contract with the Japanese beauty brand Shiseido (I've included one of her Shiseido commercials below). Even though some say Angelina didn't really help sales of St. John, I tend to think that most celebrity "endorsements" of brands simply help define the target audience for the brand - Angelina helped give St. John a boost in profile, although perhaps not in sales. In the end, I think Angelina doesn't so many endorsement deals because she's got other junk on her plate.

Anyway, Angelina just scored a big one - one of the best campaigns to front, right up there with Chanel. Angelina is the new face of Louis Vuitton!

Angelina Jolie just bagged a lucrative endorsement deal. E! News has learned exclusively that Jolie is set to be the face of an upcoming worldwide ad campaign for designer Louis Vuitton. The print-only campaign, which is scheduled to launch this summer, will be marketed globally…

A source familiar with the deal between Jolie and the French fashion behemoth tells E! News that the actress will get paid “close to $10 million” for her high-end endorsement deal, believed to be the most lucrative of her career.

We hear that Annie Leibowitz will do the photo-snapping honors within the next couple of weeks.

A rep for Louis Vuitton had no comment. Jolie’s publicist did not return calls seeking comment.

Jolie, who last year ended a long-term endorsement deal with St. John and recently launched a jewelry line, has long been a fan of the brand, often sporting its handbags in public.

Past celeb endorsers of L.V. have included Jennifer Lopez and Madonna.

[From E! News]

Louis Vuitton is wealthy. It's rich. It's brand says exclusivity and luxury. Angelina is a much better fit than a lot of the girls they could have gotten (Blake Lively, Madonna, you get the picture). I like it, but you know, I'm a Brangeloonie, so of course I'm going to love it. I can't wait to see the ads! But they should have gotten Mario Testino - I LOVED his shots of Angelina for the St. John campaign.

Vintage shots of Jolie by Testino & Leibovitz.

Kate Hudson’s ex fighting with her bf over his fatherly role in son’s life

Posted: 22 Apr 2011 08:37 AM PDT

The National Enquirer had this good piece of gossip about how Kate Hudson’s current boyfriend, rock star Matt Bellamy, is feuding with her ex husband, rock star Chris Robinson. You would think that those two might get along, since Chris has long since moved on and has a new wife and baby, and both he and Matt seem like relatively mellow guys. Plus guys don’t openly express hostility to each other much in my experience, and if they don’t like each other they just keep their distance. That might not be the case with Chris and Matt, though, because according to the Enquirer Chris told Matt to step off and stop acting like a dad to his seven year-old son with Kate, Ryder. Meanwhile Matt is upset that Kate is so close with Chris and his wife and “feels threatened by that.”

“The situation is very awkward because Kate is friendly with Chris, his wife Allison and their baby. Matt feels threatened by that.

“He and Chris are musical rivals with opposite personalities. Chris is an introverted hippie and Matt is a hard-rocking outgoing guy. Every time they talk, they wind up arguing…

“I think Chris is put off by how Matt has taken such a fatherly role with Ryder,” the source said. “He even told Matt, ‘Back off, man. Ryder already has a dad.”

Their frosty relationship appeared evident at Ryder’s Little League game in Malibu on March 19.

“Kate was hanging out with Chris and his wife, chatting and cheering Ryder on. But Matt kept his distance and wouldn’t talk to Chris,” the source revealed.

The blonde beauty, who gained 70 pounds while carrying Ryder, is reportedly suffering through a difficult pregnancy.

“Kate must feel like a bloated whale. The last thing she’ll want to deal with is playing referee between her ex-husband and her boyfriend,” said the source.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 2, 2011]

I don’t believe this. I’ll buy that Matt and Chris avoid each other, but I doubt that Chris told Matt to step off his son. He could of, though. He just strikes me as the type of guy who would try to get along with another guy. Kaiser and I were e-mailing about this, and in our experience it’s rare for guys to bitch another guy out to his face. (Behind their backs, sure.) Usually they either avoid each other or try to get along. I also think that a lot of guys forget that they’re mad at each other when they hang out. It’s like unspoken guy code or something. The Enquirer probably had a paparazzi source tell them that Matt and Chris didn’t talk at that baseball game, but the rest of this sounds like conjecture.

Also, how rude is it to say that Kate “must feel like a bloated whale.” She’s pregnant, give her a break!

Photos of Kate and Matt from 4/10/11. Photos of Chris Robinson are from 2/11/11. Credit: WENN