Cele|bitchy

Chris Martin hates Gwyneth… or her food? Or both?
The Kanye West Foundation has mysteriously closed its doors
Tina Fey: “Toddlers are total d-bags. You gotta let them know.”
Josh Hopkins explains those frolicking beach photos with Courteney Cox
Lady Gaga apologizes for saying “retarded”: “It was furiously unintentional”
Kate Middleton in pre-wedding black Issa: lovely or bony?
Hugh Laurie in Paris: has ‘House’ jumped the shark?
Rihanna & Usher’s hot hookup at Coachella
Ethan Hawke knocked up his nanny-wife again, he’ll be a father for the fourth time
Megan Fox’s glum 2011 Face shills for Jaguar: lovely or sour?

Chris Martin hates Gwyneth… or her food? Or both?

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 08:46 AM PDT

First things first - today is GOOP DAY! Yay! Last week's Goop newsletters were all about Gwyneth shilling her Cooking Instructional For Peasants, but this week she only shills her book a little, and then moves on to pushing organic skin/beauty products. If you like that kind of thing, you can read the whole piece here, at Goop. My favorite part is her recommendation of Butter London nail polish, specifically a color called "No More Waity, Katie." OH SNAP. Gwyneth hates Waity. Mark it down. "Peasant," Gwyneth scoffed to herself. "I would have made a better princess, but I didn't even deign to desire the job."

In other Goop news, lots of sites are talking about this New Yorker piece written by a woman who attended Gwyneth's foody goop-fest dinner in New York last week (?). The dinner where Gwyneth cooked - all by herself, allegedly - for like 70 people. The piece is full of little kiss-assy gems, but the part everyone is discussing is a little comment by the writer regarding Chris Martin's state of mind. The relevant portion:

At 9 P.M., the guests went out to a pair of long tables on the terrace. Diaz, A-Rod, and Batali sat near Chris Martin, who had arrived looking cranky. (A publicist warned, "He doesn't want to talk.") Paltrow sat a few seats away, flanked by Jerry Seinfeld and Jay-Z.

[From The New Yorker]

Hahaha. Chris was acting like a sulky, butt-hurt man-child because it was his wife's night and she probably MADE him show up, and then she doesn't even sit beside him at the dinner? What the hell, Goop? And Chris… boy, just grow a set and file for divorce if you're so over it.

Other tidbits from the piece - Mario Batali claiming that Goopy "eats like a truck driver." Ah… "Paltrow greeted people by the door, holding a glass of cucumber water." Of course she did! Because she was cooking for 70 people all by herself, and she still had time to hand out cucumber water! OF COURSE. Also, Goopy calls her mother "Mommy." And Blythe brought Bruce Paltrow's napkin for the special occasion. He had a special napkin?

Part of Jessica Seinfeld's toast: "There is no one who is more comfortable or more capable in the kitchen, naturally, than you. I don't know how you do it. [To the guests]…And you are all so lucky to be part of Gwyneth's world. Because this is the real deal. And she's invited all of you good people in here. I would never do that." Yes, we are all so blessed to be orbiting Planet Goop, the most superficial and sanctimonious of all the planets. It's her world, and she deigns to allow us to worship her!

You can read the whole thing here, at The New Yorker.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

The Kanye West Foundation has mysteriously closed its doors

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 08:44 AM PDT

Kanye West, who once described himself as like a tree that feeds the branches of the people, has now let “the people” down with news that the Kanye West Foundation, which was founded by his mother and aimed to reduce high-school drop out percentages, has abruptly shuttered its doors. There’s no word yet from Kanye on why the charity has closed, which is strange, to say the very least, since Kanye generally speaks to “the people” and lets them know everything (and then some) about what he’s thinking and feeling. After all, he blamed his notorious interruption of Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech for the fact that he had to let go some of his clothing company employees:

With the help of strong will, a lack of empathy, a li’l alcohol, and extremely distasteful and bad timing, I became George Bush over night. How deep is the scar? I bled hard. Cancelled [a] tour with the number one pop star in the world. Closed the doors of my clothing office. Had to let employees go.

Interestingly enough after that little rant, Kanye soon found the money to replace his bottom teeth with diamonds. This leads me to wonder what major purchase he might be planning after cutting the Kanye West Foundation out of his life too:

The charity named for the rapper Kanye West that was intended to reduce high school dropout rates has closed mysteriously.

Its former executive director, Joseph Collins, sent an e-mail to associates last month, telling them that he was looking for a job because the charity, the Kanye West Foundation, had closed, and its phone has been disconnected.

“I am reaching out to let you know that the Kanye West Foundation (kanyewestfoundation.org) has officially closed it doors after a successful 4+ years of programming and events,” Mr. Collins wrote in the e-mail, which was given to The New York Times by executives from two nonprofit groups that had worked with the organization. “It has been an incredible experience working with Kanye and the board to realize his mother’s vision and I am honored to have been given the opportunity to lead the Foundation.”

Reached by phone, Mr. Collins declined to comment. “You’d have to get in touch with Mr. West,” he said.

Efforts to reach Mr. West failed, however. Mr. West's agency, WME Entertainment, referred calls about the closing of the charity to the performer's publicist, Gabriel Tesoriero, but Mr. Tesoriero did not respond to e-mail sent to the address the agency provided.

Nor did a representative for Universal Music, where Mr. Tesoriero works, return a call.

Michelynn Woodard, listed as the organization's chairwoman, did not respond to e-mails or phone messages.

The charity filed tax forms as if it were a private foundation, but it does not appear to have been financed by Mr. West, instead raising the bulk of its money from companies and individuals with whom Mr. West does business.

In 2009, for instance, Madison Square Garden gave it $151,754, and the retailer Karmaloop donated $20,000. The previous year, the charity received contributions from the concert promoters Live Nation Music Group and Goldenvoice.

The charity raised an average of $492,000 and made total grants averaging $18,080 in each of 2007, 2008 and 2009, the last year for which tax forms are available.

Grant-making slowed drastically — in 2009, the charity made just $563 in grants — after the death of Mr. West’s mother, Donda West, in 2007 from complications of plastic surgery. Dr. West was an English professor, according to the charity’s Web site, who founded the organization because she “was passionate about student success.”

[From NYTimes]

So what are we to make of this? Perhaps Kanye West is just a really busy man who found that he didn’t have the energy or interest to keep a foundation running after the death of his mother, but he certainly doesn’t have problems with investing inane amounts of time typing an endless stream of Twitter diarrhea as well as attending exclusive events such as Paris Fashion Week (as shown in the below paragraphs). Still, you’d think that Kanye would want to honor his mother’s memory by making sure that the charity had the wherewithal to continue running and helping disadvantaged young students to graduate high school. Instead, Kanye either made a conscious decision to let the foundation run itself into the ground or he just figured that if you set up a charity and throw a few fund-raising events, everythng will just turn out okay. And clearly, things haven’t turned out well here, but charities are immensely disposable where many celebrities are concerned. As long as they intend to do good and get those all-important photo ops, the rest just doesn’t matter, right, Madonna?

Photos of Kanye West pouting at Paris Fashion Week and performing at last weekend’s Coachella festival courtesy of WENN

Tina Fey: “Toddlers are total d-bags. You gotta let them know.”

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 08:06 AM PDT

Tina Fey has a new interview with GQ this month, all to promote her book and 30 Rock. You can read the whole piece here - Tina's interviews are always a good read. Unfortunately, though, Tina is doing this new thing where she's trying to represent the sisterhood of women by standing up for the most rage-inducing amongst us. In her InStyle interview, Tina tried to defend Gwyneth Paltrow's comments about crying when she left her kids to go to work. And in recent interviews, Tina has been defending Olivia Munn, who I think Tina fancies as her comedic protégé. The problem: Olivia doesn't deserve it. She hasn't earned it. Here are some excerpts from Tina's GQ interview:

On her breast pump: "Yeah, the thing’s upsetting. I would try to pump milk while watching Entourage on demand. And that was the worst possible way to do it. Like, I had the pump on, and I’d hear Turtle on TV: "Yo, E, you ever f–k a girl when she has her period?" I just sat there thinking: Oooh, this is not how this is meant to be.

Louis C.K. has a classic line that it’s completely okay to call your kid an a–hole. What do you think?
I think that any person being an a–hole deserves it. Especially toddlers—they’re total d-bags. You gotta let them know.

Liz Lemon is Seinfeld: "She is the spine, yes. But I always feel like she’s like Jerry Seinfeld on Seinfeld. You couldn’t have done Seinfeld and hired some random guy to be Seinfeld. What he was bringing was very specific to him."

Do you think Liz is ugly? Because there are all these jokes about her being unattractive, and I just don’t see it.
It’s never that she’s ugly—I mean, she is sometimes slovenly. But for me, it’s always been kind of the opposite of what people have said about her. It’s about how other men see her, and has nothing to do with how she really is. When Jack is like, “Ugh, you’re a mess,” it’s because of what his brain wants a woman to be. It has nothing to do with the physical symmetry of her size or anything. So no, she’s not ugly. She’s kind of sloppy. But all the clothes that Liz Lemon wears are much nicer than what I would wear on a writing-hiatus week.

Lady blogs like Jezebel exploded after the episode with the Liz-hires-a-feminist-comic thing. It sure seemed like you were commenting on the outrage when Olivia Munn—hot lady, not necessarily hot comic—was hired on The Daily Show.
I was actually really pleased that Jezebel got that it was about the whole Olivia thing, because the treatment of Olivia was weird on that site. She just kept getting reamed! And it was this weird mix. They would go after her, and then the next thing would be like, “Defending the Rights of Sex Workers.” And I was just like, “Well, why can’t we just say Olivia’s a sex worker? Leave her alone!”

[From GQ]

I remember that episode. The female comic that the show hired had an act that consisted of "sexy baby" talk and talking about her boobs and sex, and when Liz tried to "out" the female comic, it turned out that the woman was hiding from her abusive husband and she liked men around because she was always scared her ex would return. It was a weird episode that didn't really have a significant political message other than "Female comics whose comedy relies on being infantile and sexy are people too." I get that Olivia is a person. And I even think she's kind of pretty. But I get tired of infantile "I'm a pretty girl, here are my boobs and I'm making a naughty sex joke!" comedians. It's boring and unfunny.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Josh Hopkins explains those frolicking beach photos with Courteney Cox

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 07:44 AM PDT

E! News has a new interview with Courteney Cox’s Cougar Town costar, Josh Hopkins. Courteney was photographed with Josh looking very coupled up in St. Barts, but has denied that she’s romantically involved with him and recently said on Howard Stern that she hasn’t screwed anyone during her separation from David Arquette. (She also gave TMI about how David always wanted to have sex at inappropriate moments.) Josh actually explained it better than any of the other denials or articles I’ve read about it, and said that a lot of the cast and crew was there since they were filming on location and were just taking a break.

“You’re talking about St. Barts… this is how that happened. We’re shooting the last episode, we’re all talking about what we’re going to do on hiatus. She’s like ‘I’m going to the beach…’

“We went with a bunch of friends, but of course the pictures are just of she and I frolicking. They frame it like that and then the stories, that’s great, they’re like ‘An unnamed source saw them being suspicious.’”

It looked suspicious to me because the pictures were so incredibly clear and most all of the agencies had them. It’s hard to believe that several paparazzi agencies all paid for a photographer to go to St. Barts just to follow the C-listers of Cougar Town while they were filming. I think that these were meant as promotion for the show and that Courteney cosigned the cheating rumors in exchange for some publicity. US Weekly even carried these with a breathless report on how Josh and Courteney shared a villa. She’s been inviting the paps and dealing with the resulting stories because she wants people to watch her show.

I still think there was something to the rumors that she was with her other co-star, Brian Von Holt, and that she was fibbing on Stern about not sleeping with anyone else. Maybe this guy is telling the truth, though. I sound naive here, don’t I?

Photo credit: Fame Pictures

Lady Gaga apologizes for saying “retarded”: “It was furiously unintentional”

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 07:36 AM PDT

Yesterday, parts of Lady Gaga's NME interview leaked, and everybody started yelling because Lady Gaga said "retarded". She used the word when she was asked if she was blatantly crack heisting Madonna's work and vibe, to which Gaga replied "That's retarded" and then went off on a coked-out rage. Anyway, Gaga has apologized.

Lady Gaga’s got yet another bold statement to make: An apology.

The pop star came under fire after she dropped the “R bomb” — calling plagiarism accusations against her “retarded” — in an interview.

Following the fracas, the “Judas” singer told Perez Hilton: “I consider it part of my life’s work and music to push the boundaries of love and acceptance. My apologies for not speaking thoughtfully. To anyone that was hurt, please know that it was furiously unintentional. An honest mistake, requires honesty to make,” Gaga, 25, said.

Quoting her smash hit “Born This Way,” she concluded: “Whether life’s disabilities, left you outcast bullied or teased, rejoice and love yourself today.”

In her expletive-laded chat with NME, Gaga (real name: Stefani Germanotta) complained of speculation that “Born This Way” was a rip-off of Madonna’s “Express Yourself.”

“I’m a songwriter,” she said. “I’ve written loads of music. Why would I try to put out a song and think I’m getting one over on everybody? That’s retarded. What a completely ridiculous thing to even question me about.”

The term “retarded” is “extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate,” Peter Berns, CEO of The Arc (a nonprofit advocacy group for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities), told Us Weekly last August, after Jennifer Aniston made a similar quip.

[From Us Weekly]

Sure. Sounded sincere, and she seems like she means it. Here's the thing though - I still think she should apologize to Alexander McQueen's family for saying that McQueen killed himself just so his spirit could inhabit her body and write "Born This Way". I also think she should apologize to God for giving Him credit for "Born This Way" (God said "I'll take credit for The White Album, but not that Gaga crap.")

Weird Al also did a version of "Born This Way" which he's calling "Perform This Way". After a back-and-forth scuffle yesterday, Weird Al is releasing the single and the proceeds will be donated to the Human Rights Campaign. Clever!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kate Middleton in pre-wedding black Issa: lovely or bony?

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 06:46 AM PDT

These are new photos of Kate Middleton, supporting England's economy by shopping and shopping and shopping. She made a tour of some of the shops in London yesterday, and she got pap'd like a pro. This is one of incidentally one of the first dresses she's ever worn that I've thought "Ooooh, I want that!" I love a cleverly designed wrap dress- this one is by one of her favorite designers, Issa. She has worn a lot of Issa throughout the years, and famously chose the blue-purple, long-sleeved, silk jersey Issa dress for her engagement announcement and interview.

I also like that even though royal ladies aren't supposed to wear black unless someone died, Kate did it anyway, in a very chic and simple way. My biggest complaint: the shoes. I enjoy a good kitten heel, but these shoes are very "Come and celebrate the Queen Mum's 101st birthday!" Beige. Gold buckle. Meh.

By the way, I know whenever I let my hate-on for Waity rage, I upset some people. Look, I don't think the girl is malevolent or vicious, and I get that she's "safe" and therefore I shouldn't really have a problem with her. That's why I have a problem with her. She is an unimaginative girl, an uninspired choice, and she's simply… bland. I guess, but maybe that's not even the right word. What's the word for "simply hanging around forever, being at a prince's beck and call and completely subjugating herself for years, all to have it white-washed into a 'fairy tale'"? Maybe she'll change and she'll end up a great princess (or a great Lady Biscuits, or Duchess of Crumpets, or whatever her title will be). Maybe she won't. People will like her when she starts having babies, and I suspect she will be very stable for the monarchy… but the girl just bugs me, okay? And I don't think she should get a free pass on being Waity for nine years, and I don't think we should participate in the whitewashing of Waity.

By the way, in a recent poll of English ladies, the overwhelming majority of women polled said that they didn't or don't envy Kate Middleton, and they wouldn't want to trade places with her. The exact number was 86% - the percentage of women who think Kate's life is going to suck from here on out. Well, it's what she wanted. She waited long enough to get it, and it seems more and more like she was simply the only girl who wanted the job. Is that a fairy tale?

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Hugh Laurie in Paris: has ‘House’ jumped the shark?

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 06:45 AM PDT

These are some new and newish photos of Hugh Laurie, out and about in Paris this week. Hugh rarely gets pap'd, so I thought we'd mark the occasion. I have no idea why he's in Paris, by the way. Perhaps he's promoting House internationally? Or maybe Hop? Maybe his album (did you know he recorded an album?)? I don't know. It's funny, I only really think Hugh is sexy when he's on House. These photos aren’t doing much for my biscuits, sexy-time-wise. But give me an episode of House where there's a close-up of his grizzly face with those beautiful blue eyes… and my biscuits are feeling naughty.

Recently, Hugh was confirmed for one of the biggest parts he's taken since House - he's going to take the lead in the adaptation of Lloyd Jones' Mister Pip! Here's more from EW:

Poor Hugh Laurie. Here's an actor so convincing in his performance every week on House, M.D., he's often associated with being just as cranky and biting as the show's titular character.

When it was reported by Deadline that Laurie was set to appear in director Andrew Adamson's big screen adaptation of Lloyd Jones' Mister Pip, nowhere in his character's description do the words "snippy," "mean-spirited" or "sarcastic" come up. In other words, Laurie, who is actually trained as a comedic actor, seems to be putting an end to any typecasting.

Alas, the Golden Globe-winning actor would be set to play the role of Mr. Watts, the last white man remaining on the war-torn island of Bougainville. After Watts opens a school on the island, he bonds with his young students over his favorite novel, Great Expectations. You're hearing House-like quips in your head right now, aren't you?

Still, it will be nice for the actor (nice being the operative word), who can currently be heard in Hop as the voice of Russell Brand's fluffy patriarch, to show off his diverse range of acting skills with moviegoers. Although will House fans be willing to see him in a new light? Moreover, could this slightly hurt Laurie's chances for snagging the still-vacant role of Haymitch Abernathy in The Hunger Games? Thanks to the rough-around-the-edges demeanor he's become almost synonymous with, Laurie's name has been coming up quite a bit as a suggestion for someone who could play the boozy mentor.

But when it comes to an actor like Hugh Laurie, we're willing to go in whatever direction he does.

[From Entertainment Weekly]

Aw, it sounds like a nice role for him. Considering one of my favorite movies of all time, Sense & Sensibility (the Emma Thompson-Kate Winslet version) has a younger, lovely Hugh Laurie in a smaller role, I am already willing to accept Hugh in non-House roles.

But, since we're talking about House, can we talk about what's been happening this season? This paragraph is full of SPOILERS for the current season, by the way. It's my opinion that the episode where Cuddy gets "sick" and House takes some Vicodin and Cuddy dumps him - well, that episode was basically the end of House as we know it. It really made me sick that after all of these years, they finally got together and Cuddy dumps him over something so… I don't know… something they easily could have gotten through. I'm still watching the show, of course, but it just feels WRONG. Maybe something interesting will happen towards the season finale. Fingers crossed.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Rihanna & Usher’s hot hookup at Coachella

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 06:37 AM PDT

According to OK!, Rihanna and Usher went home together after meeting up at a party at Coachella. The two left together and were holding hands, so if this is true it’s safe to assume that they were doing more than just flirting. The last we heard about Rihanna she was casually hooking up with Ryan Phillippe but he’s since coupled up with Amanda Seyfried. Usher has a girlfriend that has been trying to take over his career and get him to fire all his people. She was with him at Coachella, I found photos of her with Usher on 4/15, the day before this supposed hookup with Rihanna. Usher is known to cheat, though, and I have the sense that Rihanna would be up for it. Here’s more:

On April 16, the music was pumping, the Ciroc vodka was flowing, and Rihanna and Usher were making beautiful music together - and we're not talking about singing!

"They were so flirty," an insider tells OK! Of Rihanna and Usher at Coachella. "They left holding hands.”

Rihanna and Usher had a table near the DJ booth - DJ Jesse Marco was spinning with Djs Caitlin Moe and Mia Moretti - where they whispered in each other's ears and laughed as stars like Paris Hilton and Kanye West watched.

According to witnesses, Leonardo DiCaprio was also chatting up RiRi, but at the end of the night, she went home with Usher.

"They're having fun and hooking up," an insider tells OK!.

"They have a lot of mutual friends; we're surprised it didn't happen sooner!" adds a source.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, May 2, 2011]

Kaiser and I were e-mailing about this, and we get the impression that Usher and Rihanna are not each other’s type. Rihanna just told Rolling Stone she loves to be dominated and tied up and Usher usually dates older domineering women. He then cheats on them in a misguided attempt to lash out at his momma for controlling him. This is just his passive aggressive way of getting back at his girlfriend for trying to take over his life.

Rihanna photos are from 2/18/11. Credit: WENN.com

Ethan Hawke knocked up his nanny-wife again, he’ll be a father for the fourth time

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 06:35 AM PDT

Remember how Ethan Hawke hooked up with, impregnated and married his kids' nanny after his divorce from Uma Thurman? Yeah. He knocked her up again. Why do I find him so hot?!? Ethan's skuzzy hotness is a mystery to me, all I know is that I adore him, physically. It's not like he has a great body, or is even traditionally attractive. It's not like he has a great personality. And he comes with baggage - nanny-wife baggage. UGH, I WANT HIM.

Reality certain doesn’t bite for Ethan Hawke these days: He’s going to be a father for the fourth time!

A source close to the Oscar-nominated actor confirms that Hawke’s wife Ryan Shawhughes is pregnant with the couple’s second child.

The couple wed in 2008 and welcomed daughter Clementine in July of that year.

Shawhughes is “five months along, totally showing,” another insider tells Us. “They don’t know the gender, but…Clementine really wants a little brother!”

Hawke, 40, also has two kids — Maya, 12, and Levon, 9 — with ex-wife Uma Thurman, whom he divorced in 2004 after six years of marriage.

Adds the second source of Shawhughes (who once served as nanny to Maya and Levon): “She’s got an adorable little basketball belly!”

Hawke’s rep does not comment on his personal life.

[From Us Weekly]

In my fantasies, we meet and he realizes that I'm The One instantly. I guess that means I would have to be a stepmother to 4 kids? DEALBREAKER. I won't wreck his home if it means I have to take care of four kids. Small concession, I know. Anyway, congratulations to Ethan, Ryan and soon-to-be big sister Clementine!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Megan Fox’s glum 2011 Face shills for Jaguar: lovely or sour?

Posted: 21 Apr 2011 06:15 AM PDT

Aren't we lucky? Megan Fox's 2011 Face has come out yet again! This time, she seems to have gotten a gig where she just stands around, posing with her mouth open, all for Jaguar. The event was for the 50th anniversary of Jaguar's E-Type, and I suspect that Megan got a nice fat paycheck to stand around looking vacant. She even got to bring Brian Austin Green, who is looking better and better, isn't he? Anyway, The Mail says her dress is mint green, but in these photos it looks white, so who knows? I actually like the dress, a rarity when it comes to Megan's sometimes tacky style. Here's a bit more from The Mail:

There was certainly some impressive bodywork going on as Megan Fox turned out to support a Jaguar event in New York last night.

The cars on display were also looking suitably snazzy.

Transformers star Megan unveiled her own streamlined physique in a backless mint green dress as she turned out at a function put on by the motor firm to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Jaguar E-Type.

She was joined by her husband Brian Austin Green, who she posed with happily.

The Jaguar E-Type was once described as the ‘world's most beautiful car’ by racing driver Enzo Ferrari, the late founder of the Ferrari Italian motor brand.

So it was only fitting, perhaps, that Megan - voted one of the most beautiful women in the world in various polls - was there to support the event.

Megan has recently finished filming the upcoming comedy Friends With Kids.

[From The Daily Mail]

I wonder… is this what Megan's career has come to? Getting paid to do these kinds of appearances? Even though her last film went nearly direct-to-DVD, I kind of thought Megan was still a somewhat in-demand actress, enough that she would be fine for money without having to do these kinds of events. Perhaps it's both - she's fine for money, her career is perhaps on track, but Jaguar still offered her a big enough paycheck that it was worth her while.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

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