Crushable

Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2x12: Burning Down the House
California State University Now Offering 'Twilight' Class

'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Let's Meet Our New Wives!
Sorry Ladies, No More Excuses About Being Bad At Math
Become Our Facebook Fan Now And Get A Chance To Win A 'Jerseylicious' Prize

Gallery: Hennessy Wraps Up Aritistry Tour With Penn Badgely, Bobby Brown

Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2x12: Burning Down the House

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 10:20 AM PDT

We knew this day would come eventually: the day that’s been foreshadowed on Jersey Shore since the first season, when the boys almost blew up the house when they put lighter fluid on a gas grill. Or when every dinner scene ended with something on fire or being accidentally toppled over…we knew that this was all leading somewhere. And last night on the penultimate episode of the Miami season, viewers got their wish. The kids of Jersey Shore all got caught in a terrible fire started by Mike’s dinner and died of smoke inhalation.

Of course, this was not before The Situation took back his reigning title of king douche by forcing the group to leave a club early (they all have to leave at the same time, except when they don’t), getting the group kicked out of Space (SPACE!) the next night, and then kicking a girl out of bed because she refused to sleep with him. And he was doing so well this season! But with Angelina gone, the group turns on itself. Sammi is mad at Ronnie because he said she looked Asian. Pauly D. is mad at the Sitch cock-blocking. The audience is grateful for the hook-up board, because it really puts things into perspective: not only how each cast memberas has eseentially put their secretions in each other, but also why they need to be taken out of the gene pool before they create some antibiotic-resistant super-strain of Chlamydia.

So even though we are saddened by the deaths of Pauly D., Vinny, Sammi, Snooki, Michael, and Ronnie, we understand that their demise was necessary. With The Situation making $1 million this year and basically every character coming out with their own slutline apparel, they burned too bright and too beautiful to sustain their cultural status.

of They will be survived by JWOWW, who was ironically saved by having so much tar built up in her lungs already that she could basically walk through a furnace.

Next week: Season finale, you guys!

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Jersey Shore Cliff Notes 2x12: Burning Down the House

California State University Now Offering 'Twilight' Class

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 10:58 AM PDT

The state of California is hurting for money. Everyone loves vampires. Kids hate doing actual work in college. It doesn’t take a genius to put these three things together and come up with California State University’s newest course offering: “Topics in Women’s Studies: Twilight: The Text and the Fandom.”

Look, we’re not knocking it the idea that there are women’s issues in Stephanie Meyers series, although frankly it’s a bit telling that this course is studying exactly one series of text. (Can you imagine taking a class on just one book, besides the Bible or Finnegan’s Wake? What about a class devoted only to Citizen Kane and none of Orson Welles‘ other films?)Though, there’s a place for a highbrow discussion of pop culture but this course descriptor is reaching really, really hard:

Using an intersectional lens emphasizing gender, race, class, sexuality and belief, provides students with the conceptual and analytical foundations to think more deeply about popular culture and its impact.Covers vampire lore, the romantic core of the series, female characters and fans, the depiction of men and masculinity, religious contexts, race and white privilege, the franchising of ‘Twilight,’ and various cultural contexts such as abstinence only education and the rise of internet fandoms.”

You know, gender and sexuality don’t mean the same thing, right? What gender issues are there in Twilight? Plus promising a discussion on “white priveledge” and race issues that will focus solely on the fact that mythical vampires are at war with mythical werewolves (who happen to be Native American)?

But we are mostly rankled by the publicity hype the school is pulling around this. “Go here, and read the books you were going to read anyway! It’s not real work!” It reeks of desperation, which in fact is exactly what both nationwide colleges and California itself are currently suffering from.

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California State University Now Offering 'Twilight' Class

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 10:47 AM PDT

Is the world ready for Skating With the Stars? - ABC has announced its decision to finally move ahead with the long-rumored figure skating reality show. Hooray! We foresee a lot of blooper videos in our future. (Vulture)

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'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Let's Meet Our New Wives!

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 10:48 AM PDT

If Bravo has taught us anything over these past years, it’s this: You can’t let a good idea die. And if it starts to lag, just grab some Botox, plump it up and send it back out on TV. This logic is why we now have Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, a new version of the series that debuts while Real Housewives of DC (But Mostly Northern Virginia) and Real Housewives of Atlanta are still lingering out there on the airwaves.

For starters, I really wish I had paid more attention in high school math. Those algorithms would have come in handy last night with all the insane angles present on these housewives’ faces. This is one Botoxed bunch, and Taylor Armstrong is first shown having some "filler" injected into her skeletal face so that she can keep her husband to stick around before some new 20-something replaces her. "I’m just being realistic," she says. Beauty is pain, and there is a lot of pain in Beverly Hills.

Unfortunately, I got a C in geometry, and Wikipedia was no help as a refresher course, so I’ll have to study up for next week’s episode. Adrienne Maloof is clearly the richest of the group: she is the co-owner of the Sacramento Kings and the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. She’s also married to a Republican plastic surgeon, despite being a vehement Democrat who has the tendency to drop-kick preadolescent boys in the family dojo.

Do you like celebrity cameos? Would you settle for Kelsey Grammer? Because next we have his wife Camille Donatacci, who is here to break free from his celebrity shadow. But also talk about him at every turn. Because she is not just a wife, she is also a sufferer of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which might explain the rotating staff of four nannies (that’s a 2:1 nanny-to-child ratio, mathletes!).She was also on Club MTV! And she’s an advocate for "going green," which means sacrifice. Also, that she and Kelsey have to – gasp – fly commercial now.

Restauranteur Lisa Vanderpump is the Joan/Jackie Collins-substitute we so desperately need in these troubled times. She lives with her husband, her Pomeranian Giggy (pronounced like the Will Smith jam, a subtle nod to the Beverly Hills royal), and a nearly hairless homosexual houseguest named Cedric, who lifts weights and looks pretty by the pool. Lisa is the token saucy Brit who is here to stir the pot, make fun of her fellow housewife Kyle and confuse the rest with her dry Bond girl accent.

Finally, there’s Kim Richards and Kyle Richards, the younger sisters of Kathy Hilton (they’re the KKK of Beverly Hills) and aunts of Paris and Nicky. The sisters are the most interesting of the housewives, as they regularly remind us that they are former child actresses, and therefore undeveloped in other ways. Kim, arguably the more famous of the two, was the little girl in Escape to Witch Mountain, which she considers an important enough role to dub herself "the Disney girl," (Jodie Foster could not be reached for a comment). She’s now down on her luck; a single mom with four kids from three relationships, she’s struggling to find a new home. Perpetually on the brink of tears, Kim seems quite sweet and endearing, until she relays a story about the paparazzi getting more excited to see her than her niece Paris after they left a local restaurant. And then you realize she’s plenty deranged to be on this show.

Kyle, on the other hand, has it all! A sexy husband! Four daughters and a caustic wit! She’s more independent than Kim. And they’ve got the passive aggressive relationship to prove it. Kyle seems to enjoy bullying her sad older sister, who already suffers from a Jan Brady-like middle-sibling syndrome. Also, Kyle’s ridiculous flying phobia and actions on a short girls’ trip to Sacramento prove that she is ready to stir shit up on the show.

Altogether, it’s a fantastic group of crazy, botoxed personalities ready to provide us with the backstabbing, name-calling, and competitive behavior we’ve all come to expect from women housewives real housewives. Also, we get the added bonus of watching a marriage fall apart in real time, as Camille and Kelsey Grammer have split since taping started (just today, Camille informed us that his new girlfriend’s miscarriage is due to bad karma. Nice!). This season could only be more enticing if Phyllis Nefler and the Wilderness Girls show up on Kim’s doorstep to terrorize her with low-fat cookies.

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'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Let's Meet Our New Wives!

Sorry Ladies, No More Excuses About Being Bad At Math

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 09:13 AM PDT

I remember the first time I was convinced that I was going to become a prostitute. Hear me out: I had just gotten a D in my junior year high school math class, which was going to bring down my GPA, which meant I was never going to get into a good college, which meant ____ (I was a little fuzzy on the next step, but was convinced it was going to end up with me either doing porn or turning tricks on the corner). And I’ll never forget what my guidance counselor said when I went in, terrified that I had just ruined any chances of a normal, none sex-worker lifestyle.

“Don’t worry honey, colleges don’t look at girl’s math scores.” You know, because there’s that part of our brains that are filled with tips on how to put on lipstick and be mean to each other where the math part aught to be. Unfortunately, a new study has revealed that the differences in men and women’s ability to do math is so small that it is basically insignificant.

So why “Sorry ladies?” Because it’s not “the man” that keeps girls away from a major in Economics and opting away from AP statistics. We do it to ourselves, because it’s a cultural “fact” that women in general find math less enjoyable than other subjects. And we’ve always had the excuse that our brains (for the most part) just weren’t hard-wired the same way guys were. It was a convienent excuse and fun while it lasted, but party time is over. Women are just as good at math as guys, so suck it up and don’t use your gender as an excuse for your shitty grades.

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Sorry Ladies, No More Excuses About Being Bad At Math

Become Our Facebook Fan Now And Get A Chance To Win A 'Jerseylicious' Prize

Posted: 12 Oct 2010 08:46 AM PDT

Jerseylicious prize pack

Don’t forget to “Like” Crushable on Facebook before it’s too late, or you’ll miss out on this opportunity to win a Jerseylicious-themed prize pack work over $100. What’s Jerseylicious you ask? Perhaps this video clip will help us explain.

Jerseylicious is a reality show on the Style Network. Currently in its second season, the show follows the lives of salon owners Gayle and Christy and their staff of hairdressers and make-up artists, including the feuding duo of Olivia and Tracy, the “Glam Fairy” Alexa and sweet, romantic Gigi. One of the big themes of this season was Christy’s pregnancy:

Now, enough about the show, here’s the goodies you can win. Crushable is giving TWO lucky Facebook fans each one of these prize packs, which include Aqua Net Extra Super Hold Hair Spray, E.l.f. Dramatic Lash Kid, Liquid Eyeliner and Duo POWDER Eyeshadow in Black Licorice, Babe Tool Lip Gloss in Fake Bake, Bella il Fiore Mani & More Accessory Set in black with leopard print tools (so Jersey), a 3-pack of Bumpits to help you make your poof, and a Jerseylicious tank top and an animal print tote bag. The entire thing is valued at over $100.

If you're already a fan of Crushable on Facebook you've automatically been entered to win one of these prize packs. If not, you will have until Sunday, October 24 at 5 p.m. EST to click here and hit the "Like" button. You must have a U.S. mailing address (no P.O. boxes) to be eligible to win. No purchase necessary.

Two winners will be chosen randomly and notified via Facebook message on Monday October 25. Becoming a fan of Crushable on Facebook now will automatically enter you to win more giveaways like this in the future. And don't forget to become a fan of Jerseylicious on Facebook, too, and follow the show on Twitter so you'll always get the most up-to-the-minute news about your favorite Jersey hair stylists and make-up artists.

And of course, watch Jerseylicious every Sunday on the Style Network. Like you have to be reminded to do that.

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Become Our Facebook Fan Now And Get A Chance To Win A 'Jerseylicious' Prize

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:43 AM PDT

4Chan No Longer Kiss Fans - In very important Gene Simmons news today, the singer and sex tape star’s websites were momentarily offline after they were hacked by 4Chan’s Anonymous group, which have been targeting RIAA sites and their music industry supporters. First they came for the Scientoligists, then for the men in clown makeup, and we still said nothing…(via Contact Music)

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Gallery: Hennessy Wraps Up Aritistry Tour With Penn Badgely, Bobby Brown

Posted: 15 Oct 2010 08:34 AM PDT

All month long, rapper-preferred cognac Hennessy has been going around the country with its 5th annual Artistry Tour, promoting a multicultural experience of music, entertainment, and lots of drinking. Last night the tour wrapped up in New York City, bringing together some of the most incongruous group of stars to ever walk down the red carpet together. After all, who can say no to Hennessy?