Thursday, April 7, 2011

Best Week Ever

Best Week Ever

Pedophile + Yellow Dinosaur = AMAZING

Posted: 07 Apr 2011 08:43 AM PDT

There’s not usually anything funny about teaching children to be on the lookout for sexual predators, unless a giant yellow backtalking kind-of-rapping short-tempered dinosaur thing is teaching those kids to look out for “tricky people” like REGINALD CHARMING, in which case, the only thing funny about it is everything.

Early contender for Internet Video of the Year 2K11:

(Everything Is Terrible, via Jeff Rubin)

Trailer Mix: Crazy Stupid Love Is At Least 2/3rds Of The Title

Posted: 07 Apr 2011 08:38 AM PDT

This is the trailer for Crazy/Beautiful Crazy Stupid Love. Starring Steve Carrell and Ryan “Spray Tan” Gosling. There’re also a lot of power red heads in this: Emma Stone and Julianne Moore. And then there’s Kevin Bacon, who is enjoying some sort of Renaissance as the dude who steals someone’s wife.

Oh my God. Ryan Gosling is doing an impression of Steve Martin in My Blue Heaven. This is the most amazing character reference ever! Check it out if you don’t believe me.

Right down to falling in love with the red head!

NY Mag

Here’s Another Thing Julianne Moore Will Ruin

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 11:47 PM PDT

And you thought it was just 30 Rock. Popeater brings us the above side-by-side photos of Julianne Moore as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. And it might be too soon to say, but I can almost personally guarantee you that it’s going to be a nightmare. Here are 5 other actresses that would make for a more convincing/less annoying Hillary Clinton:

5. Kristen Stewart
4. Angela Bassett
3. Dakota Fanning (half-serious)
2. Pearl from 227
1. Katherine Heigl

It Got Sadder: Charlie Sheen Appears In Rick Vaughn Costume

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 12:17 PM PDT

My thoughts towards the Charlie Sheen live show began with total ambivalence, then morphed into vague, undirected rage, but now, looking upon this photo of Sheen coming out in full Major League Rick Vaughn garb in his show last night, I can’t help but think anything other than “Wow – this is depressing as sh*t”:

The Internet has already said everything that needs to be said about the Sheen fiasco, but only now, seeing the domestic-abusing drug addict appear before a crowd at his struggling live show dressed in a costume from a 22-year-old movie, do I realize that — whew! — it’s finally over.

A Message For The Laaaaaaaaaadies: It’s Probably Best To Let Your Boyfriend Propose To You

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 10:55 AM PDT

He is consoling her because he said no. PROPOSAL FAKE OUT!

You know feminism or whatever? As best exemplified by the song, “Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)” from Annie Get Your Gun? Well, all that is a lie. Because there are several things than men can do better than women. Peeing into a urinal. Growing a beard. More often than not, proposing.

Metro UK Reports:

After sending her boyfriend a message to come and meet her, the woman in question climbed on to the top of her car holding a bunch of roses.
On the windscreen two boards displayed the words ‘Marry Me’.
However, when her boyfriend arrived his reply surprised the large crowd that had gathered – because he turned her down.
He said: ‘It should be my job to make the proposal. However, I now have nothing and I can’t give you a good life. If you can wait for me for three years, when I should have bought my house and car, I will propose to you.’
The romantic proposal took place at Wuhan University during a cherry blossom appreciation festival.

Even though the man’s points are valid, he could have said yes and had the “I’m deferring the proposal” talk with her later. He didn’t have to do it during the Cherry Blossom Appreciation Festival. Knife. Heart. Also, of course women can propose to men in an awesome manner. And it probably wouldn’t include a jumbotron or a near choking on a ring incident. All I’m saying is, should your boyfriend be a strict traditionalist who wants to “provide” for you, you might want to let him to the man’s work.

50 Dogs At 50 Miles Per Hour

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 10:51 AM PDT

Little is as satisfying to a dog as sticking their head out of a car window and eating the breeze. And little is as satisfying to a dog lover as witnessing a dog’s face when it meets highway speed winds. So, inspired by the success of 50 Photos Of Basset Hounds Running, we now present a companion piece: 50 Dogs at 50 MPH. #23 is pure bliss. And #2 will never leave me.

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Well, why are you just sitting there? E-MAIL THIS TO YOUR MOM, SON!




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Genius Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 60, 61.

Randy Rainbow Is Back On American Idol!

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 10:22 AM PDT

Honestly, we shouldn’t even have to do a write-up for this video to encourage you to watch it. Because by now you should be as equally obsessed with Randy Rainbow as we are. The guy has got it all!! Looks, talent, class, class, class, and the kind of blood-thirsty, scalping-your-enemy drive that will get him to the TOP.

We know today is already gonna be great because our beloved Randy has once again stopped by the American Idol studios, this time to have a lil side o’ beef with Jennifer Lopez. If you are fan of American Idol (any season) or just love show tunes sung by wide-eyed, determined psychopaths (say yes, I’m right here), this is the video for you.

No lie, I could see him and Ryan Seacrest working out. On a pilates machine. This is all code for gay sex, FYI.

Can You Make It Through This Mariah Carey Pregnancy Interview Without Puking?

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 10:02 AM PDT

Fun Celebrity Game Time! Mariah Carey has a new Life & Style cover story called “All About The Babies” (not “All About The Babe-jamins?” Strike one right there.)

Let’s see if we can make it through her entire interview explaining why she’s doing a naked pregnant magazine cover photoshoot without throwing up. Begin celebrity mom backpedaling…NOW:

“I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn’t want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience. My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans.”

True Fans = Anyone in supermarket checkout lines? I guess I can understand her desire to “document the experience,” and having a magazine take naked photos of you is literally the only way.

My mom still has the old copies of her pregnant on the cover of the famous 60s magazine “Doctors Recommend Smoking Illustrated,” even though the publication had largely fallen out of favor when I was born in the 80s. Hence, why they approached her about the photospread. I digress.

No puking yet! Keep going, Mariah:

“The babies were kicking almost the entire time; it was unbelievable. Especially the girl — clearly she’s a diva in training!”

Or she’s kicking, like all babies. Or she’s already a little fetal diva! Who am I to say? Still not puking yet, and we’re halfway home…

Mariah continues:

“We didn’t start shooting until 1:30 a.m. because I was in the hospital from the night before until the day of the shoot with contractions five minutes apart!”

THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU STAY IN THE HOSPITAL INSTEAD OF– alright, alright, the contractions might’ve stopped, I’m sure she wouldn’t have done the photoshoot if she wasn’t fit for it…

“Now I have so much respect for mothers everywhere, especially those who’ve had difficult pregnancies or given birth to multiples. We need to have Mother’s Day once a week!”

I lost.

Bacon Cologne Has Ad As Inexplicable As Its Existence

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 09:30 AM PDT

I know bacon has always been popular. But has it always been this popular? Popular enough to warrant a special menu at Denny’s and it’s own cologne? Can’t we just acknowledge that bacon is delicious and move on? Do we really need to construct odes to bacon? Bacon is a false god! We will all be struck down! (By heart attacks). However, on the plus size side, this new bacon scented cologne by Fargginary, bacōn, won’t kill you, no matter how much you use. Probably. Anything can kill you. And if you drink this cologne, it’ll probably kill you quicker than eating the entire bacon menu at Denny’s. So forget I said anything.

Well, looks like they nailed their demographic of fat slobs who are rude and bad at their jobs that seem to exist in an 80′s movie! But wait. Fargginary’s press release is all classy like:

bacōn is a passion project mirrored after one of the 20th Century’s greatest legends. The Legend of Fargginay began in 1920 when quite by accident John Fargginay, a Parisian butcher discovered the ability to dramatically elevate his customers’ mood with a secret recipe blending herbs & essential oils with the essence of…bacon. As the story goes, film stars & heads of state would frequent his shop to procure the magical elixir.

So confusing. They take us one way and then another. Am I to believe that bacōn’s target customer is a reject actor from a local beer commercial or a Parisian film star and/or head of state? However, I forgive bacōn for all its sins because “frequent his shop to procure the magical elixir” is my favorite phrase ever.

Huffington Post

Comedians Finally Answer The Age-Old Question: Are Men Funny?

Posted: 06 Apr 2011 09:12 AM PDT

No matter how many men make their mark on the comedy world, every couple weeks, another controversial magazine piece will trod out the same old tired questions about the gender inequity in comedy:

Are men funny? Why aren’t there more men doing comedy?

To help put an end to this exhausted debate, we at VH1 asked several prominent comedians — Will Ferrell, Louis C.K., Kristen Schaal, Rob Corddry and others (including some men!) — to tell us once and for all, “Are men funny?” Here are their wide-ranging perspectives:

(via The Fab Life)
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