Cele|bitchy

Lindsay Lohan’s drunken Betty Ford 911 call released
“Prince William’s grand-mummy visits him at work” links
Gwyneth Paltrow’s ancestors are better than your ancestors
James Franco: The Tasmanian Devil would look stoned next to Anne Hathaway
Reese Witherspoon covers Elle UK, hangs out with Chelsea Handler
Camila Alves, McConaughey’s partner, does purse line for QVC

Lindsay Lohan’s drunken Betty Ford 911 call released

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 04:09 PM PDT

Remember when Lindsay Lohan was in the Betty Ford Clinic and she and a couple of friends went out drinking one night, and when they got back to the clinic, an employee tried to get Linnocent to take a Breathalyzer and Linnocent flew into a drunken crack rage and smacked the hell out of the employee? Yeah. That actually happened. The employee was Dawn Holland, and she later sold her story and got fired from the Betty Ford Clinic, and she later dropped the assault charge against Linnocent after Mother Crackhead paid her off. The case was still open for a while, but the DA just decided this week not to press charges. So, on Friday, TMZ got their hands on the 911 made by both Linnocent and Dawn Holland. It is… fascinating. You can just hear Linnocent's cracked-out histrionics and when Dawn gets on the line, you can still hear Lindsay squawking away in the background. It's crazy.

Yeah… this just makes me really, really MAD. I'm not like "Oh, poor Lindsay, she was the innocent victim." It's clear that she wasn't. It's also clear that the Betty Ford Clinic didn't release the whole story of this particular incident. If you remember, Lindsay's explanation was always that she got a "pass" to leave the facility and get her hair done (like, at a hotel bar - for real). Dawn says to the Sheriff's Department that Lindsay and the two other people "jumped the fence." So… I was right about this all along. Lindsay broke the rules, and when someone called her out, she flew into a crack rage and attacked. And then Lindsay tried to do a pre-emptive strike by calling 911 herself and claiming that she was the (L)innocent victim. It's pathetic and disgusting, and I can't believe that Lindsay got away with this crap.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

“Prince William’s grand-mummy visits him at work” links

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 11:33 AM PDT

Prince William shows grand-mummy around, plus Prince Harry actually says: "We’ll make sure that we dig [Will] in the ribs a few times and embarrass him. Make him lose some hair.” BURN. [LaineyGossip]
God I love that scene with John Hannah in Four Weddings & a Funeral. [Pajiba]
Knut drowned! Sad. [Dlisted]
HAMM DONG. With 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer! Weird. [Celebuzz]
Kanye West is boning Kate Upton? Boy loves his models. [IDLITW]
Is Tom Brady doing a Beyonce-style booty-pop? [Pop Sugar]
Adam Lambert parties too hard for Gaga. That's saying something. [A Socialite Life]
OMG, J-Love Hewitt's latest fashion disaster!!! [Yeeeah]
Josh Hopkins gets naked for Courteney Cox. [PopBytes]
Justified gets a third season - more Olphandong! [Agent Bedhead]
Alicia Silverstone is really, really, REALLY pregnant. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
I hate to admit it but… I love Kim Kardashian's dress. [Evil Beet]
Emma Roberts shops. And shops some more. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Eric Balfour explains… something. He's hot. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Ruh-roh. Miley is hanging out with Liam Hemsworth again. [ONTD]
Courtney Love slams Kelly Osbourne. [PopEater]
Gross. Like Jackson Pollack, only with paint vomit. [Gawker]

Gwyneth Paltrow’s ancestors are better than your ancestors

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 10:46 AM PDT

I feel like such a dork for admitting this out in the open and everything, but I really like that show Who Do You Think You Are? It's an American version of a show that I believe started in Ireland…? Anyway, Lisa Kudrow executive produces it and she brings some really fascinating people in, and they spend an hour's show researching their ancestry through public records, databases, old newspapers, whatever (and whoever) they can get their hands on. Earlier this week, I mentioned in passing that I had seen Kim Cattrall's and it was crazy - her grandfather was a bigamist! But yeah, I feel like a dork. When I'm home on a Friday night (too often), I watch it while folding my laundry. It's like my thing now.

So tonight's episode should be a doozy! DAME GWYNETH is the celebrity! Oh, you know it's going to be posh and brilliant, and you know Gwyneth is descended from, like, the best people ever. There are no peasants in her background! No "laborers" or "janitors". Gwyneth comes from a long line of Important People. According to the previews:

Gwyneth Paltrow has discovered a fascinating family fact while tracing her roots for hit U.S. TV show Who Do You Think You Are? - her great great great grandfather was a beloved Jewish holy man.

The actress tracked her ancestors back to Barbados while taping the show, which airs in America on Friday night (01Apr11) - but the biggest surprise came when she returned to New York and discovered her great great great grandfather was a “master of Kabbalah” - the mystic Jewish offshoot Paltrow studies today.

Documents show he was “a miracle worker” who once saved his community from a raging fire through his faith.

She said, “This is all kinda blowing my mind.”

[From Contact Music]

Don't you get it? Gwyneth is so wonderful that even her ancestors are better than your ancestors. God, I can't wait! I bet she cries when she realizes just how special and elite her relatives were. Here's the preview:

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

James Franco: The Tasmanian Devil would look stoned next to Anne Hathaway

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 10:25 AM PDT

That’s it, my crush on James Franco is official over. Franco will be on Letterman tonight. A preview (above) has him talking about his about his disastrous gig as Oscar host and refusing to take any responsibility for failing so miserably. He says he wasn’t stoned, that he just looked mellow compared to Anne Hathaway’s bubbly personality, and that “I actually played those lines as well as well as I could.” ORLY? Then he goes on to bitch about how everyone paid attention to him in the first place. We’ve heard the same sh*t from so many douches before. I’m surprised he doesn’t say “there’s a war on/there are natural disasters/the government budget crisis affects us all.”

For the first time since hosting the Oscars, James Franco is addressing rumors that he was stoned during the gig. In an interview on ‘The Late Show With Dave Letterman,’ airing Thursday evening, [sic: it airs tonight, Friday] the actor reveals why he appeared so low energy.

“People said I was under the influence,” Franco said during his ‘Late Show’ interview, which airs tonight.

“Now why would they say that?” asked Letterman with a laugh.

The ‘127 Hours’ actor replied, “I’ve thought about it. I think I know why, because–I love her–but Anne Hathaway is so energetic, I think the Tasmanian Devil would look stoned standing next to Anne Hathaway.”

“Truthfully,” Franco added, “and I haven’t watched it back, maybe I had low energy. I actually played those lines as well as well as I could.”

Franco concluded talking about the awards show by pointing out how wishy-washy Hollywood is: “But here’s the hypocritical thing: Leading up the Oscars, I couldn’t hear enough about how, ‘Oh, people don’t care about the Oscars anymore; it’s dead, it’s boring, it’s at the end of a long awards season, who cares about it?’ Well, as soon as you don’t host the way they want you to, they suddenly care and won’t shut up about it!”

[From Popeater]

So it’s Anne Hathaway’s fault that Franco was a zombie, and it’s the writers fault that they wrote such bad lines, and it’s everyone else’s fault for paying attention. Read my past coverage of this guy (not Kaiser’s, she’s been right about him from the beginning) and see how I’ve defended him. Yes the lines he was given totally sucked, and even the most energetic host couldn’t have saved that bloated self-congratulatory mess of a show that was in no way entertaining, I still stand by that. But Franco is really showing his true colors here. His first excuse is that he sucked because Hathaway tried too hard (he didn’t say that exactly, but that’s what I got out of it) and his next excuse is an implied one that the lines sucked. Then finally he blames people for caring about it. Not once did he say any variation of “I feel bad, I’m sorry, I was tired, I wish I would have brought it, I misjudged what needed to be done” or “I didn’t prepare enough.” He could have made some little tiny concession that he didn’t do the best job he could or was somehow responsible but there’s none of that from Franco. Again, my crush is officially over and he is that “I went to film school” douche that Kaiser and Lainey have been telling me about. My apologies for ever giving him the benefit of the doubt or finding him charming.

Franco outside the Late Show on 3/28 wearing sunglasses at night. Credit: WENN.com.

Reese Witherspoon covers Elle UK, hangs out with Chelsea Handler

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 10:06 AM PDT

This is Reese Witherspoon's cover for the May issue of Elle UK. She's promoting Water For Elephants, so I'm thinking that Reese is going to be on the cover of several May issues. I like this shot a lot - Reese's appeal is as a "normal" mom and now wife who is somehow beyond the average Hollywood junk. She's usually styled as such too - big Southern hair, big smile, kind-of Southern, pageanty dresses. I like her when she changes it up - and this is such a sexy shot. Sexy, and clean and minimalist. Love it!

There are some excerpts from the Elle cover interview too - it sounds like Reese is really talking about marriage and Ryan and Jim… very interesting:

Reese Witherspoon tied the knot with Ryan Phillippe in 1999 when she was 23. They have daughter Ava, 11, and seven-year-old son Deacon together, but got divorced in 2007. Last weekend Reese married Hollywood agent Jim Toth at a ceremony in California. The two are very happy together, but that doesn't mean Reese regrets her first wedding. She is still friends with Ryan and says being with him enriched her life.

"Oh, I was so, so young. I was, like, ridiculously young. I learnt a lot, though. It was a good opportunity for me to really find out what it means to be a partner and to be in a marriage and it's not anything that I thought it was," she told the May edition of UK magazine Elle. "You can't say, 'I don't want to talk about that.' You just can't. You've got to talk about it all."

Reese, 35, is amazed she's managed to find happiness again. She was thrilled when Jim proposed at the end of last year, revealing the moment completely took her breath away.

"It's an exciting feeling. [Somebody saying], 'You're the one.' And it's a surprise. You know, I'm surprised when people who aren't related to me see my movies," she explained. "And you're surprised somebody wants to be with you because, boy, I've got a lot of quirks and wrinkles."

Reese feels "lucky" to be with Jim because she finds the whole dating process hard. Being with someone in the same industry has made things easier, and she admits feeling "happy" she no longer has to worry about finding someone.

The actress has a small group of friends she calls on when times are hard and lasting friendships are important to Reese. Her good pals are people who don't care that she's famous and have known her for a long time, so she can trust them.

"Friendships are work. You can only have a friend if you are a friend. You've got to be there. I really want to be the person who shows up for people when they need me," she explained. "[My friends and I] tell each other everything. Stuff is hard to deal with, and we've gone through a lot together. I have an incredible support system."

[From Music Rooms]

I like the way Reese talks about her first marriage - and she has never sugar-coated that junk. The subtext - for me - is always "My first marriage was such a disaster that I kind of hated the institution for years." That's something I always appreciate about Reese - she manages to convey her feelings on her disastrous first marriage while still sounding diplomatic and nice, and never bitter. I also appreciate that she doesn't talk in self-help speak or mealy-mouthed platitudes.

A few more things - Reese stepped out with her new wedding band on, and you can see the photos here. They're pretty boring. Also, last night Reese went out partying with Chelsea Handler. There are photos to prove it! UGH. They're going to be working together on a movie. DOUBLE UGH.

Elle cover courtesy of The Fashion Spot. Additional pics by Fame.

Camila Alves, McConaughey’s partner, does purse line for QVC

Posted: 01 Apr 2011 09:40 AM PDT

I’ve never had a great impression of Matthew McConaughey’s gorgeous girlfriend, Camila Alves. She’s not your typical trophy girlfriend and she seems low key in her way, but she also has been promoting her purse line a lot and she seems a little haughty to me. Maybe that comes from years of being that damn pretty, the bitch.

Anyway Camila has had a high end handmade leather purse line out with her mother called Muxo and now she’s bringing it to the masses. She has a new photospread and interview in OK! to go along with the news that she’ll be selling her purses on QVC. I’m including one of the photos from OK! here with apologies to the OK! people. These were just too good to pass up and there are more photos in the print edition.

You came to the US just to visit from Brazil at 15 and didn’t speak any English. Wasn’t that scary?
I knew somehow I’d learn. It was more like an adventure! I got on the plane and said, “Mom, I don’t think I’m coming back.” It was a destiny kind of thing. I started modeling and stayed.

Your mom’s a designer and your partner in Muxo. Do you get your sense of style from her?
We have very different styles. She can get out there and I play it safe. We feed off each other. Yesterday we were creating a handbag for somebody. We go back and forth. Sometimes we argue, sometimes we laugh. It’s great.

How did you go from one-of-a-kind handmade couture bags to QVC?
We used to make the couture out of our garage. You have to hammer all those little rivets on the bag one by one. We’d have to deliver bags for the next day, so we’d do it all night. Handmade is expensive. We’d get letters that say, “I love your bags, but I can’t afford them.” People would offer to work for a bag. So we wanted to create something special and affordable.

What kind of woman do you design for?
All women. A lot of the bags are big: I’m on the go like a lot of women. I have my workout clothese in my bag, my laptop, my kids’ stuff. And I can still go to dinner or cocktails without going home to change.

Does Matthew give you feedback on the designs?
We’re a family. Everything we do, we do together.

Speaking of family, are you planning to have any more kids in the future?
I had two babies in three years, and my body is just now getting back to normal. So two for now is good.

[From OK! Magazine, print edition, April 11, 2011]

Here’s a link to Camila’s line for QVC. Her purses on QVC run from around $120 to $250 and they’re ok but aren’t standouts in opinion. I don’t like boho style particularly. Her designer handmade purses run around $1,000 and are much nicer of course. My favorite purse designers are Coach, B. Makowsky and Francesco Biasia, and Kaiser just got me a Eitienne Aigner purse that I love. So maybe I’m too conservative to like her purses, but the designer ones aren’t bad. Kaiser and I were conferring about this, and she said that she avoids purses with fringe and bows, which is pretty much my stance on it too.

That said, I haven’t really changed my opinion of her. If she wasn’t McConaughey’s partner we wouldn’t be hearing much about her purses and she certainly wouldn’t have them on QVC.

photo credit: WENN.com

Saturday, April 2, 2011

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